The New Water Cooler
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Yesterday we went to an outdoor brewery/brew pub in town and sat and had lunch and some of their craft beer. We invited my brother for dinner and ordered pizza and then had a fire and made s'mores. We stayed at the fire late. I went in before the kids. It stormed over night and the rain was coming down in sheets. This morning lightening hit something close by and we could smell something burning. It was so loud and scary. We lost power for a short period of time. It cleared up before noon. The kids and I went to some wineries and a cider place and sat on their patios tasting a variety of their products. Russ stayed home to cut up the hot tub and ready it for the dump.
I do not know how to communicate with Russ. It is such a challenge. We don't speak the same language. He wanted to make tacos for dinner. We were going to go winery hopping. We said we'd love tacos but didn't know when we would be home. I texted him from the first winery and said we had a few more we wanted to go to. I told him he didn't have to cook if he was tired but if he wanted to make the taco meat and chop up tomatoes and lettuce, we would put them together when we got home. He said he was fine cooking and to take our time. So we were excited for tacos to reheat the meat and assemble them. We got home at 7:30. He did not make the meat or prepare any of the tomatoes/lettuce, etc. He acted miffed we had not gotten home earlier. I guess he thought he would wait until we got home and then cook although I said go ahead and make the meat and we will reheat. So I ate left overs and the kids went out for dinner. Russ is sitting in the recliner in the other room and not being social at all. Talk about miscommunication and passive aggressive behavior. I even invited him to join us at the cider place (up the road about 5 minutes away) but he did not. I really don't know how to communicate any more clearly than I do. He does not listen or makes his own interpretations from what I say. Very frustrating!
I'm glad Z is excited about his project. What does C think of school and the rumors going around?
Have a nice night!
Jenny
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Waiting for c to get home from work. I can’t go to sleep (like Bernie so easily can) before the chick is back in my nest. It’ll be a short night. I’m not really sure what Caleb thinks about the rumors. He does say it will be hard to do his classes if he’s not at school.
I hear you about the struggle to communicate Wish I had some magic but my relationship is anything but magical.
Just soak up your kid time for now. It sounds like you guys have had some fun stuff already.
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sigh - not Friday. Yet.0
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Yesterday Russ uses a saw and broke up the hot tub so he could put in his truck and take to the dump. The kids and I went to a few wineries and one cider place. It was fun. One of the wineries is owned by Madonna's father and step mother. They were at the table next to us and thanked us for visiting their winery when we left.
Russ and Rory took the hot tub debris to the dump in his pick up. Russ was throwing the stuff into the dump pile and fell off the bed of the truck. He broke a bone in his heel and his fibia. It was his right leg which is his good leg. He had shattered his heel in his left foot 10 years ago when he fell off our roof. So Rory drove him to the emergency room. I traded places with Rory so he could go tubing on a river. Russ is home with a temporary splint. He will see an orthopedic doctor in the next week or so. He will laid up for awhile. I think he is accident prone.
Well I hope all goes well for C and school.
Jenny0 -
I'm sorry to hear Russ took a fall. It might be clumsiness, or partially age too. I know I am already finding my balance isn't nearly what it was. I mean I used to easily stand on one foot to put shoes on, and now I raise one up and immediately start tipping over. Hopefully Russ will heal fast. Hugs for you. I know you will bear the brunt of it too!
Sports are starting (volleyball matches and football games kicked off) - I don't care if they play sports or not, but if suddenly there are big pops of positive cases BECAUSE of games and then my kid can't go to school because he was in a class with said player - I am going to be PISSED.
I had emailed guidance about his academic letter and top 10 percent award he should have gotten last spring (because hello, big deal and that should be awarded, and he should be able to join the "C" club even without sports) but her email just sent me over the edge. They are focusing on immediate needs and will try to get to non-pressing topics later. Mmmm... so immediate needs like sports??? Because you know you made sure the weight room opened, they had their camps, conditioning, games, practices, etc. All that is more important than academics which nobody worried about until the day before. Of course it is. It's not like you are a SCHOOL. "F" that. BAH
At least it's TGIF.0 -
I hear ya about school. C definitely deserves to get that award. Stay on their butts this year to get it. I think schools are floundering and it's all new territory no one ever thought of having to do. Anyone who works in a school is over whelmed. The lower on the scale of importance you are, the less you are informed I think. It seemed that way in my old school district.
