Unwanted advice at gym

gothchiq

I would say "okay, you've stated your opinion. I'm going to focus on my workout now. Goodbye." Then do not respond to anything else he says. If he actively harasses you, alert gym staff.

SchweddyGirl

CSARdiver wrote: »

SchweddyGirl wrote: »

psychod787 wrote: »

jdhcm2006 wrote: »

Gisel2015 wrote: »

jdhcm2006 wrote: »

Gisel2015 wrote: »

psychod787 wrote: »

SchweddyGirl wrote: »

I haven't had this happen at the gym, but have had unsolicited advice given to me at a 10-mile road race once. I am a Galloway runner (interval running). Some old guy I came upon tried to tell me that I will do better if I slow down and just run the whole thing. I told him to run his own race, and his "advice" just motivated me to put on a nearly 10-minute gap on him. Hmmm...seems like I did better than you did old man.

Hmmm... guess there is no need to post my YouTube evidence... Thanks BTW! 😊

Oh, gave you an "inspiring" for telling off a gentleman of advanced years and then being proud of out running him...

And I gave her a "disagree" for the same reason. No need to put down somebody older just because shedidn'tt like the advise.

Regardless of the man's age, she was well within her right to tell a stranger to leave her alone. This is the risk people take when offering unsolicited advice.

My issue was not with her rights to let a stranger know that she didn't want or need his advice. But when @SchweddyGirl made the comment "seems like I did better than you did oldman" she showed an ageisms bias against the older population.

I wonder if you had reacted the same if she had said "I did better than you fat/skinny man or woman..."

He interrupted her to tell her that she was doing her race wrong. Not knowing anything about her or what her goals are. He wouldn't have gotten called anything if he had stayed in his lane. It costs nothing to mind your business.

Also, it's a descriptor. He was a man and old. I don't get offended if someone describes me as a black woman, because I am indeed black and a woman. Fat, skinny, old, young, woman, man, black, white are not bad words.

He wouldn't have gotten called anything if he had stayed in his lane.<--- Statement opens up a can of worms I am not getting into here.

It costs nothing to mind your business.<

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Also cost nothing to be nice to people who "might" just be trying to help... A lesson I am learning more and more myself.

Also, it's a descriptor.<---- Agreed, but many people probably won't see it that way. I know I never liked being referred to as that "fat guy."

See above. Never did I say anything to him that was degrading... I said....again....word for word..."Run your own race."

If you left it at that the post would have been received better.

What was the purpose of speaking about a stranger in an anonymous manner on a public forum? The behavior is dishonest and passive aggressive. Nothing good can come from this.

Um....the quotation marks should have made that extremely obvious.

SchweddyGirl

Roger that.

watts6151

Personally I give out unsolicited advice quite often, usually to young lads who aren’t sure
How the perform an exercise correctly or safely, it’s how I learned back in the day.
Most of the veteran trainers in my gym keep an eye on the newbies, nobody wants to see someone get potentially injured because they didn’t know how to use a machine correctly or are using really poor form on a compound lift. Most are very grateful for the assistance as it can be overwhelming joining a gym for the first time

tinkerbellang83

watts6151 wrote: »

Personally I give out unsolicited advice quite often, usually to young lads who aren’t sure
How the perform an exercise correctly or safely, it’s how I learned back in the day.
Most of the veteran trainers in my gym keep an eye on the newbies, nobody wants to see someone get potentially injured because they didn’t know how to use a machine correctly or are using really poor form on a compound lift. Most are very grateful for the assistance as it can be overwhelming joining a gym for the first time

I think in this particular case, OP has followed up and said man in question also regularly makes a habit of using the workstation opposite her and made some weird attempt to get her phone number too, so behaviour seems a bit beyond the normal "keeping an eye on the noobs".