BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
Replies
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Hi. I'm new here. I've never posted anywhere before because frankly, I never thought it'd do me much good. I'm a loner and don't talk to/hang out with many people. I especially don't talk to many people about this. I've been binge/overeating for about 7 years and it's been particularly bad the past few months. I've always managed to stay at a relatively low weight but I've gained 15 lbs since December and feel worse than ever. I overeat pretty much every day and it has taken over my life. I go to therapy but nothing has been enough to help significantly. I don't know how to eat like a normal person and I feel gross. I need help.0
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Welcome summer and november, I hope you find the support and advice you need here. You might want to read through some of the old topics in the group, as some of those go into ways of avoiding binges, and some very useful tools you can use.0
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Hi everyone. I'm new to this group. Been using MFP on and off for a year. I've been trying to find a support group for even longer than that......having had much luck. I'm in a really "dark" place right now emotionally.....
Don't want to live some days.....never succeed at anything....need help.
Your post really touched me. Please know you more than the ugly, nasty things that you tell yourself. You are a special and you can succeed at this, even if you just start with tiny goals. Know I'm thinking and praying for you. I believe in you.0 -
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Hi Carly,I am also going to try the '50 Day Binge Free Challenge'.
Has anyone had any experience of any of the above? Citalopram, sticking to 3 meals and no snacking or the challenge?
Don't worry if not, I just wanted to say hi.
Carly
Good luck on the 50 day challenge. I am very leery of these type of challenges because they tend to be all or nothing thinking and black and white and they promote being perfect and as bingers that is one of our issues.
It has taken me years to realize I do not have to be perfect to be successful and so what if you binge one, two or three days of the challenge does that me you have failed? Most certainly not. So people join them and then they feel like failures the 1st day they binge. Just something to think about. If you can join it and not feel like a failure if you don't get your 50 days then go for it. But sometimes this particular type of challenge set you up to actually binge.
Looking at the overall picture is better and that is why I like the monthly challenge in this group because we are not promoting that you be perfect. We are promoting mindfulness and just attempting to have less days of binging. So you are just competing with yourself and not trying to be perfect. This is just my opinion and please no I am no authority and this is just a recommendation. Here is the link: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/909099-march-challenge-me-vs-the-binge
For me I know weekends are times I struggle the most with binges so I work hard to just have one day over the weekend where I don't binge and if I get 2 or 3 I am good but I don't set unrealistic goals so I don't beat myself up if I don't succeed. Really I don't beat myself up at all anymore because it is not productive and what I have learned to call stinking thinking. But it has taken me years to get to this stage. Working on our thinking is more important than us trying to be perfect. If we work on our minds and hearts then we will reach the mindfulness we need to conquer binging or at least manage it better. I am not sure we will ever be binge free like the alcoholic but we can always try and I know some have did it and maybe one day I will be one of those person.....But if I am not I am not going to sweat it at all. I will always remember the below quote and when I do feel down about this problem meditating on my journey overall it helps me put things in perspective.
"I May Not Be Where I Want To Be, but I’m Not Where I Use To Be!"
Mollie, thanks for writing this. I really saw a lot of myself in what you said. I signed up for the 50 day challenge, but knew in my heart that it didn't sound like a good idea. I am definitely an all or nothing type--and I hate it. When I am good I am very very good... and well, you know the rest.
Weekends are really rough for me too. Thank you for saying that it's ok to not be perfect. It's something I need to take to heart.0 -
Hi Carly,I am also going to try the '50 Day Binge Free Challenge'.
Has anyone had any experience of any of the above? Citalopram, sticking to 3 meals and no snacking or the challenge?
Don't worry if not, I just wanted to say hi.
Carly
Good luck on the 50 day challenge. I am very leery of these type of challenges because they tend to be all or nothing thinking and black and white and they promote being perfect and as bingers that is one of our issues.
It has taken me years to realize I do not have to be perfect to be successful and so what if you binge one, two or three days of the challenge does that me you have failed? Most certainly not. So people join them and then they feel like failures the 1st day they binge. Just something to think about. If you can join it and not feel like a failure if you don't get your 50 days then go for it. But sometimes this particular type of challenge set you up to actually binge.
