The New Water Cooler

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  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    Finally Friday. Nothing new, watching the temps soar and trying to stay busy.

    Hope things are well and you get to chat with the fams.

    Hugs
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    Laynie went home Wednesday with her parents. She is doing well. I will be watching her development but assume all will be well since she hasn't had any issues.

    I went to my sister's pool again yesterday. Very windy! We floated but leaves were blowing in the pool all around us. Everything we took out with the net was replaced by more.

    Today I went in to see my doctor for a check up. She updated meds, checked my back and chest for possible skin cancer on my request, and prescribed a stronger medication for my flare ups of arthritis. It is damp here with all the lakes and Lake Michigan surrounding us. I think the dampness and humidity affect my joints. Tylenol and Advil just don't take the edge off. I requested something I can take only when needed, no side effects of dizziness, weight gain, etc. and non addictive. I can't remember the name of the drug. I had never heard of it. I'll pick up at the pharmacy when they call to say it is ready.

    Russ and I went to some plant nurseries and checked out some bushes. We didn't buy anything but may go back next week when they get some we are interested in, in stock. We are meeting my sister's at a food truck in a little town in our county for dinner. It is Polish food (pierogies, schnitzel, cabbage rolls, saurkraut, etc.) and we want to try it.

    Very windy and my tomato plants need more support. I put baskets around some but need a couple more. This wind is drying out the containers even though I water a bit each morning. They need a good dousing.

    Any special plans for your weekend?
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    The Polish food was good but heavy. I love cabbage rolls but it took its toll on my digestive system over night. Today we went to a brewery and listened to music, had some beer and shared a pizza for an early Father's Day dinner and a date. Tomorrow I volunteer for the 4:30 show at the local small town theater. It is still Jurassic Park so I won't be watching the movie since I saw it last week.

    I had told Chantrelle that if she needed me to come to AK when the baby is born to care for Halen to let me know. Today she texted and asked me to do so. Her mother will be going to Maine to help her sister who is having a second baby. So I will be using some of our miles on Alaska Air and flying out in October sometime. Due to the baby's abnormal heart, they will be delivering in Anchorage rather than Homer. They plan to rent an Air BNB in Anchorage so that is where I will stay and care for Halen while they are at the hospital. I would love to be there about 2 weeks so the distance isn't such a factor but we'll see what they want.

    Tomorrow I need to cut the tomato baskets to fit the garden and get that situated. It has been windy for 3 days and I didn't check the plants today. Hope they are all still alive and upright. I'll go out there tomorrow morning and provide care.

    Hope your weekend is great. Any Father's Day plans?
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    Short stint volunteering yesterday. I filled drinks, we sold about 15 tickets to the movie, ate my free popcorn and went home. Easy peasy...

    My sister brought us dinner yesterday so that was nice too. We had gone to a brewery Saturday afternoon and had pizza and beer for an early Father's Day date/time together since I had my volunteer shift on Sunday.

    Temps are rising up to 90's today. It rained in the night so that should help the garden. My sister and I are heading north for the day on Wednesday to ride a different trail. It will be much cooler there so it's a win for us.

    Russ and I are taking his truck to the mechanic today to see if they can find out what happened when it was hooked up to the camper. Something in the computer system of the truck we think. Hope they can find it. I will follow him to Traverse City and after he drops off the truck we will find a place to eat dinner. I'm not familiar with restaurants there so I need to do some searching. We don't want to go downtown this time of year due to tourists, traffic and parking.

    I imagine it is hot in NE.
  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    Super hot. I love cabbage rolls but haven’t had them in forever. So glad to hear that Laynie went home. I think it’s great that you can go up and help with Halen and get some special time with her. What a treat that will be. Sounds like you had a great weekend.

