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What Day Is It?
National Peach Cobbler Day. Anything peach works for me, but isn't it just pie with a crust on steroids? Celebrate Teen Literature Day. Consists of thumb typing unintelligible "words" with occasional emojis thrown in just to throw adults off what teens are hiding in secret sext messages to one of their 123,657 followers.…
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What Day Is It?
National Big Wind Day. This is easy. Breakfast: Broccoli and cheese omelet with milk Snack: Fiber One bar and Diet Coke Lunch: Beans and franks with Diet Pepsi Dinner: Cabbage, Artichokes, Cucumber Salad, and Whole Wheat Mac and Cheese with Diet RC Dessert: Peaches and Pears with cream. Blame it on the dog. National…
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What Day Is It?
International Louie Louie Day. You decide which has the real lyrics to the greatest party song of all time: https://youtu.be/M5QbtXCF260 https://youtu.be/AaRqqldANEI Barbershop Quartet Day. Thanks to Great Clips' market share, this is now Barbershop Solo Day. National Dandelion Day. Dandelions for weight loss and back…
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What Day Is It?
This is International Dark Sky Week. I don't make this stuff up. If it weren't for nights and really nasty storms, the sky might never get dark, and we couldn't watch submarine races or go to the endangered species, drive-in theaters with our lovers. How would we know when to go to bed, or get up? We wouldn't have…
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What Day Is It?
National Beer Day. “Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!” ― Martin Luther International Beaver Day. https://youtu.be/F7AQkui_fcA National Coffee Cake Day. It's not cake. It's not coffee. What the hell is it? No Housework…
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What Day Is It?
National Hostess Twinkie Day. 87 years of chemically enhanced, 153 year shelf life goodness. Jump Over Things Day. I'm serious about this one. If it's in your path, just do it, but say nothing and continue on your way. Fresh Tomato Day. If those organically grown, non-gmo, gluten free, fat free, bht free, unsweetened…
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What Day Is It?
Read A Road Map Day. How many Americans are left who can read a map that doesn't have a moving arrow head? School Librarian Day. The living, breathing, sometimes sexy, most times not, human Google. National Dandelion Day. Don't heartlessly yank this delicacy out by the roots. Get on your hands and knees and graze. Bell…
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What Day Is It?
National Walk Around Things Day. That yellow puddle, that broken Mad Dog 20/20 bottle, that poop pile, it might be a good idea to walk around them for today. Hug a Newsperson Day. Is there anyone with more lofty intentions? Skewing facts has merely been coincidental in her/his climb to relevance. National Tell a Lie Day.…
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What Day Is It?
April is International Twit Award Month. It's time to recognize that annoying little sonofabitch for reallypissingyou off. Mathematics and Statistics Awareness Month. Be ready for some wild 58 673.8827 mililetrer'ers at the frat houses. Holy Humor Month. This is Pooper Scooper Week. On of the true joys of dog ownership.…
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What Day Is It?
National Crayola Crayon Day. The Crayola gods have deigned for the first time to officially retire a color, dandelion. This is a lie. When is the last time you pulled "flesh" out of the box? National "She's Funny That Way" Day. Do these skin tight over-stretched, straining at the seams, blood clotting jeans make my butt…
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What Day Is It?
National Turkey Neck Soup Day. So that's what plastic surgeons do with old folks' skin they excise. Grass is Always Browner on the Other Side of the Fence Day. You made that risky job change, you divorced him/her for her/him, you moved to a better climate, you pre-ordered a Maserati Levante. You look back. What do you see?…
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What Day Is It?
Smoke and Mirrors Day. How else could our government fund pet projects?* So, why is the federal government spending $104 million a year subsidizing public housing for people who are no longer low-income? Researched the effectiveness of golf equipment in space. $15,000,000 Whole Grain Sampling Day. Chew on some raw wheat or…
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What Day Is It?
Weed Appreciation Day. No... The other weed. National Black Forest Cake Day. I want to live in this Black Forest Place. You get schinken, bier, wein, kuchen and lederhosen. Hot Tub Day. https://youtu.be/ujkd9HCS4B0 Respect Your Cat Day. I will never be owned by one. National Something on a Stick Day.…
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What Day Is It?
This is National Protocol Officer's Week. An art as popular today as cod liver oil. National Spanish Paella Day. Is it called Eskimo Paella in Alaska? National Joe Day. How does it feel to be named after WWII coffee? Viagra Day. Set your timer for 4 hours. Have an ambulance on call. Repeat. International Whisk(e)y Day. The…
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What Day Is It?
National Cocktail Day. Although he origin of the word "cocktail" is disputed, it's pleasant relaxation and subsequent DUI is not. International Day for Achievers. https://youtu.be/QMFwFgG9NE8 National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day. Do you have a pet rabbit? The 5 second rule does not apply for your dropped candies.…
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What Day Is It?
