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Unwanted advice at gym
Dolly989
Posts: 30 Member
in Debate Club
Today I was doing barbell squats in my gym when I saw some guy staring at me for awhile but thought I was just being paranoid. He then came over to me to tell me the weight I was squatting with was very heavy. Taking me off guard I just said "um thanks I guess?" He then told me that it wasnt a compliment and that my form is bad, my weights are too heavy and I look like im killing myself.
I thought he was rude. He dosn't work there. I've had a personal trainer for months now who told me my form is perfect and squating is my strong point. She has seen me squating with that much weight and I'm sure she wouldve told me if it was too heavy for my safety. Being a woman its already intimidating enough going to the weights section. I just said ok, I have a personal trainer already and she told me my form is fine, thanks. Then i continued my work out and he was like "sorry if I offended you" I said no, its fine then he continued to annoy me....."you look p****d off".
Has anyone else had an experience like this? How did you handle it? Do you think its okay to go around giving advice to strangers?
I thought he was rude. He dosn't work there. I've had a personal trainer for months now who told me my form is perfect and squating is my strong point. She has seen me squating with that much weight and I'm sure she wouldve told me if it was too heavy for my safety. Being a woman its already intimidating enough going to the weights section. I just said ok, I have a personal trainer already and she told me my form is fine, thanks. Then i continued my work out and he was like "sorry if I offended you" I said no, its fine then he continued to annoy me....."you look p****d off".
Has anyone else had an experience like this? How did you handle it? Do you think its okay to go around giving advice to strangers?
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Replies
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Yes, one time I was doing sumo deadlifts and a bro tried to tell me I was doing them wrong because my feet aren't supposed to be so far apart for dead lifts. I said I would agree with him if I was doing regular deadlifts but I'm not and told him to please leave me alone, which of course pissed him off.
It's happened many other times, as well as other unwanted attention and I ended up quitting my gym. I know some people really are just trying to help, but IMO it's just simply none of their business.33 -
I don't think it's ever appropriate unless the person works there or you asked for their advice. Some guys may be genuinely trying to be helpful, but most are doing it for a "help the damsel in distress" ego boost or an in to attempt to hit on you. To be fair, guys do it to other guys a fair amount in the gym too, but I think there is also kind of a "I'm top dog" power play there as well when they do it.32
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Bench press the guy and be done with it. What a jerk. 😠53
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Offering unsolicited advice is generally bad practice. If I were genuinely concerned that someone was going to injure themselves during their workout, I would quietly tell a gym trainer or staff member and let the professionals handle it. I think this guy was very out of line.34
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Never had that happen, but if I did I'd just shrug it off...who gives a *kitten*?14
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Next time try saying "Thanks. Do you carry liability insurance in case I injure myself following your advice?"35
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If that's you in your profile pic, he was hitting on you. Not very effectively, obviously.36
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This sounds like a misguided attempt at flirting. He was hoping you would be receptive to his nonsense and be all OH MY GOSH TELL ME MORE TEACH ME AND MY LADYBRAIN HOW TO LIFT HEAVY THINGS WON'T YOU PLEASE? Good on you for setting him straight.48
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PapillonNoire wrote: »Offering unsolicited advice is generally bad practice. If I were genuinely concerned that someone was going to injure themselves during their workout, I would quietly tell a gym trainer or staff member and let the professionals handle it. I think this guy was very out of line.
I agree. There was lots of staff on and they were walking up and down surely ome of them would've approached me if i was doing somthing dangerous.8 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »If that's you in your profile pic, he was hitting on you. Not very effectively, obviously.
Haha that is me, thank you but I don't look like that in the gym i look a mess 😂5 -
floofyschmoofer wrote: »This sounds like a misguided attempt at flirting. He was hoping you would be receptive to his nonsense and be all OH MY GOSH TELL ME MORE TEACH ME AND MY LADYBRAIN HOW TO LIFT HEAVY THINGS WON'T YOU PLEASE? Good on you for setting him straight.
Ladybrain :laugh:
Yep, going with misguided attempt at flirting as well.8 -
just_Tomek wrote: »Thanx for the advice, carry on. Who cares.
For some people the gym can be intimidating. You're putting yourself out there. I didn't go to the gym for years cause I was self concious of having people see me work out and I know alot of people feel the same at the start. I thought the way he said it was rude21 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Never had that happen, but if I did I'd just shrug it off...who gives a *kitten*?
There’s a reason you’ve never had that happen.
Free weights areas are nearly always full of men doing their best to “out-man” each other. It’s not a pleasant atmosphere, and even less so when they decide that the poor weak woman must have wandered in there by mistake and obviously can’t cope on her own.
Guys, if we’re in the free weights area you can assume that we know what we’re doing. Very few women just walk in there alone with no plan.52 -
I don't think it's ever appropriate unless the person works there or you asked for their advice. Some guys may be genuinely trying to be helpful, but most are doing it for a "help the damsel in distress" ego boost or an in to attempt to hit on you. To be fair, guys do it to other guys a fair amount in the gym too, but I think there is also kind of a "I'm top dog" power play there as well when they do it.
I've gotten that vibe from every guy who's ever given me advice.8 -
floofyschmoofer wrote: »This sounds like a misguided attempt at flirting. He was hoping you would be receptive to his nonsense and be all OH MY GOSH TELL ME MORE TEACH ME AND MY LADYBRAIN HOW TO LIFT HEAVY THINGS WON'T YOU PLEASE? Good on you for setting him straight.
Ladybrain :laugh:
Yep, going with misguided attempt at flirting as well.
27 -
ThatJuJitsuWoman wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »Never had that happen, but if I did I'd just shrug it off...who gives a *kitten*?
There’s a reason you’ve never had that happen.
Free weights areas are nearly always full of men doing their best to “out-man” each other. It’s not a pleasant atmosphere, and even less so when they decide that the poor weak woman must have wandered in there by mistake and obviously can’t cope on her own.
Guys, if we’re in the free weights area you can assume that we know what we’re doing. Very few women just walk in there alone with no plan.
This and the OP's incident are why I hit the gym at 4:30 in the morning... the people who are willing to get up that early are all business - get in, get it done, get out - and pretty much don't socialize or bother each other beyond a hello among the regulars. We do have several women who workout in this time frame and they don't get hit on either (could be that most of them are fitness competitors who can pretty much keep up with the guys that are also working out).
For the OP - he was being an *kitten* and it was a lame attempt to hit on you... 'nuff said.12 -
Carlos_421 wrote: »I don't think it's ever appropriate unless the person works there or you asked for their advice. Some guys may be genuinely trying to be helpful, but most are doing it for a "help the damsel in distress" ego boost or an in to attempt to hit on you. To be fair, guys do it to other guys a fair amount in the gym too, but I think there is also kind of a "I'm top dog" power play there as well when they do it.
I've gotten that vibe from every guy who's ever given me advice.
Well maybe if you didn't give off the damsel in distress vibe...17 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Never had that happen, but if I did I'd just shrug it off...who gives a *kitten*?
^^^This too...3 -
Carlos_421 wrote: »I don't think it's ever appropriate unless the person works there or you asked for their advice. Some guys may be genuinely trying to be helpful, but most are doing it for a "help the damsel in distress" ego boost or an in to attempt to hit on you. To be fair, guys do it to other guys a fair amount in the gym too, but I think there is also kind of a "I'm top dog" power play there as well when they do it.
I've gotten that vibe from every guy who's ever given me advice.
Well maybe if you didn't give off the damsel in distress vibe...
HAHA!!! Touche!7
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