TMI Tuesday-single peeps version
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You kits are a distinct different then the norm for ladies here (sorry :flowerforyou: )
Most very often do seem to expect to want life to be in many conflicting ways.
Then I must be different from the norm as well. As a matter of fact, I would argue that many women are different from the norm in that they want to be on an equal footing in a relationship. Really the sole reason I'm not dating anyone at the moment is because I neither consider myself to be financially secure enough nor am I at a point in my chosen career where I would be anything but a burden. That completely rubs me the wrong way. I could never date a guy like Mike (sorry, Mike! Not an insult -- just completely different perspective :flowerforyou: ) who wants someone to take care of and depend on him for everything. I'm just too strong and opinionated for that. Sure, many guys here think I'm severely limiting my options, but after all, I only need one, right?
I think a lot of people (ok, me -- I really have no idea about anyone else!) come in here and find it almost cathartic to write a bunch of stuff -- but it doesn't mean they necessarily live their life that way. Sometimes, yeah, it would be nice to have a big, strong man take care of me after a hard day at work or yet another audition rejection. So, I may say something along those lines (although I don't think I've ever actually said that here lol) However, I know in the back of my mind that I'm holding off until I can meet someone who is truly my equal without anything holding me back -- cuz, for heaven's sake -- I only want to get married once!
How's that for taking a small comment and blowing it out of proportion?? You know I love you, right, Carl??
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BTW SB I'm glad you don't regret it. I honestly feel we shouldn't regret much in life. No one knows the whole story so no one but you can know what went on . I have a friends who was married to a man in a coma. After 4 yrs she got a FWB. When he died they married. She never wanted to divorce him because she was wrried that it would affect her legal medical rights and she wanted to honor his wishes. I cant blame her for finding comfort.
Exactly.
4 1/2 years in a relationship without sex deserves sainthood, not cheap moral outrage from people who don't even know her or her situation well. Or, as the Christians like to say, let's have those here without "sin" throw the first stone, shall we? Just so it will quickly quiet down.
--P0 -
And my TMI is : I once snogged a woman..............and didnt like it at all - far too smooth!! :laugh:
(and I'm just telling you that cos I want someone to post No.200 in this thread today :bigsmile: )
That was post 199!
I've kissed several girls, liked it well enough, but I just don't swing that way except in extreme situation.
Yes, me darlin. I know I was 199 and I wanted someone to answer to make it 200, which you did, so woooohoooooo!! :flowerforyou:
Have you ever, you know? With a woman? lol That kinda makes me feel Ewww! :sick:0 -
:explode: Castadiva's head exploding. I can't even begin to respond adequately to everything that's gone on here, but I will say that Kitsune and Kate's responses to Carl (and most of the follow up) were spot on - there's a big difference between feeling cherished and cared for ie. 'protected' (and I would guess the vast majority of women would expect to return that to their partner in spades) and being dependent on someone for one's every need. The first makes us feel special (and gives us the warm fuzzies about you), the second infantilises women, particularly the independent, competent, amazing women who seem to populate this forum.
I think the fundamental misunderstanding is that when women talk about being 'protected' we tend to mean (I think!) emotional protection - we want an ally against a challenging and often-unpleasant world - and to a point, physical protection - men tend to be physically larger than we are, and women are taught from a very young age, generally speaking, to feel physically (and sexually) vulnerable. What I think our wish for 'protection' is often mistaken for, though, is a desire to be 'taken care of' - to almost have a child's status, rather than an adult's, in a relationship ie. being a dependent, in the old-fashioned manner of a 'wife', rather than being a partner, bringing our own strengths and weaknesses to the pairing, which is, I believe, what the majority of adult women of the current day seek in a relationship.
In relation to sex, as someone else said: We want the emotional connection. We need it to have a long-term relationship, but with the shift in sexual mores and norms, it has become increasingly difficult to find that, though it remains the ideal - the 'fantasy', if you like - so many sexually-liberated women are making sure their physical needs are taken care of via FWB, toys or casual sex. Women are entirely capable of making the pragmatic decision that acknowledges the reality of the situation, while still holding on tenaciously to the ideal/fantasy/fairytale. I don't really see what's so difficult to understand about that - I'm reasonably sure that's not just a female thing!0 -
I got some serious laughs from this thread.0
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I could never date a guy like Mike (sorry, Mike! Not an insult -- just completely different perspective :flowerforyou: ) who wants someone to take care of and depend on him for everything. I'm just too strong and opinionated for that. Sure, many guys here think I'm severely limiting my options, but after all, I only need one, right?
