BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
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Hey there , see below, I am just figuring this thread out0
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I'm new, and I'm really scared. I've been getting progressively worse with my bingeing over the past 6 months. To the point where it's 1-2x a week and 4000+ calorie days. I don't know what to do or how to control my impulses and I'm really scared.
Hey there buddy,
Don't panic - calm down...don't get caught up in over-thinking about the food, or the calories. I am just a beginner to this group, but I know the panic can lead to under eating to compensate - all or nothing thinking, etc, which is the roller coaster we need to get off of. I just had 4 close to 4000 calorie days I was not brave enough to count. But, I think maybe you should get your mind on something else. I am going to start looking more at my activity and see if that helps, try to make my behaviors more consistent and balanced. One thing I do that helps is going shopping...I often take everything I bought back, but it provides some fun, activity, and a feeling of 'getting something' ,only you CAN take it back later, unlike a binge.0 -
I am more than a little disappointed with my start to April, I just finished a challenge I set for myself and did not binge for the last 10 days of March and felt great completing it. Unfortunately even with that challenge completed, I have only lost one pound so far which for me is not too thrilling (i get discouraged easily) and with final exams starting this week I think the stress just wore me down and I have binged the past two days
. I find that my biggest challenge once i start binging is to try and get out of the mindset because for me it just leads to a downward spiral of binging, feeling disgusted at myself for binging, then binging some more because I feel awful (in the past i have had binges that last for days). This morning I have just been telling myself that today is a new day and I am going to challenge myself to be binge free for the rest of the week, but I know this will be a huge challenge for me with so much stress from exams coming up!
Hey BoJenks! I hear you! I have exams next week AND I am starting a new job...
I didn't know there was a Binge Free day challenge! I like the sound of that except.... I have a feeling day 51 is binge day. I know that my 'end date' triggered me, I love the idea of the challenge though
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Sounds good Kate!My goal is to allow myself a meal I might normally not have, if I feel the urge to binge creeping up, as having a less than stellar meal, would be better than ending up in an all out binge. Also want to try and ensure I get to the gym 5 days a week at least, and lose 2-3 Ibs minimum this month. Also trying to keep refined sugar foods to one day a week, no more.
That sounds really smart, I think it is important too, to practice healthy behaviors by having something different without letting it become a binge, after all that's what we want to move towards right? I think it would be good practice for self control.0 -
Hi Twistedheart and Candycane!
I've not been a part of the group for long, but it has really helped me tremendously. Just knowing you are not alone or that you aren't the only failure out there that can't have a normal relationship with food is great. We aren't failures at all and we are not alone.
I'd start the challenge today just to be accountable to yourself. Feeling the success of making it through one day without a binge is awesome...and if you do binge you can look forward to maybe logging a win tomorrow. It's really helped me with my all or nothing mentality.
Heather 0 -
Hello to everyone struggling with this disease here. I really do think its a disease; a disease that has not been talked up in the news, Some people without the disease find it hard to understand, just like I might find it difficult to understand how asthmatics or people with COPD feel ( luckily I can breathe easily, unlike these folks ). That's just an example. I wish the people around me understood how I feel towards something as "simple" as food. "Just don't eat it" means absolutely nothing to me. "Here, try this bite" can lead to days worth of binging. I don't like being scared of food. I'm really trying to log accurately and be aware of the amount of food I'm eating, and lately I've begun obsessing about food even more. I'm always hungry now, and always thinking about eating. I'm trying to get more protein, but I'm not a big meat eater. I'm trying to fill up on veggies and water, but come on, lets be real - i love junky processed food! It's taken me 40- something years to develop these horrible eating habits, and it will take more than a few months of change to undo the damage. I do like to pre log my food when possible, because it seems to take away the uncertainty of "what is there to eat", which leads me to prowl the kitchen in search of food, any food. I don't really know the point of this post, I just needed to vent and whine a bit, I guess. Thanks for reading :-)0
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These recent posts have inspired another motivational rant of mine..
I've accepted the fact that I will struggle with food/body image for the rest of my life. But honestly, telling myself that this is an uncontrollable mental disorder has done nothing but give me an excuse to give in to my cravings.
