Senior Golden Sneakers
Replies
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Happy Wednesday or is it? Rant coming, skip ahead to the next paragraph if not interested.
Babe is driving me crazy and all I can tell myself is to take deep breathes. He is having stomach pains and originally called me to tell me his son is trying to get a hold of the doctor because he doesn't think he can wait until Monday for the colonoscopy. Then he called me to say the pain is getting worse and maybe he should go to the ER but his son went to his daughter's school because she was bleeding, maybe a first period. (TMI) I asked what he wanted me to do and he started screaming I don't know and I lost it and said if you don't know how am I supposed to know. He said someone has to take care of Daisy if he goes in the hospital and I said I would but not sleep there and he screamed again why not? I told him to first see if he ends up in the hospital before discussing it (I did tell him his son could take her and he screamed he didn't want him too). So he said never mind he would just wait until he died because no one cares. REALLY? I told him I was jumping in shower in case he wanted to go to ER. I called and he apologized for screaming at me but his son called and is trying the doctor again. His daughter hurt her "prostate" but it is all under control. So I am sort of on call to see what is happening. Can I just say what part of being separated doesn't Babe get?
He expects me to be his wife and do all the wife things even though I don't live with him.
I am really getting tired of it and really don't know what to do about it because truthfully he helps me so much financially I am afraid to say no to anything. Okay done with rant and it was therapeutic to write it down. I am sorry if it is too much information but we are "family".
Patsy, so glad you listened to us and I knew once Katie figured it out she would be a terror. lol
Glad the stitches are out and you can resume your normal life.
Marcella, have a wonderful time in Florida with your brother and a great ladies retreat!!
Jackie, I did that name thing with my three boys, always called them three names. My daughter was the only girl so it was easy. I think a jigsaw puzzle might be something I would like, I will have to give it a try.
Lin, sometimes I feel like I have too much going on, but you are just as busy as I am. I am looking forward to the pool and just relaxing, hope the weather co operates.
Anne, your dad sounds like a wonderful man and your boys are taking in his footsteps. Thanks for sharing your memories.
Phoebe, you are correct, if Lin's husband didn't appreciate her when married what would change? Something I should remind myself daily.
Shirley, have a great time at the cottage, is your MIL with you? Robby has a water table as well, did you see on Face Book how some animal chewed the sides? They think it was chip monks but emptied the water for now.
Have a great day, I feel better already just sharing with you.
Sandy
One Day at a Time
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Dear Sandy, I'm wondering exactly how to say I would handle the Babe situation. I don't want to be presumptuous and any remarks are made because I have a great respect for you and most certainly don't want to say anything that would unintentionally hurt you. For a start love, I hope the financial help is not a verbal agreement but has been drawn up by a separation lawyer. If so, he can hardly stop payments. If no legal separation and he does, it would be a form of blackmail because no one should be forced into looking after a person with the threat of ones living being withheld.
I was sort of "fortunate" in receiving no payments from my ex. I didn't need his help being young enough to work at the time. So..... I packed up the sons, the dog, the cat, the plants and we headed off for pastures new. 600 miles to be precise. Best thing I ever did, despite having no family over here.
You DO have a loving family. Can you move closer to them and out of Babes blackmailing clutches? And it IS blackmail, talking of dying and no one caring! Have you, if you haven't already, thought of a legal separation? You don't work being retired, and I think because of age, Babe will have to support you wherever you are. I do wish you the best of luck whatever you decide to do and I really feel that all this Babe and his nonsense will eventually put a strain on your own health. You got out of the marriage for a reason.
Anne0 -
At hospital waiting for results of CT Scan on stomach. Yes, I took him because he asked.
No offense Ann, I do understand what you said. I am legally separated through the courts but Babe gives me more than what was agreed. He also brings me many supplies so does a lot extra. I suppose I am afraid to stand up to him, but in reality I still love him. Thank you for your input. Sometimes I have to hear other opinions.
Sandy2 -
Oh My, Sandy big hugs to you. Hope all is okay with Babe. You are such a nice person you would have helped Babe even if you didn't still love him. We are here to listen to everyone's vents if that's what is needed. That is what good friends do and I think of you as a very good friend.
As I mentioned we are going away for the weekend. Ed still isn't 100% and has started antibiotics again. He did see th Doctor. I wanted him to have another X-ray but he wouldn't. Men!!!!!! At least he is having a nap right now.
