BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
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I've been on MFP since Jan 6th, and this group seems to be made just for me. I've been stuffing my face and mindlessly inhaling thousands of calories every day for many, many years. Sometimes I have lost weight - started smoking once and lost 40 lbs. When I quit, I gained 60! Then I exercised for up to 2 hrs a day, and lost 50 lbs. When I quit exercising I gained 100 lbs.
Now, I think I'm ready to start looking at my eating behavior, which is something I've never done before. This is going to be a very slow process, but I'm ready. MFP is helping me to be mindful and not fog out when I eat. I'm becoming accountable to a damn website - hey, whatever works! Maybe I'll even join the binge Challenge thread next month
Thanks to all who are strong enough to be here and for helping me start this change!0 -
Hi everyone!!
I thought I would join in. Even though I have lost weight I still have binge issues. I did have one slip up this week.
My tough days on on my exercise rest days. I need to rest today or maybe tomorrow. I get scared because there are no extra exercise calories. For some reason days I move less I feel more hungry too. THAT SUCKS.
I thought I would share in case others have trouble on rest days too.
One way to deal with this is to go to a site like scooby's workshop, find your your TDEE (total calories you expend daily, counting your exercise calories), take 15-20% off that, and eat the same amount everyday, rather than just getting extra when you exercise. It seems a more balanced approach. I too get hungrier when I miss a workout, I think the exercise I do acts as an appetite suppressant and also as a sort of motivator to not binge and eat too much rubbish.
You mention books.
One of the best ones I have found, which I am currently reading, and which is a very well laid out and chunky book is 'The Compassionate Mind Approach To Beating Overeating' by Ken Goss.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Compassionate-Aproach-Beating-Overeating-Overcoming/dp/1845298772/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1360365352&sr=8-2
Should be on the USA site also.0 -
Hi everyone!!
I thought I would join in. Even though I have lost weight I still have binge issues. I did have one slip up this week.
My tough days on on my exercise rest days. I need to rest today or maybe tomorrow. I get scared because there are no extra exercise calories. For some reason days I move less I feel more hungry too. THAT SUCKS.
I thought I would share in case others have trouble on rest days too.
One way to deal with this is to go to a site like scooby's workshop, find your your TDEE (total calories you expend daily, counting your exercise calories), take 15-20% off that, and eat the same amount everyday, rather than just getting extra when you exercise. It seems a more balanced approach. I too get hungrier when I miss a workout, I think the exercise I do acts as an appetite suppressant and also as a sort of motivator to not binge and eat too much rubbish.
You mention books.
One of the best ones I have found, which I am currently reading, and which is a very well laid out and chunky book is 'The Compassionate Mind Approach To Beating Overeating' by Ken Goss.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Compassionate-Aproach-Beating-Overeating-Overcoming/dp/1845298772/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1360365352&sr=8-2
Should be on the USA site also.
Thanks!! I will check for that book too. I am willing to read anything that might help!0 -
One way to deal with this is to go to a site like scooby's workshop, find your your TDEE (total calories you expend daily, counting your exercise calories), take 15-20% off that, and eat the same amount everyday, rather than just getting extra when you exercise. It seems a more balanced approach.
I'm a fan of the TDEE minus 20% approach, too, as I like the consistency. I can't speak to the rest of Graelwyn's post as I'm not exercising yet (I'm implementing changes gradually as I think it's going to greatly increase the chances of my long-term success), but knowing that I have X amount of calories to deal with every day helps me plan and become used to eating in this way. I also aim for higher protein, which helps keep me satisfied, also staving off bingeing tendencies.
I also can't recommend enough pausing when you feel a binge coming on and checking in with yourself. It is MUCH easier said than done, and, for me, at least, it has taken repeated attempts to get any sort of success with it, but when it works, it feels incredible. For example, I've discovered that I feel bingey (and sometimes act on it) before I even figure out what negative emotion is going on. It's often resentment, sometimes anger (related, I guess), or anxiety (maybe resentment combines anxiety and anger?). I use the food to stave off the emotion so that I don't even have to feel it, which is why I say I'm not even aware of what I'm feeling.
