March Challenge - Me vs. The Binge
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March 13
Me: 10
Binge: 30 -
Wow, I didn't realize its been so long since I checked in here. You know that can't be a good sign....
March 2013
3/13/13
Me: 10
The binge: 3 (3/9, 3/11, 3/12)
None of these binges was like what I've been capable of in the past in terms of sheer calorie intake, but everything else about them felt just like a binge--the escapism, the lack of willingness to pause or figure out why, the numb feeling and shame after. I figured out in therapy yesterday what triggered them, and while the cause was new, the emotion was not. Spiraling anxiety, and I could only think of treating it with food. So I eliminated the trigger, upped my calorie limit, and today was much better in many ways. Still unhappy with my plateau, but I feel okay about my plan to counter it.
I'll be back tomorrow and the tomorrows after that. Wish I hadn't stayed away so long.
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Wed, March 13
me: 8
the binge: 50 -
March 2013:
Mollie - 9
The Binge - 4 (2nd, 9th, 10th, 11th)
Days did not log it all - 1 (10th)
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Jan - 4 days I did not log it ALL
Feb- 3 days I did not log it ALL
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March 13, 2013
Me: 10
Binge: 3 (3/1,3/3, 3/7)
Binge-free for: 6 days0 -
Me: 11
Binge: 2
Not logging my food. Need to make my diary private so I will.....0 -
Terri - 11
Binge - 2
I hate thinking I can't stop once I start. And that I have to hide away and eat. But I do. And I did. But tomorrow is a new fresh start.0 -
3-14-13
Me: 10
Binge: 4 (3/2, 3/4, 3/8, 3/9)
Goal: Less than 4 B days
What's helping me: repeating the mantra 'food is not an emergency' and 'I am not in binge mode'. Helps me slow down and recognize what I DON'T want to be.0 -
Me: 11
Binge: 2
Not logging my food. Need to make my diary private so I will.....
Do it. I made mine private so I WOULD log everything. Obviously when it's open, it's embarrassing to be in the red by thousands of calories. Logging it all really helped me. When I "completed my entry" and saw that If every day was like today, i would gain 15 pounds in 5 weeks, it really put things into perspective (also, I lost a total of 14, so that would undo everything and add more fat!!)0 -
March 2013
Diane: 10
Binge: 30 -
I know I have been doing much better logging it all once I made my diary private. When I had it open I was embarrassed on binge days and so less likely to own my binges and log it all. Now when I skip logging it is just I have eaten too much and I don't feel like going back to try to get everything or I waited too long to log it.Me: 11
Binge: 2
Not logging my food. Need to make my diary private so I will.....
Do it. I made mine private so I WOULD log everything. Obviously when it's open, it's embarrassing to be in the red by thousands of calories. Logging it all really helped me. When I "completed my entry" and saw that If every day was like today, i would gain 15 pounds in 5 weeks, it really put things into perspective (also, I lost a total of 14, so that would undo everything and add more fat!!)
Everyone looking at our diaries do not understand eating disorders so unless you are OK with that and can still be completely honest with self and leave it open, making it private is a good idea.0 -
Greeky - 6
Binge - 7
Checking in and showing my face even though I haven't been doing too well fighting off the binge monster. I have new motivation, as I can really tell I've gained a few pounds and I'm VERY uncomfortable.0 -
I am doing much better the last few days.
I saw my therapist today and will begin working on my anxiety. He has given me methods to use. I am so happy cause it seemed to work! YEAH I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!!
Mollie, I will make sure not to mention any foods. I hope I have not so far That makes perfect sense though. Just hearing about a food could be a trigger. thanks for mentioning it!
freiwild that has happened to me before. Many times when I get back from a resturant I did make a good choice and then I am still hungry. At home I make sure I have plenty of veggies to fill my meals. They make me feel full.
Graelwyn75, I am so drained today as well. When tired I know I am more likely to binge. I might even take a nap to avoid that. (if I can find time)
rincoglionita, I was binging right before you started (look at my dates) I might have noticed you needed some help if I was not coming out of a binge. I hope you are not beating yourself up over it. You will get back on track. I know we can do this.
