March/April BED Conversation Thread

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Replies

  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    Awesome Diane!! So happy for you dear!!! Keep up the good work!!

    Just remember is not always about the pounds lost. As long as we never give up that is half the battle. The other is up to us to find a way to reach our goals, whatever they are to get us to where we want to be. I am very proud of you for working on your mental issues because as you know we all need to take care of this before we can move forward with overcoming BED.

    Hugs!:flowerforyou:
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Thanks Mollie :smooched:
  • fairfieldbeach
    fairfieldbeach Posts: 261 Member
    Diane: That one pound loss is a huge victory (pun intended) and you should be proud! I'm proud of you! Inspiring!
  • FollowThatUnicorn
    FollowThatUnicorn Posts: 200 Member
    I've stopped logging my food in on here, I've actually stopped coming here. Thsi is actually the first time I've been here in weeks. Every night when I get home from work, I've decided during the day that I'm going to be good and not undo what I did all day, especially if I restrict during the day. And then I get home, and I'll be stressed from my stupid job, and I'll say to myself that it's ok because it's just tonight and i will be better tomorrow and not do it tomorrow. And I just eat and eat and eat. If my husband is not home, I will purge but I can't do it when he's home. And it makes me feel horrible and my body is so confused. Then I feel guilty and resolve that the next day I won't do it again. But then at night, it's the same thing. And the next day I feel worse than the previous day.

    And I stopped going to the gym. I went for 2 weeks. wooo big deal. I just don't care anymore. I whine and whine and whine about being fat and my clothes don't fit and I feel so ****ty about myself, but I can't be bothered to do anything baout it. I'm just that lazy.


    Wow. I am a big pile of fun eh.
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Diane: That one pound loss is a huge victory (pun intended) and you should be proud! I'm proud of you! Inspiring!

    Thank you so much! :flowerforyou:
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Unicorn - I'm so glad you came back. Thank you for sharing! You are far from lazy my dear, please don't think that about yourself. Think about how much energy you put into your ED. Those of us w/ EDs are not lazy, we just spend our energy in the wrong way. It sounds like you're really stressed out. Do you know why? It might help to identify what you're feeling. That way you've addressed it instead of using food to avoid those painful feelings. And it might be so deep rooted that at first you won't be able to identify them. But please keep trying, keep analyzing your behavior, keep fighting.
  • mabug01
    mabug01 Posts: 1,273 Member
    Diane - congratulations on earning that 1 pound loss. You really have been working hard for it. You are an inspiration for me, thanks very much.

    Unicorn - I'm so glad you haven't given up posting here. I've found it reduces my stress to be here. Be kind to yourself to help gently dissipate the negative energy.

    My goal for tomorrow is to ask myself what I really need instead of the sugar and salt I'm craving.
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Thanks mabug. Much appreciated! :smile:
  • FollowThatUnicorn
    FollowThatUnicorn Posts: 200 Member
    It sounds like you're really stressed out. Do you know why? It might help to identify what you're feeling. That way you've addressed it instead of using food to avoid those painful feelings. And it might be so deep rooted that at first you won't be able to identify them. But please keep trying, keep analyzing your behavior, keep fighting.

    My job and my marriage. And there's really not much I can do about either.
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    As I sat in bed last night reading a few chapters in another ED book, one of the lines really stuck out and made me think about how such a simple statement has such a tremendous meaning.

    “You have to work at recovery.”

    Yeah. And that’s an understatement. You have to find the strength to work really hard at recovery. You have to engulf yourself in recovery. You have to think and act and feel recovery-- every day, all day. You have to learn about it, and talk about it, and identify it. You have to allow yourself to fail and then you have to get right back at it and try a different approach. Again and again and again.

    Recovery isn’t something that happens to us. It is something that we need to make happen. And it isn’t going to come easy to us. And that is very discouraging. But in order to succeed in recovery, we must work at it continuously.
  • buccaneerdave1
    buccaneerdave1 Posts: 4 Member
    Hi my name is Dave and i just came back after being gone for about a month. I am very glad to have found a group that is exactly what i need and is dealing with the very same issues that are in fact killing me on a daily basis. My handle is buccaneerdave1 and i will be sending friend requests so i can connect thanks
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    Hi my name is Dave and i just came back after being gone for about a month. I am very glad to have found a group that is exactly what i need and is dealing with the very same issues that are in fact killing me on a daily basis. My handle is buccaneerdave1 and i will be sending friend requests so i can connect thanks

    Welcome to the group Dave! :smile:
    I'm Diane
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    As I sat in bed last night reading a few chapters in another ED book, one of the lines really stuck out and made me think about how such a simple statement has such a tremendous meaning.

    “You have to work at recovery.”

    Yeah. And that’s an understatement. You have to find the strength to work really hard at recovery. You have to engulf yourself in recovery. You have to think and act and feel recovery-- every day, all day. You have to learn about it, and talk about it, and identify it. You have to allow yourself to fail and then you have to get right back at it and try a different approach. Again and again and again.