Russ is in a funk with his injury. He can't see doctor until Thursday. Tonight I will wash his hair and he can take a sponge bath. I don't think our shower floor/tile is safe when he can't bare weight and put his foot down. We don't have a shower stool because he through a perfectly good one in the dumpster that I had bought for him when he fell off the roof. Such a waste! He just doesn't value what amount of money we pay for things. He over buys food that then had to be thrown out. I just cringe at the money wasted.
Rory left yesterday for Mpls. He wanted a day of rest before going back to work Monday. Jeff and Karah leave this morning for Wisconsin to spend a week at his Dad's lake house. He doesn't seem thrilled, but they are going. Two of his brothers will be there and one's wife and baby so that will be nice. I can't figure out this adult relationship he has with his Dad. He describes it that his Dad has little interest in interacting with him. That is how he perceives it.
I'm going to take some stuff I borrowed from my sisters and return it today. It gives me a break from Russ before I'm home cleaning and doing things for him the rest of this week.
I hope you had a good weekend.
Jenny0 -
I'm sure Russ is all sorts of funked out. You guys have just started on your Life 2.0 and everything has been all sorts of fun and exciting (at least it sounds like it). And now he is on the sideline for the next many weeks. It's a blow. Hopefully he heals fast. And you don't tear your hair out.
My weekends have become so weird. I look forward to them like a diver swimming up and up and up trying to get back to the air, but then on the weekend I get basically horrendously depressed because there are only a few hours before 'it' starts over again. Ugh. Just so hard right now. I have all these big plans to declutter, or clean (not necessarily exciting, but I do feel better after doing) but then I just sit down and barely move again.
I am so happy you had a good visit with your boys. Wonderful!
Here's to finding some joy here too.
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I grocery shopped with a list I made for meals I've planned to make. As you know, I don't like cooking or grocery shopping. I've walked Charlie 3 times today. Basically I walk slowly and he runs back and forth smelling bushes and looking for rodents. My feet and knees hurt. Last night the neighbor texted to see if Charlie needed a walk. So nice! If she does tonight I'll send him out again. I had just walked him when she contacted me last night.
I made Goulash tonight. I doubled the recipe and froze a container for a future meal and made up a meal for both of my sisters. My brother doesn't eat meat. They are thrilled to get servings because they live alone and don't like cooking for one.
I'm going to get together with a friend I haven't seen in over a year on Wednesday. I want to see her new house and she can see mine.
I'm sorry work brings you down right now. Do you see yourself doing that job until retirement? Are there other options in your area?
It was wonderful having the kids here. They said they will come back at Christmas!
Hang in there!
Jenny0 -
There are definitely jobs here in C-town, but it often falls under, "the devil you know..." I half-heartedly look around, but it's unlikely anywhere else is better.
Maybe you will start to enjoy cooking a little more now that you don't have to do it after a long day at work.
Later!0 -
I think my knees are too far gone to enjoy cooking. It's hard standing at the counter for long periods of time. Tomorrow is a honey garlic crockpot chicken and veggies. Easy to dump in and let it go until dinner. I'm not cooking on Thursday unless it is eggs and toast or grilled cheese and soup.
I've been walking Charlie 3 times per day. The morning one is the longest. Afternoon is short and tonight I took him out on the acreage and let him explore and smell things. I saw deer tracks so I assume he smelled their previous presence. Every bone in my feet hurt! The neighbor just stopped by with one of those icing machines when people have surgery. Russ is going to try it before bed. She then took Charlie out for a walk with her dog, Roxie. Nice he got a long one tonight with them. He's tired now.
Well I'm tired. I need tylenol before bed.
Jenny0 -
ugh - my sister just had to have a talk with me about that mom and dad are looking at being almost 200k short for the expenses from the accident. Just like I was worried about. She is going to talk to them Friday and hopefully get some clarity. He is talking about selling some of the land and/or equipment. That will put Michele in a bad place since they need the equipment to do the work on the land Michele has - and so now she has to decide if she can come up with the money he needs. I know I can't do that much. Plus, it will tie her more to work/work because she will need the actual money. What a freaking mess. A couple of years ago they could have 'given' us the land (still retaining use) but didn't and now it's too late.
Honestly, I hope it has to get sold to someone else, but I'm afraid my sister and brother in law will kill themselves trying to fund it and then work it yet too.0 -
Wow! That is too bad about your parents. Are those medical expenses for the other person or your Dad? Do they have medicare? Scary at their age to have that debt. Can they get enough from the land?