It's all good Katefab, no offense taken :flowerforyou:
This is going to sounds stereotypical w/ me painting with an extremely wide brush here.. but in my travels and experience, I've noticed women from the northeast (I see Katefab is from NH) usually HATE me. Maybe women from that part of the country are more independent and opinionated than other parts of the country? Yeah, I don't get along with women like that.
I've butted heads with more women when I lived in Boston 10 years ago than I have since I moved to south Florida. I go from being a square peg in a round hole in the northeast to being an absolute perfect fit in Florida.
I've only been to Europe once.. but I can tell that I wouldn't fit in at all there. LOL
I don't want to turn this into a North vs South or East coast vs West coast debate, but do you think people with a certain personality fit in better in some parts of the country than others?0 -
This is going to sounds stereotypical w/ me painting with an extremely wide brush here.. but in my travels and experience, I've noticed women from the northeast (I see Katefab is from NH) usually HATE me. Maybe women from that part of the country are more independent and opinionated than other parts of the country? Yeah, I don't get along with women like that.
I've butted heads with more women when I lived in Boston 10 years ago than I have since I moved to south Florida. I go from being a square peg in a round hole in the northeast to being an absolute perfect fit in Florida.
Just a thought...How many world-class Universities and Blue-Chip-or-similar Headquarters are there in the greater Boston area/the North-East and how many in Southern Florida??? I don't mean at all to suggest that all in Boston are clever or that all in Southern Florida are not, but chances are that there's a higher percentage of highly-educated, intelligent women more interested in the state of the world than the state of their tan in the North East. Given your preferences, Mike, it makes sense you'd find more women to your taste in Florida than Boston.0 -
I don't want to turn this into a North vs South or East coast vs West coast debate, but do you think people with a certain personality fit in better in some parts of the country than others?
Hahaha!! I was just saying this yesterday. Yes, I do believe there is truth to this. I've lived all over the country (grew up in WI, but have lived in NY, AK, TX, HI and now VA). I had no time dating in WI growing up. That's where I was raised, that's what I knew. I lived on a military base in NY and was married after 2 years, then was married when I lived in AK & TX, so I can't speak much for either of those.
After my divorce in HI, I was able to meet men with no problem. I'd go to the beach, the store, even my son's school. There was no shortage of available, approachable men. These were men that were successful, attractive and highly desirable. However, I knew that I would not be staying on the island much longer, so I didn't reciprocate much other than having fun.
When I moved to VA, it was much different. They don't approach, unless they are drunk at a bar. And, I just don't go out to bars that often. The types of men are also different here. Either completely blue or white collar, no inbetween. The blue collar want their women to be country, the white collar want their women to be stepford wives. Yes, there are a few exceptions, but those seem to be the people that have moved here. lol I visit friends in the DC area a lot, as well as VA Beach. Each time, I have no problems meeting men. It's tempting to pack up and move. But, I placed my roots here and the kids are finally feeling a sense of "home". So, I'm stuck for the time being.0 -
This is going to sounds stereotypical w/ me painting with an extremely wide brush here.. but in my travels and experience, I've noticed women from the northeast (I see Katefab is from NH) usually HATE me. Maybe women from that part of the country are more independent and opinionated than other parts of the country? Yeah, I don't get along with women like that.
I've butted heads with more women when I lived in Boston 10 years ago than I have since I moved to south Florida. I go from being a square peg in a round hole in the northeast to being an absolute perfect fit in Florida.
Just a thought...How many world-class Universities and Blue-Chip or similar Headquarters are there in the greater Boston area, and how many in Southern Florida??? I don't mean at all to suggest that all in Boston are clever or that all in Southern Florida are not, but chances are that there's a higher percentage of highly-educated, intelligent women more interested in the state of the world than the state of their tan in the North East. Given your preferences, Mike, it makes sense you'd find more women to your taste in Florida than Boston.
Actually I live in Sf and we have some of the premier hospitals and some very good universities here. I think what it boils down too is the difference in cultures. SF has a much higher percentage of hispanic people vs boston (vs almost any state) . Speaking as a hispanic female we are raised to expect a man to take care of us. If you've ever been to a hispanic party you'll see the women cater to the men alot. We make their plates of food and make sure they have fresh beers.Not that the men dont show their affection as well but the women display alot of nuturing habits to show affection. As independent as I am when I have a bf I do this its just part of the training. Hell when I make dinner I set up plates for every single person in the house before serving myself even if said people arent in the house at the time lol.0 -
And my TMI is : I once snogged a woman..............and didnt like it at all - far too smooth!! :laugh:
(and I'm just telling you that cos I want someone to post No.200 in this thread today :bigsmile: )
That was post 199!