    Yesterday was a blur. I threw up seven or eight times and I am now sitting at urgent care for a strep test. I would have gone in yesterday but stomach was too iffy. But I’m pretty sure it’s strep, my tongue is completely white today. Bleh. Don’t know where I got it from. Hopefully the antibiotics help quick

    Good luck with the truck

    I love hearing all the fun things you are doing
  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    Negative strep and negative Covid. Just a virus. Sigh. Even longer before I’ll probably feel better. Bernie is traveling for work this week and I didn’t realize it until today. So that’s fun. Caleb finally has his advisor meeting tomorrow. That will be a relief to get taken care of.
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    I'm sorry you feel so lousy. Are you back at work or home? Rest and fluids is what my mother's generation always preached.

    We took the truck to the mechanic to be looked at yesterday. No word from them yet. After we dropped it off we went to a brewery for dinner. We hadn't been there before. The food was excellent! We will go back at some point.

    I've put those baskets around my tomatoes so they don't blow over in heavy winds are supported as they get bigger. Everything is growing like crazy. The Thai Pepper plant has lots of mini peppers growing, the basil plants need to be picked and so do the chives. I've picked some lettuce but am letting the lettuce I planted from seed grow bigger and fuller.

    Tomorrow is my bike ride with my sister on a trail north of us we have never ridden. I hope it is pretty. I've read we ride along a lake for most of it and end up at Lake Huron in Cheboygan MI. It will be woodsy, water, pines, etc.

    I just watered the pots at the cemetery. They are looking great but were dry. Charlie went with me again and peed on one of our pots this time. Luckily just on the pot and the creeping Jenny plant cascading over the side. I put water on the plant and then doused both pots. On the way home I stopped at a farm stand that had fresh, local strawberries and bought two quartz. Yum! We have vanilla icecream in the freezer so a strawberry shake sound good on this very hot, humid day.

    I hope C likes his advisor and gets a good class schedule. Is Bernie liking his job?
  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    Caleb seems pretty content with his schedule. He has calculus, physics, intro to engineering and some sort of renewing energy class. Nothing before 9am. He said Monday and Friday are pretty chill, Tuesday and Thursday are pretty terrible and Wednesday is very chill (his words). I’m glad he’s content. Hopefully it all clicks for him. It’s going to be a lot of work. I hope it’s fun too.

    How was the bike ride?

    Still feeling punky (as my grandma would say) but back at work

    Not quite as hot today but warm enough
  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    hair day today and doc and dentist appointment for Caleb. I have been feeling 'meh' about my hair, hopefully I don't do something silly and regret it.
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    We completed 36 miles round trip on our ride. I am so beat. I've taken my shower and am sun burnt on my arms. The weather was beautiful with sun, a breeze, low humidity, and a beautiful view of Mullet Lake for 3/4's of the ride. The lake was huge! I had never been to that area as an adult. The little towns were so cute and old time cabin resorts along the lake and old/new cottages. So pretty! We packed our own lunches and ate at a picnic shelter at the halfway point. I haven't ridden that far in one ride before. Russ and I use to ride about 30 miles when we were in our early 30's but now I am not in the shape I was then. Becky and I are trying to push ourselves to ride more miles and try different trails.

    C's schedule sounds intense but balanced over 5 days. I'll be curious to know if he likes his renewable energy class. Rory enjoyed the solar/wind info he got in his sustainable energy class in college. That's what lead him to take the Solar Program in CO after college.

    I get my hair cut tomorrow and get a pedicure. Spa day! Did you change your hair? Russ' truck was fixed today at the horrible amount of $850. They found the problem so hopefully we can go on our next camping trip the first week of August.

    I'm fading so I'll touch base tomorrow.
  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    That’s a lot of miles!!! Hopefully you aren’t too sore.

    The only change in my hair is I did more foils in the underneath because I feel like the base has been getting too dark.

    Caleb was needing some shots so he had a couple today and another boost in a month before school. Some meningitis and tdap and whatever else doc said. He’s feeling a bit sore right now hopefully ok tomorrow.

    Rest well!
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    Not as sore as I thought I would be today. That's a good sign. My garden is going gang busters! I sprayed the plants with an organic product that is suppose to repel the bad bugs that kill off tomatoes, etc. We will see if it was a good move. I harvested some chives, basil, thyme and rosemary along with more lettuce today.

