The New Water Cooler
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Is Michele mad at you about something or just caught up in her own stuff and didn't cope well and share what was going on with you?
I'm baking a loaf of sourdough bread. I added in garlic powder, sharp cheddar cheese and Everything Bagel Seasoning. We tasted it and wow! Very good!
I had written up notes for my siblings organizing the info the detective in CA gave us on my brother. I sent it to my 3 siblings and then my brother's daughters wanted viewing rights. I hadn't intended for them to see it but my brother shared the email with them so they requested viewing rights. So I sent it to my boys, niece and nephew so they all had it even though that wasn't the original intent. We aren't sharing the gory details with our closest cousins and aren't telling friends at this point (except you since you are my confidant). Well my nephew in Portland has a big mouth and must like to spread info like my middle sister, Becky. He has told his Dad who has been divorced from my sister for 30+ years and his friend's Dad who is my sister Lynn's good friend. Now they are emailing me for viewing rights of my notes!!! WTH!!!! My sister Becky told my cousin Polly the gory details and now she has told another cousin because they all just won't wait until we are ready to share. I called Lynn and told her to tell her son to stop gossiping and not to call me. This is turning into a circus. What is wrong with people?
Well rant over. I'm feeling some anger right now at those that blab to others and can't keep their mouth shut even when they are told to do so.
Dinner is smelling good. Russ is roasting a chicken.
I hope your weekend was good. Hang in there with your sister and work. What job did she find?
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People just love drama don’t they. And it’s so strange how people have become used to feeling entitled to digging into things that aren’t theirs to dig into. A side effect of the social media age perhaps. Hopefully the lathered interest will die down soon.
I really don’t know what to say about everything with Michele. I don’t think it’s about me, it just makes me feel like….. I don’t know that all the years of supporting each other was a lie. That there must be something wrong with me that she had to cut me off. Intellectually I should know it is not, but it sure feels like it.
Spent most of today watching football since Zach is into it. Just sitting on the couch with him. That’s all I have to look forward to. Bernie refuses to ask about how I am doing because as usual he has no interest in or ability to deal with emotions. No husband and no sister. The cheese stands alone0 -
Have you been able to tell Michele how you feel about it all and ask her if she is mad at you? Maybe a frank discussion will clear the air and let you move forward with some healing.
Organizing my brother's cremation, getting him here, burial, etc. will be a process. What next? I would rather be oblivious to tragedy and world events in my retirement and just float along being content. Not going to happen...
I talked to the local funeral director this morning to gather information to seek out mortuaries in CA for cremation. More to it that I was aware of so the journey begins.
I'm going to Power Books this afternoon to help out. This will be my last time until April due to surgery.
High 30's here so snow is melting. It's nice getting around without icy sidewalks and roads this week.
Well Happy Monday and stay tuned for more of my family drama!!0 -
I know we will have to talk it out at some point. Not sure how to not come across like a brat who doesn't want her to try for a better situation. While I have every reason to be able to 'feel the way I feel' - she obviously has the same.
Hope things are settling down for you.
Today we finally have a meeting with our new 'leader'. The guy who is retiring in a month. Can't wait to hear what he has to say. I am trying desperately to train Amber (another gal in the team) to at least be able to run my programs, but she doesn't have time to spend much with me - maybe an hours a day - and I can't even get through a quarter of my stuff in training mode in that amount of time. Stress.
2024 is definitely not off to the start I was hoping for!0 -
I hope things get better soon.
I went to water aerobics with my sister Becky today. It was a great class but there were 28 people in the pool for class! Way too many but we managed. Then I went to my sister Lynn's house to pick up her walker and some paperwork on my brother.
Tomorrow I have PT and Russ is going to drive with me so we can do some shopping afterwards.
I've started the series This Is Us on Netflix. I never watched it when it was a hit show so I'm watching it now.
I need to make calls to mortuaries in CA and find someone to cremate my brother and send him home. Retirement has been full of death and illness since we moved here. I had this idea that we wouldn't deal with family death and caregiving for several years but it feels non stop. The ups and downs of life I guess.0 -
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I didn't sleep well last night. I've been up since at least 4am tossing and turning and decided to get out of bed at 5:30. I didn't call mortuaries yesterday since Russ and I were shopping. Today is the day when I get home from Aquafit. I'm dreading making the calls and asking the questions. It is going to be expensive to cremate and fly him home. That is if we find a place that will do it. I know this is a huge character flaw, but I am really tired of taking care of family deaths, cleaning up siblings homes/estate stuff/etc. My brother Steve was single with no children and his house and financial records were a mess. The house alone took us weekly visits for 4 months to sort and clean out the house. Bruce was probably a transient most of his life or may have had family that weren't looking for him, but that would be hard to believe he married or had kids. Now we incur the costs and figure out his post life stuff. Lynn is single but her daughter and son will hopefully take care of her belongings, funeral, etc. I asked her if she had her affairs in order and she said she needs to fine tune some things. I would be surprised if she has dealt with any of it. Becky is widowed, no kids, and I am her power of attorney and medical person. If she passes away, we have to take care of all the details because she has no children. Brad has 3 daughters so they will make plans for him and do what is necessary. It is amazing to learn how life works as we age and all that we need to tend to for ourselves and others. It is just overwhelming! Russ and I really need to pre plan and pre pay for cremation and make some decisions. My will states what I want but it is at least 7 years old. Now I have grand children and have a different home.
