2020: One Day At A Time, We Will Achieve!!
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Maryanne--I am so, so sorry! Cherish the memories; there are not sufficient words!0
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Dad died overnight. My baby brother said he went from incoherent to non responsive. I assume that was the morphine. So he didn't manage to die at home but only spent one full night and day in the hospital.0
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Maryanne--Again, I am so sorry. It is always difficult at any time but to lose a parent near a holiday adds to it.0
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Maryanne, I am so sorry for your loss. It’s a blessing that he went so quickly, but I’m sure you were not prepared since you didn’t know how sick he was. I pray your many happy memories will bring you comfort.0
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Maryanne, I’m so sorry about your dad’s passing. I’m also sorry you didn’t have more time to prepare yourself. Your dad probably had the best of intentions in keeping his medical condition from the family. That’s not uncommon for people to think they are sparing the family pain. Actually, it just delays the pain until after the person has died. Sharing memories with your sister and brother will help you get through this.0
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Since none of us have kids and we have no cousins, this branch of the family tree now begins and ends with the four of us. That feels weird.
I've talked to each of them today. I can't remember ever talking to all 3 siblings in one day other than a holiday. I broke the news to my sister after my brother failed to call her. Contacted dad's attorney to reassure the older of the two brothers that he really doesn't have to leave the house for 6 months (he's going to go to Arizona to live with my sister since he has neither the physical or the financial ability to care for the house). Suggested he might want to put a lock on the door of his room for when the bank starts showing potential buyers through and just succeeded in pissing him off for some unknown reason. Praised my baby brother several times for stepping up to the plate in the last few days but told him, no, there will be no memorial service until after the pandemic (we aren't going to host our own super spreader event). Gave each of them a lecture about seeing a cardiologist (two parents and an older sister with heart problems, duh). All during breaks from taking our Jack to the internist and fielding client and colleague emails. I am woman, hear me roar!
I am tired. I may eat chocolate tonight.0 -
Definitely, eat the chocolate. Sometimes we just need something sweet to help us through the hard parts. That’s nice that your sister invited your brother out to Arizona to live with her. Will your younger brother keep an eye on him until he relocates? I’m glad you have each other.
There are five siblings in my family. Two sisters had children. My brother, another sister and I didn’t have children. We live in different states. Because of the physical distances between us, I’m not that close to my nieces. I love them but rarely see them.0 -
I'm sure we'll all check in with him. It's weird. He actually has an ivy league education but just was never able to get it together to make anything of himself. My baby brother OTOH never managed to finish college but finally got a job as a surveyor. He became management, married, and bought a house. I think they both struggled with teachers, family members, and townsfolk comparing them to their older sisters.0
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Are you the oldest child? I know you’re a lawyer. What did your sister do for a profession? Your baby brother sounds like he was very self motivated. I hope your other brother was happy even if he wasn’t able to be professionally successful.0
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I am the dreaded oldest child (as is DH). My sister got a Ph.D. in inorganic chemistry from CalTech and ended up working most of her career at Rohm & Haas in Philly. Exactly what did an inorganic chemist do for them? Eventually management. What I really remember is how shocked she was after going through the Ph.D. process to find out what inorganic chemists do in the "real world".
"Rohm and Haas Company is a manufacturer of speciality chemicals for end use markets such as building and construction, electronic devices, packaging, household and personal care products."0 -
We are still planning to have Thanksgiving with my sister and her family. There will be 8 of us, so a fairly small group. Three of them live in the same household, one is a college student returning home, and two live together in an apartment. I know it goes against the CDC guidelines, but I also know that all of these people are being, and have been, extremely careful about social distancing and wearing their masks, as well as limiting unnecessary trips. I will try to keep my distance from the college student and the 2 who work outside their homes, and if the weather permits we will eat outside. My sister has a small kitchen so it will be impossible to stay 6 feet apart while we are cooking, but I will do my best.