    I went short with my hair. It is a stacked wedge (chin length or slightly shorter) with sweeping bangs. I thought it would be nice to have it off my neck for summer. A fresh pedicure always feels good too.

    I am drinking a Bloody Mary with a big dill pickle and relaxing. I rarely have a cocktail at home but do love a good Bloody Mary. We will have a salad with our garden lettuce to accompany a pasta dish tonight.

    I hope you have had a good week. Tomorrow is Friday!
  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    do you freeze or dry your herbs? Or are you able to eat enough of immediately fresh?

    I have tried a couple of times on some basic herbs but wasn't really pleased with the results. I just don't have the stick to it-ness.

    I think I have only had a Bloody Mary once, but remember enjoying it. Right now, it sounds delicious!

    Bernie should be traveling back to Nebraska as I type. Good, bad or indifferent - I didn't miss having him around a bit. Of course, nothing broke down and that's usually when I 'need' him.

    Fireworks are starting - boo.

    Next week we all have eye appointments. That will be an expensive week. I think I have a change in mine so will want glasses, Caleb will need another year's contacts and maybe glasses depending and Zach new glasses. Yikes.

    Hey Friyay!
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    I haven't dried or frozen any herbs yet. I've just cut basil as I want to use it. I need to research and decide what I want to do about that. Today I cut some basil and had a Caprese Salad for lunch. That was yummy. I'm going to make Bruschetta for Sunday eve appetizers after I get home from my volunteer shift at the theater. I'll use fresh basil for that. I should read about it tonight so I can decide what I'm going to do as I harvest these herbs.

    Chantrelle, DIL, is really sad about her pregnancy and having a baby with a heart defect. She will have chromosome testing in a couple of weeks to look at genetic syndromes to rule in or out. I have looked up some of them and wowzer! Down Syndrome would be the best case scenario from what I can see. Prayers it is just a malformed heart and not attached to a syndrome with multiple issues including extreme mental and physical impairments. I'm so worried for the baby, the pregnancy, and what life is going to bring to this child and his parents. Making it through the pregnancy and life expectancy after birth are also issues depending on what dx happens if there are chromosome abnormalities too. The program I worked for in MN served these kids and their families. My brain is going to worst case scenario and I need to stop but am so worried.

    Good luck with your eye exams. It does get really expensive when all need glasses. They cost a fortune. Is Bernie happy having to travel? It sounds like it is good for you if nothing breaks.

    I may attempt some freezer jam with strawberries if I can find the instant pectin at the store. Russ bought 6 quarts of fresh local strawberries today. He washed, sliced and packaged for the freezer. I'm thinking strawberry shortcake, smoothies, milk shakes, pie...

    Enjoy your Saturday.
  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    That has to be so stressful for your son and DIL and you too. You are all on my heart and in my prayers.

    The bruschetta sounds yummy. And definitely the strawberries too!
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    I can't find instant pectin for the freezer jam so I will plan for it next June. Russ has frozen a lot of strawberries for our use.

    Chantrelle texted and told me her doctor thinks the heart issue is minor and is saying no syndrome is attached to the heart defect. They haven't done testing yet so I don't know what she is basing that statement on. Previous blood work from 12 week appt? I will portal with her tomorrow and see what she has to say. It would be a relief if they are sure no syndrome is present. They are still going to do the amniocentesis to gain more info.

    Charlie and I went to my sister's pool today. It was hot so it felt good to float. He hunted squirrels and chipmunks in the woods and then sat in the shade. I'm trying to get him use to her and her house since she has agreed to watch him when we got to Mpls. It was good to see he came to her when she called him. It cost $75 to fill my tank today. Wow!