Still trying to get in my 10,000 steps each day and mostly successful. Don't think I'll get them in when we go away tho. It is an 8 hr drive to C'oeur d'Alene. We leave Friday morning.
Buzz I too felt so good about the nice gentleman who talked to Mike. Gives me a nice feel good feeling.
Cheers to all
JERI
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I hope they find out what is going on. It stinks when you hurt. Poor Babe. It was good of you to take him for the test but I know you are very kind and you would help even your friends if they needed a ride. Hugs to you Sandy.
Okay so Tai Chi/Qigong this morning followed by errands. After lunch I got back to it and I am happy to report I have cleared the check engine codes. Now that I know how hopefully it won't take so long next time. The emission test appears to run twice during my use of a tank of gas. This is much cheaper than letting them poke around on the car for days. If it ever changes to a flashing light I will get it fixed.
Now, rain is coming down but REI has a presentation this evening on Yellowstone and I think I will go unless the weather worsens in the next 15 minutes.
Tomorrow is library ladies morning.
Hugs my friends. I love hearing all the stories you share. Thank you.
Lin
P.S. Glad Katie is doing well after the removal of her stitches AND happy the stairs are no longer a stress-provoking event.1 -
Thank you Sandy for the response. You got me thinking. Highly unlikely, but if C landed on my doorstep in distress would I take him in? Guess what, I have a feeling I would. It's nothing to do with the money, which I never received, it's to do with a loving past and memories and children shared isn't it, when it all boils down. Good for you taking Babe to the hospital, good for Babe helping you out more than he needs, sincerely hope all works out for you both in the end.
❤️
As for the going down of stairs, Jilly is very small, BUT we are taking one stair at a time, after all there is no rush for us, and she now dares to go down two of the four stairs. One giant step..........etc.
Anne.1 -
Update: the doctor called Babe's son and he wants him back in the hospital tonight. His aorta isn't pumping enough blood into his stomach or at least something like that. Babe gave me this information from his son. So because I said I wouldn't spend the night to take care of Daisy his son was going to take him but as an enabler I said I would stay, Babe beamed. Turns out Phil's daughter did get her period and is scared to death, so it is probably better for her to be with her mom without Daisy distracting everyone.
Not sure why I didn't let good enough alone but I knew this was important to Babe so I agreed.
Came home to pack an overnight bag and will be leaving shortly. They will run more tests and hopefully Babe will be home tomorrow. As much as he irritates me at times. I am not ready to let him go. Thanks again dear family, I really count on you to let me say these things I don't say to everyone.
Sandy3 -
Thanks Sandy for the update.
Marie
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Sandy, they're men, we are bound to get frustrated with them. Jim is grumpier these days. So I'm grumpy too, lol. We are both more relaxed at home. I've never heard of something like that happening. The body has as many wonders as it does not so wondrous. I was guessing some kind of ulcer, but either way, I hope they can fix the problem soon. I always picture Marisa as the little girl she was. Not anymore! I hope they prepared her for her cycles. Enjoy your time with Miss Daisy. Wish you could take her home, but having experienced your landlady via your descriptions, I wouldn't want to do it.
Little pups are growing up, gobbling up everything their parents teach them. So eager to please and make you happy. I love that about dogs. Cats do it, when they want.
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Resting today, and laundry. Trying to get all 'truck stuff' washed so I can put it in the car, out of my way. Of course, it rained. I had rugs on the clothesline. They'll dry tomorrow, supposed to be about 90 degrees.
Lin, I am amazed that you figured out all of that check engine light trouble! I had no idea there was anything to do except go to the dealer. Hope I don't need it, but it's good to know. Glad you are enjoying the activities at the library. That's the sort of things I would be doing if I was retired. You're already winning Mahjong? That's great! It must feel good too. Like Buzz said, new things, never stop learning.
Jackie, Brady must think he's landed in Heaven O:-) ^_^ Maybe he has. So glad there is someone to help out with the vicious weeds. They are rampant here, Jim used the weed eater today, I'm so glad. I can never be sure if I am seeing poison ivy, or some other three leaf weed. I printed a photo but I get it confused. I'll have to force myself to leave home tomorrow for a few groceries and sugar for the pear preserves and for making hummingbird nectar. I guess I'll need more jelly jars too.
