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What Day Is It?
This month is International Pirate Month. Why this of all months? Because it's ARRRgust. Bystander Awareness Month. Were there bystanders before phone cameras? Happiness Happens Month. Therein lies the secret. Don't ever forget it. National Water Quality Month. How's that workin for ya Flint? National Win With Civility…
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What Day Is It?
National Cotton Candy Day. Invented by a dentist who had too much free time on his docket. National Avocado Day. Free Guac today! It's up to you to find out where. Shredded Wheat Day. Best served in a bowl with milk, held over the garbage disposal with cold water turned on, then flipped over and down the drain. Then make a…
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What Day Is It?
This week is: Single Working Women's Week. 46 years and still needing one more for the ERA. 303030203030303030 Todays Is: Father In Law Day. As in real life, TV fathers-in-law are always loveable and fun. International Day of Friendship. Do you really know who all of your facebook really are? National Cheesecake Day. Free…
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What Day Is It?
Take Your Pants For a Walk Day. Please...keep them leashed, clean up after them, and properly dispose of those little green bags. I think it's annoying when they have to stop and sniff other pants. National Scotch Day. Just one neat please. Well, a second won't hurt. Rocks and soda will make the next ones last longer.…
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What Day Is It?
A day I need to get out too early. Let your mind wander as mine does. National Bagelfest Day. National Chili Dog Day. National Coffee Milkshake Day. National Refreshment Day. National All Or Nothing Day. Birthdays: Selene, 45 Sandra Annette Bullock, 54 Kevin Spacey Fowler, 59 Helen Lydia Mironoff, 73 Michael Philip Jagger,…
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What Day Is It?
National Carousel Day. In DC this is called Congress Is In Session. National Hot Fudge Sundae Day. Modified milk ingredients, sugar, glucose, mono and diglycerides, guar gum, polysorbate 80, carrageenan and artificial flavors topped with whipped cream that has never seen a cow, warm fake fudge, and topped with a cherry…
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What Day Is It?
Cousins Day. More marriages are consummated today in Kentucky than all other days combined. International Self Care Day. Last year several porn sites exploded. National Drive-Thru Day. Where would McDonalds be if it weren't for Red Chaney? National Tequila Day. It's about damn time! Free Patron at participating locations.…
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What Day Is It?
This week is: RAGBRAI. Because you will do anything to escape Iowa. National Moth Week. Open your closets and wallets you enablers and collectors! Restless Leg Syndrome Education & Awareness Week. I'm fairly certain if you have it, you are aware. 232323232423232232323232323 Today is: Gorgeous Grandma Day. Aren't they all?…
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What Day Is It?
World Jump Day. If you want to shift our planet into an orbit that will save us from global warming, you must stop whatever you are doing at precisely 11:39.13 UTC and do it. It will work if everyone on this side of earth chips in. So the Chinese must be still. National Moon Day. I think we should all send a moon pic to…
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What Day Is It?
Flitch Day. One full year plus one day of unbridled marital bliss can earn this holy grail. Get to Know Your Customer Day. Pick up a Papa John's pizza and the cheapest six pack in your Walmart beer aisle and invite yourself in to your customer's home any time after the 10 PM news. You will get to know your customer.…
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What Day Is It?
National Caviar Day. Fish baby jam on toast. National Sour Candy Day. Oxymoron candy? Perfect Family Day. The last one was June Evelyn Bronson Cleaver, Ward, Wally, and Theodore. National Hot Dog Day. Thou shalt not defile tube steak with ketchup lest thou shalt suffer the eternal fire of Hades. Bryce, are you paying…
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What Day Is It?
Yellow Pig Day. Yellow pigs are the rarest of all sus and its 17 strips of bacon can't be found anywhere. World Emoji Day. Thanks to Mr and Ms Smiley Face gettin it on, there is no longer room for emojis and people. War is imminent. I've begun hoarding cyan cartridges. National Tattoo Day. If you got 'em, flaunt 'em,…
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What Day Is It?
This is: Every Body Deserves a Massage Week. Free sample massage all week at all participating Happy Ending Day Spas. National Independent Retailers Week. Soon to be replaced by Walmazon Week. National Zookeeper Week. Celebrated at the Audubon Zoo by giving Valerio a couple hours of free play time. National Rabbit Week.…
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What Day Is It?
Embrace Your Geekness Day. Sport those horn rims. Binge watch Star Trek. Quote from your Wookieepedia. Vomit pi. Gruntled Workers Day. Happy worker of the world, unite! Anyone? Anyone? National French Fries Day. The only day ketchup is legally allowed in the general vicinity of a hot dog. Fool's Paradise Day. Chuck and…
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What Day Is It?
National Simplicity Day. If you are observing this, you are not observing it. So you already screwed it up. National Pecan Pie Day. So sweet, just one bite and your teeth begin to disintegrate, but oh so good. Eat Your Jello Day. Best eaten from tiny cups with Jose, Jack, or the Captain. National Heterochromia Day. Mila…
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What Day Is It?
