BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
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Hi, all. Just finishing my fourth day with MFP. Over thirty five years of binge eating under my belt, and I'm so tired of it. I started MFP on a whim (weird, huh?), but I'm actually enjoying the structure of it and have tried to be completely honest in recording what I eat. I had a very bingey November and December and early January, and then for some reason last week I decided to "experiment" with taking some control back.
Anyway, I'm glad to see that there's a support group for binge eaters, and I look forward to getting to know y'all.0 -
Well said! Thanks!Please don't feel as though you need to *not* enter something, or quit because you don't want to log everything. I totally get that feeling too, and I think what helped the most for me was realizing that it doesn't matter how I stack up against someone else - at the end of the day, it's my struggle. And MFP is a tool to better help me see and understand my struggle. Am I totally embarrassed that I've binged on junk food three days in a row? YUP. Did I enter it anyway? I'm proud to say that I did. And it made me cry. But, I think it's really important, for me, at least, to be honest and accountable to myself - and hopefully start to recognize patterns of behavior. Good luck
Thanks for that. I'm fairly new to the site but have a long history of bingeing. I'll kick it for 6 months but it always comes back. Happened today really for the first time since December. I hate myself for it, and don't want to log it and having all the enthusiastic well-meaning friends saying things like "tomorrow's another day!"
Yeah well it is, and it's damn hard. Sorry to sound so negative but I am just pulling myself out of a big, big hole and slipped. Will be happy to support all of you, so if you'd like add me.
The plan for the rest of the day is just relax. Let my body rest. "Tomorrow's another day."0 -
I hide food that is just for me. I used to buy cans of frosting and place them in the bottom of the fridge "just so" that way my husband couldn't see them in there. I knew he would eat it if he saw it! I finally stopped eating the frosting because I discovered the trans fat on the label. I still do this but with other food. I may have a box of snack cakes, or a bag of candy, a couple of pounds of cherries, or what have you. If he finds what I was reserving for my self and eats any I feel so angry! The more he eats of it the angrier I feel. I never say anything, but I usually shoot him the stink eye behind his back! I don't do this all the time, but I will do it at least once a month. At times I may stash several items. I like to wait until he is in the other room to have my way with the pantry.0
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Since Molly has encouraged us to share, share, share, I am going to share.
I have big issues. When I see others "completed their diary and were under their calorie goal", I feel major pressure to do the same and if I don't I feel like I'm bad and I also feel...gasp, I'm going to admit it...jealous. Not helpful. I don't know how to get over it and not compare myself to others. So then I feel the need to restrict more which feels like I'm on a diet and I'm slowly realizing, once again, that diets don't work (thank you Molly and others). Am I the only person that feels like this? I'm thinking, yes, probably. I know I am REALLY screwed up. But I had to share it.
Thanks for listening and not judging. I already feel bad enough for feeling the way I do so please no hating.
Yes, I feel that way. Seeing all my other friends completing their diaries and being on target, while I can't even go a whole week staying within my goal and avoiding red days.
I'm not judging, I understand exactly what you mean! I try to eat 1,600 - 1,700 / day but when I see other lower numbers it triggers me to want to "do better"... and lower calorie goals. I just need to not compare to others... it does nothing to help me0 -
http://www.worldofnlp.com/nlp-techniques-binge-eating/
This is kind of nasty... but seems like a helpful way to combat binges. Think of the binge, think of something disgusting, think of the binge again... etc....
Here’s the technique!
*Categorize the type of food you binge eat. For instance, it could be fast food, snack food, chocolates, etc.
There is usually a situation or context where such binge eating takes place. For instance, you might snack whenever you watch TV but not really anywhere else. Or you might binge eat snack foods after meals. You have to identify the context where you get the feeling of wanting to binge eat.
* Picture the context in your mind. During this time, notice the full-sensory experience of binge eating. Notice what you see, hear and feel, especially after that food goes down your stomach.
* Clear your mind.
*Now imagine something that is totally and absolutely disgusting for you. For instance, it might be the garbage dump or decaying meat. Smell and taste this foul thing in your mouth (this may take some getting used to) and notice how you feel like wanting to throw up.
* Clear your mind again.