Today is actually a good example of a bit of success (so far). I had a big stressy thing at work, and then a major disruption with a friend, and it is causing all kinds of anxiety, which is affecting my eating. I haven't binged; in fact, until about half an hour ago, I hadn't eaten much at all, which also sets me up for a binge. First thing I did when I got home from work was fix myself a protein shake with peanut butter (high protein, some added fat, a bit sweet-ish), and it's made me feel better physically and emotionally. I'll have a proper meal in a little bit, after my kid gets home, but tuning in and taking care of myself was the way to go instead of tuning out and bingeing. This is what's helping *me*, and it may not be helpful for anyone else, but I thought I'd share my experience in case it might be useful.
I am also interested in checking out the book you mentioned, Graelwyn. Thanks for suggesting it.
Hang in there, everyone. This is really hard stuff to deal with, and there's not a lot of research on BED and what the most successful treatments are, so we really need to help each other!0 -
rincoglionita I notice I am more prone to binge when I get very hungry too. I started having a small snack right away. Even if it is before lunch or dinner. it keeps me on track if I am not starving.
Yesterday was a good day!!
One of the books I requested at the library is in. YEAH. I will go pick it up today and start reading.
I also created a binge list. I loved that idea from a post here. I will look at the list and do every item on the list if I have to.0 -
Yay for good days! Thanks for sharing it, too!0
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Since Molly has encouraged us to share, share, share, I am going to share.
I have big issues. When I see others "completed their diary and were under their calorie goal", I feel major pressure to do the same and if I don't I feel like I'm bad and I also feel...gasp, I'm going to admit it...jealous. Not helpful. I don't know how to get over it and not compare myself to others. So then I feel the need to restrict more which feels like I'm on a diet and I'm slowly realizing, once again, that diets don't work (thank you Molly and others). Am I the only person that feels like this? I'm thinking, yes, probably. I know I am REALLY screwed up. But I had to share it.
Thanks for listening and not judging. I already feel bad enough for feeling the way I do so please no hating.
I feel the same perplexity. I follow ppl on Instagram also and find myself internally competing with their meals or their health... I even wonder if these ppl ever have cheat days or just a healthy relationship with food? It makes me mad and then I find myself binging! I hate it!0 -
So far the weekend has been great. I am getting there slowly.
I forogt to mention my rest days seem to be a challenge because for some reason I feel more hungry when I don't exercise. It is like exercise curbs my appetitie.
I am loving this group. I wish I had been more active before. It is helping so much!!
Happy Sunday BE peeps.0 -
Its only recently that I discovered my binge eating was considered a disorder and not just me being "greedy".
I'm so glad I stumbled upon this group as I really need the support. I started off so well today and then something triggered in me and that was it...eat...eat..eat. I've exercised so that's one redeeming feature for today.
If I can kick the binge eating into touch then I'll be okay. Might need to sit and consider my triggers and how to combat them (not taking money to work and not keeping things in the house might be a start).0 -
I also can't recommend enough pausing when you feel a binge coming on and checking in with yourself. It is MUCH easier said than done, and, for me, at least, it has taken repeated attempts to get any sort of success with it, but when it works, it feels incredible. For example, I've discovered that I feel bingey (and sometimes act on it) before I even figure out what negative emotion is going on. It's often resentment, sometimes anger (related, I guess), or anxiety (maybe resentment combines anxiety and anger?). I use the food to stave off the emotion so that I don't even have to feel it, which is why I say I'm not even aware of what I'm feeling.
Jeebus, I really had to put my money where my mouth was last night. Bad metaphor....
