Why am I so turned off by an educated woman?
Replies
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Was it the education level or the field?
It was the level of education. I would think twice if it was a B.A. in Psychology.
I'm some what the same way.... and my reason for being turned off has nothing to do with the field of education or level... it's the fact that they seem to have to let you know how educated they are every chance they get.0 -
Was it the education level or the field?
It was the level of education. I would think twice if it was a B.A. in Psychology.
I'm some what the same way.... and my reason for being turned off has nothing to do with the field of education or level... it's the fact that they seem to have to let you know how educated they are every chance they get.
This has been my experience as well. Even though everyone touched on good points, this is a MAJOR one.0 -
Busy day here, so I skimmed over the other responses. I'll answer it based on my experiences with men. You a like 90% of men out there and want to wear the pants in the relationship in most regards.
Most men want to be the bread winner/alpha/etc in all aspects of the relationship. They feel that they should earn more money, that they should have the more respected job, that they should have the better education and that they should hold higher civic positions within the community. If they are with a woman that outshines them in any of these areas, the relationship has the potential to struggle (if it even gets off the ground).
This, exactly. Mike's view is completely consistent of that held by most men I've encountered. I have a BS in Engineering and a JD, and it's proven to be a great way to turn guys off who previously seemed interested... :grumble:0 -
Was it the education level or the field?
It was the level of education. I would think twice if it was a B.A. in Psychology.
I'm some what the same way.... and my reason for being turned off has nothing to do with the field of education or level... it's the fact that they seem to have to let you know how educated they are every chance they get.
This has been my experience as well. Even though everyone touched on good points, this is a MAJOR one.
Or maybe its not that they bring it up all the time, just that your both sensitive to it so notice when it does get brought up, if you didnt care you probably wouldnt notice.0 -
Was it the education level or the field?
It was the level of education. I would think twice if it was a B.A. in Psychology.
I'm some what the same way.... and my reason for being turned off has nothing to do with the field of education or level... it's the fact that they seem to have to let you know how educated they are every chance they get.
This has been my experience as well. Even though everyone touched on good points, this is a MAJOR one.
Do you mean they bring up the PhD/whatever it is at every turn, or just that they can conduct (and like/expect) an intelligent, wide-ranging discussion, and are less likely to agree automatically with your opinion on things? No sarcasm intended, by the way, just a genuine curiosity about what you really mean.0 -
It's probably what everyone else said.. but there could be an alternative explanation..
Maybe consciously or unconsciously you want to have children someday. .Maybe you want a traditional family where the mom stays at home and does the (incredibly difficult) job of taking care of the household and the kids. Maybe you wonder if a woman so focused on her career will be willing to make the sacrifices to adopt this role. . Therefore, you are more interested in women who are less career focused. . . An advanced degree is a sign of someone who's driven in a way that might be at odds with full-time mommy-hood. .
IF your ultimate goal is a traditional family environment, then you are doing yourself and your partners a favor by seeking out someone who would fit into this role willingly and without the conflict a decision like that would create for someone who has spent her life driving toward more personal and professional goals. .0 -
Was it the education level or the field?
It was the level of education. I would think twice if it was a B.A. in Psychology.
I'm some what the same way.... and my reason for being turned off has nothing to do with the field of education or level... it's the fact that they seem to have to let you know how educated they are every chance they get.
This has been my experience as well. Even though everyone touched on good points, this is a MAJOR one.
Do you mean they bring up the PhD/whatever it is at every turn, or just that they can conduct (and like/expect) an intelligent, wide-ranging discussion, and are less likely to agree automatically with your opinion on things? No sarcasm intended, by the way, just a genuine curiosity about what you really mean.
Well just look at this group, we had two months of threads about men being scared of women of higher education... all I wanted to post is GET OVER YOURSELF. I think some of the women think it should be a selling point to guys, but the fact is guys don't care about stats like that!!
Also my mom went from just HS education to a masters and it just changed her... like she feels the need to show no humility or hold herself to a higher standard. For me, I'd rather have someone that is real than someone trying to portray an image that isn't 100% them.0 -
I didn't read through all the responses as because I really just don't have the time right now.
You have mentioned before that you like to be the dominate person in the relationship and prefer the woman to be more submissive. Someone that has higher education then a bachelor degree usually has more dominate of a personality. You are probably turned off by the perceived personality of someone being more dominate then you.0 -
Well just look at this group, we had two months of threads about men being scared of women of higher education... all I wanted to post is GET OVER YOURSELF. I think some of the women think it should be a selling point to guys, but the fact is guys don't care about stats like that!!
