Exercise and Weight Loss Challenges

maryschwartzroby

I had too much sodium today and didn't get in my exercise.I did do a lot of walking though since I went shopping,just nothing I can record.It rained here all day.i hope everyone had a good day.

dasher602014

maryschwartzroby wrote: »

I had too much sodium today and didn't get in my exercise.I did do a lot of walking though since I went shopping,just nothing I can record.It rained here all day.i hope everyone had a good day.

I know about sodium! Walking counts no matter what but I do understand when it is not specific walking.

I had an interesting day. I went to see a new doctor. I have been on the wait list for a GP for about a year. Charlie's health story that she shared got me started to sign on to the list. Gayle's. Mary's and Beth's sharing gave me courage to make the appointment when I had a chance.

Unfortunately or fortunately, today is the anniversary of when I buried my previous husband and I became a mess in the doctors office. However, for the very first time, a doctor summarized what I had said and I felt heard. I had to deal with 4 deaths of those close to me in a very short time about a decade ago. I had been let down by the medical profession more than once in my life and it happened again at that point in time. And I still haven't gotten over Alan's sudden death and experience flashbacks and nightmares about what happened to us both.

I have more appointments coming up and for the first time, although I am still embarrassed that I am not strong enough to 'get over' things, I feel hopeful that I will get some help to do so.

I haven't told anyone of my family or friends about my struggles although my current husband knows some but not the extent of them.

I know our connection here is based on weight loss challenges but you guys have created a safe and supportive place. So I am using this space to practice being more open. Seeking medical attention when you haven't had it for a long time is very difficult. Particularly when you know that issues of the mind are part of things.

I am grateful that I live in Canada where I don't have to worry about the cost of seeking care. Gayle, my thoughts are with you because you have that additional challenge.

I am sure that my emotional challenges have been a large contributor to my weight gain. And as I lose weight and feel more myself again, I feel stronger.

Thank you for your support of my weight loss journey. It has led to the beginning of what I hope will be a happier me. We are really just a motley collection of strangers, but, you have all made a difference in my life. Thank you.

And I am down another lb today (but not counting it, it probably happened because of my upsetting day)

maryschwartzroby

dasher602014 wrote: »

maryschwartzroby wrote: »

I had too much sodium today and didn't get in my exercise.I did do a lot of walking though since I went shopping,just nothing I can record.It rained here all day.i hope everyone had a good day.

I know about sodium! Walking counts no matter what but I do understand when it is not specific walking.

I had an interesting day. I went to see a new doctor. I have been on the wait list for a GP for about a year. Charlie's health story that she shared got me started to sign on to the list. Gayle's. Mary's and Beth's sharing gave me courage to make the appointment when I had a chance.

Unfortunately or fortunately, today is the anniversary of when I buried my previous husband and I became a mess in the doctors office. However, for the very first time, a doctor summarized what I had said and I felt heard. I had to deal with 4 deaths of those close to me in a very short time about a decade ago. I had been let down by the medical profession more than once in my life and it happened again at that point in time. And I still haven't gotten over Alan's sudden death and experience flashbacks and nightmares about what happened to us both.

I have more appointments coming up and for the first time, although I am still embarrassed that I am not strong enough to 'get over' things, I feel hopeful that I will get some help to do so.

I haven't told anyone of my family or friends about my struggles although my current husband knows some but not the extent of them.

I know our connection here is based on weight loss challenges but you guys have created a safe and supportive place. So I am using this space to practice being more open. Seeking medical attention when you haven't had it for a long time is very difficult. Particularly when you know that issues of the mind are part of things.

I am grateful that I live in Canada where I don't have to worry about the cost of seeking care. Gayle, my thoughts are with you because you have that additional challenge.

I am sure that my emotional challenges have been a large contributor to my weight gain. And as I lose weight and feel more myself again, I feel stronger.

Thank you for your support of my weight loss journey. It has led to the beginning of what I hope will be a happier me. We are really just a motley collection of strangers, but, you have all made a difference in my life. Thank you.

