BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
Replies
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Thanks everyone for the support. Just knowing I have found some help makes eating easier. I feel like there is hope!
Graelwyn75 sorry you had such a bad experience. I think finding the right person is so very hard,0 -
Thank you very much Mollie for the invite to this support group. I have been reluctant in the past to admit I have a binge eating problem. I tend to think of it more as "overeating", but it is disordered.... I am also fearful of being judge even by binge eaters because I do not always consume record amounts of calories in one sitting, but I do become overfull/sick and my reasons for eating that much are emotional/stress related. I don't feel like a fit in anywhere. I hope I can be accepted here.
My BF wants me to also see a therapist, not because of the over eating, but the reasons behind it. I am so terrified of having to go through the mental exhaustion of seeking out a good fit in a Therapist, because it may make my issues worse.0 -
I'm embarrassed to say that I'm writing almost immediately after a binge. I didn't even feel bad about it because I had my period to blame and decided that was a good enought excuse to eat my day's calories at my lunch hour. I'm guessing normal people don't do this. I was doing pretty too. went to two celebrations over the weekend and ate normally and didn't hide anything. My bad behavior always happens in secret.0
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Welcome!:flowerforyou:Thank you very much Mollie for the invite to this support group. I have been reluctant in the past to admit I have a binge eating problem. I tend to think of it more as "overeating", but it is disordered.... I am also fearful of being judge even by binge eaters because I do not always consume record amounts of calories in one sitting, but I do become overfull/sick and my reasons for eating that much are emotional/stress related. I don't feel like a fit in anywhere. I hope I can be accepted here.
My BF wants me to also see a therapist, not because of the over eating, but the reasons behind it. I am so terrified of having to go through the mental exhaustion of seeking out a good fit in a Therapist, because it may make my issues worse.
I highly recommend you give therphy a try. In most cases very helpful and worth the search too. CA has some good therpist for ED's. They even have out patient programs too that are very intense. I did this in 2011 and the best thing I ever did for myself even though I gained weight. The thing is in the beginning you will have more urges because getting the stuff out will cause you to do what you know to do. Binge. But as you continue to get to the root and get things off your chest you will get better and your therpist will help you to find other ways to deal with life and the past. Needing help is nothing to be ashamed of and you will feel so much better. If you have insurance they will help pay for the sessions. Google, dialectical behavior therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, eating disorders in CA, etc.
Keep us posted and remember you are not alone no matter what you decide. You are young and you can beat this or get help on controlling it.0 -
I'm embarrassed to say that I'm writing almost immediately after a binge.
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My bad behavior always happens in secret.
The embarrassment and secret eating are almost always part of BED. So much shame involved in binge eating. In the 6 or 7 weeks I've been binge-free, that's the part I am most happy about--no feelings of shame because of loss of control. One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to lose the shame.0 -
After having a terrible weekend I have had a few reasonably calm days. I've identified a few trigger situations which has helped (but one trigger is a friend at work so that's going to be hard to combat).
One day at a time. It doesn't get easier but somehow you just get through it.
Thanks for just being there as a group for me to read and post these seemingly silly "mini victory" things.
Out for a coffee with a friend tonight so that will be a test.0 -
Really, I just overeat. This last time I was able to go an entire week though - and tonight I was just barely over -full. I think that is an accomplishment. I know that part of my issue right now is extreme boredom with my job. Even my husband agrees that I am bored out of my mind there. Yet I am very reluctant to look for another job(even with in the same company). Yet I think changing roles would be VERY helpful to me.
The past couple of weeks I have also been suffering from a sore throat/cough. You'd think that would be enough for me to not want extra food?!?! but no, I think "wonder if this would taste good".....ugh...That little negative voice....I want it to shut up! I want the positive voice to come back and say "You feel like a million bucks!"
So, again I start a new week! There was a time when I use to just eat a couple cups of oatmeal a day and be full/satisfied. Then the pendulum swings the other way.... I miss that control.... I wonder if that's good or bad.
I enjoy reading your posts.0 -
I had a rough time after Valentine's Day... sugar really sets me off,,,clarify that..a lot of sugar at one time sets me off. Slowly, but surely I got back to healthy eating this week.
