The New Water Cooler
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I ached all last night while sleeping. PT was tough but good. We picked up our favorite sandwiches on the way home, I ate and then got in the recliner. I fell asleep around 2pm and woke up at 5:15. I guess I needed it but hope I also sleep tonight.
I'm lazy and nothing new here. I hope you had a good day.
TGIF!0 -
I'm sure Caleb will work at some point. But I really don't want him to work at least the first semester. I just want him to do college.
I need to check back in with Zach, he was thinking about joining the IT help desk at Wayne. He doesn't need the money, but it would be great experience.
Today was not a fun work day. Just uck.
Caleb has a full day robotics tourney tomorrow. They won their last duel, so it will be fun to see how it goes. It's hilarious listening to him talk about his robot. Like a naughty pet. "Doesn't listen to me on the return, when I say put your arm down he puts it up." Plus a lot more colorful talk. ;>)
Caleb also told me that his music teacher has picked his quartet to work up a piece for district music contest. Not everyone gets the opportunity.
Hope you are having another week of amazing progress.
get it girl!
FRIYAY!
I need a beverage0 -
We told our boys to not work first semester either. Adjustment to the dorm, living with strangers, making friends, getting to classes and becoming familiar with the work load were enough to deal with.
It sounds like both your boys are doing great! You are raising nice, competent young men.
I slept fairly well last night. It is in the single digits outside with lots of snow on the ground. I have no special plans today so more of the same.
PT told me I'm doing great. My knee can bend to 120 degrees with him pushing it. The range for good function is 115 to 125. I can extend my knee to 0 degrees, fully straight so that is good also. We are going to work on stairs next and he wants me to wean off the cane. I don't need it in the house any more but probably will use it if I go out for support on snow/ice. I am guessing he will discharge me in 2-3 weeks. I don't feel ready though.
Russ is leaving me alone tomorrow to go with some local guys to a gun show a couple of hours away from here. He is not a gun nut but does like to target shoot. My friend's husband is a gun guy and he invited him to go to the show. Our neighbor's son who Russ has met is also going. They are picking him up at 8:15am. I am not worried about being alone but he is worried in case I fall. I had to encourage him to go when he was invited. I'm glad he decided to do it. He needs to get out and get to know some guys too. I plan to scrub the kitchen counters, sink, cabinet doors and appliances while he is gone. He is such a messy cook, although a good one, and does not clean to my standards after making a meal. It will feel good for me to walk in to a cleaner kitchen even if it only lasts a day.
We have a 3rd grand child on the way! I've known for awhile but it has not been announced yet. Jeff and Karah, Florida family, are due in June. Miles will be a big brother. They will only be about 14 months apart. You are the only one I've told. I'm not suppose to tell anyone yet. For some reason they are waiting until mid February when they have their ultra sound and know the gender. She will be 21 weeks by then. They will be a busy family! Russ and I are very excited since we wondered if we would ever have grandchildren and now it will be 3 within 2.5 years.
I should try to sit and work on my puzzle today. It is collecting dust.
Have a great weekend!0 -
Oh wow! Congrats on a new g-baby. How fun.
I wonder about the boys futures a lot. I do believe Caleb will end up in a relationship with kids. He is more willing to put himself out there and has a big need/drive to be with others. I really don't know about Zach. He can be so introverted. He is definitely more outgoing at school but still has nothing on the partner front. Ultimately, it's just about me wanting him to be fulfilled and satisfied and content. Of course you can do that on your own, but after getting out of school and it is just work, work, work I would fear about loneliness. Of course I'm with someone technically and still lonely....so....
But I do work with many IT guys who are the kind of stereotypical loner IT nerds and I know they are alone and lonely. They are my age and definitely feel partnership has passed them by.
Bernie and I did some talking about graduation and then I tried talking to him about if he is serious about needing to look for other job opportunities. He just shut down and walked away and said he didn't need me piling on his stress. He just pisses me off. Because me trying to have a calm conversation about something that does affect me is none of my business.
