TMI Tuesday-single peeps version
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that's so awesome!!
the dads i've met have seemed normal or ok, and then the issues start creeping in. ugh.
in my town there are several single men on match.com, however, none of them have interacted with me on there! where i lived, is family central. there is like a 1% chance of finding a second chance in purcellville, va.
so, i have to look in winchester, leesburg, ashburn, charles town wv, frederick, MD. and ALL of those places are so different from each other. so, those guys are ALL looking for different types of women! it's really very difficult.
the cool thing is, i've stayed friends with most of the guys i've had dates with for more than a month. we won't ever be a couple, but it's nice to have them as a friend :-)
Awww...I understand. The little burb I'm in is very much the same. And, then we have our West End, East End, South Side....etc. I feel like I'm in West Side Story...Hahaha. Anyway... my experience with match.com was that it's the place where men go immediately after their divorce, so there are still a lot of "fresh" guys out there just wanting fun. So, I avoid that. POF is not so bad if you have the patience. I actually have talked with some really nice guys in the Frederick and Leesburg areas on there, but the distance is just too far for me. I wish I knew a sure fire way to find the guys for you...unfortunately, I don't. There are a lot of cool races and events up that way, though. Maybe some 5ks? Or wine tastings....I spent a day in Louden (sp?) and noticed they have a lot of great events geared towards guys (car shows, bike fests, etc) at the wineries that were still kid friendly. Maybe try those? My son loves car shows and men love to talk about their cars!
From my perspective, online dating was solely for building a rotation of 6/10's I can be FWB with.
I've met some doozies over the years. Everyone from women who said they joined match.com just to get attention (yes, they admitted that to me) to women who were notorious when it came to flaking and re-appearing.
After a few dates, it was impossible to take anyone serious on that sight. That is why I view online as a hook-up tool. If I was looking for something serious, look elsewhere.0 -
From my perspective, online dating was solely for building a rotation of 6/10's I can be FWB with.
I've met some doozies over the years. Everyone from women who said they joined match.com just to get attention (yes, they admitted that to me) to women who were notorious when it came to flaking and re-appearing.
After a few dates, it was impossible to take anyone serious on that sight. That is why I view online as a hook-up tool. If I was looking for something serious, look elsewhere.
I think that it just depends on how you go into the situation. I'm an optimistic person and enjoy meeting new people. I use it as one tool. I do believe each region is different, just as you alluded to earlier in "stereotyping" men and women from different regions. As I responded then, before I moved here, I had no problem meeting men in real life, however since moving here, I can only count on one hand the number of times that has happened in the local area. This has to be a regional thing because when I was in HI, my children were with me all the time (except for my Friday nights out). I am often out by myself here and definitely happier and more approachable. I asked a couple guy friends (at work, church and the gym) where I would go to find a guy...all of them said to go online. That absolutely shocked me. I questioned why would I do that when I could meet them out in real life and their answers were similar...they said that they knew women online were single, and that it was much easier for a guy to face rejection via email than to his face. So, that is the mindset of the area I live in. I do agree that there are men online looking to hook up, but they are pretty easy to spot (very little stated in their profiles, shirtless pics, etc). I avoid them like the plague....but, I do talk to those that email who don't look creepy. And, I've learned that you can't keep higher standards just because you're online. But, you do have to have a sense of humor, an open mind and know what you're looking for.
Anywho...a lot of rambling, but my .02 on the subject.0 -
people where i live are not approachable, nor do they approach. LOL!
for me, it's kinda like " online dating or nothing at all" but i do understand that means a majority of the guys are looking to hook up. and it's pretty clear :-)
since i won't do that, i weed em out fast ;-) i have noticed though, that i've stayed friends with the ones that i went on dates with for 1-2 months. they still call me and text me on a regular basis. today alone, one texted me and one called me...... LOL!
ETA: once my match membership is up, i'm done w online dating.
i am joining gold's gym in addition to lifetime fitness. so we'll see if anything ever comes from those two places.
i am going to look into subbing on a regular basis come jan 1. so i might meet someone that way.
i am headed to the firehouse this weekend for CPR, and i've been throwing around the idea of volunteering with the rescue guys
and eventually i'll end up back in a hospital setting, with hopefully hot young residents or fellows ;-)0 -
i am joining gold's gym in addition to lifetime fitness. so we'll see if anything ever comes from those two places.
i am going to look into subbing on a regular basis come jan 1. so i might meet someone that way.
i am headed to the firehouse this weekend for CPR, and i've been throwing around the idea of volunteering with the rescue guys
and eventually i'll end up back in a hospital setting, with hopefully hot young residents or fellows ;-)
All of those are excellent ways to meet people.
Also, don't wear an iPod when you are at the gym. It gives men impression that you don't want to be interacted with.0 -
ETA: once my match membership is up, i'm done w online dating.
i am joining gold's gym in addition to lifetime fitness. so we'll see if anything ever comes from those two places.
i am going to look into subbing on a regular basis come jan 1. so i might meet someone that way.
i am headed to the firehouse this weekend for CPR, and i've been throwing around the idea of volunteering with the rescue guys
and eventually i'll end up back in a hospital setting, with hopefully hot young residents or fellows ;-)
Woo hoo!! Good luck!! 0 -
After a few dates, it was impossible to take anyone serious on that sight. That is why I view online as a hook-up tool. If I was looking for something serious, look elsewhere.
There are also better hook up tools.0 -
I have started sleeping with my best male friend. In fact we were doing the dirty about an hour ago LOL
Fun!0 -
There are large Fortune 500 companies in both areas. South Florida has Office Depot, DHL, Burger King, and every cruise line. Boston has a ton of financial and biotech companies that are HQ there. I'd definitely give the edge to Boston when it comes to overall wealth and high paying jobs though.