Looking at the overall picture is better and that is why I like the monthly challenge in this group because we are not promoting that you be perfect. We are promoting mindfulness and just attempting to have less days of binging. So you are just competing with yourself and not trying to be perfect. This is just my opinion and please no I am no authority and this is just a recommendation. Here is the link: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/909099-march-challenge-me-vs-the-binge
For me I know weekends are times I struggle the most with binges so I work hard to just have one day over the weekend where I don't binge and if I get 2 or 3 I am good but I don't set unrealistic goals so I don't beat myself up if I don't succeed. Really I don't beat myself up at all anymore because it is not productive and what I have learned to call stinking thinking. But it has taken me years to get to this stage. Working on our thinking is more important than us trying to be perfect. If we work on our minds and hearts then we will reach the mindfulness we need to conquer binging or at least manage it better. I am not sure we will ever be binge free like the alcoholic but we can always try and I know some have did it and maybe one day I will be one of those person.....But if I am not I am not going to sweat it at all. I will always remember the below quote and when I do feel down about this problem meditating on my journey overall it helps me put things in perspective.
"I May Not Be Where I Want To Be, but I’m Not Where I Use To Be!"
Mollie, thanks for writing this. I really saw a lot of myself in what you said. I signed up for the 50 day challenge, but knew in my heart that it didn't sound like a good idea. I am definitely an all or nothing type--and I hate it. When I am good I am very very good... and well, you know the rest.
Weekends are really rough for me too. Thank you for saying that it's ok to not be perfect. It's something I need to take to heart.
All or nothing person here too, in almost all aspects of my life. It is a real pain sometimes to be a person of such extremes.0 -
I am more than a little disappointed with my start to April, I just finished a challenge I set for myself and did not binge for the last 10 days of March and felt great completing it. Unfortunately even with that challenge completed, I have only lost one pound so far which for me is not too thrilling (i get discouraged easily) and with final exams starting this week I think the stress just wore me down and I have binged the past two days
. I find that my biggest challenge once i start binging is to try and get out of the mindset because for me it just leads to a downward spiral of binging, feeling disgusted at myself for binging, then binging some more because I feel awful (in the past i have had binges that last for days). This morning I have just been telling myself that today is a new day and I am going to challenge myself to be binge free for the rest of the week, but I know this will be a huge challenge for me with so much stress from exams coming up! 0 -
Well I am at the car place now fighting the urge to get something at the vending machine. I have my strawberries with but I still am soooo tempted to get something from that machine and i don't even want to go that way. That is why i brought an apple and strawberry. 2 of my favorite fruits but I still have the urge to go to vending machine and my day has been great so far. So I decided to come here and hopefully they will come soon so I can leave here!
Have a good weekend and get out and MOVE IT and stay busy so you can have a binge free weekend!! PLAN, PLAN, PLAN Believe me I know it is hard but I know we can do it!!
The weather here in Chicago is supposed to be awesome! :flowerforyou:0 -
I moved my workouts from 5pm to 7pm so that I get home at around 8:30 then in bed at 9pm
This way I'm working out when my binge urges usually hit. Its working well so far, wanted to share maybe it can help you guys too 0 -
Thanks for sharing. I have another friend this working for and it worked for me too when I was younger but now if I wait until the evening to workout it will not get done so I have to find another way. On Friday evenings I workout sometimes and I never binge when I workout in evenings for sure because I am not going to blow a hard workout.
I find working out anytime of day helps me with binges also.0 -
Well I am at the car place now fighting the urge to get something at the vending machine. I have my strawberries with but I still am soooo tempted to get something from that machine and i don't even want to go that way. That is why i brought an apple and strawberry. 2 of my favorite fruits but I still have the urge to go to vending machine and my day has been great so far. So I decided to come here and hopefully they will come soon so I can leave here!
Have a good weekend and get out and MOVE IT and stay busy so you can have a binge free weekend!! PLAN, PLAN, PLAN Believe me I know it is hard but I know we can do it!!
The weather here in Chicago is supposed to be awesome! :flowerforyou:
Hope you fought it off Mollie!! Either way, great strategy to write about it first, and give yourself a little more time to really think about your decision!0 -
Graelwyn75 I get rigid with myself too.I even go overboard with exercise till I am almost miserable. I am planning a treat everyday and I feel less deprived now.
Welcome to Summer and November! So glad you found this team. If you need a friend feel free to add me. Just put Binge Eat or something like that in the message
BoJenks my start to april was horrible!! I binged the first few days. I am so mad at myself but I am moving on and trying to forgive myself.