Don't overdo it cleaning.
Have a great day!!0 -
Rory went all through college without a girlfriend. He said he was too busy and didn't want the expectations of a relationship. He met Hannah a year ago after college. They are both 26. Now he is talking future with her and I know she wants kids. He seems thrilled by his niece and nephew so hopefully he warms to raising kids of his own. They change a lot between high school and working in the real world. Your boys sure have grown up.
What is Bernie's issue that he can't even have a conversation or answer a sincere question? It sounds like you must be talking to a wall. So sorry you have to deal with that.
Russ went on his guy outing today so I'm home alone. I have showered, started the kitchen cleaning, am icing my leg right now, and need to eat something. I've talked on the phone to a friend and one sister so it has been busy.
The sun peeked out for a bit and the guy is plowing our driveway and road. The sky looks dark so I'm guessing more snow to come. We have a lot of snow this year and it keeps coming.
Well enjoy your Sunday. Relax and do what you want to do. Congrats to C's robotics team!0 -
There is just so much with Bernie. I mean yesterday after the failed conversation (because talking to me is too stressful and yep that's not the only time I've heard that) later that night when Caleb got home and was talking about the event and making some outlandish comments and I was grinning and chuckling and Bernie comes over to tickle me and be playful. I shrug away and while I don't say what is screaming through my mind because Caleb is there - the obvious context for me is, "you don't get to touch me if you can't talk to me!" But of course it's just something else Bernie believes is a check against me - in that well you won't even touch me. I mean, come on. Sigh.
Anyway.
Glad to not live on the east coast. But we are going to have a moisture problem since we have not had much total snowfall this year. So looking like a bad year for the farmers.
Have a great day0 -
I wonder if Bernie coming over to tickle you is his way of saying sorry and trying to connect? Is he poor with words but wanted to join in your fun with C and that is how he attempted it? I wish he would go to counseling, both of you together. I bet it would help a lot if you want to improve your marriage. I feel for you though. I remember the loneliness and lack of communication with my ex. It hasn't always been easy with Russ either. He often thinks he is right and has a different take on things. It is easy for him to discount my perspective and feelings. I've gotten to the point that I don't try to improve communication because it seems futile. We just mosey along the way things are...they are good but could be better. I don't think guys understand that a woman's emotional bank needs to feel full and is part of the whole couple connection. It starts with good communication but that seems so hard to do and maintain.
I haven't paid attention to the extent of the storm on the east coast. I haven't watched the news in a month. I have no idea what is going on in the world right now.
My sister is making her copy cat Applebee's Oriental chicken salad and both sisters are coming to lunch on Wednesday. I made a point to tell her that a couple hour visit is plenty since I get so physically uncomfortable and need to move about, then rest, etc.
I didn't scrub the kitchen to the extent that I wanted to. It was a lot of standing and my legs got sore. I took breaks but managed to sweep, mop, wipe down the stove and fridge, and put some stuff away. The counters could have been disinfected but didn't get to that. Later in the day my leg was hurting so I iced and rested. It was a rough evening so I guess I over did it. I thought being on my feet more and moving about would help with strengthening and mobility. Russ thinks I've over done it with not using the cane this past week. He has no idea I swept and mopped. So I'm using my cane today to give me some stability.
Happy Monday!0 -
I have a feeling that you definitely did too much cleaning! I hope you feel better today.
I totally agree that Bernie was trying to connect, and I should have gone with it and accepted and reciprocated. But I just can't! I remember that from my counseling. If he does any little good thing, praise, praise, praise. I did that for years. But you can't pour from an empty cup. I have modeled and modeled and it's just enough. It' not even that I care that he refused to talk about his feelings about his work. It was once being told that talking to me is stressful. Nobody enjoys having stressful conversations but that's being partners. Sometimes you need your partner to carry part of your load. I'm still brokenhearted from his ignoring me when I was worrying about my skin cancer spot. Well, still ignoring me. I mean since he still hasn't asked me anything about it.