I haven't told Jim that I ordered a new smaller sofa and it will arrive tomorrow! He'll be shocked when they deliver it, and when I tell him we've got take take the larger sofa to Goodwill. We can't let him get bored can we? Lol!
Time to put in another load.
Phoebe1 -
SANDY, you are kind and loving, and I believe you attend a group for enablers, don't you? One cannot simply command "Stop loving"1 and you are doing the caring thing for Babe. On the other hand, he's a darn fool, allowing his idiot son and daughter to ruin his wonderful marriage! I might be more sympathetic toward him if he has at least SOME backbone regarding decisions he made, but at this stage in life, I truly think you almost have the best of two worlds! Except a young and beautiful woman like you might still enjoy a bit of romance in her life! Now back to reality.....
I must be up at 5 AM as we have transportation to the huge VA hospital where aside from Mike's appointment for a wheelchair, I have an appointment for the pharmacist to label all 45 pens and vials of Medication and insulin the state requires in skilled nursing homes. All his pills must be sent out to be individually bubble wrapped. 'Nite... Buzz
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The current state of play is snoozing pets and me trying to motivate myself to do some serious housework while the edge of a thunderstorm throws the occasional huge raindrop in our direction. The gardener hasn't made contact yet but then usually he just turns up at the door when he has an hour to spare so may have missed me while I've been out and about. Time will tell.
Phoebe ~ Another laugh out loud from me at one of your comments. I'm loving the philosophy behind your sofa order and certainly can't imagine Jim ever getting the chance to be bored living with you!! The obvious question is will the sofa be for the two of you or the pets? As you can see from the photo above my sofa has been taken over so I sometimes fined myself perching on an edge!
Sandy ~ Sometimes things have to be done for a quieter life so I'm thinking you taking Babe to the hospital AND looking after Daisy will reap rewards down the road, i.e his emotionally demanding kids won't have cause for complaint, not that I imagine they'll ever appreciate how important you being in Babe's life is and one day, who knows, Babe might show a little more appreciation other than financial. It's easy for me to say money isn't everything because I don't have much but I don't see that loving family of yours letting you struggle in any respect but if you still love the guy you are in effect between the proverbial rock and hard place aren't you!!
Patsy ~ I guessed Katie would get the stairs with a little firm persuasion because yes, she knew there were pastures new to rip up and toss about!! I bet she's having a ball investigating another level in her home!
Buzz ~ With all you have to do to keep a check on medications and all that goes with it I don't imagine you ever needing a jigsaw or puzzle to keep your mind active. Hopefully though calmer days lie ahead as Mike settles into his new routine.
I made the mistake this morning doing an early supermarket shop on nothing more than a banana for breakfast so now the fridge is full of food I wouldn't normally eat.... just have to spread the naughty items out over the coming week! The store had weigh scales on offer so I bought a smokey black glass one to replace my very old ones and was happy to see they show the same weight even with clothes on and 2 cups of coffee!! No swimming today because one friend is unwell and the other taking a mutual friend to hospital for an emergency mammogram and biopsy. Hopefully the news will be good for her because she's not had the best luck in life..... a "B" of a first husband who totally mixed up their kids in the worst possible way and they're only just settling into normal life since she remarried earlier in the year to a wonderful man.
It's now time for my lunch so I'll go and search my fridge for one of those naughty items!!!
Jackie
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Oh JACKIE, what a beautiful picture. It's as if Brady is bringing out the latent "motherly" instincts in George! I think cats are the loveliest of all creatures and your photo makes me want to rush out and get a kitten for our Jilly! No! No, Annie don't go there! You are already "bow legged" from one lively pup!
PHOEBE you had me chuckling as well, oh to see Jims face when the new sofa arrives! Even more priceless when he realizes he has to cart the old sofa to Goodwill! You obviously know how to handle men and I wish I'd known you and your example in the late fifties and sixties! Then I was your docile little wifey! Before I discovered, surprise, surprise, I had a backbone in the nineteen seventies.
SANDY I hope you wake up to a better day than yesterday.
We went for our morning walk in what can only be described as steamy jungle. Not a sniff of any other dog walkers, just a few listless youths hanging around the bus shelter smoking ciggies. That was quite early and Jill and I have decided to hole up for the day with the air conditioning just forays into the garden. I washed my hair earlier and it now looks like a brown/grey Afro. Jilly thinks it's an untidy birds nest. She burrowed into it with her sharp little claws when I got on hands and knees to recover her milkbone from under the sideboard. She doesn't like going under the sideboard because of a cross piece on which she cracked her head. Of course the sideboard is a magnet for balls and biccys.