Mollie How did the vending Machine go? I feel that way at Walgreens when I have to pick something up. They have so much junk there!
tsikkz, good plan!!!
April was a bad start for me. I had many doctor visits and was so frustrated. I have a high level of Insulin Growth Hormone in my blood. This could be making the weightloss harder. Darn. It can also mean surgery if I have a tumor on my pituitary. I was very tired and sleepy and not getting enough rest. When I am tired my food choices get so HARD!
I am back fighting again trying to stay on track.0 -
I moved my workouts from 5pm to 7pm so that I get home at around 8:30 then in bed at 9pm
This way I'm working out when my binge urges usually hit. Its working well so far, wanted to share maybe it can help you guys too
Thanks for sharing. I workout in the evenings too and it definitely helps curb the urge. The more exhausted I am the better! My binge time during weekdays usually begins at 9:00 so if I'm in bed at that time that's okay with me. I'd rather go to bed early than binge.0 -
Going to bed early does help sometimes.
Today I binged. SO stupid of me!! I weighed myself and gained 2 pounds since last monday. I am in a challenge and hate the friggin scale. I do better without it!!
Wed is my therapy session if we don't start tackling my binge issues I am going to be upset. I need help.0 -
...hate the friggin scale. I do better without it!!
Me too!0 -
I caved but still was in green after all said and done only one item and no binge, so it was good for me for sure.
Mollie How did the vending Machine go? I feel that way at Walgreens when I have to pick something up. They have so much junk there!0 -
Mollie, that is great!!! One item is much better than a binge. I think "normal" people have the same problem. (whatever normal is, maybe I sould say non-binge eaters)
Today is a fresh start. I requested some more books from my library. I think reading about binge eating can help me some. I love to read and have the time now with Substitute teaching as my job.
I plan to have a lower amount of carbs again. Most days under 190g. I think I do better with that #. It seems the more carbs I eat the worse off I am.
I also made my food diary private and logged every bite from yesterday. I binged and went 900 calories over my daily amount. YIKES. That was an eye opener. With non-binge eaters on my friends list it was hard for me to be honest. If all of you were my only friends I would feel comfortable with each of you seeing my diary because you know what binging is like.
I think many dieters use the term binge loosely. We all know what a real binge is. Some people call a small slip up a binge. I know a binge is much more than that for me.0 -
Hi All, my name is Candice, and I am a binge eater...
I just came off a seven week diet (fairly successful),and binged for 4 days. weighed myself and I am up 5 pounds. I wasn't going to weigh, but that is what I did in the past and the pounds I took off all crept back on, so I will weigh regularly - just trying something different.
The fact that I had an 'end date' to my 'diet' definitely triggered me. Then one binge -day leads to another (I will eat it all tonight and start again tomorrow). Well, I saw this happen to me 2 years ago, I un-did all my hard work in one month. Gonna do something different this time...like realizing I have disordered eating.
I have people tell me 'why don't you just'.... I feel like they don't get it. They don't understand the compulsion. Yesterday I was in the store, to pick up some healthy stuff, got compulsive while walking around (it had been three days, what's one more, right?) I picked up three items I had not planned on buying and headed for a fourth. I successfully talked myself out of it, and took the items back to where I got them - only to run out to the store again late last night for a box of pasta - cooked the whole thing (cause I didn't want any left over sitting in the house today), and shoveled it into my mouth starting with the uncooked pasta in spoonfuls. Did I feel bad? yes and no - I'm not a terrible person, I just need some balance.
I can see my all-or-nothing mindset glaring at me - and my 'f**k it' attitude that let's me go nuts when I feel the urge. I am either way over here, or way over there.
So, I am going to look up some books, get some insight, see if the self-help route works. I know that support groups are really important, so here I am. Telling it like it is, to people who will 'get it'.
I hope to be there for others too.0 -
Benge eating is a crazy disorder. I have done it as long back as I can remember, no people in my life do not seem to understand the urges and how they take you over. Reading your post was like reading my own mind. Yes, you binged for three days, but that does not mean your journey to a healthy body is over. Now all you can do is pick yourself up, start over, and say today is a knew day. I wish the best for you and all you are trying to do. WE CAN DO THIS........0
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Right on sister!
Keep putting one foot in front of the other 0 -
Hey there , see below, I am just figuring this thread out0
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I'm new, and I'm really scared. I've been getting progressively worse with my bingeing over the past 6 months. To the point where it's 1-2x a week and 4000+ calorie days. I don't know what to do or how to control my impulses and I'm really scared.
