How would you feel about your partners weight gain?

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Replies

  • ro175
    ro175 Posts: 37 Member
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    Well actually he told me dosn't like fat girls. He would make fun of girls who would share quotes on the internet like "real men love curves". He's quite a shallow guy. He wants a 'trophy' girlfriend. Thats why it feels like a double standard.

    Yes, it is pretty hypocritical... Sadly, there is a lot of that attitude out there. .... but only you can decide what you can and cannot live with.
    Kudos to you for not being shallow. I have to say, I don't mind when my partner gains weight, which he has, but at the same time, he doesn't point out other's flaws and he is trying to get healthier too.
  • Butt_Snorkeler
    Butt_Snorkeler Posts: 167 Member
    Let my wife gain weight. idgaf. Food makes her happy and a happy wife is a happy life. We make fat jokes all the time. I call her my water buffalo

    (shes 5'1 and prob 140lbs now. She was 95lbs when we got married)
  • lemongingertea
    lemongingertea Posts: 6 Member
    If you feel uncomfortable specifically talking to him about his weight gain, you could try framing a discussion around the kind of lifestyle you want. If you want this relationship to last longterm and you're somebody that enjoys cooking healthily and working out, it makes sense that you might like him to share those things with you. You could ask him if he'd be up for joining in more with your healthy lifestyle to make you feel closer and like he's taking an interest in your way of living. Maybe suggest taking it in turns to cook healthy meals, or going to the gym together. If he says no to that, it could then open up a conversation about the weight gain.

    Aside from the issue of whether you find him attractive weighing more, having very different attitudes to healthy living might put strain on the relationship in the future. I think it's completely fair to talk about it, but I'd be careful about making the conversation immediately about his weight as you don't know how he's feeling about it already and he might feel attacked or unsupported.
  • CSARdiver wrote: »
    nooshi713 wrote: »
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    I'm shocked at the amount of negative comments im getting. I get this is a sensitive subject and it probably affects some of you personally. But these are problems people have in relationships. I'm not shallow for thinking like this.

    Sometimes people here are judgmental.

    I have noticed this.

    I like the irony of the dislike on this comment.

    ...and not the irony of the post itself?

    Also that, yes.
  • Theoldguy1
    Theoldguy1 Posts: 2,427 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    My boyfriend has gained a significant amount of weight in the last few months. Not because of any medical issue or anything like that, just generally letting himself go. Living with him I've noticed how good my will power is because hes constanly eating junk food and I don't ever cave in and join him. I like to lead a healthy lifestyle and can be quite strict with what I eat. I go to the gym most days. He makes fun of how strict I am and will try to buy me junk food to tempt me. I haven't brought up his weight gain because I don't wanna hurt his feelings but at the same time i'm annoyed at how little he cares about himself? What if the tables were turned would he be bothered if i start piling on weight? I don't know. Somtimes I'd make comments like 'you're getting take away again? Thats so bad for you" ect but he just laughs it off and says its delicious.

    How would you feel if your partner started putting on weight? Would you care? Would you say it to them? If yes then how would you approach it?

    You are being neither clear not accurate when you say, "you're getting take away again? Thats so bad for you"

    "Take away" isn't bad - consuming excess calories regularly that leads to obesity is bad.

    I suggest you work on some clear "I" statements and get back to us.

    We don't know the context of the OP's statement. If he is rolling in with a couple Big Macs, an order of nuggets, large fries and the largest Coke available 4-5 time a week, the generic take away is bad for you is fine in that context.