JenBit is right, the make-up of the population is COMPLETE different. I'm lucky I speak some Spanish or else I'd be lost working in Miami!
First off, speaking Spanish is necessary to living in Miami. If you're not comfortable speaking Spanish on a daily basis for vital functions, I would not recommend moving there.
The quality of companies headquartered in Boston is superior to the quality of companies headquartered in Miami.0 -
Dutch guys are really really tall, hot, speak great English and fun! This could be a great fit for you, Em.
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Dutch guys are really really tall, hot, speak great English and fun! This could be a great fit for you, Em.
Now THAT sounds like my pint of beer!0 -
He should change. I wouldn't stand for a partner who didn't pick up after herself and was sloppy. For me cleanliness is a deal-breaker. If I dated a messy girl and she wouldn't change, I would have no choice but to completely end it.
Not sure how important it is to you, but I would tell it like it is. Tell him that he should "man up" and keep his place in decent condition.
I disagree that he should change. It's a very authoritarian view to think you can change a person. If you don't like the way they are or something bugs you to that degree, you should just find another person to date, rather than try to get someone to change a behavior.0 -
I have started sleeping with my best male friend. In fact we were doing the dirty about an hour ago LOL
Pics or it didn't happen!
BAHAHAHAHA www.redtube.com should sum it up quite nicely :laugh:0 -
I could never date a guy like Mike (sorry, Mike! Not an insult -- just completely different perspective :flowerforyou: ) who wants someone to take care of and depend on him for everything. I'm just too strong and opinionated for that. Sure, many guys here think I'm severely limiting my options, but after all, I only need one, right?
It's all good Katefab, no offense taken :flowerforyou:
This is going to sounds stereotypical w/ me painting with an extremely wide brush here.. but in my travels and experience, I've noticed women from the northeast (I see Katefab is from NH) usually HATE me. Maybe women from that part of the country are more independent and opinionated than other parts of the country? Yeah, I don't get along with women like that.
I've butted heads with more women when I lived in Boston 10 years ago than I have since I moved to south Florida. I go from being a square peg in a round hole in the northeast to being an absolute perfect fit in Florida.
I've only been to Europe once.. but I can tell that I wouldn't fit in at all there. LOL
I don't want to turn this into a North vs South or East coast vs West coast debate, but do you think people with a certain personality fit in better in some parts of the country than others?
I know this has already been discussed to some extent, so I won't bother to rehash what everyone else is saying, other than to say from personal experience -- yes, different parts of the country do cater to widely different personality types. I have lived in OK, NH, MI, OH and SC, with most of my adult life spent in NH and SC. (I do consider myself to be a New Englander -- most of my life has been spent here.) The differences between NH and SC culturally are astounding. Having spent time in Western Europe, I would say that New England bears a lot of similarities. Strong, opinionated women tend to thrive here -- we have to keep up with the strong, opinionated men, after all!
That being said, I do not believe that being strong and opinionated means that I would not know how to be there for my man. I am a competent cook, know how to maintain a home's cleanliness and I know that when the time comes I will be an amazing mom. What I am really trying to say is more along the lines of what Castadiva was saying (love her!). I want someone who is my equal, someone for whom I am happy to do all those things, but someone with whom I can enjoy an intellectual (friendly!) debate and a lasting, deep friendship -- as well as a fantastic sex life, of course! Being with a man who just wants me to depend on him for everything does not, in my opinion, make me a partner worthy of respect.0 -
Yep. Although there are a few "staples" (in terms of behaviour) and some degree of change is sometimes desirable... In the sense that you can't (necessarily) behave like a 14 y.o. boy (or girl actually) until the day you die.
I disagree that he should change. It's a very authoritarian view to think you can change a person. If you don't like the way they are or something bugs you to that degree, you should just find another person to date, rather than try to get someone to change a behavior.He should change. I wouldn't stand for a partner who didn't pick up after herself and was sloppy. For me cleanliness is a deal-breaker. If I dated a messy girl and she wouldn't change, I would have no choice but to completely end it.
Not sure how important it is to you, but I would tell it like it is. Tell him that he should "man up" and keep his place in decent condition.
If the guy is accepting of that change, then I guess it's OK in my book. Some guys are genuinely really clueless when it comes to these things and need people to "show them the way".
This brings a quote attributed to Einstein:
"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed."0 -
I know this has already been discussed to some extent, so I won't bother to rehash what everyone else is saying, other than to say from personal experience -- yes, different parts of the country do cater to widely different personality types. I have lived in OK, NH, MI, OH and SC, with most of my adult life spent in NH and SC. (I do consider myself to be a New Englander -- most of my life has been spent here.) The differences between NH and SC culturally are astounding. Having spent time in Western Europe, I would say that New England bears a lot of similarities. Strong, opinionated women tend to thrive here -- we have to keep up with the strong, opinionated men, after all!
That being said, I do not believe that being strong and opinionated means that I would not know how to be there for my man. I am a competent cook, know how to maintain a home's cleanliness and I know that when the time comes I will be an amazing mom. What I am really trying to say is more along the lines of what Castadiva was saying (love her!). I want someone who is my equal, someone for whom I am happy to do all those things, but someone with whom I can enjoy an intellectual (friendly!) debate and a lasting, deep friendship -- as well as a fantastic sex life, of course! Being with a man who just wants me to depend on him for everything does not, in my opinion, make me a partner worthy of respect.
At the end of the day you have to be yourself and do what works for you. It sounds like being strong and opinionated has worked out very well for you in all aspects of your life in New England. So keep on keepin' on! 0