If I can binge and get myself back to healthy eating within a week, I consider that a victory. In the past it has been more like binge for a day, overeat for a week, binge for a day, overeat for a week, etc, etc....no healthy days in there anywhere.
I gained 3 pounds this week from that binge period and I am okay with that - another victory:drinker:
I don't like it, of course, but I am seeing the long term picture these days and it's keeping me more sane around food.
Glad to be out of the 'food fog' and eating my veggies again
Persistence is everything.0 -
I had a small binge last night. Might have been just over eating. I see a pattern. I got on the scale in the morning and it was up a pound. I thought I could handle getting on the scale daily but maybe I can't!
I have a goal to stay off the scale for one week. Then I will see what happens.
Day 1 i have not gotten on the scale.0 -
I had a rough time after Valentine's Day... sugar really sets me off,,,clarify that..a lot of sugar at one time sets me off. Slowly, but surely I got back to healthy eating this week.
If I can binge and get myself back to healthy eating within a week, I consider that a victory. In the past it has been more like binge for a day, overeat for a week, binge for a day, overeat for a week, etc, etc....no healthy days in there anywhere.
I gained 3 pounds this week from that binge period and I am okay with that - another victory:drinker:
I don't like it, of course, but I am seeing the long term picture these days and it's keeping me more sane around food.
Glad to be out of the 'food fog' and eating my veggies again
Persistence is everything.
You sound exactly like me. I get the same issue if I overeat sugar, the same effort to drag myself back, so I have to really work to limit my refined sugar. I almost bought home 2 bags of reduced valentine chocolate hearts today but threw them away before I got home as I knew it could be an issue. Sure, I could have offset the 1200 odd calories given I exercise most days, but I would have ruined days of really healthy eating. So, I came home with just a small lindt lindor egg instead. I tend to go for big bags of things for some reason, as if I find security and happiness in larger quantities. Easter is a nightmare with all the large bags of mini filled eggs around. I bought masses last year, I remember, stuck them in the freezer, and still binged on them. My worst binges happen when I have a lot of wheat/sugar based things. Chocolate alone doesn't trigger me quite as badly.0 -
I had a small binge last night. Might have been just over eating. I see a pattern. I got on the scale in the morning and it was up a pound. I thought I could handle getting on the scale daily but maybe I can't!
I have a goal to stay off the scale for one week. Then I will see what happens.
Day 1 i have not gotten on the scale.
I find the scale really triggering, regardless of the number, to be honest.
I have not dared go near it in over a week now, after my last run of binges.
And before that I had got it down to a once every week or two thing anyway, from checking daily.0 -
Too much water like anything else is not good. It is my opinion from what I have read if you are eating fruits and veggies which have water you should not be drinking more than 8 to 12 cups a day unless sweating a lot or it is very hot etc.Good news!
Went to my Nephrologist 2/13 and found out that my kidneys have improved from Stage 3 to Stage 2. GFR 61.
Last time it was checked was 4 months ago. At that time it was GFR 38. That's really great news for me. I'm so happy.
However, my sodium level was low. I was told by my doctor not to drink so much water. Most of the time it's cut down on sodium for better blood pressure. Now, it's consume more, (or don't dilute it so much. Can't win!
Yes, i often think the whole water thing is pushed way too much here. Drink when you are thirsty. You can play havoc with electrolyte balance by drinking too much. I get 6 cups of water and a couple cups of herbal tea a day and a cappuccino, and that does me fine.0 -
Too much water like anything else is not good. It is my opinion from what I have read if you are eating fruits and veggies which have water you should not be drinking more than 8 to 12 cups a day unless sweating a lot or it is very hot etc.Good news!
Went to my Nephrologist 2/13 and found out that my kidneys have improved from Stage 3 to Stage 2. GFR 61.
Last time it was checked was 4 months ago. At that time it was GFR 38. That's really great news for me. I'm so happy.
However, my sodium level was low. I was told by my doctor not to drink so much water. Most of the time it's cut down on sodium for better blood pressure. Now, it's consume more, (or don't dilute it so much. Can't win!
Yes, i often think the whole water thing is pushed way too much here. Drink when you are thirsty. You can play havoc with electrolyte balance by drinking too much. I get 6 cups of water and a couple cups of herbal tea a day and a cappuccino, and that does me fine.
