Dolly989 Member

Yeah I guess I have to work on being more assertive. If I could go back I wouldve told him I don't have time but it was just one of those moments where I was caught off guard. My phone was in my hand and I couldn't think of an excuse. I know I don't owe him anything. In the gym he always seems to be where I am. If im at…

Hey guys so just an update incase anybody is interested. I've seen this guy a couple of times since and he always chooses the workout station facing me. It makes me uncomfortable but i just try to avoid eye contact and get on with it. Today when I finished training and was about to leave i saw him hang around at the…

I used to feel the same. If I missed a day at the gym I'd feel so guilty about it all week and I'd punish myself by working out for 2 hours instead of 1 the following day to 'make up for it.' The gym can become an obsession. I know people who are addicted to the gym, it can be as addicting as drugs and alcohol. Now I have…

I never said I didn't want to be in a relationship with him anymore or that I didn't find him attractive. I made an observation that this is now a problem for him and I was deciding on weather to bring it up to him in a gentle way or not. If he was obease I wouldn't be attracted to him anymore and I wouldn't expect him to…

Not hoping to get anything I just thought it would be an intersting topic. It's not that I don't agree, I'm just suprised is all. I think people are downplaying the importance of attraction in a relationship. I'm sorry but for me its not just whats inside... just being honest. Call that shallow if you want. I have people I…

Theres other things he likes about me other than my outside appearence. What i ment by 'trophy girlfriend' is that he goes for goodlooking girls. All his exes have been really pretty. He has high standards and told me he wouldn't be with a bigger woman. Hes not a tool hes a nice guy. He dosnt go around insulting people or…

Well actually he told me dosn't like fat girls. He would make fun of girls who would share quotes on the internet like "real men love curves". He's quite a shallow guy. He wants a 'trophy' girlfriend. Thats why it feels like a double standard.

I wouldn't take the advice either unless I thought it was good. I just thought it would be interesting to have a conversation on the topic and hear other peoples stories.

Thank you, that was some really constructive advice instead of people judging me or making me out to be shallow 🙄

I'm shocked at the amount of negative comments im getting. I get this is a sensitive subject and it probably affects some of you personally. But these are problems people have in relationships. I'm not shallow for thinking like this.

I don't know why you're so stunned? Yes we have talked about it like I said he likes thin/fit girls. I don't think he would leave me if I gained weight but he would loose atttaction.

Not yet. I was hoping to get some advice on how to approach the topic in a sensitive way. Not to be juged. Have you never discussed somthing with a friend or asked someone advice about an issue before you brought it up with yout spouse?

I agree, I think its because he's too comfortable. I think when you stop trying in a relationship things start to go down hill. I'm not talking about gaining weight due to illness or getting older. Obviously looks and superficial things fade over time and thats fine but in a 3 year relationship in my 20s I want the…

Yeah thats why I said AGAIN. because it happens alot.

I'm not making fun of him or talking trash about him. I love and respect my boyfriend this is a fitness board and I thought it would be interesting to hear other peoples opinions or if they have ever had the same concerns on how they handle it.

Attraction is important in a relationship. Especially in your 20s. For me his lack of caring about himself is him not caring what I think anymore. Its like he feels so comfortable that he dosnt have to try. I keep myself fit and healthy for myself but also because I want him to feel attracted to me to. Like I said before…

I understand where you are coming but we're not 17 years married. We're both in our 20's . I just think its a little young to be letting yourself go. Especially because he told me how he likes thin women and always compliments my figure. If the tables were turned I don't think he'd like it.

Me and my friend were messing around in a jacuzzi in our bikinis on vacation and had it up on our stories on instagram. We got so much hate off people saying stuff like "she loves herself" "get some clothes on" ect. Yet the last few months all over social media I've been seeing bigger women posting pictures posing in…

Wow. I never expected this thread would get so many comments! Really interesting to see how many different topics were brought up. At the time I didn't think this guy was flirting with me just because of how rude he was, I've never been flirted with like that. But thanks to this thread I now know what negging is lol it…

But I didn't drop anything and I didn't need help. If i wanted help I'm i'd ask. What makes his way right and mine wrong? I know what im doing.

I hope I never run into him at the gym again. It was so off putting I couldn't even concentrate on the rest of my work out cause I felt like I had eyes on me. Even after I let him know I wasn't interested in continuing the conversation I could feel his eyes on me across the room and end up leaving. Before he approached me…

For some people the gym can be intimidating. You're putting yourself out there. I didn't go to the gym for years cause I was self concious of having people see me work out and I know alot of people feel the same at the start. I thought the way he said it was rude

Haha that is me, thank you but I don't look like that in the gym i look a mess 😂

I agree. There was lots of staff on and they were walking up and down surely ome of them would've approached me if i was doing somthing dangerous.