This thread gets so damn depressing sometimes, to the point where I think anyone mid binge who stumbled upon it would walk away feeling helpless and out of control, rather than giving them the support and empowerment to overcome it. Yes, I am guilty of making such posts here myself, this is simply an observation.
This past week I had some massive realizations about myself, my body and my fitness. Look at my picture. This whole time that has been under the clothes worn by this quiet, self-loathing girl who hates how weak and powerless she feels when it comes to eating. I looked in the mirror and I for once didn't hate what I saw. I never even realized how fit and toned I have become because this whole time I have been living in the depressed state of acceptance for my BED. It feels so weird I never saw myself for how I really was, Its like someone suddenly flipped a switch in my brain.
The point I'm making is, once you realize that BED doesn't define you, any success you have made you made with BED all along, so why would you let it sabotage you now?
This acceptance is so toxic to progress. Yes we all have painful emotional attachments to food, but telling yourself that you are powerless and weak in these situations will do just that.
You are strong. You have come so far. You will NOT let BED define you.
and most importantly, you are a Lion! RAWR!0 -
Hello to everyone struggling with this disease here. I really do think its a disease; a disease that has not been talked up in the news, Some people without the disease find it hard to understand, just like I might find it difficult to understand how asthmatics or people with COPD feel ( luckily I can breathe easily, unlike these folks ). That's just an example. I wish the people around me understood how I feel towards something as "simple" as food. "Just don't eat it" means absolutely nothing to me. "Here, try this bite" can lead to days worth of binging. I don't like being scared of food. I'm really trying to log accurately and be aware of the amount of food I'm eating, and lately I've begun obsessing about food even more. I'm always hungry now, and always thinking about eating. I'm trying to get more protein, but I'm not a big meat eater. I'm trying to fill up on veggies and water, but come on, lets be real - i love junky processed food! It's taken me 40- something years to develop these horrible eating habits, and it will take more than a few months of change to undo the damage. I do like to pre log my food when possible, because it seems to take away the uncertainty of "what is there to eat", which leads me to prowl the kitchen in search of food, any food. I don't really know the point of this post, I just needed to vent and whine a bit, I guess. Thanks for reading :-)
I have COPD and binge eating issues, joy. I was diagnosed with COPD at just 28 years old. I knew little about it at the time, only that each time I got a cold, it led to severe bronchitis and even pneumonia on one occasion. It was down to smoking for ten years. I quit immediately. But the damage was done and it is not reversible. I am considered a mild case, but it is enough I notice it and get frustrated. I do get slightly breathless going upstairs, and walking up a steep hill can really be painful. Yet I can run on the treadmill at 12.5 km/hr for 25 minutes, to do a 5k and do hiit involving 1 minute bursts at 16km/hr. i was cycling for hours almost daily last summer, including hills, so I am at least able to stay active for now. But no matter how active or fit I try and become, I will always struggle with hills and stairs, and that frustrates the heck out of you when all you want is to be able to do the things others can do.0 -
These recent posts have inspired another motivational rant of mine..
I've accepted the fact that I will struggle with food/body image for the rest of my life. But honestly, telling myself that this is an uncontrollable mental disorder has done nothing but give me an excuse to give in to my cravings.
This thread gets so damn depressing sometimes, to the point where I think anyone mid binge who stumbled upon it would walk away feeling helpless and out of control, rather than giving them the support and empowerment to overcome it. Yes, I am guilty of making such posts here myself, this is simply an observation.
This past week I had some massive realizations about myself, my body and my fitness. Look at my picture. This whole time that has been under the clothes worn by this quiet, self-loathing girl who hates how weak and powerless she feels when it comes to eating. I looked in the mirror and I for once didn't hate what I saw. I never even realized how fit and toned I have become because this whole time I have been living in the depressed state of acceptance for my BED. It feels so weird I never saw myself for how I really was, Its like someone suddenly flipped a switch in my brain.
The point I'm making is, once you realize that BED doesn't define you, any success you have made you made with BED all along, so why would you let it sabotage you now?