I tend to get in 6 alongside a herbal tea, a hot chocolate and a normal cup of tea and just getting in that much is hard as I rarely experience thirst.0 -
I had a small binge last night. Might have been just over eating. I see a pattern. I got on the scale in the morning and it was up a pound. I thought I could handle getting on the scale daily but maybe I can't!
I have a goal to stay off the scale for one week. Then I will see what happens.
Day 1 i have not gotten on the scale.
I find the scale really triggering, regardless of the number, to be honest.
I have not dared go near it in over a week now, after my last run of binges.
And before that I had got it down to a once every week or two thing anyway, from checking daily.
I am going to try to stay off the scale for a while. It is hard because it was my daily routine to jump on the scale. I thought I was handling it well but I was wrong. I got on it this morning out of habit and it was frustrating because I am still up a little on the scale. I know I feel a little bloated so that is why. But that # does bother me still.
Maybe my goal for the week will be to stay off the scale!0 -
I had a small binge last night. Might have been just over eating. I see a pattern. I got on the scale in the morning and it was up a pound. I thought I could handle getting on the scale daily but maybe I can't!
I have a goal to stay off the scale for one week. Then I will see what happens.
Day 1 i have not gotten on the scale.
I find the scale really triggering, regardless of the number, to be honest.
I have not dared go near it in over a week now, after my last run of binges.
And before that I had got it down to a once every week or two thing anyway, from checking daily.
I am going to try to stay off the scale for a while. It is hard because it was my daily routine to jump on the scale. I thought I was handling it well but I was wrong. I got on it this morning out of habit and it was frustrating because I am still up a little on the scale. I know I feel a little bloated so that is why. But that # does bother me still.
Maybe my goal for the week will be to stay off the scale!
I suggest you take the batteries out and throw them away. The scale is not a reflection of your fat levels, your health or your fitness and in the end, what positive is it giving you? That manmade number, and this manmade idea of having to be a specific number, has the potential to steal away a day of your life each time you get on that machine, and that is a day you cannot get back again.0 -
Hi everyone, I'm reposting my introduction here, hoping to find some kindred spirits. I'm a female in my mid-twenties with a binging problem which has become much worse recently. I often feel sad and broken and don't know where to turn. I know this is connected to some recent stressors (looking for a new job while dealing with questions of partner's relocation, IBS health problems which make me very angry / frustrated with my body). These issues often give me a feeling of worthlessness and lack of control over my body. Subsequently, I punish myself with food... eating until my body feels as awful as my mental / emotional state.
Over the past couple of years, there have also been months when I've restricted and overexercised, whittling myself to a low and unsustainable weight, which I'm sure is connected to the binging problems I have now. I'm constantly looking to regain a sense of control over my eating, which I know causes me to panic and binge. I've read a lot of advice on how to address this issue, including Geneen Roth's Women Food and God. I've tried everything from logging my food to intuitive eating to making lists of distractions to motivational quotes to read ... but when I get the urge to binge, I honestly *forget* to consult these tools! My brain enters a daze, with my hands mechanically shoving food in my mouth. It's only minutes after the binge, when I'm coming out of the daze with feelings of intense guilt, self-hatred, physical discomfort, etc. that I think - oh right - I should've read those things / done that first!
At this point, the only thing I *haven't* tried is talking to somebody about it and being 100% honest about the problem that I have. Nobody knows about it, as I tend to binge when my partner is out of the apartment. Again, I don't discuss it with friends since they think I'm just stressing over a non-existent weight problem. Sure, I would love to shed the pounds that I've gained as a result of binging, but my greater goal is just to enjoy a meal with occasional snacks, without freaking out and binging in secret.
I'm sorry for the long post, but I wonder if anyone wants to be MFP friends offering ideas and mutual support. Looking forward to getting better along with everybody else.0 -
Graelwyn75, you make some good points!! I will be seeing my new therapist tomorrow and the scale addiction is definitely something I will bring up!! I can always work hard for a month then get a nice surprise when I get on the scale.
freertobe, Talking is the hard part. I am seeing a therapist tomorrow. I am hoping it helps me deal with this BE issue. So glad you are here.
Tomorrow I see my therapist. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I also have upped my calories since I have also upped my exercise each week. I am trying this new eating more to lose idea. I hope it works. So far it seems to be working.