March 2013:
Karen 8
The Binge 5
Days Left 18
Binge Days
3/1
3/3
3/6
3/7
3/80 -
3/14/13
Tonight I have my accountability weigh-in. It has almost been a year since I have not shown a weight gain on my weekly, accountability weigh-ins. I have either lost or stayed the same. As I have been losing weight, I've had to come to deal with the bingeing, because the less we weigh the less we burn in exercise. Otherwise, I would be spending my spare time eating and exercising. I want more for myself than that.
In reflecting on my past week, I have had some emotional ups and downs, but I did not resort to bingeing to get through them. I now have 13 days of sobriety from bingeing and it hasn't been easy. It seems the longer I go without bingeing the more it seems tempting, because how badly it makes me feel afterward is a more distant memory.
I kept within my daily calories and I exercised daily, but moderately. However, my weight this morning is higher than expected. I have to compensate today with over-exercise in order not to show a gain tonight. I do not recommend this and I am striving for balance in both my eating and my exercise.
What the scale tells me is that it is time to agree to let MFP recommend the next lower calorie amount for me. I have resisted it on the past few times, because I was on a binge cycle of high calories, until I got closer to weigh-in, and then low calories. Now that I can see that eating in moderation is keeping me at or just above a plateau, I know it is time to let the daily calorie allowance drop. Of course I am concerned that the restriction will cause me to lose my resolve and my new-found sobriety.
So my plan is to restrict my daily calories on my own. I will begin by eating 50 calories less daily, until I feel I can cut more. Then when the next weight loss triggers MFP to drop me into the next calorie category, it hopefully won't feel like a shock that I rebel against.0 -
Me: 11
Binge: 2
Not logging my food. Need to make my diary private so I will.....
Even when I'm not bingeing, my food choices are unusual. A member of another group wanted my food logging to be visible to help her, but I don't think what I eat would help others. I have to be very restrictive about what we have in the house. Right now, I have to do what's right for me. I made the goal of always logging in and that includes binge days. I can't let anything jeopardize it, so keeping my diary private is what works for me.0 -
March 14th
Me:14
Binge:00 -
Me: 13
B: 1
I was having an awesome week -- and then last night met my step brother for dinner. Turns out my 8-year-old nephew has Type 1 Diabetes. I was so sad (but also just so stressed out by the family drama that never ends) that I binged when I got home. Ate half a container of Mediterranean Mint Gelato while I was preparing a bowl for my fiance. The thought actually crossed my mind: "If I ate the entire thing really fast right now, he wouldn't have to know I ever bought it in the first place..." But I stopped myself halfway through at least.
Oy. Thanks for listening. Just had to confess to someone.0 -
SarahRea32 Way to go avoiding the binge.
Thanks Karen
March 14th (yesterday for me!)
Sarah: 9
Binge monster: 5
Days without binging: 5?? I think..0 -
March 13, 2013
Me: 10
Binge: 3 (3/1,3/3, 3/7)
Binge-free for: 6 days
Woohoo kge0891!! Way to go
Sorry for no personals guys, I shouldn't log on here at work as I don't have time! Hope everyone has a great binge-free day 0 -
Kim: 12
The Binge: 2
13th, 14th
My old binge habit is rearing it's ugly head after some solid work for the last two weeks. I thought that yesterday was just a blip, but I binged yet again this evening. Because I've been able to log it, and looking back on my old habits, this isn't a total loss though. I've been able to identify my problem areas: sweets that are available in the house in large quantities, post-dinner times, and boredom. I had the sweet things on hand as a type of snack I could have when I was able to work it into my calories and macros, but from now on I'll make sure that those things are in as low quantities as possible to avoid eating 5x the serving size. The other two I'll just have to work through, but removing the binge stimuli should help out more.
^ re: the sheer amount of writing above -- it's nice to be able to type this out, it makes this evening seem less like a setback and more like a learning experience.0