    Hope you are having a good weekend. I'll fill you in on what Chantrelle has to tell me tomorrow.
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    We portaled with FL and AK families yesterday. It was good to see Laynie on the screen sleeping in her mother's arms. I have yet to see her eyes open. She is little and wrinkly but seems relaxed. Karah said she spits up after eating and said it could be reflux. Two of my boys spit up quite a bit. Miles is jealous and very fussy for attention. He is getting in to things and climbing on table tops to gain parents attention. They are persevering with enforcing his limits. He goes to daycare and loves it so he has something special for himself which is good.

    David was home this weekend so we got to see him when we portaled with Chantrelle. That was a nice surprise. Halen is talking and combining two words together. Not easy to understand but I picked out some of her words. She is infatuated with moose because there was a Mom and baby in the backyard a few weeks ago. She watched them out the window and now wants to check every day to see if they are there. Chantrelle and David look exhausted! David gets about 2-3 hours a night when fishing because it is round the clock activity to get the fish. A friend of his from MN is fishing with him this summer so he has help. Chantrelle has been so worried about the baby I doubt she sleeps well. Her OBGYN told her the three syndromes (Trisomy 21, 18, 13) are not a factor with her baby. She must be going off first blood draw to determine that. It doesn't mean there aren't more issues besides baby's heart but the amniocentesis will give more info. If they determine baby needs heart surgery after birth, they will deliver in Seattle. They will no more by end of July and then I can book a ticket.

    How are you? Our weather is so up and down with temps. Today is in the 60's but mid week will be high 80's. It must be the effects from Lake Michigan that causes daily fluctuations to be so extreme. We are surrounded by the lake on a peninsula and there are many inland lakes too. Very hilly...

    I hope work is less boring or you are finding possibilities to apply for.
  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    I bet you were thrilled to see David in person. I can totally understand how exhausting this time is for both of them. Aside from 'normal' working and parenting tired there is that deep worry tired. It does sound like there was a bit of positive news so I hope they feel like things are looking up and that having a plan eases just a bit of worry too. But I'm sure so hard for you as mom to see them wearing thin. I doubt I'll ever get over wanting to be able to 'fix' things and make life easier.

    It sounds like both Halen and Miles are perfectly normal getting into things, 'chatting' and getting jealous. Normal is so good isn't it?

    Nothing much new, another turn around the sun.

    Here's to another week!
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    Rain predicted but somehow we rarely get it. Sunny and warmer today so I may try to fit in a ride before the "rain" arrives.

    The garden is still alive! I'll be relieved when I finally see tomatoes and peppers thriving. Fingers crossed! I've been using my fresh basil to make bruschetta. I love it on bread and can eat just that for dinner. Yesterday I took the last of the fresh strawberries that we bought and made a strawberry syrup for ice cream and shakes. Russ is buying ice cream at the store this morning so I will taste it later.

    We are invited to my sister's house for the 4th. She is going to have a picnic dinner with Russ, me, my two cousins and one of their husbands, my other sister and possibly my niece's family. The parade is at 3pm but I'm not sure if we will go or not. The crowds are huge for such a small town but it is a cute parade.

    I really need to clean my house! I've been lazy and piles have accumulated in addition to dust and dog hair. Ugh! My mother would be appalled, haha!

    The Lake Michigan beaches are full of dead alewives so there are black flies and it stinks. I have yet to go to the beach due to the situation. I'm hoping they are gone later in July. It is cyclic. The fish come in every so many years and are pretty gross. Part of the lake's ecosystem I guess.

    What's new for you and your family?

  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    We finally had some rain last night. I haven't looked at my garden since two days ago so I will check this morning. My sister and I are going to ride today. I rode about 10 miles yesterday by myself. It was very windy, so I had to work in the lower assist. Today we are riding less traveled county highways for a different view. It will be very hilly so I'll see how my bike and legs perform.

    Russ just left for a job interview. I think he wants more structure and he wants to pay off the generator we had installed for the house last Fall for power outages. Peace of mind when it takes awhile up here to get your power back on and when we are snow birding. The job is for 20 hours a week and is suppose to be flexible. There were a couple positions so we'll see what happens. They may not be as flexible as they advertised. I told him I'm going to FL without him if he can't go and gets the job.

