BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
Replies
-
Good job on positive attitude Karen and I will be thinking of you today and sending you positive vibes for your appointment with the new therpist too!I hope everyone does not mind the multiple posts and quotes. I was being lazy making seperate posts.
I had a bad day yesterday but today is a new day!
Today is also a great day.
#1 My 15 year old son was released to normal activity, PE and sports. He broke his collar bone dec 1st. We are so excited!!!!
#2 I have my first apt with a new therapist today. I am so excited. I have plenty to discuss with him. He used to be the head of an eating disorder program. I hope he has some great ideas to help me figure out what is going on. I am even taking a notebook to take down any notes or HW he gives me.
I have decided yesterday was a binge and today is a whole different and new day. I am trying to forget yesterday and move on! At least I don't binge every day like I used to!!! (trying to focus on the positives)
0 -
Thanks Mollie!!0
-
Stopped myself mid-binge tonight. Really happy that I was able to stop. Baby steps :happy:
Hope everyone is getting through today and good vibes being sent for those who need it. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm new and just reading over this thread. You all are doing such amazing jobs!!! Keep it up!! I'm here for any of you when you need me. Friend me if you'd like. I can relate so much to the wondering if these feelings will last forever. Are we ever "cured"?0
-
Karen, report back on your therapist appointment when you're up for it. I think many of us would love to hear your impressions.
I believe that I will never have a "normal" relationship with food but that I will be able to accept that at some point and that, on balance, I can be in control of food, not the other way around. I have seen progress in myself in the last six weeks or so, progress I would never have expected before, and that is very encouraging. It is a long, hard row to hoe, though, and the process of healing is not linear by any means.
Anyone who wants to send a friend request is welcome to. Support from others with this eating disorder is so helpful, I think.0 -
helenld1, good job stopping mid-binge! That is very hard to do!
katemarcus, Welcome! I sent a friend request. I don’t know if we can get cured but we can be recovered? A recovering binge eater maybe?
rincoglionita, So great you saw progress!! I added you too as a friend. I need all the BE supporters I can get.
My therapy appointment was exhausting. Telling the doctor of my weight history and times I lost weight how I feel about food, When I binge etc. It was so much to explain. I told him when I binge I could gain weight and it might take a long time for it to come off. It feels like my body is fighting me. He agreed that it probably is. He is an expert on eating disorders and he said we will discuss set points and body fluctuations. My body seems to want to be heavier. He asked the what the smallest I was as an adult and I realized it was 185 pounds. WOW that was a shocker because my goal weight is 165 now. I also have anxiety and he agreed that the anxiety may be part of the problem. I will see him next week and get started with more therapy. The first visit is kind of like an introduction so he can get to know me. I think this might work out. I plan to go weekly for a little while and maybe every other week eventually.
In the meantime I may think about changing my anxiety medicine and possibly seeing an endocrinologist to see if my hormones are all in check. I also have some medical conditions that could cause those to go out of whack.0 -
Welcome to katemarcus!!
@karendee4, thanks for sharing about your visit to the thearpist. Keep going and it will prove to be beneficial in some way for sure. Think positively about your therphy and keep going no matter how draining it is in the beginning. Therphy is hard work but so worth the effort.0 -
Support from others with this eating disorder is so helpful, I think. Well I know it is helpful to me. Just knowing I am not alone is support in itself 0
-
Ive been trying some tactics that are helping me with my night time eating.
From like 6pm onwards after my workout is when I get the cravings.
I have a 100 calorie "treat" every night but I have it at the same time (8pm) so if I feel like binging I can tell myself to just wait till 8pm for my snack
I also suffer from some night sweat issues so I've been having a bedtime snack before I go to bed at 9pm to keep my blood sugar steady so its nice to have small planned snacks during the times where I normally want to binge.
Also as a runner its amazing the correlation between the binging voice and the giving up voice when I run. They seem to work the same and I never give out on a run yet I give out to the binge voice, now I think they are the same voice mentally I can fight it a lot better.
Sending positive vibes to those who need it 0 -
That sounds like an excellent first session, Karen. It IS exhausting to chronicle such a complicated history--good for you!