OK Day. The distant second most useful word in the English language. The easily most useful begins with the letter between the fifth and seventh. Now you're counting the letters on your fingers. National Melba Toast Day. Named after Helen Porter Mitchell, who loved little dried, toasted, thin bread. National Tamale Day.…
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What Day Is It?
National Goof-off Day. Your boss will have your back, so check your brackets, check everyone elses's brackets, catch a game on your phone, play solitaire and check your personal email on your desktop. It's all good today. International Talk Like Shatner Day. https://www.youtube.com/embed/3b56e0u0EgQ?list=PLC4299186134A1498…
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What Day Is It?
National Fragrance Day. https://www.amazon.com/Liquid-*kitten*-Mister/dp/B000OCEWGW/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1490098228&sr=1-1&keywords=fart+spray Memory Day. Why did I walk into the bathroom? Maybe if I go to the kitchen it will jog my memory. Why am I in the kitchen? National French Bread Day. Do they…
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What Day Is It?
This is National Fix A Leak Week. One word: Depends. This is Act Happy Week. Did you wake today and see the green side of the grass? https://youtu.be/d-diB65scQU National Bock Beer Day. One of the olde school beer holy days, but craft beers have pretty this relegated this to something from the History Channel. Great…
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What Day Is It?
Submarine Day. Anyone recall watching the submarine races with boy/girlfriend as a teenager? World Sleep Day. I guess it's back to bed after my coffee. National Preschool Teachers Appreciation Day. Job didn't possess their patience. National Corned Beef and Cabbage Day. New York pub food that's NOT a thing in Dublin.…
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What Day Is It?
Lips Appreciation Day. Is there any part of the human body that can do as much as well as long? National Artichoke Heart Day. The first artichoke Queen was Norma Jean. St. Urho's Day. The savior of Finnish grape jam. Everything You Do is Right Day. No left turns allowed today. Birthdays: Sarah Braverman, 50 Victor Joseph…
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What Day Is It?
Everything You Think is Wrong Day. According to my ex this is my day every day. True Confessions Day. It's time to tell your spouse where you were and what you did...after conferring with a good lawyer. Dumbstruck Day. I guess this is a good descriptive for those of you enjoying your East Coast winter. National Pears…
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What Day Is It?
Crowdfunding Day. Pay day for George Soros' riot squads. National Save a Spider Day. As long as it's not in my home, fine. If it's in my home it will die gagging on Raid. International Ask a Question Day. Why? National Potato Chip Day. Making Americans fatter for 164 delicious years. National Pi Day. Mathematicians are…
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What Day Is It?
This is International Brain Awareness Week. God's one more reminder of why hangovers. Girl Scout Week. Planet Uranus Discovery Day. What made Johann decide to name William's planet in honor of your most disgusting body part? National Ginger Ale Day. Ruining whiskey for more than 160 years. Ken Day. Barbie's friend with the…
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What Day Is It?
Drink Your Juice Day. Juice, because vodka. National Blueberry Popover Day. Go ahead. It doesn't need butter. You can eat just one. Sure. International Day of Awesomeness. You look awesome. Stand proud in front of the mirror. That popover above your belt proves you enjoy every calorie, every gram of saturated fat, every…
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What Day Is It?
National Crab Meat Day. I'm sorry. Did I say crab meat? Enjoy your golden threadfin bream, New Zealand hoki and white croaker or Alaskan Pollack. Get Over it Day. A skill belonging only to the male of our species. Panic Day. Did you forget her birthday? Were you 2 hours late going home when he or she prepared a special…
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What Day Is It?
Discover What Your Name Means Day. Mine would be the grace of the Lord, power bright. National Peanut Cluster Day. The good health news is they are low in cholesterol. The bad news is you have to walk 20 minutes or jog 9 minutes to burn off the calories. National Be Nasty Day. Drive slow in the fast lane. Take two parking…
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What Day Is It?
National Be Heard Day. This is the day to yell everything at everyone. Imagine the cacophony. National Crown Roast of Pork Day. A good way to waste a bunch of perfectly good pork chops that would be so much better on the grille. IHOP Pancake Day. Free short stacks, but butter is $5 per pat and syrup is $15 per squirt.…
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What Day Is It?
This is National Sleep Awareness Week. If you are aware that you are asleep, are you really asleep? Celebrate Your Name Week. Have a beer on mine. White Chocolate Cheesecake Day. It's not white. It's not chocolate. It is good. National Oreo Day. 105 year controversy of how best to eat them. National Dress Day. OK, all you…
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What Day Is It?
What if Dogs and Cats Had Opposable Thumbs Day. You would never be alone in the bathroom and cats, who already look down at their humans, would eliminate us. National Cold Cuts Day. The CDC advises that those over 50 reheat cold cuts to 165 °F and use them within four days. Those under 50 can enjoy their cold cuts.…
