How would you feel about your partners weight gain?

magnusthenerd

Maybe she should just start intercepting the food and eating it herself. That will tackle both ends - reduce his intake, and give him a reminder what it is doing to him when he sees her slowly lose her trophy status physique.

Really it feels there are ways to have this conversation that aren't that painful or seem shallow. Just ask if everything is okay with him because he seems to have had a change in eating patterns. Unfortunately OP might be too focused on what the change in diet is doing instead of worrying about why it change.

frankiesgirlie

kshama2001 wrote: »

@Dolly989 so, did you talk to him?

You crack me up with this.

Sunshine_And_Sand

Me personally, I probably wouldn’t say anything. He likely realizes he’s gaining weight and doesn’t need you pointing it out to him. In my relationship, I know it would hurt my feelings if I gained a lot of weight and my husband commented on it, so I’d probably not say anything to him about it because I know I wouldn’t like it if he did the same thing.
For any results to actually stick, it has to be his decision anyway.

TheMrWobbly

You are asking for approval for a decision you have already made. Be honest - it is the most important thing. Tell him how you feel.

In truth in your 20s you are not yet set on who you are as a person. You can either live with the changes you partner goes through and vice versa, love the changes in them and vice versa or hate the changes in them and vice versa. Hating something about your partner will build resentment and not end well.

Be honest!

magnusthenerd

magnusthenerd wrote: »

Maybe she should just start intercepting the food and eating it herself. That will tackle both ends - reduce his intake, and give him a reminder what it is doing to him when he sees her slowly lose her trophy status physique.

Really it feels there are ways to have this conversation that aren't that painful or seem shallow. Just ask if everything is okay with him because he seems to have had a change in eating patterns. Unfortunately OP might be too focused on what the change in diet is doing instead of worrying about why it change.

The disagrees, do they understand the first paragraph is sarcasm?

kshama2001

frankiesgirlie wrote: »

kshama2001 wrote: »

@Dolly989 so, did you talk to him?

You crack me up with this.

I'm not willing to invest more energy into this than the OP is

patrickaa5

I'm an old guy, married 40 years, so what I think probably won't be of interest to a 20-something.

I used to be young (and thin) once. When DW and I were in our early 20's we were both in great shape and physically attracted to each other. Over the years, we both put on some weight (me more than her). We remained attracted to each other - but in a somewhat less physical way - if that makes any sense. While the physical attraction was still there, it was further down the list than when we were wild teenagers or hot 20 year olds. Neither or us would have ever brought up the other's persons weight unless it was in the context of helping each other - and then only if the other person was trying to lose weight. If my wife made comments about what I was eating, or told me I was letting myself go, etc - well I doubt we'd have made it 40 years. Fortunately, we have always respected and supported each other in everything. While physical attraction is important to a certain degree, if that's all you got, then it's not going to last.

Not knowing you, and based solely on what I gather from reading "between the lines" in your posts, I think it's probably time for you to look elsewhere. I don't think you're going to be happy with him long term. You're NOT going to change him. If you can't see yourself with him if he gains another 20 - 50 lbs, then you might as well cut your losses and find someone else. Find yourself some guy that is as into physical appearance / fitness as you are.

LyndaBSS

@patrickaa5

Your DW is a very lucky woman. 💙

patrickaa5

Thanks, but I'm the lucky one!