Yesterday some of my friends and I had a birthday party in the park for one of our friends who just turned 70. Everyone brought their own lunch and drink. I had made cupcakes and someone else brought balloons, and we had all contributed toward a gift card from one of her favorite stores. She and her husband are building a new home, so the gift card will help her buy some new things for the new house. It was windy, so the balloons ended up flying away eventually, but they added a festive touch. We would normally have had a dinner party at one of our homes, but this was the best substitute we could come up with.
Today I’m making a couple of cheese balls to take to take for Thanksgiving. One is fairly traditional, but the other is made with orange zest and juice as well as dried cranberries and served with ginger snaps or butter crackers. I made it a couple of years ago for a party and it was a big hit. Tomorrow I will make the cranberry sauce, then probably on Tuesday I will bake a pecan pie and make the sweet potato casserole. My sister is having a turkey smoked, and she is responsible for the rest of the sides, as well as feeding us the rest of the time we are there. I’m also taking a blueberry lemon coffee cake for breakfast that I made and froze a month or so ago. We will definitely eat well!0 -
Good luck with your Thanksgiving gathering. I’d be most concerned about being near the college student. I hope you’re able to dine outside. Can you put the prepared food on a table outside the kitchen? Or or two people who live together can put things that need reheating in the oven. Can you bring your microwave oven to increase sources of reheating foods? I hope everyone wears masks indoors unless they can socially distance.
We’re staying home and having dinner for 2. I ordered a turkey breast dinner from a local market. It comes with all the fixings. I added a couple of vegetable sides that DH wanted. I’ll make him a GF pumpkin pie. We picked up the inner Wednesday and I just have to reheat things on Thursday.0 -
I just finished two weeks of working on every school day. The virus is making in-roads in our state and local area, so Thanksgiving Week and the week afterwards will be remote and virtual learning to limit the possibility of contagion in the school system because of Thanksgiving get togethers, plus deer season which is a major event of Thanksgiving Week.
I am the last of my siblings. I have some nieces but they live at a distance away. I was the first to graduate from high school. To make it worse, I went ahead to college. The family was proud of me but it was hard dealing with a college-educated person in the family. Of course, my sibling who never graduated from high school made major dollars, two to three times my income.
Thanksgiving? I will be doing it by myself.0 -
I spent a huge chunk of yesterday sitting at the eye doctor (the retina specialist). Hopkins sends several specialists out to an outpost in the northern suburb called Towson. Normally on specialist days you sit there for hours. The waiting room is full to overflowing and it's often almost a party atmosphere while folks kill time. I was concerned how they'd be dealing with COVID. It was weird. They'd taken probably 2/3 of the chairs out of the waiting room and there were often numerous empty seats. BUT I was still there 3 hours. DH thinks there's a secret waiting room somewhere they were stashing people. LOL!
They were obviously seeing less people so I have no clue why they were still so far behind.
They were being tough. No coming in until 5 minutes before your appointment. You'd better have on a mask and it had better be covering your nose. The staff was all in full PPE.
Anyway I didn't have any new retina tears and don't have to go back for a year.0 -
I just finished two weeks of working on every school day. The virus is making in-roads in our state and local area, so Thanksgiving Week and the week afterwards will be remote and virtual learning to limit the possibility of contagion in the school system because of Thanksgiving get togethers, plus deer season which is a major event of Thanksgiving Week.
I am the last of my siblings. I have some nieces but they live at a distance away. I was the first to graduate from high school. To make it worse, I went ahead to college. The family was proud of me but it was hard dealing with a college-educated person in the family. Of course, my sibling who never graduated from high school made major dollars, two to three times my income.
Thanksgiving? I will be doing it by myself.
Interesting that you were the one college graduate. We were all expected to go to college. We did but my baby brother never finished. DH is the only one of 5 children to go to finish college.0 -
We’re staying home and having dinner for 2. I ordered a turkey breast dinner from a local market. It comes with all the fixings. I added a couple of vegetable sides that DH wanted. I’ll make him a GF pumpkin pie. We picked up the inner Wednesday and I just have to reheat things on Thursday.
I picture the place my family went last year and hope they aren't having that this year (none of us are going in any case). HUGE ballroom, people packed in, hordes of people packed in the hallway waiting for the next seating.0 -
Pam - good luck with your dinner!
