BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
IsMollyReallyHungry
Posts: 15,385 Member
How are you all doing? It is my hope you use this thread to get to know each other better and have a safe place to motivate & support one another daily. This group will be what you all make of it. So let's talk, support, share challenges, successes, and most of all share replases. We can all learn from one another. So please share, share, share. This group is what you make it so lets make it a place for all of us to get support.
One day at a time.:flowerforyou:
A nice poem for us if we think it is just now worth the effort or when the going gets tough and you want to throw in the towel. The name of the poem is:
'Don't Quit' by Jill Wolf
Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit over doubt's and questions,
For there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest,
For its just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don't quit, for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.
One day at a time.:flowerforyou:
A nice poem for us if we think it is just now worth the effort or when the going gets tough and you want to throw in the towel. The name of the poem is:
'Don't Quit' by Jill Wolf
Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit over doubt's and questions,
For there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest,
For its just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don't quit, for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.
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Replies
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Awesome thread!!
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Why dont you sticky this one and unpin the other thread?0
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"DON'T QUIT" IS OUR ONLY CHANCE. WE WILL BEAT THIS THING.0
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I sent a request to founder this morning to do just this. I am not a moderator for this group so I do not have the ability to do this.Why dont you sticky this one and unpin the other thread?0 -
I sent a request to founder this morning to do just this. I am not a moderator for this group so I do not have the ability to do this.Why dont you sticky this one and unpin the other thread?
Mollie, thanks for all you do for this group.
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Hi ! I'm new to this website. Lost 90 pounds over the course of the past 4 year, but have gained back 20 since last summer. Could use some encouragement to get back on track. I need to get back to journaling about food and exercise and emotions.
Thanks
Bonnie0 -
I sent a request to founder this morning to do just this. I am not a moderator for this group so I do not have the ability to do this.Why dont you sticky this one and unpin the other thread?
Mollie, thanks for all you do for this group.
Yes, Thank you Mollie!!!! Also, welcome Bonnie!0 -
Love the poem! Thanks for the motivation, i definitely needed that!0
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Looks like a fantastic idea to me, I had the worst 4 months of my eating life before december, now I'm 19 days without a binge but still tempted all the time lol! Best of luck to everyone and I look forward to sharing with you all0
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Welcome Bonnie and TallandSkinny! :happy:0
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Since Molly has encouraged us to share, share, share, I am going to share.
I have big issues. When I see others "completed their diary and were under their calorie goal", I feel major pressure to do the same and if I don't I feel like I'm bad and I also feel...gasp, I'm going to admit it...jealous. Not helpful. I don't know how to get over it and not compare myself to others. So then I feel the need to restrict more which feels like I'm on a diet and I'm slowly realizing, once again, that diets don't work (thank you Molly and others). Am I the only person that feels like this? I'm thinking, yes, probably. I know I am REALLY screwed up. But I had to share it.
Thanks for listening and not judging. I already feel bad enough for feeling the way I do so please no hating.0 -
Since Molly has encouraged us to share, share, share, I am going to share.
I have big issues. When I see others "completed their diary and were under their calorie goal", I feel major pressure to do the same and if I don't I feel like I'm bad and I also feel...gasp, I'm going to admit it...jealous. Not helpful. I don't know how to get over it and not compare myself to others. So then I feel the need to restrict more which feels like I'm on a diet and I'm slowly realizing, once again, that diets don't work (thank you Molly and others). Am I the only person that feels like this? I'm thinking, yes, probably. I know I am REALLY screwed up. But I had to share it.
Thanks for listening and not judging. I already feel bad enough for feeling the way I do so please no hating.
I experience exactly the same, and it doesn't help that I have several eating less than 1200, and one of those often eating less than 900-1000 calories a day. I don't bother clicking to finish this entry as I don't want people to see what a pig I am. I have had a bad run since getting home after xmas, with a few good days in between. I think it is trying to get back into a normal routine and a bit of the blues from xmas being over with. The only good thing is I got myself a slow cooker so I can make stews and things from scratch, which I am. But my weight is going to be awful, it was already a shock to step on the scale on the 22nd December, after months away from it, I have so much to lose now to get to a point I am comfy at.
Last few days, I must have stuffed down 6000-7000 calories, due to eating things like muffins, chocolate and cake.
Hoping to get myself back on track tomorrow, hoping, hoping.0 -
Restriction and diets does bred binges. You may want to think about adjusting your calories to 1 pounds loss or less. I know 1200 is definitely not good for us as bingers. Some do it successfully.Since Molly has encouraged us to share, share, share, I am going to share.