Also my mom went from just HS education to a masters and it just changed her... like she feels the need to show no humility or hold herself to a higher standard. For me, I'd rather have someone that is real than someone trying to portray an image that isn't 100% them.
I work at a university and deal with people who hold various high level degrees on a daily basis. Yes, some people do let it go to their head and like to mention it often, but others are very down to earth about it and know it's just part of their job. This goes for both genders FYI.0 -
Cutting down the quote-thread for brevity!Do you mean they bring up the PhD/whatever it is at every turn, or just that they can conduct (and like/expect) an intelligent, wide-ranging discussion, and are less likely to agree automatically with your opinion on things? No sarcasm intended, by the way, just a genuine curiosity about what you really mean.
Well just look at this group, we had two months of threads about men being scared of women of higher education... all I wanted to post is GET OVER YOURSELF. I think some of the women think it should be a selling point to guys, but the fact is guys don't care about stats like that!!
Not a selling point perhaps, but honestly, in this day and age, an educated woman shouldn't exactly be a shock to the system/something for a man to be scared of, which is the experience of a lot of the women here. (Not criticising Mike's, or anyone else's, personal preferences, just eternally flummoxed by this!)Also my mom went from just HS education to a masters and it just changed her... like she feels the need to show no humility or hold herself to a higher standard. For me, I'd rather have someone that is real than someone trying to portray an image that isn't 100% them.
What's not 'real' about an educated woman, and why do you think it isn't 100% her? Re. your Mom, people do change - their experiences make an impact, inevitably. Surely it's a good thing that her educational gains (and huge kudos to her for achieving that in (presumably) later life!) have given her more confidence?0 -
Cutting down the quote-thread for brevity!Do you mean they bring up the PhD/whatever it is at every turn, or just that they can conduct (and like/expect) an intelligent, wide-ranging discussion, and are less likely to agree automatically with your opinion on things? No sarcasm intended, by the way, just a genuine curiosity about what you really mean.
Well just look at this group, we had two months of threads about men being scared of women of higher education... all I wanted to post is GET OVER YOURSELF. I think some of the women think it should be a selling point to guys, but the fact is guys don't care about stats like that!!
Not a selling point perhaps, but honestly, in this day and age, an educated woman shouldn't exactly be a shock to the system/something for a man to be scared of, which is the experience of a lot of the women here. (Not criticising Mike's, or anyone else's, personal preferences, just eternally flummoxed by this!)Also my mom went from just HS education to a masters and it just changed her... like she feels the need to show no humility or hold herself to a higher standard. For me, I'd rather have someone that is real than someone trying to portray an image that isn't 100% them.
What's not 'real' about an educated woman, and why do you think it isn't 100% her? Re. your Mom, people do change - their experiences make an impact, inevitably. Surely it's a good thing that her educational gains (and huge kudos to her for achieving that in (presumably) later life!) have given her more confidence?
Sorry I'd love to dive into this more but I have a busy day.
When I see an highly educated women I think Hillary Clinton, can't make a mistake, has to be proper, projecting an image. When I see a stripper, I think cruising down a country road in a red convertible with some Guns and Roses blasting on the radio laughing our *kitten* of and having a blast. I know this is a shoddy response, but to me the highly educated women isn't much fun and no fun is a turn off.0 -
Typically it's a reflection of your own insecurities.
--P0 -
Cutting down the quote-thread for brevity!Do you mean they bring up the PhD/whatever it is at every turn, or just that they can conduct (and like/expect) an intelligent, wide-ranging discussion, and are less likely to agree automatically with your opinion on things? No sarcasm intended, by the way, just a genuine curiosity about what you really mean.
Well just look at this group, we had two months of threads about men being scared of women of higher education... all I wanted to post is GET OVER YOURSELF. I think some of the women think it should be a selling point to guys, but the fact is guys don't care about stats like that!!
Not a selling point perhaps, but honestly, in this day and age, an educated woman shouldn't exactly be a shock to the system/something for a man to be scared of, which is the experience of a lot of the women here. (Not criticising Mike's, or anyone else's, personal preferences, just eternally flummoxed by this!)Also my mom went from just HS education to a masters and it just changed her... like she feels the need to show no humility or hold herself to a higher standard. For me, I'd rather have someone that is real than someone trying to portray an image that isn't 100% them.