I will go to the 9am class and push myself to exercise hard. Maybe that will work off some of my frustration with all
of this
Two weeks from today is surgery. I have PT next week to get a refresh on walker and cane, a pre-op with my primary doctor, and then an appt with the ortho surgeon the day before surgery the following week. I'll try to get to the Y 6 more times and continue home exercises for strength. Clock is ticking...
I hope you have had a better week.0 -
It is so stressful isn't it. No good words, but I'm sorry. Will your siblings help with the cost? I know for me, I often tend to worst case things in my mind - maybe/hopefully it won't be nearly as consuming as you fear. Sending good thoughts.
The meeting/talk with our team and the (I'm going to call it Interim) leadership was.... I don't know. Kind of BS. Basically they want us to continue, 'business as usual' while they try to figure out what tasks can be done without. Mmmmhmmm. And probably going to 'decentralize' (Behlen is made up of multiple business units and our team was always centralized - working for the good of the company as a whole) - while some of the team easily fit into specific business units - I don't. But don't worry Marla - you have a place. Mmmhmmm. Oh and our interim leader is also retiring in less than three months. So, still lots left to figure out.
New knee day is really racing up.
Keep getting to the Y am get those workouts in.0 -
Great aerobic workout this morning. My favorite Tuesday instructor subbed at the 9am class today. I plan to get to
water yoga tomorrow.
I spent the afternoon on the phone to cremation societies and funeral homes in Santa Barbara County. I had a list of questions and each person I talked to was very kind. Explaining my transient brother is in their morgue and has been deceased 1.5 years is weird. It won't cost as much as I feared to cremate and send him home. Then we have burial costs and a grave stone. My siblings and I will split the costs 4 ways. Tragic and sad...
It is hard to know if you will have a job long term from the comments you shared. They sound so unorganized with no direction for the company. Would it be beneficial for you to start looking too? Maybe the pay, PTO, etc. could be negotiated in a new job and won't be the reduction you fear.
Life seems to be throwing a lot of lemons lately. Hang in there.
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Here’s hoping you had a productive day. Maybe once you get the arrangements settled things will settle down.
Glad to get through the week. Obviously I am on the job boards every day looking for things for Zach, but also keeping an eye out for myself. My strange set of things I do aren’t going to be common postings. One day at a time.
And, hey, it’s Friyay0 -
Do your skills give you a good foundation for picking up new skills in another job?
I zoomed with retiree friends in MN this morning. I hadn't joined the Zoom since before Thanksgiving. Life got too busy in December. It was nice to catch up with them. Jealous they are all south or west in the sunshine and warm temps.
We talked to David for quite awhile on the phone. He turned 36 years old today! Wow!!!! Halen also joined us on the call. She is so funny to talk to and quite the imagination. Since I didn't make it to yoga, I talk a walk. It was a beautiful, sunny day.
I made my calls to the local funeral home and the gravestone memorial place. Now that I have all the info, I need to summarize in an email for my siblings so we can decide who to sign a contract with for the cremation.
My brother Brad who lives in WA state sent an email out to all of us last night. He told us he has Chronic Low-Grade B-Cell Lymphatic Cancer. He is my last brother and is 71. He told us the cancer is not typically life threatening and no treatment but quarterly monitoring is recommended at this time. He said he is getting his affairs in order for his daughters and grandkids. This is the push he needed to do that. He said that the doctor told him people with this diagnosis tend to die from other causes. I hope that is the case for Brad and he lives a lot longer. What a week!!!
Tomorrow I prepare my sourdough to make bread Sunday morning and I will bake some banana bread too.0 -
Wow. That’s a lot of emotional stuff for a short period of time. It is good if it helps him buff up his overall health and take care of the stuff that will make it easier for his family.