I have big issues. When I see others "completed their diary and were under their calorie goal", I feel major pressure to do the same and if I don't I feel like I'm bad and I also feel...gasp, I'm going to admit it...jealous. Not helpful. I don't know how to get over it and not compare myself to others. So then I feel the need to restrict more which feels like I'm on a diet and I'm slowly realizing, once again, that diets don't work (thank you Molly and others). Am I the only person that feels like this? I'm thinking, yes, probably. I know I am REALLY screwed up. But I had to share it.
Thanks for listening and not judging. I already feel bad enough for feeling the way I do so please no hating.0 -
Restriction and diets does bred binges. You may want to think about adjusting your calories to 1 pounds loss or less. I know 1200 is definitely not good for us as bingers. Some do it successfully.Since Molly has encouraged us to share, share, share, I am going to share.
I have big issues. When I see others "completed their diary and were under their calorie goal", I feel major pressure to do the same and if I don't I feel like I'm bad and I also feel...gasp, I'm going to admit it...jealous. Not helpful. I don't know how to get over it and not compare myself to others. So then I feel the need to restrict more which feels like I'm on a diet and I'm slowly realizing, once again, that diets don't work (thank you Molly and others). Am I the only person that feels like this? I'm thinking, yes, probably. I know I am REALLY screwed up. But I had to share it.
Thanks for listening and not judging. I already feel bad enough for feeling the way I do so please no hating.
Thanks ladies. MFP gives me 1200 until I set it to maintenance. So I have mine manually set at 1350, plus I eat exercise calories. I still question whether it's the right amount, even with the TDEE equation.
I'm going to turn around my thinking and use my MFP friends as inspiration. I will believe that I can do it too, instead of feeling jealous and insecure and afraid I'll never compare.
I am so grateful for all of you!0 -
Have a good week everyone!!0
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Hello everyone out there! My name is Amelia and I just joined this group. I hope I can make some friends and find some help. Three years ago I struggled from anorexia nevrosa and I just started to get better a half year ago. But my eating habits are totally went insane and sometimes I have really huge binges what make my life horrible. Like literally. I just want a normal life again without any shame and... without this weird relationship with this whole eating-thing. 0
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Please don't feel as though you need to *not* enter something, or quit because you don't want to log everything. I totally get that feeling too, and I think what helped the most for me was realizing that it doesn't matter how I stack up against someone else - at the end of the day, it's my struggle. And MFP is a tool to better help me see and understand my struggle. Am I totally embarrassed that I've binged on junk food three days in a row? YUP. Did I enter it anyway? I'm proud to say that I did. And it made me cry. But, I think it's really important, for me, at least, to be honest and accountable to myself - and hopefully start to recognize patterns of behavior. Good luck 0
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When I see others "completed their diary and were under their calorie goal", I feel major pressure to do the same and if I don't I feel like I'm bad and I also feel...gasp, I'm going to admit it...jealous. Not helpful. I don't know how to get over it and not compare myself to others. So then I feel the need to restrict more which feels like I'm on a diet and I'm slowly realizing, once again, that diets don't work (thank you Molly and others). Am I the only person that feels like this? I'm thinking, yes, probably. I know I am REALLY screwed up. But I had to share it.
Thanks for listening and not judging. I already feel bad enough for feeling the way I do so please no hating.
YOU ARE IN GOOD COMPANY BEING "REALLY SCREWED UP". MANY OF US ARE EQUALLY SCREWED UP. THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE.
THE ONLY COMPETITION IS WITH YOURSELF. YOU ARE THE ONE TO BE ACCOUNTABLE TO. WE CHEER EACH OTHER ON IN VIVTORIES AND WE COMFORT EACH OTHER AS WE STRUGGLE. THERE IS NO SHAME IN OUR STRUGGLE.
WE MAY HAVE SETBACKS LARGE AND SMALL, BUT THIS IS NORMAL FOR ANYONE TRYING TO GO FROM DYSFUNCTIONAL BEHAVIOR TO HEALTHFUL BEHAVIOR. ITS OK TO CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK AS YOU PICK YOURSELF UP ANDGET BACK ON YOUR PROGRAM. WE WILL BE DOWN AT TIMES BUT IF WE KEEP AT IT WE MAKE PROGRESS.0 -
What’s Holding You Back from Reaching Your Goals?
“A vote of confidence.”
Are you someone who quietly sets out to reach her goals or are you someone who tells the world exactly what you’re up to, loud and clear?
Either way, it’s great. You’re focusing on a new life ahead. But if you tend toward being the quieter type, why not take some time today to tell at least one person how proud you are of yourself for making this commitment to reach a valued goal?
There’s got to be one person with whom you could share your journey. A coworker? A neighbor? A friend?
So, speak up! Tell someone about it. Make your effort even more real by hearing yourself talk about it out loud. It will solidify your commitment that much more, and could just be the vote of confidence you need!
