Glad you are past those two days, Connie. How to get past that kind of eating - I just don't know.

One thing I think I need to do is to reduce how often I weigh myself. Back when it was a pretty good downward direction almost every day, it worked for me to weigh myself daily. But it is way too bumpy these days and though I dont think that triggers binges - I'm starting to think it is related. It might not be the trigger, but if the day starts with an unexpected bump up in weight I seem less able to muster the willpower to fight my way through the binge urge. I've been fighting up and down with the same 12 pounds since January. I still haven't found my way back to my low of March. I know you have been in a similar tailspin. I'm not ready to give up - but am getting frustrated.

On a different - tastier - somewhat humorous note:

I had a very similar dinner tonight. Some frozen black bean and kale pasta sauce (lol...but it had lots of yellow zuchinni in it as well as peppers/tomatoes/onions) on those frozen French cut green beans that I like to use for pasta and a couple of zuchinni nests. Topped with 4 little meatless meatballs, some mozzarella and parmesan cheese, a few shakes of chili peppers and I was one happy camper. And a pretty full one right about now

Connie, you inspired the three egg, sweet gherkin, dill pickle, honey mustard, mustard powder, crapload of fresh onions "salad" that I served over my salad

Actually I liking your "lasagna". Not sure that dad would fall for it. But I am liking it for myself.

You MADE the egg salad salad with your deviled egg recipe!!!!

Laurie your dinner sounds good!

It also sounds as if you need to have a chat with your hamsters and see where you want to be.

The biggest health dividend is in the bag, already as soon as we moved from our 35's and 40's and more to BMI's below 27 (mid-point overweight) and even more so once in the 25s... the elephant in any of our rooms is not moving forward but avoiding a large regain! And remember that the biggest predictor for continuing to maintain a large loss is... are you ready? Maintaining the large loss for longer and longer Odds of continuing to maintain increase at the 6 month, 1 year, 2 year, and by the five year mark of maintenance we're at better than even odds of continuing to maintain!

I have no issues with concentrating on small incremental improvements both as a goal and as a distraction over the good one or two(+) years that it is likely to take for things to get back to normal and for brains and hormones to catch up with drastic losses. I mean... heck... that's exactly what I did!

But the big payoff is that by trying to move forward we're not backsliding... right? Regardless of whether we actually move forward even a tiny bit!

So, if frustration at lack of additional progress causes back-sliding that's the exact opposite of what we want!

The reframing is that by focusing on moving forward you're not backsliding and that by itself is victory. Additional loss is bonus; but lack of additional loss should not be frustration inducing!

Otherwise I am going to channel Novus and suggest you should try to make things easier and more sustainable... remember: there is no real end coming up! It's not like tomorrow we get to BMI 22 and stop having to manage our weight because we got to goal!

Maybe I'm being cryptic and all that, or off the mark? I can attempt this again when I am not sleep deprived... sleep is a really good goal, yes! Maybe I should join into the goal setting!

But I am a bit concerned in that I am hearing about a "fight" as opposed to hearing about an "easy" "normal"

But you added dill pickles and mustard powder lol….I thought you put fried eggs on top of your salad with that stuff in it!

For whatever reason - when I added that laughing face - the only part of your post that showed was "You MADE the egg salad salad with your deviled egg recipe!!!! "

Hence my laughing face response.

I'm too tired to absorb your thoughtful post - will have to try again tomorrow!

Thank you, and goodnight all.

I have a seriously messed up relationship with food, which has been getting worse and worse it seems. I have also realized that I can't lose until I fix that relationship and the mental health issues behind it. Not that you ever really "fix" mental health, but work on it and find what works the best for me (with professional help).

Food wise right now...

Breakfast is oatmeal with bananas, chia seeds, maple syrup, and blueberries
Lunch is shredded hashbrowns, mushrooms, peppers, onions, and zucchini with eggs

Dinner the last few nights (and tonight) is chicken, pepper, onion, and corn enchiladas.

Been snacking on fresh honeydew and hummus with veggies and pretzels.

Sigh….John and grandson johnnathan wanted me to go to breakfast with them….I did and had my usual bacon, tomato and toast and grits….wasn’t the morning I had planned but I dealt with it….how many 16 year olds actually want to spend time with their grandparents?…I am fixing a chicken and mixed veggie casserole for dinner with potatoes on top of it ….won’t be many calories to play with today….

conniewilkins56 wrote: »

….John and grandson johnnathan wanted me to go to breakfast with them…how many 16 year olds actually want to spend time with their grandparents?

That is beautiful, Connie. Moments like that I feel very blessed.

Definitely worth have to play the calorie make up game later in the day!

Lean Angus burgers at 170 Cal per 4oz patty each, served on top of oven baked portobello mushrooms with a few oven chips (thin sliced pre-boiled fingerling potatoes) and a very simple salad of medley tomatoes (yellow orange black red two kinds of each actually both cherry and roma shaped, except the black are only cherry) and some grilled fresh onions