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What Day Is It?
Tag der Pfeffernüsse. Puderzucker auf Kleidung für Hunderte von Jahren. Human Light Celebration. That ugly Christmas sweater that lights up? Today is your day. Wear it proudly. Roots Day. Enjoy your fetid, evora, oaxaca, salgam, or zuckerwurzel today. I'll skip this one. Two Days To Go Day Perhaps a day for a Fleet?…
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What Day Is It?
National Date Nut Bread Day. Didn't we all date at least one nut? Some even married him/her maybe just for the bread. First Full Day of Winter. To be followed by 4000 more days of dreary, miserable, depressing, cloudy, sunless misery for those of us stupid enough to live in the Northern a_sshole of North America. Christmas…
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What Day Is It?
Short Girl Appreciation Day. It would be big of you to buy her first top shelf drink. I won't do any short woman jokes today, Cindy. The First Day of Winter. No, this is the 400th day. Kiwi Fruit Day. Who was that first Chinese person who found this brown stubble bearded thing shaped like a wingless bird from New Zealand…
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What Day Is It?
National Sangria Day. You say you can't get fruit into your diet? Add a gallon of wine. National Fried Shrimp Day. This seems to fall several times a year, but the best fried shrimp renders a brown paper bag to become clear. Go Caroling Day. Traditionally speaking, you must give carolers snifters of brandy so that by the…
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What Day Is It?
This week is Saturnalia! https://youtu.be/j8cmWK1uRu4 This is Gluten-free Baking Week. Unless you're in that 1%, stop being an a_ss. National Hard Candy Day. Is that a piece of candy or tooth? Look for an Evergreen Day. They're fresher now. Santa is real. The check is in the mail. Politicians think of us first. Chocolate…
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What D.ay Is It?
Barbie and Barney Backlash Day. Maybe they finally regret that affair. National Re-Gifting Day Remember, if you got it during the office Christmas party someone will remember that weird sex toy. National Chocolate-covered Anything Day. Cindy! Super food; Chocolate covered bacon! Man Will Never Fly Memorial Society Annual…
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What Day Is It?
Cat Herders Day. They leave hairs everywhere. They sit where you prepare food. They are condescending *kitten*. Yet some people collect herds of them? National Cupcake Day. IMHO created by someone who didn't cotton to sharing birthday cake, which is rarely good anyhow. National Lemon Cupcake Day. Cupcake bigotry. National…
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What Day Is It?
International Monkey Day. Good Idea. Let's joyfully celebrate those cute little nasty, selfish, thieving, pick-pocketing, self-centered primates. National Bouillabaisse Day. Better with beef. Halcyon Days Begins. Halcyon Days Ends. Deck The Halls Day. They are a mean bunch. They deserve it! Birthdays: Lindley Armstrong…
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What Day Is It?
Pick a Pathologist Pal Day. Everyone likes a good autopsy. National Violin Day. Red Neck fiddle. National Cocoa Day. Cindy! Ice Cream Day. Makes sense to me to celebrate on a meltless day. Count the La's in "Deck the Halls" Day. https://youtu.be/sE154vtGZms Birthdays: Taylor Alison Swift, 27 Rick Yutaka Fowler, 28 Eric…
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What Day Is It?
This is Christmas Bird Count Week. If you spot a Christmas Bird, call the Audubon Society Hot Line. National 12-hour Fresh Breath Day. For the other 12 hours, there will be NO kissing, whispering, or close talking. National Lost Day. Maybe this is the day you will find that sock, ear bud, pen, or mind. National Noodle Ring…
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What Day Is It?
Weary Willie Day. There are pills for this. International Anti-corruption Day. Two words: Term Limits Three more: Drain the swamp Four more: Good luck with that National Pastry Day. Remove the "r." Remove the calories. Add the fun. World Techno Day. The Eighties gave us big messy hair, Techno Music, and a wasted decade.…
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What Day Is It?
Take it in the Ear Day. I don't make these up. Just do it. You can always clean it later. Be Someone's Pillow While You Watch TV Night. Then fart. Is there anything funnier than a fart at just the right time? National Brownie Day. Pretend to Be A Time Traveler Day. Stolen: Dress up as if from the future (however that may…
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What Day Is It?
Letter Writing Day. Get your quill, ink, and parchment ready to long-hand write something maybe half of Millennials will be able to decipher. National Cotton Candy Day. Who can be down when ripping into that gluey, glutenous, gummy cloud of empty calories? Instant Replay Day. Don't we all wish for do overs, especially at…
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What Day Is It?
National Put on Your Own Shoes Day. Because you don't know where his toes have been. National Pawnbrokers Day. The neighborhood junkie's storage locker. National Gazpacho Day. Call it what it is, cold vegetable soup. National Microwave Oven Day. What did people do with left-overs before the box on the shelf? Birthdays:…
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What Day Is It?
This is International Coelenterate Biology Week. Please don't hamper my enthusiasm. This week only comes once a year. Bathtub Party Day. I'm all in! National Comfort Food Day. Pick one or add one: mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and gravy, pancakes, pot roast, beef stew, chicken pot pie, fried chicken, chocolate pudding,…
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What Day Is It?