I've decided/chosen that I will go over my calorie goal today. I will log everything, and I will choose and eat mindfully, but as this is my parents' last day here and we are going to one of my favorite restaurants tonight, I will be less anxious if I know that I am not constrained to 1650 calories today. As long as I choose with awareness and log it all, I feel good about this decision.
Tsikkz, I think your observation about the "bingeing voice" and the "giving up voice" is really interesting. I'm going to think about that for a while. Thanks for sharing that.0 -
tsikkz, sounds like you have great tools to deal with binges.
rincoglionita, I tried to go over on my rest day but I did not handle it well. I will try again later (I am eating more calories than MFP recommends so I am going over on purpose on my rest day )
Thanks everyone for the support! The therapist will be very helpful. I am happy to share. I figure if I can let people know how helpful it is for me then maybe others will try it. I would like to find a BE support group too. I don’t think my therapist’s office does them but I will ask.
I exercised extra today! I did my usual cardio forgetting I was planning to shovel snow. So with the snow I burned over 1000 calories. WOW. Now I have to be careful not to over eat. Just to stop when I am Full!!!
0 -
Just thought I'd share this small nsv. Today was the first day I had off from work during the week that I did not binge eat through the cupboard! I planned and logged all of my food, cleaned the house and even did a 30 min - 2 mi Walk Away The Pounds session.
It helped me to know that we were going to Olive Garden for supper - the yummy, salty, fattening, calming food eventually would be eaten. But even then, I planned what I would eat and didn't go all 3000 cals!
I did find myself prowling the house a few times today, opening the cupboard and fridge. But, I didn't do it. It's a start!
Hope everyone is doing well!0 -
Just thought I'd share this small nsv. Today was the first day I had off from work during the week that I did not binge eat through the cupboard! I planned and logged all of my food, cleaned the house and even did a 30 min - 2 mi Walk Away The Pounds session.
It helped me to know that we were going to Olive Garden for supper - the yummy, salty, fattening, calming food eventually would be eaten. But even then, I planned what I would eat and didn't go all 3000 cals!
I did find myself prowling the house a few times today, opening the cupboard and fridge. But, I didn't do it. It's a start!
Hope everyone is doing well!
That's so awesome congrats! prelogging sure does wonders 0 -
Hello! My name is Rachel, I was here previously as 'rabetts', but I felt I needed to restart. I guess looking forward feels better without past failures haunting me. It's good to be back, feel free to add me as a friend.0
-
Just thought I'd share this small nsv. Today was the first day I had off from work during the week that I did not binge eat through the cupboard! I planned and logged all of my food, cleaned the house and even did a 30 min - 2 mi Walk Away The Pounds session.
It helped me to know that we were going to Olive Garden for supper - the yummy, salty, fattening, calming food eventually would be eaten. But even then, I planned what I would eat and didn't go all 3000 cals!
I did find myself prowling the house a few times today, opening the cupboard and fridge. But, I didn't do it. It's a start!
Hope everyone is doing well!
That's AWESOME!! You did it!! 0 -
@MadDogManor - Congrats on having a productive & healthy day!
I had some binge impulses in the morning. I ate a lot of food before it was even noon and past the point of fullness. Fortunately I managed to calm myself down and convince myself the day was not ruined... I ate light snacks at 2-3 hour intervals over the rest of the day (it's already night in my timezone) and managed to come in just under calories.
Question... right now, my calories are set high to maintenance/very slow loss since my main goal is just to stop binging. I usually come in at or just under calories. However, seeing that high number is a bit depressing; I do want to lose some weight and I know I can't really do it with such a high intake. This leads to a spiral of disordered thinking of - well, maybe I should just try to water fast for a week - am I really capable of that? - what if I fail and start binging again, etc. Does anyone have advice to counter that kind of thinking? I fear it will trigger more binging.0 -
MadDogManor, Great job on your NSV!!!
pwrlftr30, HI!!
freertobe, I am using my BMR and eating more calories and still losing. I also exercise intensly. I used Fat2fitradio.com for their BMR calculator. I seem to be losing eating a lot more! So maybe what you are doing might work? Do some research on BMR and see if that helps. I used to eat so little that I was more prone to binge. With the exercise I do I was starving myself. No wonder I would binge.