I've kissed several girls, liked it well enough, but I just don't swing that way except in extreme situation.
Me too. It's nice... different.0 -
This is going to sounds stereotypical w/ me painting with an extremely wide brush here.. but in my travels and experience, I've noticed women from the northeast (I see Katefab is from NH) usually HATE me. Maybe women from that part of the country are more independent and opinionated than other parts of the country? Yeah, I don't get along with women like that.
I've butted heads with more women when I lived in Boston 10 years ago than I have since I moved to south Florida. I go from being a square peg in a round hole in the northeast to being an absolute perfect fit in Florida.
Just a thought...How many world-class Universities and Blue-Chip or similar Headquarters are there in the greater Boston area, and how many in Southern Florida??? I don't mean at all to suggest that all in Boston are clever or that all in Southern Florida are not, but chances are that there's a higher percentage of highly-educated, intelligent women more interested in the state of the world than the state of their tan in the North East. Given your preferences, Mike, it makes sense you'd find more women to your taste in Florida than Boston.
Actually I live in Sf and we have some of the premier hospitals and some very good universities here. I think what it boils down too is the difference in cultures. SF has a much higher percentage of hispanic people vs boston (vs almost any state) . Speaking as a hispanic female we are raised to expect a man to take care of us. If you've ever been to a hispanic party you'll see the women cater to the men alot. We make their plates of food and make sure they have fresh beers.Not that the men dont show their affection as well but the women display alot of nuturing habits to show affection. As independent as I am when I have a bf I do this its just part of the training. Hell when I make dinner I set up plates for every single person in the house before serving myself even if said people arent in the house at the time lol.
I'm sure Southern Florida has some very intelligent people, and some excellent institutions, but the percentage of the type of woman Mike dislikes is likely to be proportionally higher in the Boston area, because of the concentration of major institutions and companies in that part of the world - it's a magnet city for intellectual high-achievers. Mike said that he had "butted heads with" a lot of opinionated women in Boston, and I was just pointing out that the very high number of World Class universities (I can think of three or four International 'names' off the top of my head) and companies in that area made it likely there was a higher concentration of intellectual/career-driven women, who are probably more likely to be "independent,opinionated" and unafraid to show it, in that area of the US, than in his current locale, where he finds the women more inclined to be to his taste.
There may well be a cultural element to the disparity as well, but I know a lot of very clever, opinionated women who are also nurturers in their relationships - it was the 'opinionated' bit I was addressing, and no offense was meant to S. Florida.0 -
I have started sleeping with my best male friend. In fact we were doing the dirty about an hour ago LOL0
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I don't want to turn this into a North vs South or East coast vs West coast debate, but do you think people with a certain personality fit in better in some parts of the country than others?
Yes, I absolutely believe this to be true!!! We actually had this exact discussion here on the Peeps probably close to a year ago...and some of us northern ladies almost got Jnash to move if I recall.:laugh:0 -
Yes, I absolutely believe this to be true!!! We actually had this exact discussion here on the Peeps probably close to a year ago...and some of us northern ladies almost got Jnash to move if I recall.:laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
When I moved to VA, it was much different. They don't approach, unless they are drunk at a bar. And, I just don't go out to bars that often. The types of men are also different here. Either completely blue or white collar, no inbetween. The blue collar want their women to be country, the white collar want their women to be stepford wives. Yes, there are a few exceptions, but those seem to be the people that have moved here. lol I visit friends in the DC area a lot, as well as VA Beach. Each time, I have no problems meeting men. It's tempting to pack up and move. But, I placed my roots here and the kids are finally feeling a sense of "home". So, I'm stuck for the time being.
I'm originally from Virginia. There are huge differences (or at least there were) between northern Virginians (few of whom were actually born in Virginia), southwestern Virginians, and Tidewater Virginians. You just can't compare Virginia Beach and Roanoke, for example... I grew up in Tidewater, went to university in Southwest Va (Blacksburg), and spent a lot of time in NoVa with friends from university. It was like three different states.
Also, didn't you get laid last night? Did I miss the post on how it went? ;-)
--P0 -
I have started sleeping with my best male friend. In fact we were doing the dirty about an hour ago LOL
Did you snap your profile pic right afterwards?