Do you vacuum your ruggable? I have always vacuumed everything in my house including rugs because no one wants to pick them up several times a week. But I tried running the vacuum over my new ruggable and it sounded like it was trying to suck it off the floor. This could be a bummer for me
Getting ready to do my Saturday walk
Get your activities on!0 -
I do vacuum my Ruggables. I don't use my heavy, powerful vacuum but a plug in quick vacuum that also comes apart for hand held. It isn't very powerful. I'm not happy that my entry rug on a pad, slips. The floor is very slippery so that may be the cause. The one in laundry room is anchored on one side by the washer and dryer so it doesn't slip.
We went out with our farmer friends last night. Local place for dinner and then back to their house to chat. When we left the fog was so thick we couldn't see very far ahead of our head lights. It was late so by the time I got to bed, I didn't wake up until 8:30 this morning.
I just put a sourdough loaf in the oven. This time I put in sliced olives, swiss gruyere shredded cheese and a little flaky sea salt on top. It is fun experimenting with add-ins. I baked sourdough banana bread yesterday. I will take some to my friend and her husband at the nursing home today.
I hope you have had a relaxing, less stressful weekend. Good for you getting out for a walk. I need to walk today since I didn't walk yesterday.
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I have been trying to get Bernie to talk to me but he doesn’t. Always some excuse. I just have to shake my head. It’s honestly so ridiculous.
I’m guessing your regular sour dough bread is the texture of normal sandwich bread? So is your sourdough banana bread the cakey/muffiny texture?
My weekend was quiet but I was wishing for something. An effort on Bernie’s part I guess.0 -
Bernie must be a huge conflict avoider. Sometimes men, in my experience, don't see or feel the same issues/problems that we do in our marriage. Russ looks at things so simply sometimes. He isn't easy to talk to about "things to work on" unless he initiates the discussion. Typically we just float along and we each deal and accept that things don't change. We don't do the "work" and haven't gone to counseling. We have a good marriage but there are some issues like communication that could be better for both of us.
My regular sourdough is a work in process. None of the loaves so far would be good sandwich bread but they are great toasted. My banana bread is the texture of a quick bread, a little more moist. I bought a sourdough cook book and will try some of the breads in there. I found a recipe to make a sourdough sandwich bread so at some point I will give it a go.
Russ smoked spare ribs yesterday and made home made Mac n Cheese from Southern Living Magazine. It was decadent! I didn't over eat but didn't practice strict portion control either. It was a great meal. I'm taking some of it to my sister Lynn today. Russ cooks for a crowd!
I hope your Monday goes well.0 -
slowly sliding through the week
hope you are getting your activity in!!
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I had my last pre-surgery PT session this morning. We reviewed post op exercises, walker and cane use, making the house safe from obstacles, going up and down stairs, etc. Then I had my annual physical and pre-op appt with my primary doctor. They did an EKG and asked a zillion questions. Blood and urine analysis isn't back yet so I don't know if I passed for surgery. I assume I will.
I went to Hobby Lobby and picked up some more beads and clasps for beading on Saturday. I have stuff for earrings, bracelets and if someone wanted to put a necklace together.
No leads for Z yet?0 -
Well I’m trying not to get my hopes up but there is a glimmer of hope. There is another possibility at BD and the IT head (who interviewed Zach last time and really liked him) indicated to Bernie that he should put in. He has, so it’s wait time. He’s working on some more certifications and polishing up his LinkedIn. Just trying to stay positive
Especially when a guy at work lost his 18 year old son in a car accident a week ago. There are worse things than being anxious about the job search struggling. But yeah I’m still anxious. And maybe a little hopeful again?
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Good news for Z! No matter what if he has to interview again, it is great experience and practice. I hope he gets hired.
I took a short nap this afternoon and then my sister Lynn showed up to give me her share of the cremation costs that I arranged and paid for. Russ made a good dinner and now we are watching the Kids Baking Championship on Food Network. We've watched all the seasons. Typically some really talented kids, ages 9-13. This season's group is not as talented as previous season's kids.
What do you hear from C?
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I watch that KBC sometimes too. It’s crazy how many baking skills those kids have. I mean how do 10 year old know how to make frangiapan?0
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Dear Lord. A 17 year old boy who was having a mental health crisis was killed by a cop. In general I’m team cop, but how does a welfare check end up with a kid being shot during an emotional crisis. And I work with his mother. That’s two teenagers in two weeks. Just wow. That’s a lot of heavy tragedy0
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Hope you are doing well. I have never worked somewhere that has so much tragedy tied to it's people. The years I have been here I have seen more horrible things happen to our people and the people around them.
Dear Lord - our hearts are heavy.0 -
I don't even understand what frangiapan is, LOL! The kids are amazing and they never measure their ingredients, just dump it in the bowl. I have to read and re-read my recipe to get it right.
We had a lot of sad situations in my job too. I think when there are bigger numbers of people, it's more likely. But two shootings in two weeks? Wow! I believe in the police too but question their training. Yes, people are more violent and have guns in their possession, but to shoot rather than try to talk someone down? Crazy!