Our company's accounting person is going to visit her daughter. They all got tested and are quarantining for 2 weeks because her daughter's pregnant.0 -
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I spent a huge chunk of yesterday sitting at the eye doctor (the retina specialist). Hopkins sends several specialists out to an outpost in the northern suburb called Towson. Normally on specialist days you sit there for hours. The waiting room is full to overflowing and it's often almost a party atmosphere while folks kill time. I was concerned how they'd be dealing with COVID. It was weird. They'd taken probably 2/3 of the chairs out of the waiting room and there were often numerous empty seats. BUT I was still there 3 hours. DH thinks there's a secret waiting room somewhere they were stashing people. LOL!
They were obviously seeing less people so I have no clue why they were still so far behind.
They were being tough. No coming in until 5 minutes before your appointment. You'd better have on a mask and it had better be covering your nose. The staff was all in full PPE.
Anyway I didn't have any new retina tears and don't have to go back for a year.
Maryanne, at the start of the pandemic I was dealing with an issue with my eye that had a retina tear several years ago. I postponed one follow up appointment, but did go in for it about a month later, probably in early May. The building where the practice is located is attached to a hospital and the only usable entrance was staffed with someone who took your temperature and ensured that you were wearing a mask. I was then given a bracelet that indicated that I had passed inspection before I could go on into the building for my appointment. Once in the doctor’s office, I didn’t notice any chairs had been removed, but there were much fewer patients than normal. Consequently, I was in and out in about 1 hour, which was definitely a first for this doctor. Like you, my appointments typically took at least 2-3 hours, on a good day. I know part of the reason it takes so long is because they have to wait for your eyes to dilate, but that typically only takes about 15 minutes. It is the same at my appointments with my ophthalmologist. Usually a 2 hour minimum appointment and lots of waiting. They do have a second waiting room where you go after the drops are administered to dilate your eyes, so your DH might be right!
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I went to the podiatrist Thursday for follow up for the procedure he did last month. He debrided the nail and said all looked good. I asked when I could have a pedicure hoping he wouldn’t say never. He told me I could have 9 toes done now but it would take 3-6 weeks for my toe to fully heal. I was planning to wait until January anyway. 9 toes would look weird. He asked if I called from the parking lot before coming in. I did. He said some patients have been just walking in despite being told to call and wait in the car until told to come in. Some people just can’t follow instructions. I prefer waiting in their, listening to an audio book rather than exposing myself to other patients. The procedure was removing a thin strip of nail on my big toe. My nail curved down and led to a tendency for ingrown nails. After 3 infections in 3 years, I had him do the procedure he recommended in 2017. It wasn’t as bad as I anticipated. It’s supposed to cure me forever but there’s a small chance the strip could grow back if I have a very strong nail root. Here’s hoping I don’t.0
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I'm fine with following instructions. I'm not fine when the instructions are nonsense.
E.g. This Johns Hopkins specialist eye practice.
You are supposed to check in online and print out this code thingy (the little square thing a phone can read). They not only never ask for it if you try to offer it to them they act like you're holding a grenade.
Two hours before the appointment you get an email asking you to do a self check (the usual - do you have a cough etc.?) You print something out that's mostly one big solid colored square. It is dated. When you show up at the building you flash it at them. They don't look carefully enough for the current date (and I've taken note - they are always the same color). Then they hand you a colored dot to put on your clothes (I haven't taken the time to track whether the dots are always the same color). I think they are probably supposed to take your temperature between those two actions but in my 4 trips, I've only had my temperature taken once.
The emailed instructions you get tell you to check in 15 minutes early. However, when you get there there's a sign outside telling you not to check in until 5 minutes before your appointment. The folks who failed to see the sign and showed up pursuant to the email got a loud admonition.
As many months into this as we are, I just think folks could be getting their acts together. I say the same thing every time I got to a doctor or a vet. I just get this urge to wade in and organize them!