Hey there buddy,
Don't panic - calm down...don't get caught up in over-thinking about the food, or the calories. I am just a beginner to this group, but I know the panic can lead to under eating to compensate - all or nothing thinking, etc, which is the roller coaster we need to get off of. I just had 4 close to 4000 calorie days I was not brave enough to count. But, I think maybe you should get your mind on something else. I am going to start looking more at my activity and see if that helps, try to make my behaviors more consistent and balanced. One thing I do that helps is going shopping...I often take everything I bought back, but it provides some fun, activity, and a feeling of 'getting something' ,only you CAN take it back later, unlike a binge.0 -
I am more than a little disappointed with my start to April, I just finished a challenge I set for myself and did not binge for the last 10 days of March and felt great completing it. Unfortunately even with that challenge completed, I have only lost one pound so far which for me is not too thrilling (i get discouraged easily) and with final exams starting this week I think the stress just wore me down and I have binged the past two days . I find that my biggest challenge once i start binging is to try and get out of the mindset because for me it just leads to a downward spiral of binging, feeling disgusted at myself for binging, then binging some more because I feel awful (in the past i have had binges that last for days). This morning I have just been telling myself that today is a new day and I am going to challenge myself to be binge free for the rest of the week, but I know this will be a huge challenge for me with so much stress from exams coming up!
Hey BoJenks! I hear you! I have exams next week AND I am starting a new job...
I didn't know there was a Binge Free day challenge! I like the sound of that except.... I have a feeling day 51 is binge day. I know that my 'end date' triggered me, I love the idea of the challenge though 0 -
Sounds good Kate!My goal is to allow myself a meal I might normally not have, if I feel the urge to binge creeping up, as having a less than stellar meal, would be better than ending up in an all out binge. Also want to try and ensure I get to the gym 5 days a week at least, and lose 2-3 Ibs minimum this month. Also trying to keep refined sugar foods to one day a week, no more.
That sounds really smart, I think it is important too, to practice healthy behaviors by having something different without letting it become a binge, after all that's what we want to move towards right? I think it would be good practice for self control.0 -
Hi Twistedheart and Candycane!
I've not been a part of the group for long, but it has really helped me tremendously. Just knowing you are not alone or that you aren't the only failure out there that can't have a normal relationship with food is great. We aren't failures at all and we are not alone.
I'd start the challenge today just to be accountable to yourself. Feeling the success of making it through one day without a binge is awesome...and if you do binge you can look forward to maybe logging a win tomorrow. It's really helped me with my all or nothing mentality.
Heather 0 -
Hello to everyone struggling with this disease here. I really do think its a disease; a disease that has not been talked up in the news, Some people without the disease find it hard to understand, just like I might find it difficult to understand how asthmatics or people with COPD feel ( luckily I can breathe easily, unlike these folks ). That's just an example. I wish the people around me understood how I feel towards something as "simple" as food. "Just don't eat it" means absolutely nothing to me. "Here, try this bite" can lead to days worth of binging. I don't like being scared of food. I'm really trying to log accurately and be aware of the amount of food I'm eating, and lately I've begun obsessing about food even more. I'm always hungry now, and always thinking about eating. I'm trying to get more protein, but I'm not a big meat eater. I'm trying to fill up on veggies and water, but come on, lets be real - i love junky processed food! It's taken me 40- something years to develop these horrible eating habits, and it will take more than a few months of change to undo the damage. I do like to pre log my food when possible, because it seems to take away the uncertainty of "what is there to eat", which leads me to prowl the kitchen in search of food, any food. I don't really know the point of this post, I just needed to vent and whine a bit, I guess. Thanks for reading :-)0
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These recent posts have inspired another motivational rant of mine..
I've accepted the fact that I will struggle with food/body image for the rest of my life. But honestly, telling myself that this is an uncontrollable mental disorder has done nothing but give me an excuse to give in to my cravings.
This thread gets so damn depressing sometimes, to the point where I think anyone mid binge who stumbled upon it would walk away feeling helpless and out of control, rather than giving them the support and empowerment to overcome it. Yes, I am guilty of making such posts here myself, this is simply an observation.