I just finally got the wellness app loaded and I think I may be able to find counseling through it. If I have I may look into it. I honestly just don't want to hear more about showing him with the positive reinforcement b.s. Because that doesn't support me at all. Feh.
I miss Applebee's. We got one in Columbus a number of years ago and it was good the first year or so until corporate left, and then it just got gross. But I love their spinach artichoke dip and the perfect margarita. YUM.
Didn't sleep well, so hopefully an early night for me.0 -
I'm also wondering if your cancer scared him and he couldn't engage about it. His emotions and how he expresses them or doesn't seem very dysfunctional. I would guess it has to do with responses from parents, relatives, siblings when growing up. You learn not to share or express emotion. On the other hand, why do guys need so much nurturing. Praise for what he does well? I get the concept but isn't that like Pavlov's dog? Operant conditioning? Give a treat to reward positive behaviors and ignore negative so the positive will increase and negative decrease? It's like how a guy needs to be noticed and thanked when they help around the house, fix the car, vacuum, do dishes, etc. We don't get thanked because it is expected but they do because it isn't expected? I thank Russ for a lot because I'm grateful he helped me but he doesn't thank me for vacuuming, cleaning shower, etc. He always makes sure to tell me he cleaned or vacuumed so he gets attention for it. Crazy!
Yesterday I was glum and tired. They finally came and took my knee motion machine. I miss it but am so glad I rented it for the 3 weeks. I have been able to sit on the couch in the den with Russ and catch up on Kid's Baking Championship episodes and Maine Cabin Master episodes. I can sit through two shows and then need to move about.
Today is PT and I'm actually looking forward to it. One to get out of the house and the other because my leg feels good when the session is done.
I hope you are having a good week. Hang in there!0 -
Dave, PT, had me go up and down a whole flight of stairs alternating feet! That was intimidating but I did it while hanging on to rails on both sides of stairs. He put me on a small trampoline with a railing and made me bounce side to side and back and forth on my legs. Not as bad as I thought it would be but not my favorite. My muscles in the back of my calf and knee were so tight and sore last night. I had to keep stretching them. I love sitting in a hot shower and just letting the water run over me. I feel so cold lately and the warm water thaws me out.
Today my sisters are bringing lunch. Russ is cleaning up the kitchen and vacuuming for me this morning. He really is a gem even though he likes to be acknowledged, LOL!
Yesterday the sun was out all day! It was such a treat. Today is gray and snowing again.
It's hump day!0 -
It sounds like you are rockstarring you therapy. Get it!! And a very good job on taking care after.
I am so happy to hear about how good Russ is treating you. You deserve it.
Hope your lunch is yum and not overtaxxing.
Caleb was in the paper (sniff, I don't get it anymore because they charge a ridiculous amount for a tiny local paper) doing promotion for their big dinner show for New World Singers. For a change I have plans for V-day!
It will be fun to hear the new pieces they have worked up and see in his new group Baker's Dozen. I heart so much his diving into these groups. I always thought/knew that both Zach and Caleb had the talent for the groups. Zach was just a bit too intimidated to go for it (but he rocked church groups) and Caleb finally went for it this year. I knew he had it in him and he is crushing it.
Hump day!0 -
Lunch was good and Russ ate with us too. They arrived in a frenzy because Lynn had spilled almost her whole container of salad dressing on her garage floor. She had to remake it when they arrived. I actually did pretty well. we sat at the table and ate and chatted, then moved to the living room for a bit. They didn't over stay and I was not over tired when they left. I probably was up on my feet quite a bit because my foot/leg was pretty swollen when I went to bed. It goes down in the night but is still slightly swollen this morning.
Russ and I are going to do some errands today so at least I will get a car ride. Charlie is riding with us so big excitement for all, LOL!
My oldest, David, turned 34 yesterday! Wow!
