March Challenge - Me vs. The Binge
Replies
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StrongerThanY - yes I know the feeling well. Trying not to dwell on it is easier said than done. I've undone weeks worth of effort in a run of 3-4 days binging, because I could't forgive myself the first one. I have suffered depression over the years, I think this is a form a depression because it is certainly more than feeling blue. I've read that a lot of people with BED also have depression and researchers aren't sure whether it's the depression and low self esteem that leads to the BED or vice versa. With depression its often scored based on the effect its having on your life overall, if you're concerned you could see your Dr who can give you a written test to see if you are 'depressed'. My Dr is always happy to write a script but I prefer to use St John's wort, I'm not a fan of anti-depressants!
March 13/03/13
Sarah - 8
The Binge - 5
Days in a row without binging : 4
:):) best for a while 0 -
March 2013
Diane: 9
Binge: 30 -
March 13th
Me:13
Binge:00 -
StrongerThanY - yes I know the feeling well. Trying not to dwell on it is easier said than done. I've undone weeks worth of effort in a run of 3-4 days binging, because I could't forgive myself the first one. I have suffered depression over the years, I think this is a form a depression because it is certainly more than feeling blue. I've read that a lot of people with BED also have depression and researchers aren't sure whether it's the depression and low self esteem that leads to the BED or vice versa. With depression its often scored based on the effect its having on your life overall, if you're concerned you could see your Dr who can give you a written test to see if you are 'depressed'. My Dr is always happy to write a script but I prefer to use St John's wort, I'm not a fan of anti-depressants!
March 13/03/13
Sarah - 8
The Binge - 5
Days in a row without binging : 4:):) best for a while
I was just asking because it isn't a daily thing. I only feel very down after binge days and sometimes during times where I am thinking about all the weight I need to lose or how I could have been at my goal but messed up too much etc.
So.... I feel like I'm bipolar but it's outside causes that make me down. Binges and feeling bloated fat, I'll be down all day... but the days that I eat 'right' I feel happy.
Anyhow, yay for the 4 days!!! WTG!0 -
Me: 9
The Binge: 4
March 13th ~
http://deepercravings.com/2013/03/13/mindfulness-5-treasures-that-transform-your-eating/0 -
Hey all. I'm relatively new to the group and MFP in general, and I hadn't posted my binge score yet because I thought I may have been able to control it, but I was wrong
Kim: 12
The Binge: 1 (today)
Today just started on the wrong foot food/calorie wise. I went to breakfast at a restaurant for a friend's birthday, and while I thought I was being careful about what I selected and how much, adding it all up when I got home showed me I was dead wrong, and ended up having half of my days calories and macros at breakfast. I spent the rest of the day trying to eat enough to satiate myself while still trying to compensate for the morning. I worked out a little harder to try and gain some ground back. I made it to the end of the day, and then the urge to binge hit me. So yeah. I've definitely done worse but I just thought that I'd be stronger then this. I've logged everything in the 14th (since it's technically past midnight in Germany) so that this week will be honest, and I hope that when I wake up tomorrow I can feel better about this and get past it instead of allowing myself to go off the rails again.0 -
Kate - 6.
Binge - 7.
Struggled today. Woke up feeling really drained, probably due to it being a very heavy TOM, and that in turn had me feeling like binging or staying in and just sleeping. I felt too tired to go to the gym, basically, so my third day doing only a bit of walking, and I felt bad about it. I had to go out to get some things anyway, but getting coffee and something unhealthy to eat for yet another day was on my mind. I also bought a lot of Something I tend to find it hard to control myself with. I think I sort of live with this hope that it will just click one of these days, and that I will be able to go to bed without overeating it... You know, just have a few pieces of this food item and savour them, like anyone else.
Anyway, I called my boyfriend to say I was too tired to see him this evening, but he was in town too, so I caught up with him and spent a few hours walking around town with him, which stopped me sleeping, but also stopped me binging in the afternoon. Shared that piece of something with him instead of eating it all alone. I do know the solution for the most part, for me, is to not take my sleeping pill until safely in bed as it seems to have some effect on my appetite. I can be totally full after my usual bedtime food, and in control but as soon as my sleeping pill hits, the sense of fullness disappears and I seem to lose all willpower.