I also think it's weird that even though this complex (3 buildings) are all Hopkins outposts every single one I've been to now is doing something different even though they all use the same online portal (which is a big chunk of the disconnect).0 -
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Maryanne, at the start of the pandemic I was dealing with an issue with my eye that had a retina tear several years ago. I postponed one follow up appointment, but did go in for it about a month later, probably in early May. The building where the practice is located is attached to a hospital and the only usable entrance was staffed with someone who took your temperature and ensured that you were wearing a mask. I was then given a bracelet that indicated that I had passed inspection before I could go on into the building for my appointment. Once in the doctor’s office, I didn’t notice any chairs had been removed, but there were much fewer patients than normal. Consequently, I was in and out in about 1 hour, which was definitely a first for this doctor. Like you, my appointments typically took at least 2-3 hours, on a good day. I know part of the reason it takes so long is because they have to wait for your eyes to dilate, but that typically only takes about 15 minutes. It is the same at my appointments with my ophthalmologist. Usually a 2 hour minimum appointment and lots of waiting. They do have a second waiting room where you go after the drops are administered to dilate your eyes, so your DH might be right!
That would make sense. But after dilation I was sent back to the waiting room. And it seemed like most everyone else who came in (and there weren't that many) went into the back and came back to the waiting room a little while later.
I know at the mammogram/bone density office (which is in the new building and has a lot more space per practice) they are using hallways to stash waiting patients. Given their layout that makes a lot of sense.
So if anyone's keeping count, I now have the itch to organize (1) my vet's office, (2) the veterinary internist's practice, and (3) the Wilmer Eye Clinic. LOL!
At least the daggone TV wasn't on at Wilmer. Thank heavens for small favors. That was the waiting room where I was forced to listen to the cheetos' inauguration. Something I've never forgotten nor forgiven.0 -
I’ve been to 5 different medical facilities since Covid. Every one had a good method of organization in checking patients in and limiting patients exposure to each other. Several places had checklists on my current health before I could enter. Several places took my temperature including the podiatrist. Maybe it’s because I live in a smaller, less populated area. The entire Cape, 15 towns, is about 250,000 people. I’m sure Baltimore alone is bigger than that. The check in process you described is bizarre and I can see why patients are frustrated. They need to get their act together.0
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I guess I've always just been super organized (DH makes fun of me) and would like the world around me to be. To paraphrase something folks said about Elizabeth Warren DH will say "I assume you have a spreadsheet for that".0
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In Covid times, spreadsheets are good.0
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I made my second cheese ball today and cranberry sauce, so I have finished most of my pre-Thanksgiving chores. On Tuesday I will make my pecan pie and sweet potato casserole and then I’ll be done. Everything is in the freezer, waiting to be packed up Wednesday morning. Hopefully I won’t forget anything. I made a list, so maybe I’ll remember everything.0
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Love, love, love these sweet potato casseroles (I've got a bunch in the freezer):
https://www.qvc.com/St-Clair-22lb-Sweet-Potato-Casserole-Trays.product.M106704.html?sc=SRCH
But on Thanksgiving Day we'll have mashed potatoes, stuffing and gravy (all from boxes and cans; I'm SO not a cook).
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Those sweet potato casseroles look almost identical to the one I make, except I use pecans instead of walnuts. It’s actually a very easy dish to make. I usually bake my sweet potatoes while my pies bake, then when they’ve cooled I peel off the skins. Then I mash them with melted butter, eggs and some brown sugar, and add a bit of cinnamon. The streusel topping is just flour, butter, brown sugar and pecans mixed together and spread over the top. Bake at 350 for 45-50 minutes and it’s done. I think the only thing on our Thanksgiving table that isn’t homemade is the gravy. Neither my sister nor I can make decent turkey gravy, so she always buys a couple of jars of it. I personally don’t like gravy anyway, so I’d be happy to skip it altogether, but that might cause an uprising among the rest of the family.0
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Yeah, no gravy would be cause for an uprising. LOL!0
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Apparently someone wrote an obituary on dad.
https://gettysburgconnection.org/obituary-richard-n-allison/0