Rory's girlfriend, Hannah, is so sweet. She texted me yesterday to see how I was doing. She is a real cheer leader for me in this journey. She is a very up beat, positive person so she always gives me positive cheers. Rory got laid off for a bit. 'Tis the season in the trades...
I am actually wearing long pants again and manage to get them on by myself as long as they are stretchy or loose. I will continue to wear shorts to PT.
I have been thinking about biking a lot so I had a dream I was biking last night. In my dream I rode from my house to Traverse City with Rory right after knee surgery with the bandage on my knee. A friend showed up and asked to see my incision and when the bandage came off, my knee looked like raw meat. Then it progressed in to a dream about hiking but my incision was healed, I was just struggling because I'm not quite there yet. Funny, because I think a lot about whether biking and hiking are in my future this spring and summer. I hope so!
Well I hope you have a great day. Tomorrow is Friday!0 -
sounds like Hannah is a winner. It is so nice that she is checking on you.
I bet the swelling will continue for a bit, but I think you are doing great!
how was the car ride?
I just found out that Caleb's new acapella group will be participating in an honor choir in Wayne on Saturday. So I will hopefully head up there in the afternoon for the concert. If I'm lucky I will get Zach to walk over and watch it with me. I let my folks know too (they are all up in Wayne) so they can come too if they want. The only bad part for them is parking will not necessarily be close to the building the concert is in and they don't get around the greatest.
It seems the cold snap is on it's way out for a bit. Lots of crazy weather elsewhere.
Friyay!0 -
Negative temps today. I'm wearing shorts to PT so probably not the brightest idea but much more comfortable when doing the work.
The car ride was nice. I didn't go in anywhere but waited in the car with Charlie. The sun has been out this week and is out again right now. So cold and no clouds, a trade off, sun and no flakes falling.
Saturday will be nice for you to go see C sing. I hope Z has time and desire to spend some time with you watching. Could you pick your parents up at their house and drop at the door, then park? Or is that too much with distance, time, etc.?
Nothing planned here. The days are long when I'm not doing much. I should practice driving in the driveway and see how it feels with my leg, getting in and out of the driver's seat, pushing on the gas and break...
Well have a nice day. I'm off to meet my torturer at PT.0 -
Oh boy. I was just texting with sister. My niece's boyfriend had my sister and brother-in-law out to dinner last night. Alone. The 'may I have your blessing' request was made. Christian is going to propose. Well. It's not unsurprising. They have been together for over two years already. But, still, yikes. I can't believe we are here! Sometimes my mind screams, they're still babies! Sigh. Big stuff. You'd think Valentines day based on his meeting with Michele, but I guess it's going to be Feb 26. He's doing a scavenger hunt? And then there will be some sort of party after. Michele is freaking out a bit. She's trying to figure out what she is supposed to do. She of course said she would take care of it. I told her, you are going to have a hard time not agreeing to cover everything. She's the only girl. Let the games begin. Christian seems like a nice guy. Hopefully he is a good man. He went to Wesleyan like Caitlin and played on the golf team and has been employed by an Omaha golf course as an assistant manager or something. My current big worry is how the odd hours will wear on Caitlin. She works a more standard day like 7 to 5 - Christian will be working all sorts of odd hours. I don't think she'll like being alone so much. But life is full of uncertainties.
AND my nephew got a puppy last weekend. He has been waiting for over a year. He got himself a baby vizsla. Just like he had growing up. Her name is Penny and the pictures are cut of course. Glad it's them not me. No more puppies for me I hope.
I told Bernie he has to do the taxes and take over the deep cleaning today. We'll see what happens. I may be trying to start a fight.0 -
Congratulations to your niece and new puppies are always fun too!
Did Bernie clean?
I was miserable yesterday evening with nerve pain and my legs felt so cold. I put a heating pad on them and got under a blanket. Eventually I felt better. A good night's sleep and today is much better. Russ and I went to my sister's house. I went along for the ride to get out of the house and he fixed her broken towel bar and got Netflix back on her TV. Technology stuff is always getting messed up at her house but she says she doesn't know how it happens. She isn't techie but thinks she is to a point.