--P0 -
This is going to sounds stereotypical w/ me painting with an extremely wide brush here.. but in my travels and experience, I've noticed women from the northeast (I see Katefab is from NH) usually HATE me. Maybe women from that part of the country are more independent and opinionated than other parts of the country? Yeah, I don't get along with women like that.
I've butted heads with more women when I lived in Boston 10 years ago than I have since I moved to south Florida. I go from being a square peg in a round hole in the northeast to being an absolute perfect fit in Florida.
Just a thought...How many world-class Universities and Blue-Chip or similar Headquarters are there in the greater Boston area, and how many in Southern Florida??? I don't mean at all to suggest that all in Boston are clever or that all in Southern Florida are not, but chances are that there's a higher percentage of highly-educated, intelligent women more interested in the state of the world than the state of their tan in the North East. Given your preferences, Mike, it makes sense you'd find more women to your taste in Florida than Boston.
Actually I live in Sf and we have some of the premier hospitals and some very good universities here. I think what it boils down too is the difference in cultures. SF has a much higher percentage of hispanic people vs boston (vs almost any state) . Speaking as a hispanic female we are raised to expect a man to take care of us. If you've ever been to a hispanic party you'll see the women cater to the men alot. We make their plates of food and make sure they have fresh beers.Not that the men dont show their affection as well but the women display alot of nuturing habits to show affection. As independent as I am when I have a bf I do this its just part of the training. Hell when I make dinner I set up plates for every single person in the house before serving myself even if said people arent in the house at the time lol.
I'm sure Southern Florida has some very intelligent people, and some excellent institutions, but the percentage of the type of woman Mike dislikes is likely to be proportionally higher in the Boston area, because of the concentration of major institutions and companies in that part of the world - it's a magnet city for intellectual high-achievers. Mike said that he had "butted heads with" a lot of opinionated women in Boston, and I was just pointing out that the very high number of World Class universities (I can think of three or four International 'names' off the top of my head) and companies in that area made it likely there was a higher concentration of intellectual/career-driven women, who are probably more likely to be "independent,opinionated" and unafraid to show it, in that area of the US, than in his current locale, where he finds the women more inclined to be to his taste.
There may well be a cultural element to the disparity as well, but I know a lot of very clever, opinionated women who are also nurturers in their relationships - it was the 'opinionated' bit I was addressing, and no offense was meant to S. Florida.
There might be some truth to this.
But I will say the following, there are 5 million or so people in Metro Boston, making it a highly populated place. Granted, there are a lot of Harvard MBA and MIT Engineering types, but they are still a very tiny part of the 5 million people that live in the area.
Most young professionals I met went to average state schools, like UMass or UConn, or went to slightly above average private schools, like Boston U. or Boston College. Similarly, most of my friends here in Florida went to U of Florida or U of Miami (which are pretty comparable to UConn, UMass, etc). I'd venture to say that your average young professional is pretty similar in both cities. Boston has a segment of the populace I'd consider extremely bright.. but it's not nearly as big as you would think.
There are large Fortune 500 companies in both areas. South Florida has Office Depot, DHL, Burger King, and every cruise line. Boston has a ton of financial and biotech companies that are HQ there. I'd definitely give the edge to Boston when it comes to overall wealth and high paying jobs though.
JenBit is right, the make-up of the population is COMPLETE different. I'm lucky I speak some Spanish or else I'd be lost working in Miami!0 -
I have started sleeping with my best male friend. In fact we were doing the dirty about an hour ago LOL
Pics or it didn't happen!
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I have started sleeping with my best male friend. In fact we were doing the dirty about an hour ago LOL
Pics or it didn't happen!
Thats a boy :bigsmile:0 -
I'm originally from Virginia. There are huge differences (or at least there were) between northern Virginians (few of whom were actually born in Virginia), southwestern Virginians, and Tidewater Virginians. You just can't compare Virginia Beach and Roanoke, for example... I grew up in Tidewater, went to university in Southwest Va (Blacksburg), and spent a lot of time in NoVa with friends from university. It was like three different states.
Also, didn't you get laid last night? Did I miss the post on how it went? ;-)
--P
Absolutely huge differences between the different areas. I was offered a 3 jobs within 24hrs (NOVA, MD & Richmond). I chose Richmond because of the cost of living, as well as it being central to the beach, mountains and city. Sometimes I kick myself for that.
Also, yes. Yes, I did. You didn't miss the follow up post. We will just say that it was a very good time and we are very compatible in those regards. I don't foresee a dry spell anytime soon. 0