I am ready for February to be over. We get paid Feb 28th then I can go do a nice big grocery trip and have more healthy options in the house!0 -
Hello!!
I successfully lost 20lbs using MFP, but my binging problem is really putting a dent in that. I would say i've been binging about 1-4 times a week since December 2012, and I just can't seem to control it anymore!!
I've starting looking into tools as well...so far i've used a food-mood diary and journaling. i'm trying to come up with a list of things I can do instead of binging (i.e-have a cup of tea, take a warm bath) however just like freertobe i seem to forget them when the urge to binge takes over. I think i'm going to print up the list and keep it on hand!!
any other tricks or tips?!
Please feel free to friend me!0 -
karendee - Good luck with your therapy session tomorrow. I've never seen one myself, but from what I've heard, it seems like a good therapist can be a huge, huge help in the battle against disordered eating. That said, it sounds like you are having success with your eating and exercise right now. I hope that continues to be the case!
Jarvis - That's a flipping adorable dress, and I love your bangs! I think I'm going to do what you suggested - keep a list on hand / in my pocket at all times and a "food-mood" journal... brilliant! 0 -
Anyone here right now? Im having major cravings and I know its not hunger would love someone to talk to..
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Just sitting here I know I am full but my mind trys to make up every excuse it can to make me eat and I know if I start I won't be able to stop.
I hate feeling so powerless over this voice in my head, I can physically feel my stomach is full, and I just finished eating lunch, but I chose a trigger food (rasin bran) to eat for lunch because it was something easy which was a really bad idea because now I want nothing more than to eat a second bowl0 -
Anyone here right now? Im having major cravings and I know its not hunger would love someone to talk to..
You hanging in there?0 -
I guess that I thought once I reached my goal weight I wouldn't have this voice but I still do and its kind of discouraging.. I wonder if it will ever go away..0
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Hi tsikkz. I'm here. Stay strong! You have made such *amazing* progress. I just checked out your profile and pictures, and you look absolutely stunning. I love your sense of fashion and your hair! Is it really a shade of purple? So jealous.
Do you have anything planned for the afternoon? Maybe you can make your Oscar picks, if you're looking for a way to distract yourself. Or read silly celebrity gossip. Or online window shop. 0 -
I guess that I thought once I reached my goal weight I wouldn't have this voice but I still do and its kind of discouraging.. I wonder if it will ever go away..
I think the battle will always be there. I think sometimes that fighting so hard against food, makes the binging issues worse, you might hold out on that second bowl of cereal and end up binging worse later. Sometimes, in fact, often, even people who have never been overweight, eat something extra for pleasure, even if not hungry. It is good to bear that in mind. That said, I have some carrots or an apple or some cheese when the urge to binge hits, but I tend to binge very severely when I binge, on piles of chocolate, cake, doughnuts and the like. Even entire boxes of cereal as well. Sit is best in future, to find something to do that requires full attention, and if you still want that bowl of cereal after half an hour, allow yourself to have it.0 -
Thanks guys, I do feel much better.
I cant explain my binge urges but its not hunger related at all, it doesn't even pretend to be hunger. Its almost a primal urge that comes from a different part of my brain.
Before anyone replied here I ate a bowl of frozen vegetables (carrot peas beans corn) and that didnt really help because like I said its not a hunger thing.. I then busied myself and talked to a friend on here for about an hour.
I think I felt restless because today is my rest day so I went to the gym and burned 340 calories and got a Mc flurry which isn't a binge trigger for me but a treat, and I got some more miles in for my marathon training so it wasn't all bad.
I'm an emotional binge eater and things have been really tough for me lately but I'm glad I at least earned the mcflurry before I ate it. and yes I know its not healthy to "earn" foods that are bad for you but just running really helped me mentally de-stress.
I'm just glad I can now differentiate between that voice and my true hunger. I do wish there was a way to get rid of it completely though.
Edit: thank you so much for the compliments! Its John Freida cherry brown foam hair color which has been my color since it came out like 3 years ago lol It looks reddy purple in light and brown in the dark I love it!0 -
I guess that I thought once I reached my goal weight I wouldn't have this voice but I still do and its kind of discouraging.. I wonder if it will ever go away..
So glad you came here for help!!! I am worried that voice will never go away myself. Maybe we can make it quieter after time?0 -
Thanks guys, I do feel much better.