* Go back to #3. Picture your favorite food again and imagine yourself eating it like the first time, noticing the level of pleasure your experience, but this time, on the next time you taste that food, notice how you chew or bite into it and it opens up the sensation of something absolute foul-tasting, as in #5.
* Do this about 4-7 times (if you feel really sick the first time around, you can go to the next step).
*Clear your mind.
*Test by imagining your binge-eating-food in your mind. Does it bring back the same desire? By this stage, you would have successfully disconnected the automatic behavior of binge eating.0 -
Where to start? I’ve been bingeing for close to 10 years now. 10 years of fighting this addiction, 10 years of hating myself for it, 10 years of hiding food, 10 years of cancelling plans to stay home and eat, 10 years of making myself sick (I have a fairly serious digestive disease which means that for me bingeing has side more side effects than shame and weight gain.. binges for me typically result in high fevers, agonizing stomach pain, incessant bathroom trips, and I’ve even triggered a flare of my disease resulting in hospitalization solely from bingeing.. and yet I won’t stop.. makes perfect sense, right?). But I will not let this continue for another year. I expect 2013 is going to be a really big (and really great) year for me. I just switched jobs and I’m so excited for my new job and the fact that it’s going to allow me more of a work-life balance (previous job was very demanding and I worked in excess of 65 hours most weeks). I recently discovered running and I can’t say enough about the positive effects this new hobby has had on my life (I ran my first half marathon on 1/13/13 and it was the best day of my life!). I plan to run a second half marathon this spring and then either a full marathon (eek!) or a third half in the fall. And finally, I am very convinced that 2013 is the year my boyfriend is going to propose (he does not know about my binge eating and I cannot marry him and continue to hide this). And so I’m also going to make 2013 the year I conquer this addiction.
I welcome any and all thoughts and suggestions as this is the first time I’ve really admitted to anyone about these struggles and also the first time I’ve really made a good faith effort to stop.0 -
Long "chat" with myself last evening - hand is till cramped from all the stream-of-consciousness writing. The upshot of which is this:
It may be about hunger, but it's NEVER about food.0 -
Hi everyone!!
I thought I would join in. Even though I have lost weight I still have binge issues. I did have one slip up this week.
My tough days on on my exercise rest days. I need to rest today or maybe tomorrow. I get scared because there are no extra exercise calories. For some reason days I move less I feel more hungry too. THAT SUCKS.
I thought I would share in case others have trouble on rest days too.0 -
Hey, all. My username is Rincoglionita (it's a not-so-nice Italian word that means "crazy"), but you can call me Poppy, as all my online friends do. I've been struggling with binge eating disorder for over 30 years and finally feel I'm at a place where I can start to take control of my food intake again. I know it's not a linear process, and though I've been binge-free for the four weeks I've been MFPing, I know that can change at any time. I've found that logging my food here and getting support from friends (both here and IRL) and my therapist makes a world of difference. I know that I feel so much better about myself since I've been logging what I eat, and that sense of control feels AMAZING!
Instead of "cluttering up" the February Binge Challenge with discussions, I thought I'd try to engage people here, while continuing to record my progress in the Binge Challenge there.
Karendee4, congratulations on your amazing success with weight deletion AND your fight with binge eating! It seems that learning to have a healthy relationship with food is the hardest part of this process. That's kind of what I was afraid of when I joined MFP 4 weeks ago, but I do feel much better prepared to deal with it now than I have before. Ever.
Your journaling conclusion is very thought-provoking, Nadinebl. I would add that, for me, it IS in many ways about food because that's been my coping mechanism for 30+ years and now I have to find a different way to cope AND find a way to make peace with food. I totally agree that the "hunger" for food during a binge has little to do with actual hunger, though. Have you found writing to be helpful for you?
How are you doing, AshleyOlivia? It can be so overwhelming at the beginning of acknowledging and fighting BED.
Looking forward to chatting about whatever comes up....0 -
Thanks rincoglionita!
I had a bad day yesterday. I usually exercise hard the next day and eat less to combat the binge. Today not going to do that! Punishing myself like that can just lead to another binge!!
I ordered a few books from my library off the suggested book list. Hopefully I can read up on my binge eating and figure this out. I also signed up for a course on BE.