©Jane Powell – Meditations for Women
Today’s Affirmation: I share my goals with others.0 -
Well said! Thanks!Please don't feel as though you need to *not* enter something, or quit because you don't want to log everything. I totally get that feeling too, and I think what helped the most for me was realizing that it doesn't matter how I stack up against someone else - at the end of the day, it's my struggle. And MFP is a tool to better help me see and understand my struggle. Am I totally embarrassed that I've binged on junk food three days in a row? YUP. Did I enter it anyway? I'm proud to say that I did. And it made me cry. But, I think it's really important, for me, at least, to be honest and accountable to myself - and hopefully start to recognize patterns of behavior. Good luck0 -
Hi, all. Just finishing my fourth day with MFP. Over thirty five years of binge eating under my belt, and I'm so tired of it. I started MFP on a whim (weird, huh?), but I'm actually enjoying the structure of it and have tried to be completely honest in recording what I eat. I had a very bingey November and December and early January, and then for some reason last week I decided to "experiment" with taking some control back.
Anyway, I'm glad to see that there's a support group for binge eaters, and I look forward to getting to know y'all.0 -
Well said! Thanks!Please don't feel as though you need to *not* enter something, or quit because you don't want to log everything. I totally get that feeling too, and I think what helped the most for me was realizing that it doesn't matter how I stack up against someone else - at the end of the day, it's my struggle. And MFP is a tool to better help me see and understand my struggle. Am I totally embarrassed that I've binged on junk food three days in a row? YUP. Did I enter it anyway? I'm proud to say that I did. And it made me cry. But, I think it's really important, for me, at least, to be honest and accountable to myself - and hopefully start to recognize patterns of behavior. Good luck
Thanks for that. I'm fairly new to the site but have a long history of bingeing. I'll kick it for 6 months but it always comes back. Happened today really for the first time since December. I hate myself for it, and don't want to log it and having all the enthusiastic well-meaning friends saying things like "tomorrow's another day!"
Yeah well it is, and it's damn hard. Sorry to sound so negative but I am just pulling myself out of a big, big hole and slipped. Will be happy to support all of you, so if you'd like add me.
The plan for the rest of the day is just relax. Let my body rest. "Tomorrow's another day."0 -
I hide food that is just for me. I used to buy cans of frosting and place them in the bottom of the fridge "just so" that way my husband couldn't see them in there. I knew he would eat it if he saw it! I finally stopped eating the frosting because I discovered the trans fat on the label. I still do this but with other food. I may have a box of snack cakes, or a bag of candy, a couple of pounds of cherries, or what have you. If he finds what I was reserving for my self and eats any I feel so angry! The more he eats of it the angrier I feel. I never say anything, but I usually shoot him the stink eye behind his back! I don't do this all the time, but I will do it at least once a month. At times I may stash several items. I like to wait until he is in the other room to have my way with the pantry.0
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Since Molly has encouraged us to share, share, share, I am going to share.
I have big issues. When I see others "completed their diary and were under their calorie goal", I feel major pressure to do the same and if I don't I feel like I'm bad and I also feel...gasp, I'm going to admit it...jealous. Not helpful. I don't know how to get over it and not compare myself to others. So then I feel the need to restrict more which feels like I'm on a diet and I'm slowly realizing, once again, that diets don't work (thank you Molly and others). Am I the only person that feels like this? I'm thinking, yes, probably. I know I am REALLY screwed up. But I had to share it.
Thanks for listening and not judging. I already feel bad enough for feeling the way I do so please no hating.
Yes, I feel that way. Seeing all my other friends completing their diaries and being on target, while I can't even go a whole week staying within my goal and avoiding red days.
I'm not judging, I understand exactly what you mean! I try to eat 1,600 - 1,700 / day but when I see other lower numbers it triggers me to want to "do better"... and lower calorie goals. I just need to not compare to others... it does nothing to help me0 -
http://www.worldofnlp.com/nlp-techniques-binge-eating/
This is kind of nasty... but seems like a helpful way to combat binges. Think of the binge, think of something disgusting, think of the binge again... etc....
Here’s the technique!
*Categorize the type of food you binge eat. For instance, it could be fast food, snack food, chocolates, etc.
There is usually a situation or context where such binge eating takes place. For instance, you might snack whenever you watch TV but not really anywhere else. Or you might binge eat snack foods after meals. You have to identify the context where you get the feeling of wanting to binge eat.
* Picture the context in your mind. During this time, notice the full-sensory experience of binge eating. Notice what you see, hear and feel, especially after that food goes down your stomach.
* Clear your mind.
*Now imagine something that is totally and absolutely disgusting for you. For instance, it might be the garbage dump or decaying meat. Smell and taste this foul thing in your mouth (this may take some getting used to) and notice how you feel like wanting to throw up.