Every skill I learned in counseling was put to the ultimate test, and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I even posted about it in this BED support group, hoping that writing about it in the middle of it would help (I added a trigger warning, so be aware that, while it might be helpful for some, it may be the opposite for others). It was Teh Suck, but I didn't binge, and today I am glad I didn't. My hope is that I can draw on the strength I gained from last night's battle for the inevitable next time.
Glad to see some new names and faces here (though I've only been around for a month myself). Looking forward to getting to know y'all, for better and for worse, through thick and thin.
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I binged yesterday. I was ready to just give up. the scale was not moving and I was feeling sick and I just ate my feelings. I still felt bad after too.
I am looking at scooby's workshop this morning. I may ignore MFP calorie ranges and make my own for a while.0 -
I started the process of finding a therapist. I saw one 6 months ago and did not like her.
I found people that deal with eating disorders. They even have dieticians etc. I hope thise works out because I need more help. Yesterday's binge was the last straw. I am getting help. I was worried about the $ but binging could cost me so much more than kust money.0 -
Good for you, Karen! So much good in your post, despite the awfulness of the binge. You're NOT giving up, and you ARE taking care of yourself, calling in reinforcements when needed.
And that was smart to trust your gut on the first therapist. You can't force a connection because the relationship involves so much trust and intimacy. Do you know what you *are* looking for in a counselor?
Really liked reading your resolve!0 -
Good for you, Karen! So much good in your post, despite the awfulness of the binge. You're NOT giving up, and you ARE taking care of yourself, calling in reinforcements when needed.
And that was smart to trust your gut on the first therapist. You can't force a connection because the relationship involves so much trust and intimacy. Do you know what you *are* looking for in a counselor?
Really liked reading your resolve!
Thanks I am looking for experts with binge eating. I found a place that has all kinds of wonderful servies. They even have nutritionists, exercise experts and more. I asked them to find someone that fits my needs. I have body issues and food issues. The owner called me back right away! The person she chose specalizes in compulsive overeating and more.
I wanted a therapist that specalizes in eating disorders. My old one did general therapy. She did not understand where I was coming from. I may have found the right fit now. They will call me today so I can "interview them"
I hope my experience can show you should keep looking if a therapist does not "fit"0 -
Fantastic!
I really like the idea of that multifaceted approach--sounds very wholistic and supportive.0 -
Hi all,
I'm kinda new to MFP, but not to BED. I was diagnosed 4 years ago and was in counseling for 3 years and saw a nutritionist for 2 yrs. Did a stint with Prozac but that just made it all worse. My BED started when I was in recovery from anorexia (apparently that transition is very common). I'm currently only 5-10 lbs above what I was in high school, and am a size 6-8. I'd like to lose a few more pounds and just tone up a bit. But its not completely about the weight for me. I've lost 25 lbs from my highest and usually bounce around 10-15 on the spectrum each year. Its more about the emotions, guilt, self-hate, and wasted $$.
Tonight (and most Mondays lately) was a binge night. It is one of two nights a week BF isn't here, so less structure in my after work schedule. I always have the best intentions to workout before dinner, but find my mind playing games and agree to eat "just dinner" and then workout. We all know how that goes. Soon I'm over 3500 for the day and in pain. (I also have IBS so binging kills me with pain...SF stuff does too so I can't chew gum to ignore cravings). My boyfriend (of 4 yrs) knows all about my issues. He can't understand how I can't "just stop" but does everything to be accepting and supportive. We are currently house hunting and I really don't want my binging to "move in" with us.
We have a big formal party to go to in 12 days. My dress will fit and look great, and BF will tell me so. But I really want to lose the bloat I've got from the past few days. I'm going to do a modified low-carb to get out of "sugar mode" (as BF calls it) and detox. Bring on salads and lemon water! Two days usually detoxes me and I can go back to whole grains.
Looking forward to support (giving and receiving) in this journey!!0 -
Wow - only joined this group on Sunday and already feeling a bit better.
No binge yesterday after employing a few tricks (eating my lunch before I left the office at lunch time, no money in my purse and not buying chocolate when I went to the supermarket last night).