I think part of it is how close I am to 100's. I was 205 on my old scale. I got a new one and it said 208 yeasterday. I was so sad. Now today is says 210 due to my binge. Maybe salt etc.
Getting on the scale daily usually helps me. However this week it did not. It put me furter away from onederland. I know in my mind I did not gain because of a new scale but it was a hard # to see!0 -
I've been on MFP since Jan 6th, and this group seems to be made just for me. I've been stuffing my face and mindlessly inhaling thousands of calories every day for many, many years. Sometimes I have lost weight - started smoking once and lost 40 lbs. When I quit, I gained 60! Then I exercised for up to 2 hrs a day, and lost 50 lbs. When I quit exercising I gained 100 lbs.
Now, I think I'm ready to start looking at my eating behavior, which is something I've never done before. This is going to be a very slow process, but I'm ready. MFP is helping me to be mindful and not fog out when I eat. I'm becoming accountable to a damn website - hey, whatever works! Maybe I'll even join the binge Challenge thread next month
Thanks to all who are strong enough to be here and for helping me start this change!0 -
Hi everyone!!
I thought I would join in. Even though I have lost weight I still have binge issues. I did have one slip up this week.
My tough days on on my exercise rest days. I need to rest today or maybe tomorrow. I get scared because there are no extra exercise calories. For some reason days I move less I feel more hungry too. THAT SUCKS.
I thought I would share in case others have trouble on rest days too.
One way to deal with this is to go to a site like scooby's workshop, find your your TDEE (total calories you expend daily, counting your exercise calories), take 15-20% off that, and eat the same amount everyday, rather than just getting extra when you exercise. It seems a more balanced approach. I too get hungrier when I miss a workout, I think the exercise I do acts as an appetite suppressant and also as a sort of motivator to not binge and eat too much rubbish.
You mention books.
One of the best ones I have found, which I am currently reading, and which is a very well laid out and chunky book is 'The Compassionate Mind Approach To Beating Overeating' by Ken Goss.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Compassionate-Aproach-Beating-Overeating-Overcoming/dp/1845298772/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1360365352&sr=8-2
Should be on the USA site also.0 -
Hi everyone!!
I thought I would join in. Even though I have lost weight I still have binge issues. I did have one slip up this week.
My tough days on on my exercise rest days. I need to rest today or maybe tomorrow. I get scared because there are no extra exercise calories. For some reason days I move less I feel more hungry too. THAT SUCKS.
I thought I would share in case others have trouble on rest days too.
One way to deal with this is to go to a site like scooby's workshop, find your your TDEE (total calories you expend daily, counting your exercise calories), take 15-20% off that, and eat the same amount everyday, rather than just getting extra when you exercise. It seems a more balanced approach. I too get hungrier when I miss a workout, I think the exercise I do acts as an appetite suppressant and also as a sort of motivator to not binge and eat too much rubbish.
You mention books.
One of the best ones I have found, which I am currently reading, and which is a very well laid out and chunky book is 'The Compassionate Mind Approach To Beating Overeating' by Ken Goss.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Compassionate-Aproach-Beating-Overeating-Overcoming/dp/1845298772/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1360365352&sr=8-2
Should be on the USA site also.
Thanks!! I will check for that book too. I am willing to read anything that might help!0 -
One way to deal with this is to go to a site like scooby's workshop, find your your TDEE (total calories you expend daily, counting your exercise calories), take 15-20% off that, and eat the same amount everyday, rather than just getting extra when you exercise. It seems a more balanced approach.
I'm a fan of the TDEE minus 20% approach, too, as I like the consistency. I can't speak to the rest of Graelwyn's post as I'm not exercising yet (I'm implementing changes gradually as I think it's going to greatly increase the chances of my long-term success), but knowing that I have X amount of calories to deal with every day helps me plan and become used to eating in this way. I also aim for higher protein, which helps keep me satisfied, also staving off bingeing tendencies.
I also can't recommend enough pausing when you feel a binge coming on and checking in with yourself. It is MUCH easier said than done, and, for me, at least, it has taken repeated attempts to get any sort of success with it, but when it works, it feels incredible. For example, I've discovered that I feel bingey (and sometimes act on it) before I even figure out what negative emotion is going on. It's often resentment, sometimes anger (related, I guess), or anxiety (maybe resentment combines anxiety and anger?). I use the food to stave off the emotion so that I don't even have to feel it, which is why I say I'm not even aware of what I'm feeling.