* Clear your mind again.
* Go back to #3. Picture your favorite food again and imagine yourself eating it like the first time, noticing the level of pleasure your experience, but this time, on the next time you taste that food, notice how you chew or bite into it and it opens up the sensation of something absolute foul-tasting, as in #5.
* Do this about 4-7 times (if you feel really sick the first time around, you can go to the next step).
*Clear your mind.
*Test by imagining your binge-eating-food in your mind. Does it bring back the same desire? By this stage, you would have successfully disconnected the automatic behavior of binge eating.0 -
Where to start? I’ve been bingeing for close to 10 years now. 10 years of fighting this addiction, 10 years of hating myself for it, 10 years of hiding food, 10 years of cancelling plans to stay home and eat, 10 years of making myself sick (I have a fairly serious digestive disease which means that for me bingeing has side more side effects than shame and weight gain.. binges for me typically result in high fevers, agonizing stomach pain, incessant bathroom trips, and I’ve even triggered a flare of my disease resulting in hospitalization solely from bingeing.. and yet I won’t stop.. makes perfect sense, right?). But I will not let this continue for another year. I expect 2013 is going to be a really big (and really great) year for me. I just switched jobs and I’m so excited for my new job and the fact that it’s going to allow me more of a work-life balance (previous job was very demanding and I worked in excess of 65 hours most weeks). I recently discovered running and I can’t say enough about the positive effects this new hobby has had on my life (I ran my first half marathon on 1/13/13 and it was the best day of my life!). I plan to run a second half marathon this spring and then either a full marathon (eek!) or a third half in the fall. And finally, I am very convinced that 2013 is the year my boyfriend is going to propose (he does not know about my binge eating and I cannot marry him and continue to hide this). And so I’m also going to make 2013 the year I conquer this addiction.
I welcome any and all thoughts and suggestions as this is the first time I’ve really admitted to anyone about these struggles and also the first time I’ve really made a good faith effort to stop.0 -
Long "chat" with myself last evening - hand is till cramped from all the stream-of-consciousness writing. The upshot of which is this:
It may be about hunger, but it's NEVER about food.0 -
Hi everyone!!
I thought I would join in. Even though I have lost weight I still have binge issues. I did have one slip up this week.
My tough days on on my exercise rest days. I need to rest today or maybe tomorrow. I get scared because there are no extra exercise calories. For some reason days I move less I feel more hungry too. THAT SUCKS.
I thought I would share in case others have trouble on rest days too.0 -
Hey, all. My username is Rincoglionita (it's a not-so-nice Italian word that means "crazy"), but you can call me Poppy, as all my online friends do. I've been struggling with binge eating disorder for over 30 years and finally feel I'm at a place where I can start to take control of my food intake again. I know it's not a linear process, and though I've been binge-free for the four weeks I've been MFPing, I know that can change at any time. I've found that logging my food here and getting support from friends (both here and IRL) and my therapist makes a world of difference. I know that I feel so much better about myself since I've been logging what I eat, and that sense of control feels AMAZING!
Instead of "cluttering up" the February Binge Challenge with discussions, I thought I'd try to engage people here, while continuing to record my progress in the Binge Challenge there.
Karendee4, congratulations on your amazing success with weight deletion AND your fight with binge eating! It seems that learning to have a healthy relationship with food is the hardest part of this process. That's kind of what I was afraid of when I joined MFP 4 weeks ago, but I do feel much better prepared to deal with it now than I have before. Ever.
Your journaling conclusion is very thought-provoking, Nadinebl. I would add that, for me, it IS in many ways about food because that's been my coping mechanism for 30+ years and now I have to find a different way to cope AND find a way to make peace with food. I totally agree that the "hunger" for food during a binge has little to do with actual hunger, though. Have you found writing to be helpful for you?
How are you doing, AshleyOlivia? It can be so overwhelming at the beginning of acknowledging and fighting BED.
Looking forward to chatting about whatever comes up....0 -
Thanks rincoglionita!
I had a bad day yesterday. I usually exercise hard the next day and eat less to combat the binge. Today not going to do that! Punishing myself like that can just lead to another binge!!
I ordered a few books from my library off the suggested book list. Hopefully I can read up on my binge eating and figure this out. I also signed up for a course on BE.
I think part of it is how close I am to 100's. I was 205 on my old scale. I got a new one and it said 208 yeasterday. I was so sad. Now today is says 210 due to my binge. Maybe salt etc.
Getting on the scale daily usually helps me. However this week it did not. It put me furter away from onederland. I know in my mind I did not gain because of a new scale but it was a hard # to see!0
This discussion has been closed.