Yesterday was one phone call after another from the surgery center, primary doctor, CA cremation place, etc. I was frazzled by evening. I had to go to my sisters to help her do an E-signature and she was so flustered, I did it for her. She wasn't listening to my instructions so I took over.
Today I am making my first cheesecake, traditional kind. It's something I have always wanted to try.
Friday!!!!0 -
This kid didn't have a gun - he may have had a knife that he was holding on himself. But he was alone with two cops. Doesn't this seem like the time to utilize 'less lethal' in the form of a taser, bean bag round, or overpower him. I shouldn't be postulating as all info is not out, but this was not a violent kid. He was struggling with depression, in treatment. Just terrible.
I hope your cheesecake is yummy. I am thinking about going to one of the bakeries and getting a couple of slices for Zach for Val-day.0 -
Cop training has obviously changed. Career cops from earlier decades would report they may only have pulled their gun once or twice in their whole career. That is very sad.
The cheese cake turned out great! I also made the banana bread with the reeses peanut butter chips. Very good too. My sister is coming over to pick up some pieces of both since we shouldn't eat all of it. Sharing is good!
I need to organize my beading materials in a bit. Today is the beading event with my friend in the nursing home. I talked to her husband yesterday. He is working with an elder attorney to get her on Medicaid. He wants to move her to Suttons Bay where I live. She would be
1.5 miles down the road from me. That would make it nice to visit her more often. She really wants to go home and may never be able to do so but she does not know that yet.
How is C? Did Z get an interview?0 -
We just completed our applications for new passports. Ours expire in March.
Beading was fun with Sarah and Michelle. Lots of laughs and Sarah seemed to enjoy the crafting. She made a beautiful bracelet with minimal help. I have to redo mine today because it is too loose. We each made one bracelet and then were out of time. Sarah and Michelle's husbands were there at the end. We all sat in the diningroom of the nursing facility and chatted. At one point, Michelle says "did you ever picture all of us hanging out in the nursing home and chatting?" We all knew each other when we were school age so we had a good laugh. We plan to do another craft event at some point. I would imagine Michelle and Sarah will do one while I'm rehabbing. Sarah may be my neighbor in another month in Suttons Bay so I hope to see her more frequently.
Super Bowl Day! Is it a big event in your house? We will have an appetizer dinner and watch the game and commercials.
Enjoy your Sunday.0 -
Home Health delivered my knee bending machine. We brought up the shower chair, toilet bar, cane and cover for my knee when showering. I made a copy of my health directive for the hospital (they requested it). It's getting real! I go to the chiropractor in a bit for a badly need adjustment.
The sun is out today which is somewhat rare in the winter here. No snow so it feels like early spring.
I have been trying to organize some areas in my house (clutter build up) so I don't have to look at it and have it bug me. It's kind of like nesting before a big event I guess.
What's new in your world?0 -
That's great that the crafting/beading went so well. I hope you can do more of that with Sarah. Aside from the company, I bet it's kind of therapy too for her. Beneficial all around!
The weekend oozed by. I thought maybe we could do something, but Bernie had community service with work group and work Christmas party (no spouses supposedly). I didn't know about until he was gone for the day Saturday. I blasted him for not telling me, but it doesn't change anything.
Found another job posting for Zach to work on today. No word on interviews for anything else he has put out though. So stressful.
At least Monday is almost over.
Oh, did I mention two people in my team have bid on other jobs in the last two weeks. So, yeah, things are going great for the team. Soon they'll have their wish and no Mfg Systems team. I wonder what it means for me. Of course, I see in the weekly update how excess inventory is getting out of hand (something Michele made the teams focus on). It's just starting. In another month or two after nothing getting taken care of it's going to get really wild.0 -
I hope Z has an interview soon.
Chiropractor felt good today. I hadn't been since November! No wonder I felt out of wack.
I assigned ordering the grave marker to my sister Lynn. I am surgery prep mode and can't think about it. Tomorrow I get my hair trimmed, do a little organizing, dusting and walking, then pack my bag for possible overnight stay on Wednesday to put in the car.
Would you have wanted to go to Bernie's Christmas party? Do you know his coworkers and boss? Weird, no spouses but I've worked places where costs are kept down and just employees are present.
Shifts happening at your work. What do think it means for you? Are there other jobs to apply for within the company?0 -
I’m mad with Bernie because he made the comment when he was leaving for the volunteering that he would get groceries after and we could go to church Saturday night and out afterwards. Hmmmm…. Since he didn’t get home until after 10 pm obviously not. I said he lied, he said I wouldn’t have gone. Mmmmmm, I go to church more than him but get tired of going alone and an offer and not meaning it is disingenuous. Sigh0