7/11 Free brain freeze at participating locations. Bowdler's Day. Any song, TV show, movie, or book today would cause his head to explode with a shock wave killing thousands. National Cheer Up The Lonely Day. Hug a humble huffy Hillary hippie. All American Pet Photo Day. If there is one thing I want to see it's 7 pictures…
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What Day Is It?
Cow Appreciation Day. Get your cow suit and makeup out of storage and go get that free sandwich. Nothing about that makes you a weird mooch. Don't Step on a Bee Day. They don't like that and will get revenge. National Pina Colada Day. The only time a guy can order one is poolside on a tropical island. Any other time is…
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What Day Is It?
What Week Is It? Creative Maladjustment Week. My mind is exploding with mental adventures in a week of "special" thoughts. No bridles for 6 more days. Sports Cliché Week. It's all about winning for me, so I'm going to keep my eye on the ball and be a good team player and take one for the team and not pull any punches.…
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What Day Is It?
The Entire Earth at Aphelion. That is exactly about 152,095,566 km. Are you ready to party? International Kissing Day. A kiss not only feels great, it's also loaded with health benefits. So, this guy is ready to get healthy. I'm waiting patiently. National Fried Chicken Day. Free fried chicken at all participating KFC's at…
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What Day Is It?
World Bikini Day. When a day is "World"there are no ifs, ands or buts, everyone must comply. National Apple Turnover Day. Apple calzone. National Workaholics Day. They will be too busy to celebrate. National Graham Cracker Day. If you dunk, your timing must be impeccable lest it stays in your milk glass. Work Without Your…
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What Day Is It?
Compliment Your Mirror Day. How you doin’? You better call life alert because I've fallen for you and I can't get up. Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk by again? American Redneck Day. Spruce up that jacked up 4X4, fill that truck bed with ice and Bud Light, bring y'all's jar a clear, and fly the stars…
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What Day Is It?
July is: Cell Phone Courtesy Month. Sorry, this has been cancelled and replaced by Text While Driving Kill Your Friends Month. Independent Retailer Month. How's that working for ya, Sears, K Mart and Toys R Us? National Hot Dog Month. Mustard. Never, ever under any circumstance, ketchup! And when did catsup become ketchup?…
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What Day Is It?
National Camera Day. Cell phone cameras spawned duck lips. Drive Your Corvette to Work Day. Whether you are 18 and driving your '99 Stingray or 58 and driving your new ZR1, tops off today and remember the speed limit is merely a suggestion. Hug Holiday. Where did the Bro Hug come from? It starts with that gregarious waist…
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What Day Is It?
National Handshake Day. It's easy. Grab hand and shake...unless you miss. Then make something up so you don't look as awkward as the whole world sees you. National Bomb Pop Day. They don't explode. They are not carbonated. Lime is white. Rasberry is blue. Makes sense to me. National Tapioca Day. Pudding with the…
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What Day Is It?
Decide to be Married Day. Sounds passionately romantic. At least no one has to take a knee. Happy Birthday to You Day. If Patty and Mildred hadn't been Sunday school teachers, what would we be singing off key? National Parchment Cooking Day. Even if you carefully filet and trim it, it's still tough and gives me heartburn,…
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What Day Is It?
Tropical Cocktails Day. In Chicago that would be a cold Miller's with some kind of fruit somewhere in the room. National Beautician's Day. Knifeless underpaid plastic surgeons. Forgiveness Day. Guys seem to need more than one, no, a few, no, several, no, many, no, that's not enough. National Chocolate Pudding Day. Where…
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What Day Is It?
Leon Day. If you are that person who hasn't taken your Christmas lights down, this day is for you, unless you were a fan of Negro League Baseball. Then this day is for you. National Catfish Day. In every city and town there is a mechanic named Catfish, who can fix anything. Please Take my Children to Work Day. Says every…
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What Day Is It?
National Vanilla Milkshake Day. If the main ingredients never said moo, it's only a "shake". National Ice Cream Soda Day. For one day it's health food and as always, gluten and red dye free, and may contain dairy. World Productivity Day. Congress was going to proclaim it, but they were too busy blaming each other for its…
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What Day Is It?
National Chocolate Eclair Day. Oh so good, but don't try to dunk one in your coffee. Stupid Guy Thing Day. I say it's only stupid if it ends in an ambulance ride to the emergency room and ICU. National Onion Rings Day. Don't you hate it when they're still searingly hot and that big one refuses to be cut by your bite and…
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What Day Is It?
Baby Boomers Recognition Day. They/we are easy to recognize. Look for someone with a bald guy ponytail trying to figure out how to fold that shiny new walker with freshly cut tennis balls on its feet. Litha. Litha fallth on June twenty-firth thith year becauthe thith ith thummer tholstith. National Dump The Pump Day. Sneak…