    Another beautiful day after the rain. Have a great day.
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    Russ got the job and starts next Tuesday. He will work early morning 6am to 11am, 3-4 mornings per week. We will see if he likes it and enjoys the structure. He can tell them which days each week he can work and going to FL in February is not a problem. He will be filling in when others call in sick or they have extra orders to get out. I guess this company makes simple motors like those in a gas fireplace, etc.

    My sister and I rode 22 miles today on highways through the middle of the county. She had technical problems with her chain and new seat so it was a slow start. Some cycling angels stopped to help fix her chain so we were able to complete the ride. Our ride was hilly so I used all speeds of my assist going up and down hills across the county. My sister usually rides in front because she seems to ride fast and is way ahead of me. Today I was concerned watching her ride. I stay to the right as close to shoulder of road as I can so if a car comes up behind they can go around me. The inner county highways aren't heavily traveled but there are farm trucks, locals, etc that know the roads and use them to avoid traffic or get to the orchards. She was all over the road and hugging the center yellow line even when going up a hill. If a car came head on over the hill she would have been hit. She doesn't seem to hear cars that come up behind her because she doesn't move over. She has a rear view mirror on her bike but must not see the cars. When I caught up with her I asked if she was falling asleep on her bike or was something wrong. She said no and why? I told her she was weaving all over the road and hugging the center line on hills. She said it was probably due to her pedaling up hill. I noticed on and off hills but she didn't seem concerned. I told her she was going to get hit and needed to stay to the right. It was unnerving and I hope she doesn't have a bad accident this summer. How could she be so unaware?

    Well I hope you are having a good week. Dentist appt in the morning for a cleaning. Then I'm making banana pudding and may do a short ride on my own. Less stressful...
  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    I'm glad Russ was able to find something that is interesting to him, flexible and kind of fun sounding. Could be a good balance for keeping some cash flow and not the grind.

    The week is sliding away. In a few we head to the eye doctor. I'm already wincing. I know it will be glasses for me, contacts and maybe glasses (it's been a few years) for Caleb, and likely glasses for Zach. It's been an expensive summer and haven't even done anything. Ah well. Maybe I'll get lucky and this pair of glasses/Rx I will love compare to this pair that I am annoyed by most of the time.

    That sounds scary about how your sister was riding on the road. I'm not sure I would be able to handle it. Too much added anxiety for me.

    Sounds like the folks want everyone at their place Sunday night. I'm surprised since it's so dry I would think dad would be concerned about starting a fire at the farm. We'll see.

    Bernie said he was approached about becoming the Process Engineering Manager. The other once left to pursue ministry of some sort recently. I could tell he was really proud for the offer. I played devil's advocate and reminded him of how much he hated 'managing' and the political games that ultimately caused his last downfall. I'm sure he'll take it. Just something else to worry about. He was enjoying being in a less ambitious role and now he'll be back to, "I can't handle any more, I'm so stressed."

    Hope all is well, gotta go spend a bunch of money.
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    Good for Bernie but I hope it goes well. More pay? If he takes it, he shouldn't complain to you.

    Did you all get new glasses? I can't believe how expensive they are. My insurance doesn't cover the glasses so it is a big bite in the budget every two years or so. I hope my eyes stay stable now.

    The garden is doing amazing. I now have peppers and tomatoes appearing on all the plants. I've been harvesting lettuce and basil and need to cut chives, rosemary and thyme. I think I will freeze some. I hope the irrigation works while we are in Mpls or my garden will be ruined if it doesn't rain. I may have to ask my sister to check on it a couple days into the trip and let me know if we need to turn on irrigation or have her water. The system will delay for rain but then rain does not come.

    I made the banana pudding. It is huge! We will have some after dinner tonight.

    Something ate some branches off my Peony Bush. Ugh! It isn't blooming this year and I gave it food but no luck. Now something is eating it for dinner. It is old so I may pull it out in the Fall and maybe buy the hot pink one I want next spring.