Cannot find any reference to this being a side effect of Temazepam either.0 -
Hey all. I'm relatively new to the group and MFP in general, and I hadn't posted my binge score yet because I thought I may have been able to control it, but I was wrong
Kim: 12
The Binge: 1 (today)
Today just started on the wrong foot food/calorie wise. I went to breakfast at a restaurant for a friend's birthday, and while I thought I was being careful about what I selected and how much, adding it all up when I got home showed me I was dead wrong, and ended up having half of my days calories and macros at breakfast. I spent the rest of the day trying to eat enough to satiate myself while still trying to compensate for the morning. I worked out a little harder to try and gain some ground back. I made it to the end of the day, and then the urge to binge hit me. So yeah. I've definitely done worse but I just thought that I'd be stronger then this. I've logged everything in the 14th (since it's technically past midnight in Germany) so that this week will be honest, and I hope that when I wake up tomorrow I can feel better about this and get past it instead of allowing myself to go off the rails again.
I used to start each day at midnight but I found that if I woke up having already binged before bed, it just set me up for the sense that I had already overeaten so might as well not bother trying the rest of the day, so I now start each logging day when I wake up. I tend to stay up into the early hours, but am trying to get to bed earlier to help the situation. But if I do binge before bed, I am much more likely to get back on track with a clean slate for the day.0 -
Kate: 12
Binge: 10 -
Me: 3
Binge: 00 -
March 13
Me: 10
Binge: 30 -
Wow, I didn't realize its been so long since I checked in here. You know that can't be a good sign....
March 2013
3/13/13
Me: 10
The binge: 3 (3/9, 3/11, 3/12)
None of these binges was like what I've been capable of in the past in terms of sheer calorie intake, but everything else about them felt just like a binge--the escapism, the lack of willingness to pause or figure out why, the numb feeling and shame after. I figured out in therapy yesterday what triggered them, and while the cause was new, the emotion was not. Spiraling anxiety, and I could only think of treating it with food. So I eliminated the trigger, upped my calorie limit, and today was much better in many ways. Still unhappy with my plateau, but I feel okay about my plan to counter it.
I'll be back tomorrow and the tomorrows after that. Wish I hadn't stayed away so long. 0 -
Wed, March 13
me: 8
the binge: 50 -
March 2013:
Mollie - 9
The Binge - 4 (2nd, 9th, 10th, 11th)
Days did not log it all - 1 (10th)
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Jan - 4 days I did not log it ALL
Feb- 3 days I did not log it ALL
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March 13, 2013
Me: 10
Binge: 3 (3/1,3/3, 3/7)
Binge-free for: 6 days0 -
Me: 11
Binge: 2
Not logging my food. Need to make my diary private so I will.....0 -
Terri - 11
Binge - 2
I hate thinking I can't stop once I start. And that I have to hide away and eat. But I do. And I did. But tomorrow is a new fresh start.0 -
3-14-13
Me: 10
Binge: 4 (3/2, 3/4, 3/8, 3/9)
Goal: Less than 4 B days
What's helping me: repeating the mantra 'food is not an emergency' and 'I am not in binge mode'. Helps me slow down and recognize what I DON'T want to be.0 -
Me: 11
Binge: 2
Not logging my food. Need to make my diary private so I will.....
Do it. I made mine private so I WOULD log everything. Obviously when it's open, it's embarrassing to be in the red by thousands of calories. Logging it all really helped me. When I "completed my entry" and saw that If every day was like today, i would gain 15 pounds in 5 weeks, it really put things into perspective (also, I lost a total of 14, so that would undo everything and add more fat!!)0 -
March 2013
Diane: 10
Binge: 30 -
I know I have been doing much better logging it all once I made my diary private. When I had it open I was embarrassed on binge days and so less likely to own my binges and log it all. Now when I skip logging it is just I have eaten too much and I don't feel like going back to try to get everything or I waited too long to log it.Me: 11
Binge: 2
Not logging my food. Need to make my diary private so I will.....
Do it. I made mine private so I WOULD log everything. Obviously when it's open, it's embarrassing to be in the red by thousands of calories. Logging it all really helped me. When I "completed my entry" and saw that If every day was like today, i would gain 15 pounds in 5 weeks, it really put things into perspective (also, I lost a total of 14, so that would undo everything and add more fat!!)
Everyone looking at our diaries do not understand eating disorders so unless you are OK with that and can still be completely honest with self and leave it open, making it private is a good idea.0 -
Greeky - 6
Binge - 7
Checking in and showing my face even though I haven't been doing too well fighting off the binge monster. I have new motivation, as I can really tell I've gained a few pounds and I'm VERY uncomfortable.0 -
I am doing much better the last few days.
I saw my therapist today and will begin working on my anxiety. He has given me methods to use. I am so happy cause it seemed to work! YEAH I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!!