This past week I had some massive realizations about myself, my body and my fitness. Look at my picture. This whole time that has been under the clothes worn by this quiet, self-loathing girl who hates how weak and powerless she feels when it comes to eating. I looked in the mirror and I for once didn't hate what I saw. I never even realized how fit and toned I have become because this whole time I have been living in the depressed state of acceptance for my BED. It feels so weird I never saw myself for how I really was, Its like someone suddenly flipped a switch in my brain.
The point I'm making is, once you realize that BED doesn't define you, any success you have made you made with BED all along, so why would you let it sabotage you now?
This acceptance is so toxic to progress. Yes we all have painful emotional attachments to food, but telling yourself that you are powerless and weak in these situations will do just that.
You are strong. You have come so far. You will NOT let BED define you.
and most importantly, you are a Lion! RAWR!0 -
Hello to everyone struggling with this disease here. I really do think its a disease; a disease that has not been talked up in the news, Some people without the disease find it hard to understand, just like I might find it difficult to understand how asthmatics or people with COPD feel ( luckily I can breathe easily, unlike these folks ). That's just an example. I wish the people around me understood how I feel towards something as "simple" as food. "Just don't eat it" means absolutely nothing to me. "Here, try this bite" can lead to days worth of binging. I don't like being scared of food. I'm really trying to log accurately and be aware of the amount of food I'm eating, and lately I've begun obsessing about food even more. I'm always hungry now, and always thinking about eating. I'm trying to get more protein, but I'm not a big meat eater. I'm trying to fill up on veggies and water, but come on, lets be real - i love junky processed food! It's taken me 40- something years to develop these horrible eating habits, and it will take more than a few months of change to undo the damage. I do like to pre log my food when possible, because it seems to take away the uncertainty of "what is there to eat", which leads me to prowl the kitchen in search of food, any food. I don't really know the point of this post, I just needed to vent and whine a bit, I guess. Thanks for reading :-)
I have COPD and binge eating issues, joy. I was diagnosed with COPD at just 28 years old. I knew little about it at the time, only that each time I got a cold, it led to severe bronchitis and even pneumonia on one occasion. It was down to smoking for ten years. I quit immediately. But the damage was done and it is not reversible. I am considered a mild case, but it is enough I notice it and get frustrated. I do get slightly breathless going upstairs, and walking up a steep hill can really be painful. Yet I can run on the treadmill at 12.5 km/hr for 25 minutes, to do a 5k and do hiit involving 1 minute bursts at 16km/hr. i was cycling for hours almost daily last summer, including hills, so I am at least able to stay active for now. But no matter how active or fit I try and become, I will always struggle with hills and stairs, and that frustrates the heck out of you when all you want is to be able to do the things others can do.0 -
These recent posts have inspired another motivational rant of mine..
I've accepted the fact that I will struggle with food/body image for the rest of my life. But honestly, telling myself that this is an uncontrollable mental disorder has done nothing but give me an excuse to give in to my cravings.
This thread gets so damn depressing sometimes, to the point where I think anyone mid binge who stumbled upon it would walk away feeling helpless and out of control, rather than giving them the support and empowerment to overcome it. Yes, I am guilty of making such posts here myself, this is simply an observation.
This past week I had some massive realizations about myself, my body and my fitness. Look at my picture. This whole time that has been under the clothes worn by this quiet, self-loathing girl who hates how weak and powerless she feels when it comes to eating. I looked in the mirror and I for once didn't hate what I saw. I never even realized how fit and toned I have become because this whole time I have been living in the depressed state of acceptance for my BED. It feels so weird I never saw myself for how I really was, Its like someone suddenly flipped a switch in my brain.
The point I'm making is, once you realize that BED doesn't define you, any success you have made you made with BED all along, so why would you let it sabotage you now?
This acceptance is so toxic to progress. Yes we all have painful emotional attachments to food, but telling yourself that you are powerless and weak in these situations will do just that.
You are strong. You have come so far. You will NOT let BED define you.
and most importantly, you are a Lion! RAWR!
Good post, and wow, are you really 134 Ibs? You look way less than that in the picture. I am 5'10 and 4 Ibs more.0 -
Good post, and wow, are you really 134 Ibs? You look way less than that in the picture. I am 5'10 and 4 Ibs more.
Yes ma'am I carry my weight on my butt/thighs and in my baggy pajama pants I look more in proportion than I really am. I take that pic first thing in the morning so maybe I am fluxed down closer to 130 but I've never seen any weight below 130 on the scale0
This discussion has been closed.