I have had some good days lately. I think more calories is working. I don’t feel deprived and I allow myself little treats. I am eating healthy/clean about most of the time and and I allow some snacks and not so healthy foods.0 -
Wow, where did everybody go??? It's cool. I just went back and re-read the whole thread and am feeling better
Ugly two days of binging. I even made my diary private today because I wasn't going to log it all unless I did...I think that might be a bad sign. I just feel like making myself tell everyone everything I ate is sort of like rubbing my face in it and I have been punished enough today
There is an element of wanting to hurt myself in my eating anyway.
So, I really don't have anything particularly inspiring to say. Just checking in with the ones who understand:flowerforyou:0 -
Wow, where did everybody go??? It's cool. I just went back and re-read the whole thread and am feeling better
Ugly two days of binging. I even made my diary private today because I wasn't going to log it all unless I did...I think that might be a bad sign. I just feel like making myself tell everyone everything I ate is sort of like rubbing my face in it and I have been punished enough today There is an element of wanting to hurt myself in my eating anyway.
So, I really don't have anything particularly inspiring to say. Just checking in with the ones who understand:flowerforyou:
So sorry! I have had a tough few days too! I don't think anyone would say anything about your diary. I know I wouldn't.
Stay strong and keep trying!
I have also had a rough couple days. 2 times we went out to eat. Thursday was the first time and I have been up on the scale ever since. My body keeps jumping back to 210 or 211 even thought I am working hard. One day of salty food and I am up for several days. It is very discouraging. I was staying off the scale but I am weighing every other day to see if that water/weight has come off and it has not yet. I also have an apt with a Endocronologist to check my hormone levels. Soemthing feels off. Since going on a medicine in May I have had a horrible time getting the weight off. I am off the medicince but the effects seem to be lingering.0 -
Hi guys, just checking in. I binged the last couple of days and also skimped on exercise. Didn't log. I finally managed to get some activity in today and reign in my eating. Sadly I think calorie counting is not doing me any favors. It just makes me focus too much on eating, when I just really need to be distracted by other things. My main goal now is to have three square meals a day with a snack or two in between, regardless of calories. That way at least I'll have a shot at putting a stop to constant binging / snacking behaviors. Maybe I'll start paying attention to calories when I've nailed down some basic eating habits.
I'm going away for a week and probably won't be able to access MFP, but I wish everyone the best of luck for the upcoming days.0 -
Hi Everyone!!
I'm having a much better day today. Need to get to bed at a reasonable hour so I don't get into trouble with that. Still have 2 veggies to eat before bed so I should be okay, ,since today I am actually eating those veggies............:ohwell:
I have the opposite problem from freertobe.....If I don't count calories, I imagine that whatever I am eating is okay. sort of magical thinking. Logging and counting keeps me in reality. I don't think about food much, either. I don't plan ahead at all. When I get hungry I just start searching for something and now I check in here to see how my calories are so far and I also plug in the food I think I want to eat to see if the calories are such that I really do want to eat it.
I feel like there are two extremes on here. One focuses too much and the other focuses too little. If I make a food plan, I never follow it. I don't follow my chore lists either. It's as if I fear planning ahead..I've made so many promises to myself about what I would or would not eat and I have failed so many times that I just don't want to try anymore.0 -
freertobe, we all have to do what works for us. If calorie counting makes it harder then you should skip it. I wish you luck
Chibea, I also tend to binge if I do not count calories! It is awful and frustrating.
I have had a bad week! I am sick and I just stopped caring. I was so frustrated that the prior week I ate so well but I gained weight (some due to water weight I am sure) I will try to exercise today and get going again. I am starting tracking my calories and will work hard to lose again. I am frustrated and confused what to do. I tried higher calories but that tends to make me want even more food. I just cannot figure things out!0 -
I completely agree. On low calories, I feel deprived, but once I up my calories, I just want more and more. It's a never ending battle.0
-
I had a success today. It is that time of month coming up and my worst binges always happen here, in the 5-7 days before. I have the whole gamut of anger, anxiety, irritability, sore boobs and bloating and my OCD is diabolical. I sort of overate before bed as I stayed up too late and got stressed by noisy neighbours coming in at 3am and throwing heavy things on the floor above me.