You have to laugh at this spell check. Biccys became bicycles!
It's a good day to do some washing of clothes methinks.
Hoping to hear how Sandy and Babe made out.
Anne.1 -
Jackie, love love your photo. One question, if that is George and Brady on Scruffs blanket, where is Scruff? Sleeping on bare floor, lol?!
So sorry for your friend with the emergency mammogram. I've never heard of that. I hope it won't be the big C.
Anne, picturing little bit melting the hearts of burly teenagers. Or defending you by nipping at them! Yes, stay cool thru these last hot days.
Time to get to it
Phoebe1 -
Ah yes PHOEBE, "Little Bit" the great defender. The other night we came across a group of oriental gentlemen outside the church. It's Anglican but It is loaned out to various groups. These seemingly perfectly nice chaps wanted to pet her and for the first time ever "little bit" shot behind me and was peeping at them from between my legs! Normally she bounces all over everybody regardless of where we all originated, Chinese, Caribbean, Canadian, all much loved by Jilly, who just wants to play. So why was she scared of this group? Perfectly normal men who all laughed and said "oh she scared of us."
Another mystery to solve. I love mysteries.
Anne (Marples)1 -
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Scruffs-Snuggle-Comfort-Reversible-Chocolate/dp/B00ORNZ64Q/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1472141614&sr=8-8&keywords=scruff+dog+beds
Phoebe ~ The name of the blanket is sheer coincidence but Scruff won't be allowed anywhere near now that Brady has taken ownership!
Anne ~ George can still embarrass me by barking or growling (sometimes both!) at a total stranger for no apparent reason. It used to be black and white dogs but he seems over that little foible now!
Jackie1 -
Well I have not been able to get on here this afternoon. Finally did thanks goodness Was driving me crazy. I went to the doctor. She took me off of my pain pills She did not wont me on the pain pills for my Kidney. Go back in for weeks1
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We are still at the cottage, this morning went to another yoga class and it was cancelled. They said you should check the schedule before coming and I didn't . The instructor's babysitter cancelled at the last minute. I did get an email telling me about the cancellation but still fighting with WiFi so never read it in time. I am trying to keep my days in tact and I did get in a walk tonight. It is still very warm here and I did get out and do some fishing, but no fish for a fish fry yet. Kristina and John will be arriving tomorrow and we will have some company tomorrow because they haven't seen Kristina in a long time.
Let's see if I can find a picture of Isaac. I don't know if this will work Wi Fi is taking forever.
This picture is not showing it failed to load. Next time.
Shirley1 -
Latest update is Babe had 5 hours of tests today and tomorrow they are doing an angiogram with a camera to see what procedure is best. Either another shunt or surgery. Not exactly sure what the problem is but it has to do with his aorta and his stomach. His son and I have been texting with no problems, I haven't talked to him, nor have I seen him. He will let me know tomorrow if I should be there for the procedure. I am letting him handle all of the hospital things, I am taking care of Daisy. I did go to the hospital twice today, once to visit and the second to bring some fresh clothes. I am very tired as I did not sleep well last night but hope tonight is better. Will try to check in tomorrow.
Prayers are needed, so there is nothing serious and he can come home soon.
Sandy
One Day at a Time
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Sandy, glad to hear from you. I hope they get Babes issue resolved. Is this the cause of the dizzy spells? Well, Miss Daisy is getting some quality time with her Mommy. Hope you can rest better tonight.
Phoebe
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Just saw the latest from SANDY, and of course we are all sending our best and sincerest wishes on his recovery and your good health as well!
Our update: left for VA and 6:15 AM, arrived at 8:45! Went directly to pulmonary department as Mike had run out of oxygen and had no strength to breath! The gave him a replacement tank and we then went to Wheelchairs, where they fitted him for an apartment size motorized chair, and we returned home with him being happy about that chair. His room had an electricity problem so he was unable to nap in bed, and by the time I too him down for dinner, he had little strength to finish his meal. We left right after eating, though we loved the people at our table. I cannot figure out his health status, as it seems to change almost hourly! I guess minute by minute is the only way to get through what is happening without going mad!
Almost 2 AM and since I rose at 5 AM, I'm drooping!. ZZZZZZzzzzzzz! Buzz 1
