Why am I so turned off by an educated woman?
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I actually still legitimately believe that Mike is looking for a weak, needy woman to assert himself over and knows that it isn't very common in people who think enough of themselves to pursue higher education.
I do hope Mike isn't that type...that he's just looking for a different type of "look" and more of a party spirit than you'll often find in a stereotypical PhD. It takes all kinds to make a world.
No, he has specifically stated that he wants a woman who is dependent on him to get by. The second part about not finding that in educated women is conjecture on my part.0 -
Just kidding ladies :flowerforyou: , but in reality most guys are still a bit old fashioned and care less about education and more about the other stuff.
I don't have a problem if having an education unimportant. I am baffled that there are actually guys that specifically DO NOT WANT women to have college degrees because they find it unattractive. There are a lot of very smart people that didn't get that piece of paper and it's not a requirement of mine as long as they are working in a field they love, have a stable job and can support themselves. So to take something that should either be a positive or a non-issue and then go completely the opposite... it's so foreign.
I agree 100%!
And Janie, definitely preconceived notion of what that person will be like based on their education.0 -
I have to agree with this too. In my experience in dating educated women or women that made more money than me, they always thought they were the s**t because of how educated they were or how much money they made, when in reality I couldn't care less about it. How about you educate yourself to make me a friggin sammich?I think Mike wins this thread, solely based on the fact that you gals could not handle having your education insulted.... IMO the "how dare you, I'm an educated women" attitude is why he and all the guys that agreed were turned off in the first place.
Spot on Poncho
Just kidding ladies :flowerforyou: , but in reality most guys are still a bit old fashioned and care less about education and more about the other stuff.
Career accomplishments don't matter to most men, in terms of attractiveness. Having a job that is secure and doesn't require too many hours (time away from us) is usually more of a turn on.0 -
yes and no...do you think it's the education that really turns men off? Or is it the preconceived notion that if a woman has an education she must be a certain (i.e. boring, nagging, never happy) type?
- yes for guys who already have self-esteem issues.
- yes, IMO, as i stated before depending on your geographic location and cultural background. so if you come from a culture or area that doesn't value education, then obviously if you do have above average education you're going to stick out.
- this is going to make me sound like an a*hole for realz... yes if your education is also related to having above average intelligence simply because you will see things a bit differently than others and odds are you will be able to put patterns together much quicker than others. having a quicker wit and being able to think quicker than most people means that you have to explain yourself A LOT to others because whereas you might be able to easily do the mental processes to get from point a to point e, other people might need to stop at points b,c,d . that could definitely be a turn off to most people, especially men, if they realize that their partner is several steps ahead of them.
no because sometimes educated people in general can come off as smug a*holes. i say that as an educated person, i know that i can sometimes, oftentimes, come off as a smug know it all and i'm OK with that because sometimes that actually is the vibe i'm trying to get across.
what i dont understand is how some of you seriously arent able to objectively look at yourselves and think that perhaps you can come off the same way as well:laugh: the "hmmm?? moi??" .
i'm not a man but in recent history my guy friends mostly tend to be presently surprised when they learn my full career/education. at the moment i work in localization industry and there's always a discussion about languages i've studied and speak since the assumption is that i'm a translator (which i'm not). since it's no longer relevant in my current position, i rarely ever mention that my real background is in math and science. now that i live in SF area, it seems that guys get even more excited when they find out that i love math and physicsMen, have you ever had an amazing fun date and then been surprised later when you found out her career or education?0 -
Do you keep checking their profiles like Mike has said she is doing once you have poofed?
She sounds like a flake then. Most likely one of those people drawn to Psychology because of her own issues.
Better? I thought you were pretty keen on her (ie. she was good enough by your criteria) until she shared her education level with you. Did I miss something? What is better in this case? Simply that she doesn't have a higher degree than you?**Update**
Well, Ms. PhD poofed on me. She hasn't e-mailed me in 3 days. Oddly enough, she's been mirin' my online profile. She's checked it out 3 times this past weekend.
Anyway, I know I can do much better, so it's all good. I think we both dodged a bullet here.
She hasn't emailed in 3 days - after you asked her a question? If not... have you been emailing her in that time without a response? Otherwise, it could be that she thinks the ball is in your court if she's still looking at your profile.
Nope, the ball is definitely in her court. She told me about her PhD in Psychology and I asked her a few questions about it and what she wants to do with her degree. No response after that.
She's a flake because she poofed after 2-3 emails to some stranger? Damn. I am a massive flake. Hell, there are some guys I don't even bother to respond to.0 -
Do you keep checking their profiles like Mike has said she is doing once you have poofed?
She sounds like a flake then. Most likely one of those people drawn to Psychology because of her own issues.
Better? I thought you were pretty keen on her (ie. she was good enough by your criteria) until she shared her education level with you. Did I miss something? What is better in this case? Simply that she doesn't have a higher degree than you?**Update**
Well, Ms. PhD poofed on me. She hasn't e-mailed me in 3 days. Oddly enough, she's been mirin' my online profile. She's checked it out 3 times this past weekend.