National Fritters Day. If you fritter away your fritters today, you'll regret your weigh-in tomorrow. International Sweater Vestival. This is best celebrated wearing that ugly sweater vest aunt Millie gave you. Faux Fur Friday. Fine femme fatales find fancy fake furs fading fast. Safety Razor Day. Followed closely by the…
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What Day Is It?
December is Buckwheat Month. https://youtu.be/MgFDv_4oKsw December is National Stress-Free Family Holidays Month. Yeah, sure. No stress this month. December is National Tie Month. A bolo tie may go best with a lower neckline. National Wear a Dress Day. I'm so glad this only comes once a year. Bifocals At The Monitor…
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What Day Is It?
National Mousse Day. Chocolate for brunettes, vanilla for blonds, but which pudding should redheads put in their hair? Stay Home Because You're Well Day. Go ahead. Call in using this reason. You don't need that job. Computer Security Day. Is it ever really secure? Are those porn sites ever really deleted? Are those emails…
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What Day Is It?
National Chocolates Day. Some kind of chocolate day seems to come up every month. Cindy! Throw Out Your Leftovers Day. I take issue with this one. Single guy rules: If a liquid becomes a solid, throw it out. If it grows hair, throw it out. If the can is bulging, throw it out. National Lemon Creme Pie Day. Isn't it just a…
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What Day Is It?
This is National Deal Week. Shuffle em, cut em, deal. Make Your Own Head Day. OK, all you navy people, get a move on. National French Toast Day. What can possibly be a healthier way to start the day than devouring deep fried white bread coated with powered sugar, then slathered with butter and drenched with syrup? Red…
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What Day Is it?
National Day of Listening. OK, guys it's only one day. We can do this. Sinkie Day. Isn't it really the best place to nosh? After-all, those points don't count if they escape the disposal. Blase´Day. Who cares? You're Welcome Day. Too obvious even for my warped sense of humor. National Parfait Day. Great. We used up our…
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What Day Is It?
National Tie One on Day. It's not really about what you may think, but why not? You can sleep in tomorrow. Go ahead. That's why we have Uber. National Espresso Day. Macinazione Macchina Miscela Mano Mainline it. Scottish Open Badminton Grand Prix Begins Today. Current favorites are Lee Chong Wei, Chen Long and Lin Dan. Eat…
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What Day Is It?
National Start Your Own Country Day. Mine shall be called Lotsabullshitland. Go For a Ride Day. If you choose to go for a ride in Chicago, your next one may be on your back in a Cadillac station wagon. National Cashew Day. The only food that sounds like a sneeze. National Slumber Party Day. Or one night stand. Birthdays:…
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What Day Is It?
This is National Deal Week. Head for the Blackjack or Poker tables. Lose. Go home. False Confession Day. Go ahead. Tell your spouse/gf/bf you cheated on him/her. Wait five minutes before recanting. You'll both laugh years from now. World Hello Day. If you do have the cahonies to do the above, you may be saying hello to…
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What Day Is It?
Mickey Mouse Day. Why did Mortimer go through ink surgery and change his name? National Vichyssoise Day. Let's see. You forgot that you made leek and potato soup. So let's just serve it cold and call it vichy saw. Occult Day. Check your magic 8 ball. Grab your Ouija Board and black robes. Meet with your coven at the local…
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What Day Is It?
Public Restroom Hand Dryer Appreciation Day. Beats the hell out of using your pants. National Farm Joke Day. If a cow laughed really hard.... would milk come out of her nose? National Unfriend Day. https://youtu.be/7Ld1xnHG_qQ Use Less Stuff Day. Or is it Useless Stuff? About the same. National Tell Your Boss to Take a…
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What Day Is It?
National Button Day. Does anyone, other than nerds, close that top button when not wearing a tie? Beaujolais Nouveau Day. Biggest Wino holiday. Everyone in France gets blitzed and wakes up tomorrow with a violent hangover and a stranger. Have a Party with Your Bear Day. Take him out for a cocktail. Go dancing and who knows…
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What Day Is It?
George Spelvin Day. George is the most prolific and versatile actor of all time. I Love to Write Day. The only thing I love more than writing is breaking my little toe. National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day. If it's growing hair, it's time. Pack Your Mom's Lunch Day. Don't forget the vodka. National Geographic…
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What Day Is It?
This is National Split Pea Soup Week. IMHO the most gourmet of all soups. Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day. I'ts over. Four years from now, vote instead of leaving a blank. This is how federal republics work. National American Teddy Bear Day. I"m pretty sure most American teddy bears today are Chinese. National Pickle…
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What Day Is It?
Origami Day. I'm so excited that I'll have to wear Depends all day. Singles' Day. 我的钱包很兴奋，它将不得不穿尿布 Four Ones Day. Kind of obvious. Colorado River Crossing Balloon Festival. This can be more easily done in a car over a bridge. For the Captain Obvious, yes, I know what solemn day this is. It doesn't belong with trivia.…