    Recovery isn’t something that happens to us. It is something that we need to make happen. And it isn’t going to come easy to us. And that is very discouraging. But in order to succeed in recovery, we must work at it continuously.

    thanks for sharing this Diane! I so needed to read this today because I have been feeling very discouraged and hopeless lately but I know I can't give up. Thanks again.
  • EB0910
    EB0910 Posts: 7
    Hi everyone. My name is Elizabeth and I'm a new member to this group. BED has plagued me the majority of my life after anorexia/bulimia controlled several years in my adolescence. I've done plenty of extreme dieting and even come close to goal a time or two in the last 10 years, but the older I am, the more I binge. Or it may be that I am more aware of it. In the midst of my up/down and out of control eating, I was blessed with a loving and kind husband as well as having twin boys 1.5 years ago. My husband doesn't understand BED but knows it is something I struggle with and supports me when I need it. I stay at home with the boys and he works 18 hour shifts. I try to hide and eat. Every time I get in my car, I want to find fast food and eat in the car, find a random garbage can to throw away the "evidence" once finished and come home as though nothing has happened. This has been my go-to way to binge but most of the time I have the twins in the car with me and they are toddlers now. I don't want them to see this side of me..they will only grow more aware of what is happening. I can't keep doing this to myself.

    I'm crying as I'm typing this b/c I have been doing well for a while but have had some stressful few days with the boys and combine that with exhaustion as I take care of the boys 100%= urge to pig out. I gave in today and have been eating non-stop. Years of counseling, nutritionists, personal trainers, etc., mean I know what I need to do. It seems like the longer I go without a binge, the worse the fall is when I end up eating. Please don't think I'm some hopeless case...this is just a really, really bad day. I'm glad to have found this group and appreciate any support. I hope to be a source of support for others struggling with this. God bless you all and thanks for letting me ramble.
  • Sorry to just blurt this out... but I was raped 10 years ago tomorrow. My eating this week has been extra crazy. I've booked my day pretty solid tomorrow and Saturday so I hopefully won't have time to curl up with a bag of chips or 12. I went back on anti-depressants about 6 weeks ago, in the hopes that it would help get my moods, and therefore my binging, under control. Worked for the first 3 weeks but I've been 'down' for the last 3. The first down week, I attributed to hormonal changes the week before my period. The last 2 weeks I figured was due to the impending 'anniversary'. Next week, I'm headed into PMS land again. I have no idea when my hormones should be balanced out again, no idea how long to give this before I go back to my dr. *sigh*
  • fairfieldbeach
    fairfieldbeach Posts: 261 Member
    Sorry to just blurt this out... but I was raped 10 years ago tomorrow. My eating this week has been extra crazy.

    So so sorry to hear that you were raped. No wonder your eating has been extra crazy. Sending you love and support and know that we are here for you. :flowerforyou:
  • richardsrm
    richardsrm Posts: 1,144 Member
    Hi my name is Richie, and I am a binge person but like all of you I am fighting to remember that I am a grandmother, gardener, walker, teacher and good person who is more than my addiction. Today was a good day, stayed busy all day and into the night. so busy I am too tired to eat.
    Elizabeth, I think this topic will help you . The folks here really get how it feels when you don't have a good day, Like you I hid my food frenzys from my family. Now I live alone and still struggle even though no one knows.

    rainyday your weight ticker looks pretty good. more than half way there. Bad things happen I also have had to take antidepressants from time to time. Hormones are so hard to get regulated. I sure hope yours will be balanced soon . I am over being young but maybe a visit to your gyn for an eval might help. They put me on birthcontrol and it helped me way back when....maybe there is some new stuff out there that will help.

    Mollie. like you say one day at a time.tomorrow is another day.

    Diane, thanks for the reminder........recovery is tough stuff. I am not where I want to be but I am headed in the right direction. Hugs to all of you Richie
  • fairfieldbeach
    fairfieldbeach Posts: 261 Member
    Mollie: You're here; you're posting and that's what counts. You really inspire others; let us inspire you to know that you can do it even if it isn't going to be a straight path all the time.:flowerforyou:
  • fairfieldbeach
    fairfieldbeach Posts: 261 Member
    Elizabeth: Welcome. I can relate to so much of what you said: hiding your eating, pretending everything is normal, not wanting the kids to see, knowing all the "right" things to do but not doing them . . .It's a safe place to share anything here and know that you have our support and that you are not a "hopeless" case. :flowerforyou:
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,350 Member
    Sorry to just blurt this out... but I was raped 10 years ago tomorrow. My eating this week has been extra crazy. I've booked my day pretty solid tomorrow and Saturday so I hopefully won't have time to curl up with a bag of chips or 12. I went back on anti-depressants about 6 weeks ago, in the hopes that it would help get my moods, and therefore my binging, under control. Worked for the first 3 weeks but I've been 'down' for the last 3. The first down week, I attributed to hormonal changes the week before my period. The last 2 weeks I figured was due to the impending 'anniversary'. Next week, I'm headed into PMS land again. I have no idea when my hormones should be balanced out again, no idea how long to give this before I go back to my dr. *sigh*

    Hugs rainyday!:heart::heart: So sorry. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. Sending postive thoughts and vibes your way with many hugs.....:heart:
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