    Riding with my sister does give me a small level of stress. Road riding may not be worth it with her. I was too nervous waiting for her to get hit. No fun! Too windy to ride today so I'll see about tomorrow. I may try to ride to Traverse City and back on the trail which would be 30-32 miles.
  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    The B thinks I am not showing the proper excitement or support for him. I guess I should be jumping up and down clapping (and it's not that I don't get he is proud of the offer) I am just a realist for how this is going to go.
  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    the folks want to have a fish boil Sunday night. I don't know what that is, but sounds not my taste.
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    Fish boils are usually a one pot meal. We call them Dump Dinner in our family. There are different variations...they may be made with shrimp, crawfish, lobster (only one of these), small red potatoes, small corn on the cobs, kielbasa or polish sausage, pea pods, etc. A seasoning such as Old Bay or a Crab Boil Seasoning packet is put in the water for taste. We also serve French Bread and butter at each place on the table. The table is layered with newspaper and pot is drained and dumped on the paper in the middle of the table. All get a wet wash cloth (messy because you eat with your hands). That is how we do it. I'll be curious to hear what yours is like and what you eat and how it is served.

    At least B expressed that he feels he needs more support. That is a step to communicate. Is he taking the position?

    I washed my car today. Then I made Bruschetta for later. I also bought some Rose wine today and made myself a Frose (frozen wine with strawberries) and sipped it on the deck while I read my book this afternoon. Kick off to the 4th weekend. It is National Cherry Festival starting tomorrow in Traverse City. The Blue Angels (Navy) are here with their jets and will be doing a show over the bay tomorrow and Sunday. They have been practicing for a couple of days and have flown over our house twice. It is loud but so fun to see them fly over. I'm hoping I can convince Russ to kayak along the shore of the bay tomorrow afternoon while they are doing their show. We will be able to see it from our kayaks at a distance. He is always so busy with his "chores" in the yard and his wood projects. We need to get out on the water this weekend.



  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    Oops! I posted before I meant to. I didn't ride today because it seemed windy. My sister asked me if I wanted to ride tomorrow but when I told her I wouldn't ride on the highways on the 4th weekend due to too many tourists, she didn't respond to my text. Even the trails will be crazy this weekend with tourists renting bikes. I'll wait or ride early by myself.

    What plans beside the Fish Boil do you have this weekend? Nice to get Monday off.
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    We kayaked yesterday on a small inland lake. It was a beautiful day to be on the water. We decided not to launch on the Lake MI bay to watch the Blue Angels show for the National Cherry Festival. The show was only going to be 30 minutes and we wouldn't be able to see clearly. They have flown over our house several times and that is pretty impressive. They should be flying over again today too.

    I weeded my garden tubs yesterday. So easy to do when containers are raised and I don't have to lean over. Love it! All is growing well but two of the tomato plants look a little wilted even though they get watered. They were the ones I bought at that plant sale at the organic farm. The ones I bought at the nursery are doing well. I'm trying to let them grow and not prune too much. Last year I pruned to early and I don't think that worked. As tomatoes start to grow I will prune to allow sun to get to them better. It is all trial and error for me.

    Today I need to go to the cemetery and clean out some plants from the pots. Something has eaten them down to their roots. I'm going to pull out the bad looking ones and put something in to replace and spray with animal deterrant and see if that helps. I will also sprinkle cinnamon in them to keep chipmunks away. Last ditch effort. I'm not telling my sister because she is so negative! She called me after she watered the pots on Friday and complained about the animals eating the flowers. Every suggestion I had to fix it or what to do different for next year was negated. I'm just going to do what I want and she will see it when she goes to water on her turn. Then she will insist on paying half even though I decided to do on my own. She drives me crazy sometimes.

    I volunteer this afternoon at the theater. They are playing Minions so I won't be staying to watch the movie.

    Happy July 4th celebrations. I hope your fish boil goes well.



  • mizpaden74
    mizpaden74 Posts: 3,880 Member
    I am ready for everyone to be out of my house. Including Bernie.