I've read this thread and just knowing other people are out there and willing to provide support is a big thing. Thank you to all of you.0 -
Hi i'm new to this group...finally trying to lose weight the healthy way. I've had an ED for about 5 years now and sometimes it leaves and sometimes it gets really bad. Having a really heavy workload this semester and I'm struggling with the stress. Trying to be positive, but i find when i'm not careful i slip back really quickly. Had a binge last night and had urges in the morning. I kindof eased them by asking myself what will happen after I binge, if it will really actually do anything. I think i get afraid of going into this downward spiral which scares me but really...food is food and its not going to jump out and attack me. its just my perception of it that makes it evil to me. i'm trying to just be more clear and calm...focus my thoughts elsewhere.0
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Good news!
Went to my Nephrologist 2/13 and found out that my kidneys have improved from Stage 3 to Stage 2. GFR 61.
Last time it was checked was 4 months ago. At that time it was GFR 38. That's really great news for me. I'm so happy.
However, my sodium level was low. I was told by my doctor not to drink so much water. Most of the time it's cut down on sodium for better blood pressure. Now, it's consume more, (or don't dilute it so much. Can't win!0 -
Good news!
Went to my Nephrologist 2/13 and found out that my kidneys have improved from Stage 3 to Stage 2. GFR 61.
Last time it was checked was 4 months ago. At that time it was GFR 38. That's really great news for me. I'm so happy.
However, my sodium level was low. I was told by my doctor not to drink so much water. Most of the time it's cut down on sodium for better blood pressure. Now, it's consume more, (or don't dilute it so much. Can't win!
Yes, i often think the whole water thing is pushed way too much here. Drink when you are thirsty. You can play havoc with electrolyte balance by drinking too much. I get 6 cups of water and a couple cups of herbal tea a day and a cappuccino, and that does me fine.0 -
Having a bad few days since I last posted (famous last words and all that!). Trying to get myself back on track.
Will have a good sit down and think what has triggered me down this last episode as I'm not sure.
I have a more "normal" week at work next week (apart from a trip to London for a meeting) so my exercise should get back on track which will help me massively I think.
Just reading a few threads here is helping.
LesterJ63 - my neurologist told me to eat more sodium a couple of years ago. I still find it hard to add extra to this day!!0 -
Good news!
Went to my Nephrologist 2/13 and found out that my kidneys have improved from Stage 3 to Stage 2. GFR 61.
Last time it was checked was 4 months ago. At that time it was GFR 38. That's really great news for me. I'm so happy.
However, my sodium level was low. I was told by my doctor not to drink so much water. Most of the time it's cut down on sodium for better blood pressure. Now, it's consume more, (or don't dilute it so much. Can't win!
YEAH, that is great news. Funny your doc said to drink less water. I hope that works out for you.
You must be doing something right!
I have had some bad days. I am looking for therapists and it has been a struggle. I have an apt for Feb 25th with someone that has dealt with eating disorders. The place I wanted to go was not on my insurance. Oh well.
My plan for now is to set a fitness goal. I do better when I focus on goals like that. (rather than the scale). Maybe work on a 10k and get a good time or improve my 5k time. I am not sure just yet.0 -
Good news!
Went to my Nephrologist 2/13 and found out that my kidneys have improved from Stage 3 to Stage 2. GFR 61.
Last time it was checked was 4 months ago. At that time it was GFR 38. That's really great news for me. I'm so happy.
However, my sodium level was low. I was told by my doctor not to drink so much water. Most of the time it's cut down on sodium for better blood pressure. Now, it's consume more, (or don't dilute it so much. Can't win!
YEAH, that is great news. Funny your doc said to drink less water. I hope that works out for you.
You must be doing something right!
I have had some bad days. I am looking for therapists and it has been a struggle. I have an apt for Feb 25th with someone that has dealt with eating disorders. The place I wanted to go was not on my insurance. Oh well.
