How would you feel about your partners weight gain?

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Replies

  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,076 Member
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    I'm shocked at the amount of negative comments im getting. I get this is a sensitive subject and it probably affects some of you personally. But these are problems people have in relationships. I'm not shallow for thinking like this.

    Sometimes people here are judgmental.

    I have noticed this.

    I like the irony of the dislike on this comment.

    I like the irony of the comment itself.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,371 Member
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    Well actually he told me dosn't like fat girls. He would make fun of girls who would share quotes on the internet like "real men love curves". He's quite a shallow guy. He wants a 'trophy' girlfriend. Thats why it feels like a double standard.

    And you want to be with him because?
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    Well actually he told me dosn't like fat girls. He would make fun of girls who would share quotes on the internet like "real men love curves". He's quite a shallow guy. He wants a 'trophy' girlfriend. Thats why it feels like a double standard.

    So you're OK being the "trophy" girlfriend of a shallow hypocrite, so long as he stays fit?


    Theres other things he likes about me other than my outside appearence. What i ment by 'trophy girlfriend' is that he goes for goodlooking girls. All his exes have been really pretty. He has high standards and told me he wouldn't be with a bigger woman. Hes not a tool hes a nice guy. He dosnt go around insulting people or fat shaming or making girls cry. He says it to me in private that he wouldnt be with larger women.... not like hes going around saying it to their faces. In my opinion theres nothing wrong with that everyone has a type. That dosn't make him a tool. I just think that if you want to be with someone that looks after themselves and appearence is important to you then you should be willing to put in the same effort. I understand that this is not important in every relationship but every relationship has different standards. You shouldn't expect from your partner what you're not willing to do yourself.

    When I met him he was very active/into sports, ate clean. In a short amount of time he put on alot of weight. I still wouldn't consider him 'fat' I just don't like the road he's going down. At one point he was eating take away every night and eating plenty of junk through out the day and it shocks me that someone can treat their body like that. Somtimes I try to cook for him just so he can get somthing nourishing into him. Its more his lifestyle I don't find atttactive rather than his physical appearance. Because it shows lack of self control/laziness and they're not qualities I find attractive. Now I still find him atttactive but if he gained much more I probably wouldn't. I'm not a monster if it was weight gain due to depression/medication/illness of course I would accept it and be supportive but gluttony is not somthing I can get behind.

    Have you talked to him?
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,053 Member
    So did you talk to him last night?
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    Well actually he told me dosn't like fat girls. He would make fun of girls who would share quotes on the internet like "real men love curves". He's quite a shallow guy. He wants a 'trophy' girlfriend. Thats why it feels like a double standard.

    So you're OK being the "trophy" girlfriend of a shallow hypocrite, so long as he stays fit?


    Theres other things he likes about me other than my outside appearence. What i ment by 'trophy girlfriend' is that he goes for goodlooking girls. All his exes have been really pretty. He has high standards and told me he wouldn't be with a bigger woman. Hes not a tool hes a nice guy. He dosnt go around insulting people or fat shaming or making girls cry. He says it to me in private that he wouldnt be with larger women.... not like hes going around saying it to their faces. In my opinion theres nothing wrong with that everyone has a type. That dosn't make him a tool. I just think that if you want to be with someone that looks after themselves and appearence is important to you then you should be willing to put in the same effort. I understand that this is not important in every relationship but every relationship has different standards. You shouldn't expect from your partner what you're not willing to do yourself.

    When I met him he was very active/into sports, ate clean. In a short amount of time he put on alot of weight. I still wouldn't consider him 'fat' I just don't like the road he's going down. At one point he was eating take away every night and eating plenty of junk through out the day and it shocks me that someone can treat their body like that. Somtimes I try to cook for him just so he can get somthing nourishing into him. Its more his lifestyle I don't find atttactive rather than his physical appearance. Because it shows lack of self control/laziness and they're not qualities I find attractive. Now I still find him atttactive but if he gained much more I probably wouldn't. I'm not a monster if it was weight gain due to depression/medication/illness of course I would accept it and be supportive but gluttony is not somthing I can get behind.

    This doesn't signal much other than his lifestyle changed dramatically and he hasn't adjusted his eating habits. Several athletes, military, and others with physically demanding jobs experience the same.

    There's no harm in getting advice as long as this results in a conversation with him quickly afterwards. Otherwise our brains tend to think we've had these conversations with that person - leaving you angry and frustrated and the individual completely confused. Make sure you follow this up by talking to him.