Charlie is off with the neighbor and her dog again. What a Godsend! I can see him on GPS running through the orchards having a great time. Lucky dog! My crockpot meal was good. I would make it again. Russ sees the ortho doc in the morning. Prayers for positive news on the fractures and no surgery hopefully.
I got together with two childhood friends today who have summer homes up here. I hadn't seen one of them in two years? She and her husband just bought a house a couple of years ago up here so we went to her house, out to lunch on a patio, and then to my house so they could see it. Nice afternoon! Another friend brought me a beautiful purple Mum planter today as a house warming gift.
I'm trying to entice Jeff and Karah to come back this way on their way to Atlanta. Since they are working remotely, they could work from here. I am hopeful but guess they would go straight to Atlanta to look for a new apartment and put in their notice to leave their current place. One can wish...
Well I hope you can both figure out your parents' situation without going into debt for them. That wouldn't be good.
Two more days and the weekend!
Jenny0 -
the expenses are just mainly dad's. The accident was ruled 'no-fault'. (BS since that guy hit mom and dad on the back panel, meh). So these are just dad's bills. I'm not sure exactly what their medical insurance - I'm sure some sort of Medicare with probably something supplemental, because they have a lot of medical issues and most places love to see them come because they have good insurance. Medical insurance. This all has to go on the medical portion of their auto insurance. You know there is that line on your policy medical coverage with a flat dollar amount attached to it. Most usually it is 250k/500k - but you can 'cheapen' it to the 100k/300k - but with any sort of major medical care that just doesn't cut it. That care flight came in over 60,000. Just for the 20 minute shuttle. The hospital was just over 100k, plus all those other costs - ambulance, therapy, meds, etc. I know it saved his life, but that's why you can't low ball it.
There is plenty of money in the land. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 350 to 400 acres (not all farmable) and what is the going rate? 3,000 to 6,500 an acre depending? I'm not really sure. But that was supposed to be their safety net for the next 10, 20 or whatever years they have. (Even though we encouraged them to not keep it all in their name or they would have to sell it or lose it to debtors.) But they didn't listen to us. Supposedly the primary goal was to keep everything in the family, but everything they did is making that nearly impossible. I'm afraid Michele will risk her financial future to bail them out (she has done a lot of wise investing for 30 years) - to what end? What happens when the next tragedy strikes? I am finally a little bit more set, but I am frankly unwilling to risk my kids education and my retirement. Maybe I can go in on the one homestead, but GAWD this pisses me off. I mean they aren't going to change and stay home more and be careful.
Once again, I feel like the evil child because I am loathe to crack open my piggy bank. But I spent the first 15 years married basically dead-even/broke all the time because we were just making it. I didn't carry debt, but getting ahead was not really happening. (Plus all the money down the toilet for his family I had to spend). Finally in the last few years I have been making progress and not feeling broke. I actually have the 6 months emergency expenses, plus each putting at least 10 percent away, plus the vacation fund. It is finally a good place. I can buy presents.
My opinion, (because I don't really have any attachment to it) is sell the farmable acres at the Pender place and keep the homestead (this is where my dad was born.) Keep the Wayne properties and equipment. The land left would then be the ones closer together so less equipment movement, the Pender land is harder to get to, and a neighbor wants it anyway. Off course, any farmer with the money would want it. But, I really can't picture dad selling it. And if he does he will probably go off the deep end of losing his farm. No win.
I sure hope you get to see your other boy soon! I need to get more serious about getting some new crockpot meals. On the days Caleb has to go from school to work I like him to eat something and having it ready in the crock pot would really be nice.
Good luck at the doc for Russ today.
Take care of those knees. Maybe you should have a new doc check them out again.
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T.G.I.F.0
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Wow I hope your parents make some good decisions about the land to cover their medical costs. You absolutely should not risk your family's future to bail them out. They made their decisions and need to deal with it as much as possible. They can't expect you to give up your security for their mistakes. I wouldn't want my kids to do that for us.
Russ liked the orthopedic doctor a lot. Unfortunately, surgery is the only way to go. I was not allowed in the appointment due to COVID but was on speaker phone to listen and ask questions. His ankle is a mess. Out of alignment from his leg by at least an inch. Several cracks in his heel bone and breaks in some small bones in the ankle in addition to his fibia. The heel and ankle have to be repaired or his walking and balance will be worse than it is now due to his injury from his fall 9 years ago. He's in a plaster cast this week and will see ortho doc next Thursday. Surgery will be scheduled for the following week. This will go on into October with casts and boots. He had his first shower tonight. It was scary because he can't get his cast wet or bear weight on his broken ankle/foot. I basically wait on him, do chores, cook, walk the dog, etc. right now. I asked the neighbors to walk Charlie tonight.