Anyway, I know I can do much better, so it's all good. I think we both dodged a bullet here.
She hasn't emailed in 3 days - after you asked her a question? If not... have you been emailing her in that time without a response? Otherwise, it could be that she thinks the ball is in your court if she's still looking at your profile.
Nope, the ball is definitely in her court. She told me about her PhD in Psychology and I asked her a few questions about it and what she wants to do with her degree. No response after that.
She's a flake because she poofed after 2-3 emails to some stranger? Damn. I am a massive flake. Hell, there are some guys I don't even bother to respond to.
Maybe, if there's something that I want to show someone else, or if I'm double checking for a funny blog post about it. Why does that matter?0 -
I'm glad Jezebel agrees with me!0 -
I get this in a way. For me its less education and more straight out intellegence. I don't handle it well if a men isn't as smart a I am. I don't like feeling like I have to dumb myself down0 -
I get this in a way. For me its less education and more straight out intellegence. I don't handle it well if a men isn't as smart a I am. I don't like feeling like I have to dumb myself down
Just like I don't want to feel like I am not smart enough to keep up. I think level of intellegence needs to be on level with eachother.0 -
I'm glad Jezebel agrees with me!
The general rule of thumb is that women aim to mate upwards. When you see a woman who is accomplished professionally and has an MBA/JD/PhD or other Master's level degrees, it is difficult to mate upwards from there in terms of the woman feeling satisfied with the relationship.0 -
The general rule of thumb is that women aim to mate upwards. When you see a woman who is accomplished professionally and has an MBA/JD/PhD or other Master's level degrees, it is difficult to mate upwards from there in terms of the woman feeling satisfied with the relationship.
I can't access the article, but it's interesting you say this because amongst my professional friends it's the *man* not the *woman* who becomes dissatisfied with the relationship. She is enjoying him an what he brings to the table, but he can't get over the need to prove himself because she's more educated or has a more impressive career. He's holding himself to a standard she honestly doesn't care about.0 -
The general rule of thumb is that women aim to mate upwards. When you see a woman who is accomplished professionally and has an MBA/JD/PhD or other Master's level degrees, it is difficult to mate upwards from there in terms of the woman feeling satisfied with the relationship.
I can't access the article, but it's interesting you say this because amongst my professional friends it's the *man* not the *woman* who becomes dissatisfied with the relationship. She is enjoying him an what he brings to the table, but he can't get over the need to prove himself because she's more educated or has a more impressive career. He's holding himself to a standard she honestly doesn't care about.
Why do you think the man doesn't want to be a part of the relationship? I think it is because he knows she won't be happy, so why should he bother? It is better to allocate scarce resources (time is one scarce resource) to a woman he thinks he can keep happy.
Men take their cues from women.0 -
The general rule of thumb is that women aim to mate upwards. When you see a woman who is accomplished professionally and has an MBA/JD/PhD or other Master's level degrees, it is difficult to mate upwards from there in terms of the woman feeling satisfied with the relationship.
I can't access the article, but it's interesting you say this because amongst my professional friends it's the *man* not the *woman* who becomes dissatisfied with the relationship. She is enjoying him an what he brings to the table, but he can't get over the need to prove himself because she's more educated or has a more impressive career. He's holding himself to a standard she honestly doesn't care about.
Why do you think the man doesn't want to be a part of the relationship? I think it is because he knows she won't be happy, so why should he bother? It is better to allocate scarce resources (time is one scarce resource) to a woman he thinks he can keep happy.
Men take their cues from women.
I have to agree with Janie. This thread already went through this topic in circles and it seems as though one of the resounding points is that men get insecure when they are less intelligent, have a lesser degree, or earn less than a woman. Women want to find someone to love and who loves them back. Any woman worth her weight in salt does not care what the guy does for a living or how many degrees he has. Perhaps the precious "top tier" does, but then isn't that an indication you are dealing with the wrong women, ones who are only out for material gain maybe?0 -
Women want to find someone to love and who loves them back. Any woman worth her weight in salt does not care what the guy does for a living or how many degrees he has.
That's a sweet arrangement. I have never been intimidated by any educational level or occupation of any woman. Bad attitudes, which occur in any occupation/education level, are what turns me off.
I desire to love for who they are, and I want someone to love me for who I am.0 -
I can't access the article, but it's interesting you say this because amongst my professional friends it's the *man* not the *woman* who becomes dissatisfied with the relationship. She is enjoying him an what he brings to the table, but he can't get over the need to prove himself because she's more educated or has a more impressive career. He's holding himself to a standard she honestly doesn't care about.
Why do you think the man doesn't want to be a part of the relationship? I think it is because he knows she won't be happy, so why should he bother? It is better to allocate scarce resources (time is one scarce resource) to a woman he thinks he can keep happy.
Men take their cues from women.