I've been reading and relaxing since we got home. Lazy day. I wanted to drive the car and see how it felt but the roads are snow covered so I decided not to do so today.
We are suppose to get freezing rain tonight or tomorrow. That will be hazardous so I won't be driving in that.
On Monday I'm going to call the chiropractor and get an appt for this week. My lower back needs adjusting and I should be able to handle it now that I'm in week 5 post surgery.
I hope you have a relaxing Sunday planned.0 -
Yucky migraine yesterday. I'm pretty sure because I didn't drink enough caffeine and/or water during the afternoon and evening Saturday since we were driving to the choir thing. I don't like to drink too much when traveling because I'm not great at going to long between bathroom breaks otherwise. But I probably did it to myself.
Bernie started and didn't finish big surprise. I only threw two things at him to start. Scrubbing the cabinets and oiling all the woodwork and scrubbing the outsides of the appliances. First he acted like it was a big mystery on what to use to clean the cabinets - I'm like any multipurpose cleaner (and then of course he uses the pledge even after I say that's not a multipurpose) - and when he was using the wood oil he kept letting it drip on the floor. I go you aren't letting that get on the floor are you? It's oil. I am going to kill myself when I hit those spots. He maybe did three cabinet doors. I'm guessing he realized it was hard work. I usually do that at least once a year, but haven't done it all since I got Covid because that and starting to go through menopause has really done some terrible things to my joints and crawling around on the floors is no bueno. I am going to make him a punch list and a deadline and then I will see what happens. I don't really want to try to find someone to come in because it feels weird. But I need it done. The baseboards are gross, all the window sills are dirty and the grout! Yuck. I absolutely can't do the grout - that it way too hard for me now. I always used to do all that on a day I would take off work to just do those things and so he would never see how long or hard those things are. In his mind cleaning is running the vacuum and dusting and wiping off a sink. Yes all those things have to happen, but I consider those touch ups. We'll see.
Hope you didn't get too much ice.
Be safe!0 -
Do you think men intentionally play dumb with chores they don't want to do by making a mess, not understanding the task, etc so we do it ourselves since it is easier? I wonder...
I haven't driven yet. I need to try it but just haven't done so. I'm a little nervous. I have PT today so not a good day to try afterwards. I'm thinking tomorrow is my start.
I just bought a ticket to see my favorite young musicians live at the Old Art Building in Leland near by. They are from Traverse City but live in Nashville now. They are getting noticed and tour around the country playing small venues and outdoor festivals. They have begun touring with other artists that have taken them under their wing. My sister and cousin invited me to go with them so March 6th is the day. Russ and I saw them in Mpls twice at a jazz club. They are called The Accidentals and have a drummer and the two women who play many instruments (guitar, string, etc.).
Well we have picked up free N95 and KN95 masks so we have a good supply to wear.
It's another snow globe day.
I haven't had migraines but friends of mine get them. They are usually down and out and have to stay home from work.
I hope you feel better today.0 -
I totally know he does things poorly that he doesn't want to do. He has done it many times in the past.
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Hair color/cut tomorrow. I am back to sleeping super poorly and having much more miserable hot flashes. I guess this crap goes in cycles. Stupid meno.
Zach's roommate got really sick overnight two nights ago and after watching the poor guy writhe in pain and throw up for a few hours, Zach took him to the ER in Wayne. Zach was not super clear on the dx, but said they said his appendix was inflamed and sent him off with a rx. I feel shocked if that is what is really going on, fortunately his folks came and got him and have taken him for another opinion. Of course down side to Wayne is super small town, super small hospital. Even though by age they are legal adults, they are still 'kids' to me and it's sad and scary to hear they were dealing with this. But I am so proud of Zach taking care of his friend. Hoping to hear later an update.
Take care!0