Today, I got up and headed out for the gym, knowing I would stop off and get some chocolate rice cakes from the health food store which is on the way. Instead I got the rice cakes, a bag of white chocolate pretzels, a seed bar and some roasted chickpeas and ate the lot while standing around in a catalogue store next to the gym, lol. I had already felt tired and maybe should have used better judgement and stayed in and relaxed, but I feel 2 rest days a week is the most I should have so I dragged myself out.
After I had eaten all those sweet foods, my mind led me down the usual path... Might as well go to the coffee shop across the road, have a sandwich and cake and a cappuccino to top it off, purge, then go home. I already felt tired, my legs felt stiff from the weight circuits, elliptical and walking the day before and I just felt like going all out and having what I wanted.
I don't know how, but I somehow managed to battle the less healthy urges, and pull myself up the stairs to the gym. It really was a pretty immense battle, even at the entry pods, I found myself hesitating and considering turning back and going to have my cake. Even in the changing room, I felt so lethargic that I was considering going back out. I felt I would never be able to complete a workout. I certainly thought I would have to go on the bikes instead of doing the HIIT running I had planned on as my belly was full.
But I went to the treadmill, got on, and did 30 minutes of high intensity interval training (16km/hr at sprints and 6.6-10km/hr on the rest bits) followed by a further 10 minutes steady state running at 12km/hr.
I still might end up over calories a bit, but the workout killed all cravings, killed my hunger and was surely a bit healthier than eating more sugar then purging.0 -
Great success story, Graelwyn!! I'm reading this, contemplating getting on the treadmill, have not wanted to exercise today at all. I had planned on getting outside into the garden, but instead had to shuttle the kids between a science fair and college today. Spent most of the day in the car.
Even tho none of my plans have worked out today, I'll still try to get on that treadmill 0 -
Great success story, Graelwyn!! I'm reading this, contemplating getting on the treadmill, have not wanted to exercise today at all. I had planned on getting outside into the garden, but instead had to shuttle the kids between a science fair and college today. Spent most of the day in the car.
Even tho none of my plans have worked out today, I'll still try to get on that treadmill
Great idea, I always feel better afterwards, even if the starting is hard, and tell myself even some is better than none in terms of exercise. Even if I just walked at an incline, it is still beneficial.0 -
Graelwyn Good job getting that workout in when you wanted to binge more. It is so hard for me to stop once I start a binge!!
kge0891, The calories are always confusing to me! I tried eating more and now I am lower. If I go too low I will feel deprived. I hope I can figure this out.
I have had a few better days. Some of the water weight from when I binged is gone so I feel more comfortable.
I also have been eating less carbs for two days. I plan to do a mini carb cycling where I do 3 days of lower carbs (low but around 150g) and the fourth day I have higher carbs and higher calories. So far it is working …. I am hoping that rotating my carbs and calorie amounts makes that stupid scale move!
0 -
Hi ! I'm new to this website. Lost 90 pounds over the course of the past 4 year, but have gained back 20 since last summer. Could use some encouragement to get back on track. I need to get back to journaling about food and exercise and emotions.
Thanks
Bonnie
Generally, we know what it is we need to do for ourselves. You've taken the first steps by realizing what it is and asking for support.0 -
Hi! I'm Diane (for those who don't know me). I need to reach out. I'm struggling....again...
So, just hi for now, and my goal is to write a lot more often :-)
Thanks for being here for me!!!0 -
Hi Diane!
It's so good to see you writing on here. We all have so much in common that I get a lot of support from this discussion page.
I am so impressed with your weight loss. You may be struggling now, but you have been doing great for a long time! I am just a few months in here, and I am already struggling a lot, so here I am looking for inspiration again
I look forward to getting to know you better!0
This discussion has been closed.