This acceptance is so toxic to progress. Yes we all have painful emotional attachments to food, but telling yourself that you are powerless and weak in these situations will do just that.
You are strong. You have come so far. You will NOT let BED define you.
and most importantly, you are a Lion! RAWR!
Good post, and wow, are you really 134 Ibs? You look way less than that in the picture. I am 5'10 and 4 Ibs more.0 -
Good post, and wow, are you really 134 Ibs? You look way less than that in the picture. I am 5'10 and 4 Ibs more.
Yes ma'am I carry my weight on my butt/thighs and in my baggy pajama pants I look more in proportion than I really am. I take that pic first thing in the morning so maybe I am fluxed down closer to 130 but I've never seen any weight below 130 on the scale0 -
Candice, Welcome!! People that do not have a Binge eating problem don’t understand. I agree with the books. I read one by Gennen Roth. There is a book list here on this group too.
MadDogManor, I hate it when people want me to try a bite of something. I know what foods trigger me and I like to stay away from them. (at least until I get a better handle on my BE problem)
Graelwyn75, I too have lung issues. I have Sarcoidosis which causes tumors to grow. Mine are in my lungs and the lymph nodes in my lungs. SO sometimes I have breathing trouble. Like asthma. I hope your COPD is well managed. HUGS
tsikkz, you are very fit and thin.
I had a good day yesterday. I am taking it one day at a time. I almost tried to go to a residential facility. I have checked out some more books on BE and will read and learn all I can while working on my anxiety and BE. I am working the rest of the week in Special Education. These will be very loving but low functioning students. It will be stressful but I love teaching these kids.
I will beat this! I am finding my triggers and trying to work through them. I might even start keeping a diary of the triggers with each binge episode. I know I will never reach my goal with this binge eating.0 -
Hi Twistedheart and Candycane!
I've not been a part of the group for long, but it has really helped me tremendously. Just knowing you are not alone or that you aren't the only failure out there that can't have a normal relationship with food is great. We aren't failures at all and we are not alone.
I'd start the challenge today just to be accountable to yourself. Feeling the success of making it through one day without a binge is awesome...and if you do binge you can look forward to maybe logging a win tomorrow. It's really helped me with my all or nothing mentality.
Heather
for sure, and I feel like stopping a running binge is quite an accomplishment! But I never feel like a failure, Neither should anyone else. It has to stay in perspective, this is one area of your life, that you don't do 100% well on 100% of the time, it doesn't define 'who you are'. If you were bingeing everyday of the week, it would soon become a serious health issue. If you are binging twice a week, then you are also practicing some control for most of that week. Give yourself the due respect.
I picked up some books from the library yesterday, but should really do my homework cause this is my last week of classes!!! woo-hoo0 -
Tsikkz Dayum! you are just noticing that you are hot? Good for you!0
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Hello to everyone struggling with this disease here. I really do think its a disease; a disease that has not been talked up in the news, Some people without the disease find it hard to understand, just like I might find it difficult to understand how asthmatics or people with COPD feel ( luckily I can breathe easily, unlike these folks ). That's just an example. I wish the people around me understood how I feel towards something as "simple" as food. "Just don't eat it" means absolutely nothing to me. "Here, try this bite" can lead to days worth of binging. I don't like being scared of food. I'm really trying to log accurately and be aware of the amount of food I'm eating, and lately I've begun obsessing about food even more. I'm always hungry now, and always thinking about eating. I'm trying to get more protein, but I'm not a big meat eater. I'm trying to fill up on veggies and water, but come on, lets be real - i love junky processed food! It's taken me 40- something years to develop these horrible eating habits, and it will take more than a few months of change to undo the damage. I do like to pre log my food when possible, because it seems to take away the uncertainty of "what is there to eat", which leads me to prowl the kitchen in search of food, any food. I don't really know the point of this post, I just needed to vent and whine a bit, I guess. Thanks for reading :-)
I think this is a safe place to whine, my sister likes to bring food over and leave it here in the fridge so she can eat it next time she's here, especially chocolate. Then she complains when it is not here the next time she comes over. I tell her...if you leave it here, it's as good as gone' she doesn't understand how I can't leave it there.