What's not 'real' about an educated woman, and why do you think it isn't 100% her? Re. your Mom, people do change - their experiences make an impact, inevitably. Surely it's a good thing that her educational gains (and huge kudos to her for achieving that in (presumably) later life!) have given her more confidence?
Sorry I'd love to dive into this more but I have a busy day.
When I see an highly educated women I think Hillary Clinton, can't make a mistake, has to be proper, projecting an image. When I see a stripper, I think cruising down a country road in a red convertible with some Guns and Roses blasting on the radio laughing our *kitten* of and having a blast. I know this is a shoddy response, but to me the highly educated women isn't much fun and no fun is a turn off.
But don't you agree that that is a generalization, and the woman can surprise you?
Men I don't understand you sometimes. Look, I get that some highly educated people are pompous...but why don't you get to know the woman before being turned off? Maybe she'll really cool underneath it all.0 -
It's very hard to explain, but there does seem to be a major disconnect between the sexes here. A lot of women experience this and a lot of men feel the same way I do.
I'd like compare a stripper and college professor (over generalized examples, but you catch my drift).
A stripper is like playing Xbox 360. They're exciting, enjoyable to play with, and most importantly.. they're fun. Whereas with the college professor, I'd feel that I'm playing a game of mental chess everytime I talk to her. To me, that's just not something I want to do after a stressful day at work. I just don't find that enjoyable.0 -
There's something to be said for a person that rubs your face in their accomplishments. There's a difference between celebrating your achievements, and using is it as a reason to treat other people as though they are inferior. I've found this is common in all walks of life because people that are arrogant find any reason to be arrogant - even if comparatively the things they are most proud of aren't something normally brag worthy. It's the woman who got her degree in liberal arts and works at a nonprofit, so clearly she is more sacrificing and caring than you. It's the guy who is celebrating getting out of jail early by smoking a joint. It's the person that demands recognition, instead of just... being who they are. They believe they have to be acknowledged for their accomplishments or it never really happened.
Despite the arrogance, this does not mean that the person is confident. A person that is arrogant NEEDS recognition, they need praise and attention. There is a fine line, and many people can't tell the difference. Usually it's the person constantly screaming about how confident they are (that's a pretty good indicator in my experience).0 -
Was it the education level or the field?
It was the level of education. I would think twice if it was a B.A. in Psychology.
I'm some what the same way.... and my reason for being turned off has nothing to do with the field of education or level... it's the fact that they seem to have to let you know how educated they are every chance they get.
This has been my experience as well. Even though everyone touched on good points, this is a MAJOR one.
I tend to think this is more about insecurity than dominance. You can have either a dominant or submissive personality type regardless of your education. If someone isn’t comfortable with another person’s achievements- I see that as insecurity, not dominance.
I have two graduate degrees. I will never make any money, have any real prestige or anything like that. They are purely so I can do my job. One is dime a dozen, and the other is pretty specialized, but they’re both in a traditionally female dominated field (education). Over 50% of teachers have an advanced degree. I have only ever encountered anyone being turned off by my undergrad (not education). So,I’m curious: what if she were a teacher? ( I remember you saying you thought “teacher” was maybe the most desirable female job-most teachers have or are working toward advanced degrees).0 -
A stripper is like playing Xbox 360. They're exciting, enjoyable to play with, and most importantly.. they're fun. Whereas with the college professor, I'd feel that I'm playing a game of mental chess everytime I talk to her. To me, that's just not something I want to do after a stressful day at work. I just don't find that enjoyable.
Mike, if that was really it, then you wouldn't have been turned off by her degree. You said yourself she wasShe's pretty, funny, and we seem to have a lot in common. We both enjoy to working out, reality television, Indian food, etc etc. Perfect, right?
Clearly you didn't feel like you were playing mental chess with her before. She didn't give off that vibe. Using that as an excuse now feels an awful lot like backpedaling.0 -
It's very hard to explain, but there does seem to be a major disconnect between the sexes here. A lot of women experience this and a lot of men feel the same way I do.
I'd like compare a stripper and college professor (over generalized examples, but you catch my drift).
A stripper is like playing Xbox 360. They're exciting, enjoyable to play with, and most importantly.. they're fun. Whereas with the college professor, I'd feel that I'm playing a game of mental chess everytime I talk to her. To me, that's just not something I want to do after a stressful day at work. I just don't find that enjoyable.
It's really hard to explain... it's like a stigma that comes with the education or something. For me it's just something I don't want to deal with.0 -
It's very hard to explain, but there does seem to be a major disconnect between the sexes here. A lot of women experience this and a lot of men feel the same way I do.