I cant explain my binge urges but its not hunger related at all, it doesn't even pretend to be hunger. Its almost a primal urge that comes from a different part of my brain.
Before anyone replied here I ate a bowl of frozen vegetables (carrot peas beans corn) and that didnt really help because like I said its not a hunger thing.. I then busied myself and talked to a friend on here for about an hour.
I think I felt restless because today is my rest day so I went to the gym and burned 340 calories and got a Mc flurry which isn't a binge trigger for me but a treat, and I got some more miles in for my marathon training so it wasn't all bad.
I'm an emotional binge eater and things have been really tough for me lately but I'm glad I at least earned the mcflurry before I ate it. and yes I know its not healthy to "earn" foods that are bad for you but just running really helped me mentally de-stress.
I'm just glad I can now differentiate between that voice and my true hunger. I do wish there was a way to get rid of it completely though.
Edit: thank you so much for the compliments! Its John Freida cherry brown foam hair color which has been my color since it came out like 3 years ago lol It looks reddy purple in light and brown in the dark I love it!
I can relate!!! I don't eat out of hunger when I binge. Something happens on my rest days and I get bored. Yesterday it happned. boredom and emotions and I binged BAD. HANG in there!!
I LOVE John frieda foam hair color! I keep switching my color though.0 -
Hi everyone, I'm reposting my introduction here, hoping to find some kindred spirits. I'm a female in my mid-twenties with a binging problem which has become much worse recently. I often feel sad and broken and don't know where to turn. I know this is connected to some recent stressors (looking for a new job while dealing with questions of partner's relocation, IBS health problems which make me very angry / frustrated with my body). These issues often give me a feeling of worthlessness and lack of control over my body. Subsequently, I punish myself with food... eating until my body feels as awful as my mental / emotional state.
Over the past couple of years, there have also been months when I've restricted and overexercised, whittling myself to a low and unsustainable weight, which I'm sure is connected to the binging problems I have now. I'm constantly looking to regain a sense of control over my eating, which I know causes me to panic and binge. I've read a lot of advice on how to address this issue, including Geneen Roth's Women Food and God. I've tried everything from logging my food to intuitive eating to making lists of distractions to motivational quotes to read ... but when I get the urge to binge, I honestly *forget* to consult these tools! My brain enters a daze, with my hands mechanically shoving food in my mouth. It's only minutes after the binge, when I'm coming out of the daze with feelings of intense guilt, self-hatred, physical discomfort, etc. that I think - oh right - I should've read those things / done that first!
At this point, the only thing I *haven't* tried is talking to somebody about it and being 100% honest about the problem that I have. Nobody knows about it, as I tend to binge when my partner is out of the apartment. Again, I don't discuss it with friends since they think I'm just stressing over a non-existent weight problem. Sure, I would love to shed the pounds that I've gained as a result of binging, but my greater goal is just to enjoy a meal with occasional snacks, without freaking out and binging in secret.
I'm sorry for the long post, but I wonder if anyone wants to be MFP friends offering ideas and mutual support. Looking forward to getting better along with everybody else.
Welcome, I am new to this group but find it very helpful.
I tend to over exercise too. I am trying to break that cycle. I can relate. When I was on another Weightloss site I did it more. Since being on MFP and seeing my exercise calories added in I do it less.
I just had enough recently and searched for a therapist. It was hard to find someone on my insurance. I was so frustrated. Today is my first apt with a therapist that used to run a eating disorder clinic. I think you have to be ready to get therapy and have to find the right person.
I sent you a friend request too!0 -
I hope everyone does not mind the multiple posts and quotes. I was being lazy making seperate posts.
I had a bad day yesterday but today is a new day!
Today is also a great day.
#1 My 15 year old son was released to normal activity, PE and sports. He broke his collar bone dec 1st. We are so excited!!!!
#2 I have my first apt with a new therapist today. I am so excited. I have plenty to discuss with him. He used to be the head of an eating disorder program. I hope he has some great ideas to help me figure out what is going on. I am even taking a notebook to take down any notes or HW he gives me.
I have decided yesterday was a binge and today is a whole different and new day. I am trying to forget yesterday and move on! At least I don't binge every day like I used to!!! (trying to focus on the positives)
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