Mollie, I will make sure not to mention any foods. I hope I have not so far That makes perfect sense though. Just hearing about a food could be a trigger. thanks for mentioning it!
freiwild that has happened to me before. Many times when I get back from a resturant I did make a good choice and then I am still hungry. At home I make sure I have plenty of veggies to fill my meals. They make me feel full.
Graelwyn75, I am so drained today as well. When tired I know I am more likely to binge. I might even take a nap to avoid that. (if I can find time)
rincoglionita, I was binging right before you started (look at my dates) I might have noticed you needed some help if I was not coming out of a binge. I hope you are not beating yourself up over it. You will get back on track. I know we can do this.
March 2013:
Karen 8
The Binge 5
Days Left 18
Binge Days
3/1
3/3
3/6
3/7
3/80 -
3/14/13
Tonight I have my accountability weigh-in. It has almost been a year since I have not shown a weight gain on my weekly, accountability weigh-ins. I have either lost or stayed the same. As I have been losing weight, I've had to come to deal with the bingeing, because the less we weigh the less we burn in exercise. Otherwise, I would be spending my spare time eating and exercising. I want more for myself than that.
In reflecting on my past week, I have had some emotional ups and downs, but I did not resort to bingeing to get through them. I now have 13 days of sobriety from bingeing and it hasn't been easy. It seems the longer I go without bingeing the more it seems tempting, because how badly it makes me feel afterward is a more distant memory.
I kept within my daily calories and I exercised daily, but moderately. However, my weight this morning is higher than expected. I have to compensate today with over-exercise in order not to show a gain tonight. I do not recommend this and I am striving for balance in both my eating and my exercise.
What the scale tells me is that it is time to agree to let MFP recommend the next lower calorie amount for me. I have resisted it on the past few times, because I was on a binge cycle of high calories, until I got closer to weigh-in, and then low calories. Now that I can see that eating in moderation is keeping me at or just above a plateau, I know it is time to let the daily calorie allowance drop. Of course I am concerned that the restriction will cause me to lose my resolve and my new-found sobriety.
So my plan is to restrict my daily calories on my own. I will begin by eating 50 calories less daily, until I feel I can cut more. Then when the next weight loss triggers MFP to drop me into the next calorie category, it hopefully won't feel like a shock that I rebel against.0 -
Me: 11
Binge: 2
Not logging my food. Need to make my diary private so I will.....
Even when I'm not bingeing, my food choices are unusual. A member of another group wanted my food logging to be visible to help her, but I don't think what I eat would help others. I have to be very restrictive about what we have in the house. Right now, I have to do what's right for me. I made the goal of always logging in and that includes binge days. I can't let anything jeopardize it, so keeping my diary private is what works for me.0 -
March 14th
Me:14
Binge:00 -
Me: 13
B: 1
I was having an awesome week -- and then last night met my step brother for dinner. Turns out my 8-year-old nephew has Type 1 Diabetes. I was so sad (but also just so stressed out by the family drama that never ends) that I binged when I got home. Ate half a container of Mediterranean Mint Gelato while I was preparing a bowl for my fiance. The thought actually crossed my mind: "If I ate the entire thing really fast right now, he wouldn't have to know I ever bought it in the first place..." But I stopped myself halfway through at least.
Oy. Thanks for listening. Just had to confess to someone.0 -
SarahRea32 Way to go avoiding the binge.
Thanks Karen
March 14th (yesterday for me!)
Sarah: 9
Binge monster: 5
Days without binging: 5?? I think..0 -
March 13, 2013
Me: 10
Binge: 3 (3/1,3/3, 3/7)
Binge-free for: 6 days
Woohoo kge0891!! Way to go
Sorry for no personals guys, I shouldn't log on here at work as I don't have time! Hope everyone has a great binge-free day 0 -
Kim: 12
The Binge: 2
13th, 14th
My old binge habit is rearing it's ugly head after some solid work for the last two weeks. I thought that yesterday was just a blip, but I binged yet again this evening. Because I've been able to log it, and looking back on my old habits, this isn't a total loss though. I've been able to identify my problem areas: sweets that are available in the house in large quantities, post-dinner times, and boredom. I had the sweet things on hand as a type of snack I could have when I was able to work it into my calories and macros, but from now on I'll make sure that those things are in as low quantities as possible to avoid eating 5x the serving size. The other two I'll just have to work through, but removing the binge stimuli should help out more.
^ re: the sheer amount of writing above -- it's nice to be able to type this out, it makes this evening seem less like a setback and more like a learning experience.0