I'd like compare a stripper and college professor (over generalized examples, but you catch my drift).
A stripper is like playing Xbox 360. They're exciting, enjoyable to play with, and most importantly.. they're fun. Whereas with the college professor, I'd feel that I'm playing a game of mental chess everytime I talk to her. To me, that's just not something I want to do after a stressful day at work. I just don't find that enjoyable.
Don't you like to have intellectual conversations? I get the impression you do as you like to come on here and debate with all of us? Would you really truly appreciate a girl who if you asked a question said "what? I don't I understand" or "I don't care."
I want a man I can have intellectual conversations with.0 -
Hilarious that "uneducated woman" = stripper, while "educated woman" = Hillary Clinton.
There are some serious psychological issues in this thread... :-)
--P0 -
It's very hard to explain, but there does seem to be a major disconnect between the sexes here. A lot of women experience this and a lot of men feel the same way I do.
I'd like compare a stripper and college professor (over generalized examples, but you catch my drift).
A stripper is like playing Xbox 360. They're exciting, enjoyable to play with, and most importantly.. they're fun. Whereas with the college professor, I'd feel that I'm playing a game of mental chess everytime I talk to her. To me, that's just not something I want to do after a stressful day at work. I just don't find that enjoyable.
No offence, but you live in a very strange world where everyone is in specific boxes. My sister has a masters degree and loves nothing more than watching the football (soccer) with a few beers. She is a single mum has 2 jobs and 2 kids, and is one of the most down to earth people you could meet.
Its not the education, its the personality of a person. education doesn't equal pretentiousness, people will be pretentious and arrogant whatever there education level if thats the kind of person they are.0 -
Hilarious that "uneducated woman" = stripper, while "educated woman" = Hillary Clinton.
There are some serious psychological issues in this thread... :-):
--P
:laugh: :noway: Seriously!!! :flowerforyou:
And I bet Hillary's fun when she's not busy being the Secretary of State eg. the world's most powerful diplomat - I've always thought she probably has a wicked sense of humour. She'd need it!0 -
Hilarious that "uneducated woman" = stripper, while "educated woman" = Hillary Clinton.
There are some serious psychological issues in this thread... :-)
--P
:noway: Seriously!!! :flowerforyou:
Hahahahahaha yeah really!
I used to know a girl who was a stripper and she was one of the smartest people I knew at the time, so that is why it makes me giggle.0 -
Hilarious that "uneducated woman" = stripper, while "educated woman" = Hillary Clinton.
There are some serious psychological issues in this thread... :-)
--P
When in doubt go with a thong in one case and a pants suit in the other.0 -
Hilarious that "uneducated woman" = stripper, while "educated woman" = Hillary Clinton.
There are some serious psychological issues in this thread... :-)
--P
lol I think its just to ue as a far example. I mean there are middle grounds0 -
Mike, I have a feeling Pamela would have a field day with all the unfortunate psychological mumbo gumbo in this thread...maybe you should get her to use her PhD and analyze all of us?0
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When I see an highly educated women I think Hillary Clinton, can't make a mistake, has to be proper, projecting an image. When I see a stripper, I think cruising down a country road in a red convertible with some Guns and Roses blasting on the radio laughing our *kitten* of and having a blast. I know this is a shoddy response, but to me the highly educated women isn't much fun and no fun is a turn off.
You must live a pretty sheltered life if you've never met a highly educated woman who is fun.
Too bad, there are tons of them out there, and I bet a lot of them love Guns and Roses, laughing, and convertibles. Best of all -- they can afford to buy the fancy red convertible!0 -
When I see an highly educated women I think Hillary Clinton, can't make a mistake, has to be proper, projecting an image. When I see a stripper, I think cruising down a country road in a red convertible with some Guns and Roses blasting on the radio laughing our *kitten* of and having a blast. I know this is a shoddy response, but to me the highly educated women isn't much fun and no fun is a turn off.
You must live a pretty sheltered life if you've never met a highly educated woman who is fun.
Too bad, there are tons of them out there, and I bet a lot of them love Guns and Roses, laughing, and convertibles. Best of all -- they can afford to buy the fancy red convertible!
Actually my life has been anything but sheltered, but thanks for assuming.0 -
I dunno .. I would love to take a stuffy, highly educated man and turn him into a pile of mush with my feminine ways ..lol. :devil: :devil:
Maybe you should try looking at it that way!0 -
Lots of strippers stripping to pay for college...or grad school
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