I think the men THINK he can't make her happy when in fact he very well can. I've had men it didn't work out with tell me up front that they're not good enough for me, that I need someone higher class, someone who can make more money.
One of my friends I was really crushing on was such a great guy I didn't care that he made little money. All I cared about was that he was a strong godly man, was very good with my son, was very handy to help me with stuff I needed done around the house and (most importantly) he always seemed to be there to calm me down when stuff went crazy. Who cares about money when you can have someone in your life like THAT???
One of our mutual friends kept telling me to ask him out, that he had told the gang at the dojo that I was super hot and amazing and he really wanted to go out with me but he didn't think I would date someone as low earning as him. I didn't because we already spent a lot of time together (couple nights a week) with our group and he knew my views on the men making the move. It worked out, because I met BB, but there's always a twinge of sadness when I think about how guys miss out when they pre-suppose or assume they know what a woman wants without realizing he may just actually BE what she wants.0 -
but there's always a twinge of sadness when I think about how guys miss out when they pre-suppose or assume they know what a woman wants without realizing he may just actually BE what she wants.
Totally agreee. Men have a lot of insecurities when it comes to higher earning and better educated women. If only they knew that we dont care about such drivel. Dont get me wrong, no woman wants to carry her man, or struggle to communicate. But if he is self sufficient and socially intelligent then it's low on my list of priorities.
MInd you, women WITH money and education don't care. Women without both can see it as a priority in a man! To the realms of 'gold digging'.........:noway:0 -
Lol....we can't tell you what your issues are.
What if I say please?
Please psycho-analyze me
so this thread has gotten way too long for me to catch up....but Mike I think you are just insecure.
you need to feel like you are in control, you need to feel like you are superior, and you just cannot stand the thought of a woman having a higher education, higher pay, or higher level of respect (in your eyes).
THATS A BIG TURNOFF!0 -
Perhaps you're gay?? :bigsmile:
As entertaining as this is, I'm pretty sure Mike is the least gayest man on earth. He wants petite, bubbly, cute, fake boobs and long hair.
Thanks for the laugh though, Anna!
Mike... so you need to shop for your wimmins in strip clubs, duh!!!-
Sorry - edited because that is just the impression I get from you. Don't know you, haven't read all the posts... but you seem really threatened by a gal that is smart. And educated. And makes enough money for yourself. And yes I know the word "AND" isn't the proper way to begin a sentence - because I'm edumacated. You don't want the tables even. You want them leaning on your end because you want a girl that will never leave you. Hmm. Why is that? Again, that's just what I've seen with what you have said here...0 -
The general rule of thumb is that women aim to mate upwards. When you see a woman who is accomplished professionally and has an MBA/JD/PhD or other Master's level degrees, it is difficult to mate upwards from there in terms of the woman feeling satisfied with the relationship.
I can't access the article, but it's interesting you say this because amongst my professional friends it's the *man* not the *woman* who becomes dissatisfied with the relationship. She is enjoying him an what he brings to the table, but he can't get over the need to prove himself because she's more educated or has a more impressive career. He's holding himself to a standard she honestly doesn't care about.
Why do you think the man doesn't want to be a part of the relationship? I think it is because he knows she won't be happy, so why should he bother? It is better to allocate scarce resources (time is one scarce resource) to a woman he thinks he can keep happy.
Men take their cues from women.
No they don't. What, are you saying men are puppets now? Wow. LOL!
Geez, dude, I used to like the stuff you posted. This past week you have completely changed my mind!
Men follow wherever their "blood flow" points and leads them..... if it leads them to a educated woman... boom. If it leads them to a woman that doesn't threaten their individual masculinity... boom. If it leads them to a woman that makes a lot of money and they are using women for money.... boom. Lots of men don't care if their women are happy.....
BOOM!0 -
Lol....we can't tell you what your issues are.
What if I say please?
Please psycho-analyze me
so this thread has gotten way too long for me to catch up....but Mike I think you are just insecure.
you need to feel like you are in control, you need to feel like you are superior, and you just cannot stand the thought of a woman having a higher education, higher pay, or higher level of respect (in your eyes).
THATS A BIG TURNOFF!
That is exactly it.0 -
I didn't read the whole thread... just a comment from me:
I LOVE dating smart women. Degree or not. Raw intelligence, or trained intelligence. I crave exploring the world of thought with a woman...
So freaking hot to switch gears from sharing ideas in the abstract world to sharing deep soul grunting in the primal world. That contrast is freaking awesome, When it works, it resonates and sings like running a violin bow across a glass crystal.0 -
I didn't read the whole thread... just a comment from me:
I LOVE dating smart women. Degree or not. Raw intelligence, or trained intelligence. I crave exploring the world of thought with a woman...
So freaking hot to switch gears from sharing ideas in the abstract world to sharing deep soul grunting in the primal world. That contrast is freaking awesome, When it works, it resonates and sings like running a violin bow across a glass crystal.
you are a smart and confident man mauryr! THAT'S ATTRACTIVE!0