Today is actually a good example of a bit of success (so far). I had a big stressy thing at work, and then a major disruption with a friend, and it is causing all kinds of anxiety, which is affecting my eating. I haven't binged; in fact, until about half an hour ago, I hadn't eaten much at all, which also sets me up for a binge. First thing I did when I got home from work was fix myself a protein shake with peanut butter (high protein, some added fat, a bit sweet-ish), and it's made me feel better physically and emotionally. I'll have a proper meal in a little bit, after my kid gets home, but tuning in and taking care of myself was the way to go instead of tuning out and bingeing. This is what's helping *me*, and it may not be helpful for anyone else, but I thought I'd share my experience in case it might be useful.
I am also interested in checking out the book you mentioned, Graelwyn. Thanks for suggesting it.
Hang in there, everyone. This is really hard stuff to deal with, and there's not a lot of research on BED and what the most successful treatments are, so we really need to help each other!0 -
rincoglionita I notice I am more prone to binge when I get very hungry too. I started having a small snack right away. Even if it is before lunch or dinner. it keeps me on track if I am not starving.
Yesterday was a good day!!
One of the books I requested at the library is in. YEAH. I will go pick it up today and start reading.
I also created a binge list. I loved that idea from a post here. I will look at the list and do every item on the list if I have to.0 -
Yay for good days! Thanks for sharing it, too!0
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Since Molly has encouraged us to share, share, share, I am going to share.
I have big issues. When I see others "completed their diary and were under their calorie goal", I feel major pressure to do the same and if I don't I feel like I'm bad and I also feel...gasp, I'm going to admit it...jealous. Not helpful. I don't know how to get over it and not compare myself to others. So then I feel the need to restrict more which feels like I'm on a diet and I'm slowly realizing, once again, that diets don't work (thank you Molly and others). Am I the only person that feels like this? I'm thinking, yes, probably. I know I am REALLY screwed up. But I had to share it.
Thanks for listening and not judging. I already feel bad enough for feeling the way I do so please no hating.
I feel the same perplexity. I follow ppl on Instagram also and find myself internally competing with their meals or their health... I even wonder if these ppl ever have cheat days or just a healthy relationship with food? It makes me mad and then I find myself binging! I hate it!0 -
So far the weekend has been great. I am getting there slowly.
I forogt to mention my rest days seem to be a challenge because for some reason I feel more hungry when I don't exercise. It is like exercise curbs my appetitie.
I am loving this group. I wish I had been more active before. It is helping so much!!
Happy Sunday BE peeps.0 -
Its only recently that I discovered my binge eating was considered a disorder and not just me being "greedy".
I'm so glad I stumbled upon this group as I really need the support. I started off so well today and then something triggered in me and that was it...eat...eat..eat. I've exercised so that's one redeeming feature for today.
If I can kick the binge eating into touch then I'll be okay. Might need to sit and consider my triggers and how to combat them (not taking money to work and not keeping things in the house might be a start).0 -
I also can't recommend enough pausing when you feel a binge coming on and checking in with yourself. It is MUCH easier said than done, and, for me, at least, it has taken repeated attempts to get any sort of success with it, but when it works, it feels incredible. For example, I've discovered that I feel bingey (and sometimes act on it) before I even figure out what negative emotion is going on. It's often resentment, sometimes anger (related, I guess), or anxiety (maybe resentment combines anxiety and anger?). I use the food to stave off the emotion so that I don't even have to feel it, which is why I say I'm not even aware of what I'm feeling.
Jeebus, I really had to put my money where my mouth was last night. Bad metaphor....
Every skill I learned in counseling was put to the ultimate test, and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I even posted about it in this BED support group, hoping that writing about it in the middle of it would help (I added a trigger warning, so be aware that, while it might be helpful for some, it may be the opposite for others). It was Teh Suck, but I didn't binge, and today I am glad I didn't. My hope is that I can draw on the strength I gained from last night's battle for the inevitable next time.
Glad to see some new names and faces here (though I've only been around for a month myself). Looking forward to getting to know y'all, for better and for worse, through thick and thin.
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