Tomorrow I have a lunch date with my girl cousins and sisters. We are sitting outside and social distancing at my cousins lake house/patio. Afterwards I hope to meet my two friends at a winery before going home to my "chores" and helping Russ.
Jeff and Karah are going back to Atlanta to give notice on their loft and rent a new apartment in the suburbs. They don't like being near downtown anymore with all the protests and riots going on. Atlanta is a hot seat for COVID and unrest.
I went to Costco the other day and bought some prepared meals from their deli to help me get meals on the table. We eat some and then I freeze the rest for another meal later. Working well for me!
Labor Day weekend but no plans due to Russ' leg. Just my cousins' luncheon. End of summer...
Have a good weekend,
Jenny0 -
I'm sorry to hear it is going to take surgery and so much time to get Russ back on his feet as it were. Hopefully the process goes smooth and YOU can handle the stress you will be absorbing as well. It's good to know the doctor sounds good.
Having a Costco near will be a help for you if you like the food options they have. Take the help where you can, right? Do you 'have' to walk Charlie? I mean, is it just activity for him you are trying to get, or that you have to be with him while he is outside because the area is unsecured. Either way, it's good you have friends who are helping.
I bet it eases your mind too that Jeff is wanting to get away from the unrest. That would be unsettling to say the least.
I didn't mean to imply that my parents expect me to give them money, it's just that us buying the land would be one way to both get them the money and keep it in the family. Not that I can really can. Maybe a few acres. For them, since they also never were ones to accumulate debt, I hope they don't rush into a decision. They could work out a plan with the hospital. I mean that hospital deals with many who are totally indigent, so what if it takes the folks a couple of years. It's better than selling off prematurely. Dad will have this years crops (plus several bins of last years), that could be a decent chunk. Even maybe taking a loan against some of the land - while risky, yes - you would still have the option to sell it off if need be. I don't know. Maybe one of the lottery tickets will come in.
Another anniversary, another disappointment. Wednesday was our 25th anniversary. As per usual, it was just another day. Glad I held off of getting Bernie anything, I was looking at a smart watch among other things. On Saturday he finally goes, "so it was today right?" I'm like, it was Wednesday. He keeps on, no it was Saturday. Ummmm, yeah it was a Saturday 25 years ago. And that was it. He has taken off the last few Friday's because he has a bunch of vacation to burn, he could have done a bunch of cooking, hasn't done any. Really all I wanted were some nice flowers, maybe a cup of 'good' coffee and some food I didn't have to cook or clean up. Obviously, as usual my expectations are too high and I am never happy with anything. I don't know why it still gets to me.
Surprisingly Zach didn't come home this weekend. I just hope he isn't doing something stupid. I am glad he is enjoying his college time, but I will always worry. Caleb just reached his two week mark of school. The softball coach tested positive and the team was sent home from school, don't know if it's for the two weeks or until tested. As long as they don't make Caleb stay home because he sits next to a couple of the players.
Just hanging out. Supposed to be over 100 today and then 50 by Tuesday. Nebraska!0 -
It sounds like your parents have sources of revenue to begin paying bills. Relief if they make the decision to use them.
I wonder if Z's friends were staying at school so he decided to also. I found after freshman year, the boys didn't always come home for the long weekends. They used them to study when the dorm was quiet, work and hang out with friends that didn't leave. He may just want to relax.
Was C exposed to COVID? Does he have to be tested due to the proximity of those players he sits next to?
We are having cool temps at night (50's) and 60-70's during the day. I'll take it! I hope we don't get 80's and 90's again this Fall. It's cooler than MN here due to the state being surrounded by the great lakes. In MN we got the heat from the planes of the Dakotas and it never seemed to end until the first snowfall.
25 years is a big milestone. Some men just aren't good at acknowledging the big dates or thinking about gifts. Some are great at it! Russ is not good at receiving gifts and it makes the exchange very uncomfortable. On our 10th anniversary he forgot completely and when I gave him an engraved signet ring he weirded out and wouldn't accept it since he didn't get me anything. I was so ticked that I said I wasn't going to exchange gifts with him anymore and I haven't. Did Bernie see his parents celebrate one another's birthdays and anniversaries with gifts and cards? If not, that may explain it.