    Bernie took off immediately after work on Friday to drive a couple of hours away to visit a childhood friend who is ill. I am expressing my pissy attitude not because he shouldn't visit ill friends, but because he can't even inquire to my health or well-being - ever. Because anything about me is too stressful. He didn't make it home until Saturday morning. And then slept all day. Then he spent the entire day on Sunday helping a different friend a couple of hours a different direction tearing up carpet. Good for him. Aside from graduation preparations he hasn't spent a whole day on his house in years.

    Caleb had plans with friends Sunday night and Zach had homework. I wasn't interested in driving to Wayne by myself since I hate the 4th anyway, I was in a mood and frankly didn't want to interact with anyone. I stayed home.

    I guess I should try again to talk to Bernie if he wants to actually be married and that if he does he actually has to put effort into it. If not, then he can leave. He'll say he's not the problem. I am too demanding and nothing he ever does is enough. And guess what. I'm not leaving my house. It will be paid off in a few months. Do you know who did that? Me. Bernie hasn't paid a bill ever, even when I begged him to take it over. So, yeah he may make more than me, but I have paid for it.

    He applied for manager job.

    Hopefully your deterrents kept the pests away.

    It is so hot right now.

    I think I would enjoy seeing the Blue Angels as well.

    So, yeah, my mood is black as my heart.
  • jrbanta
    jrbanta Posts: 4,430 Member
    Sorry things aren't great right now. I applaud your decision to confront Bernie about staying married and working on it together. If he projects blame to you only and doesn't agree to do his part, it will be hard to improve your relationship. It's a common story that the guy deflects it back to us and can't self reflect on their own short comings. I'm guessing he doesn't have the emotional tools within himself to self reflect or at least admit when he is a contributor based on what you have said about his family history. Hugs to you and remember you can only change yourself, not him. Do what is best for your own emotional health and happiness if he can't meet you half way. It's difficult, but change or keeping the status quo are both hard in their own ways.

    I made Ina Garten's Pan Fried Onion Dip and served it with Ruffles Potato Chips at the 4th gathering. It's one of those crack dips that you can't stop eating. I'd never made it before but it is good if you like onion dip. It was a hit. Russ made his Calico/Cowboy Beans which were also a hit. Everyone likes them and they request he bring them. It was just adults at the gathering because my niece and her family were with friends with kids. More fun for her little girl. We had a nice dinner and conversation on my sister's deck until it started to rain. My cousin Polly, age 72, has been diagnosed with Macular Degeneration. She is losing her sight and can't drive now. She lives in Traverse City so my sister picked her up and I drove her home. She is grieving and so scared about losing her sight. I feel bad for her. Her siblings have died and her Mom died last August. She took care of her Mom for years and as sad as she was losing her and being the only one left of her immediate family, she felt it was now her time to do what she wants. Now she can't drive and has lost that independence. I will have to make a special effort to call and ask if she wants to do lunch, come out and spend the night, or take her on errands. She has a lady that will drive her places one time per week but has to figure out the vision issues and adaptations in her home, etc.

    I talked to my sister and she asked if I'd been to the cemetery to pick up the pots. I had to tell her I replanted with plants she does not like but the rabbits don't either. She did not offer to pay half, which was fine. She said she will continue to take her turn watering if they live. I've added cayenne pepper to the soil in addition to the cinnamon and rabbit repellent. We will see how many weeks we get out of these plants. I'll remove the pots if they get eaten.

    Russ started his job this morning. He was gone by 5:15 to start at 6am. I set my alarm and showered, fed and walked Charlie and then sat on the porch with my coffee. Rained last night and humid today but there is a cool breeze. It's also foggy this morning. When we were walking, Charlie stopped and saw something in the distance. I noticed it too. Either a fox or coyote that looked to be limping. I told Charlie to stay and he sat and waited. The animal heard me and must have gone in to his den in the ground. We didn't walk into the orchards due to wet field and grass. I will need to wear my glasses to be able to see what we are avoiding or want to watch.

    Well I hope your week gets better. Hang in there!