I don't eat meat, but I eat a Gardein 'chicken' breast in the morning for breakfast , 23 grams of protein, tastes good, satisfies me. And I really think it helps me be less hungry later in the day.0 -
I've just joined about a week ago, and I'm loving this group. I agree that the threads can get a little depressing as we all struggle through our BED, but I just want to say I am inspired by how strong we all are, and how hard we are fighting.
I'm working really hard to understand my feelings about food. I run a lot, and so when I have a longer run like today, I feel like I "need" to eat more. I get stressed about bonking on my runs, and I know I need to just listen to my body more and realize I can always get food.
I'm reading a book called Crave by Cynthia Bulik that's been super helpful.
We kick *kitten* It's a battle, but we're fighting, which is a beautiful thing to see.
My BED has only in the last 6 months gotten bad again, and luckily I haven't gained much weight, maybe 5lbs. I obsessively exercise until I burn off the calories... which isn't good, but eventually I'd like to be working out a ton (because I love it) and not bingeing, so I can lose the weight I've gained, and really be proud of my body AND actions.0 -
Hi everyone,
Just wanted to check in. I'm having a successful month. I'm meeting my goal of filling out my diary every day no matter what. I've had 2 or 3 questionable eating days and only one actual binge in April. I really enjoy the thread where we check in every day. It helps hold me accountable. It helps remind me each day is a new day. It also helps put things into perspective so that I can't talk myself into thinking I'm doing worse than I actually am. Also, restriction is not the answer for my weight loss goals. Re-learning how to eat like a healthy person is the answer. Luckily behavior is learned and it can be unlearned too. I've been working very hard these past 3+ years on changing my behavior. I don't want to binge, I don't want to restrict, I just want to eat "normally".
Thank you to all who post here. Thank you for being here. It really helps to know you're not alone. This type of behavior isn't as uncommon as I once thought it was. That is comforting because I think very highly of you even though you portray this behavior - so why should I think less of myself? That's not fair, right?
Diane0 -
Cynthia who wrote crave also has a really informative podcast that isn't too long to listen to, I think she has two episodes up that are around 10 mins long each and packed with useful information. Good to listen to while you go for a walk! *nudge nudge*
search "crave the podcast" in itunes
Thank you to those for their kind words regarding my appearance. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and I still battle myself in the mirror, which was one of the reasons I joined this group, I thought once I got thin my terrible relationship with food would end, but it didn't.
I don't want to put people down for whining about having this affliction, I just hate the acceptance of it as something that cannot be controlled. I hope that makes sense. It can be managed and you can reach your goals. I am proof of that, and so are many of the other inspiring successes in this thread.
I'm sorry it sounded a bit mean, but I was feeling very passionate when I wrote it 0 -
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I've just joined about a week ago, and I'm loving this group. I agree that the threads can get a little depressing as we all struggle through our BED, but I just want to say I am inspired by how strong we all are, and how hard we are fighting.
I'm working really hard to understand my feelings about food. I run a lot, and so when I have a longer run like today, I feel like I "need" to eat more. I get stressed about bonking on my runs, and I know I need to just listen to my body more and realize I can always get food.
I'm reading a book called Crave by Cynthia Bulik that's been super helpful.
We kick *kitten* It's a battle, but we're fighting, which is a beautiful thing to see.
My BED has only in the last 6 months gotten bad again, and luckily I haven't gained much weight, maybe 5lbs. I obsessively exercise until I burn off the calories... which isn't good, but eventually I'd like to be working out a ton (because I love it) and not bingeing, so I can lose the weight I've gained, and really be proud of my body AND actions.
If you are running a lot, your binges might be because you are needing more fuel than you are giving your body. You look very thin in your profile picture. If you are underweight(not saying you are) but if you are, it will bring about issues with binging. And certainly doing a lot of cardio without adequate carbs will.0 -
I have crave the podcast downloaded. I have not listened yet. May try it today.
I am super tired today. I know days I am tired can be hard for BE. I plan to eat filling lower calorie foods and keep busy.0
This discussion has been closed.