A friend came over today and we walked Charlie and then sat on the front porch talking all afternoon. She was my best friend in middle and high school. We've lost touch over the years as she got in to some weird beliefs but she seems to be "normal" again. It was a nice visit.
It is suppose to storm over night and has been windy for 3 days.
I hope it doesn't get to 100 for you. Stay cool and try to take a day for you.
Jenny0 -
The weekend was low key. Saturday I went to my girls' cousin's lunch. We ate sandwiches outside and then took a pontoon ride on the lake. Afterwards I joined my two friends on patios at a couple of wineries. Sunday I saw my friend from high school and yesterday I did chores and watched Hallmark movies. I've been doing the cooking, cleaning, walking Charlie, etc. so I don't get to relax too long.
Today the plumber will begin to change out our toilets and bathroom fixtures. He was delayed this morning so hopefully will get here about noon. I imagine it will take him two visits now that he lost the morning to a service call. It will be nice to have higher toilets and non corroded faucets, drains and shower heads.
Today is cold and windy. I have a feeling winter will be early this year. Strange weather changes all over the west and midwest. Colorado was expecting snow! Northern MN had a freeze warning last night and people in the U.P of MI are turning on their heat. I really hate to turn heat on until October if avoidable.
Our neighbors have been walking Charlie for us in the evenings if I haven't already taken him out. They have been walking through the orchards and picked fresh peaches for us. Tonight I'm making a peach cobbler as a treat. Dinner will be a chicken/veggie hot dish with biscuits. Last night I roasted a whole chicken so I could cut up the cooked chicken for tonight's dinner. We ate some of the chicken last night that was roasted with carrots and potatoes. The Costco meals were great for us. I was able to freeze the extra Alfredo for another time. We finished off the chicken noodle soup and croissants.
Well I hope your weekend was relaxing and stress free.
Jenny0 -
so on Sunday my dad called sounding all depressed and asked us to drive up for dinner. They had also convinced Zach he should drive over. It kind of annoys me. I get things are are tough and he is depressed he isn't back where he was and now there are bill worries, but you know what? I don't need them spreading the depression around. I have enough of my own emotional issues, and then I sponge up his too, so I am very down today. The visit was fine, of course it improved his mood because he got what he wanted. The visit and to make me stressed out. It doesn't sound like Michele was able to visit with them. I don't know if they didn't want to sit with her, or she changed her mind. We haven't had time to get into it.
Zach is just having a good time with his pals, and actually working hard in his classes - I am going to be even more unhappy if the folks start pulling him away to soothe their depression.
Since we have not been contacted by the school to be told Caleb has been 'exposed' he keeps going and we just have to assume it's fine. Most likely the players are fine. I think it was the coach who was positive and the players are just out as a precaution.
One of the older guys in my team (probably 65) got himself tested late Friday because he had a 99 temp. He has been very worked up this whole time, his wife is very stressed all the time (she works here too) and we figured he was just stressing himself again. His test came back positive. His only symptom so far is a mild fever. I feel so bad for them, wonderful people and very nervous about all this. Hopefully it is an easy go.
And today it is 50 and raining. Crazy.
Glad you made yet another renewed connection. It's amazing to me how easy you do that.0 -
My connections are people I have kept in touch with over the last 40 years. At least yearly or every few years. These women are the kind of friends that it doesn't matter how much time passes, we pick up where we left off. There are many years I know nothing of their lives and they don't know about mine. I did not watch their children grow up and they have never met my boys. But we've been friends since 10 or younger so there is history to build from.
I made the peach cobbler. I took a little taste and it is yummy. My sister brought Russ and I a piece of an apple bundt cake she made. I will give her some cobbler. The plumbers are working in the master bath first. It will be nice to have a high toilet so Russ is able to get on and off with his bum leg.
I hope for Z's sake they don't pull him away from school too much but it is also nice he is close by to lift their spirits and spend time with his grandparents. I'm sorry you feel so stressed. Does your coworker testing positive affect you at all?
My friend's son thought he had COVID and was tested. She was with him 12 days ago so had to let me know I may have been exposed. She felt bad. Luckily he tested negative and she has no symptoms either. I tend to think it is just a matter of time until I'm exposed. So far I know no one with COVID nor anyone who has died from it. I'm glad my older siblings are ok.
Well take care of yourself. Is there anything you can do to let some stress go? Walking, gardening, etc.?
Jenny0