My plan for now is to set a fitness goal. I do better when I focus on goals like that. (rather than the scale). Maybe work on a 10k and get a good time or improve my 5k time. I am not sure just yet.
Dread to think what my 5k time would be outside as i have not worked up to running outside much yet. But my fastest on a treadmill was 24.33. And think it was about 25.30 when set to a 1.0 incline which was really hard as i have emphysema.0 -
Graelwyn75
25.30 is a great time!!! My first 5k was mostly walking and it took me 50 mins. Then I got to 43 then 41 then 39:47 and yesterday was 38:06
Yesterday I jogged/ran the whole thing. I have done a 10 before so maybe I will try to improve the 10k time. Fitness goals help me. I feel like I can succede even when the scale is stuck.
I did not binge yesterday. YEAH. I have an apt with a therapist and I am going with an open mind. I hope this helps!!!0 -
Good luck Karen!! When is your appointment? You are to be commended for seeking help so you will not gain lost weight back. Good job!! Keep us posted on how it goes with therpist. Is this your 1st time seeing a therpist?Graelwyn75
25.30 is a great time!!! My first 5k was mostly walking and it took me 50 mins. Then I got to 43 then 41 then 39:47 and yesterday was 38:06
Yesterday I jogged/ran the whole thing. I have done a 10 before so maybe I will try to improve the 10k time. Fitness goals help me. I feel like I can succede even when the scale is stuck.
I did not binge yesterday. YEAH. I have an apt with a therapist and I am going with an open mind. I hope this helps!!!0 -
Thanks Mollie!
My apt is Feb 25th. I am actually excited! I have seen therapists before. The last one was not a good fit. I saw her 4 times and just quit. She did not treat eating disorders. I tried to go it alone and I know I need help.
I saw a Psychiatrist and he just gave me pills. They did help a lot though.
The whole reason I share that I am seeking therapy is to hopefully let others know it is so very helpful. There is such a stigma with therapy and I hope talking about it takes that away.
I also want people to know that if the first therapist does not fit keep trying.
I hope everyone is having a great day!!!
I am going to exercise now. YEAH0 -
So true Karen. You went 4 sessions. There have been times I know in 2 sessions if not a good fit. The thing is not to give up if you really need one.
I have ones I go back to when I really start to have a relapse.
Yes it is very useful to seek a good therpist when dealing with any eating disorder program. The program I was in in 2011 at Alexian Brothers was an excellent program for me. Thanks for support and spreading the work on therphy being beneficial.
Enjoy your workout!0 -
The whole reason I share that I am seeking therapy is to hopefully let others know it is so very helpful. There is such a stigma with therapy and I hope talking about it takes that away.
I also want people to know that if the first therapist does not fit keep trying.
Could not possibly agree with this more!! :drinker:
I've been seeing the same counselor for several years. As I may have mentioned in a different post, therapy is the best gift I can give myself. It's done wonders for my self-esteem, my ability to get to know myself, and to help with BED.
When I first started, I switched between two therapists for a short while, until I figured out that one of them was a better fit. Have not regretted it since, even when therapy is hard (which it often is).
Good luck, Karen!
poppy0 -
I agree Poppy. and yes therphy is not easy! There were many times I would binge after a tough therphy session.0
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Never had any success with therapy. Or with seeing psychologists, for that matter. I was never even sent to any specialists during my worst anorexic period when I was down to 70ibs at 5'11. The doctor simply told my parents I would be dead within 24 hours if I didn't est. maybe had I been sent to someone back then, I might have avoided decades of subsequent battles with various forms of Ed.
I am quite cynical though, which does not help. I know that therapy is big business and tend to see my issues as someone's paycheck which doesn't sit well with me. I also never liked the sense of having to talk to a stranger about my issues as it just added to the sense of being abnormal and flawed. I concluded that only I can sort myself out, in the end, and that wont happen until i find some peace with myself as a human being.0
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