And I am down another lb today (but not counting it, it probably happened because of my upsetting day)

I'm sorry you are going through such an emotional time.I lost a son to a heart attack and it's still hard to face.He was 32 and i always have the what if's,what could I have done differently.It's been over 10 years and on reflection I know there's nothing I could have done.I did go to the Dr.and he put me on an antidepressant.To lose 4 people close together had to be very hard.I'm glad you found a Dr.whom you like.Don't be embarrassed for seeking help.God put people on this earth to help each other.I hope you can find peace.

dasher602014

Thanks Mary. It is good not to feel so alone with my feelings. Your journey must be difficult as well. I do feel that maybe I can deal with things better with a supportive doctor.

dasher602014

And I decided to count my one pound. It was there on the scale again this morning, so I am claiming it!

I also realize that I am not wearing out my pants between my thighs any more! Getting back to me1

grandmothercharlie

Pam: Glad you liked Twenty Again. See why she is my favorite actress. You need to watch some of her others. Winter Sonata someday. And I loved Suspicious Housekeeper. I am enjoying She Was Pretty. And I started something else, but don't remember what. I have thought about Let's Eat 2. We are so much a like. Love the Lemon Ginger Cookies. Those and pizzelles are my favorite cookie.

Marney and Mary -- sometimes our strength can get us through trials that later, when our guards are down, pop back up and we relive or rethink it all. We can talk about such things here and glad you are willing to do so.

Gayle: You, too, are going through a lot right now. Remember, there is a difference between helping one get on ones feet and enabling. You don't do any good enabling. Whether it is picking up someone else's laundry, having someone hangout every day and/or evening who just is there, but doesn't contribute, or allowing a self-destructive behavior to perpetuate because there are no dire consequences. When was the last time someone took care of you? You need to make yourself your #1 priority.

Years ago I spoke with a counselor and was talking about a lack of support. He said, I see you like a porcelain doll sitting on a shelf that when held it is so fragile and it will easily break. I told him I wasn't like that at all. I was more like the huge ancient Eygptian statues that are admired because they are still strong and standing after years and years of weather and wars. Yet no one seems to notice that the nose or ears or arms are broken or missing because all they see is the strength. They don't see that the statue has partially worn away due to the stresses on it. I think many of us are more like that.

So speaking of stresses: After my proclamation here last week, I got hit with jobs at work that have really been above and beyond. On Wednesday, I got hit with a move that needs a lot of prep and I have little prep time. They also decided they want to expand the International Community Garden and I have to have that ready with fencing, irrigation, soil prep, etc. before a hard freeze so it will be ready to plant in April. That was bad enough, but...on Thursday afternoon at 3:30 p.m., I got called in a meeting that 36 people needed to be relocated to temporary locations by Monday morning so contractors could begin a renovation! Plus furniture stored, cubicles disassembled or scrapped, and the staff operational to the public, that meant phones, data, and signage for Monday, too. No disruption in service. I got everything planned on Friday morning by finding swing spaces for the people, with a moving company to do the big work, phone number shifts with telecom, and IT in to move computers. Helped people pack and label. Started the move at 5 p.m. Friday night. Had other jobs also planned for Saturday that I had to get done, too. I had already committed to a Tai Chi demo on Sunday and a birthday party for my son, Sunday afternoon, so I only had Friday night and Saturday to get it all done. I came in for a while yesterday morning to deal with any problems that might have occurred when starting up on Monday. Really weren't any.

Now, was there any reason for these last minute projects? NO! If people didn't procrastinate, organized their projects and planned in earnest, I should have known about all of this months ago! Not blindsided at the last minute! My boss really went to bat for me and complained to our director and her counterpart in construction who is ultimately in charge of these projects to quit assuming that they can wait and then give me the jobs at the last second to get them done.

So, I didn't eat right. I didn't log. I did get some exercise since Friday I only had time to sit down for exactly 1 hour and 15 minutes between 7 a.m. and 11 p.m. And I slept like you wouldn't believe. 7 hours Friday night. 9 hours Saturday night. 13 hours Sunday night when it really caught up to me. So, I will try to get back on track today! But for now, just finished some soup and on my way to tromp around the wet area where we want to expand the garden.

dasher602014

Thanks for all your support, ladies. I like the image of the figures standing strong but beaten up. I always feel I should be able to manage. Others do. And I am organized, responsible, compassionate, and not a wimp or a push over. But I sure got off track and have been running from responsibility and risk for a long time. I have more to give to society and those more immediately around me than I have been doing and I would like a fuller and happier life. So I am reaching for it but it is taxing my strengths.

Charlie, your saga sounds so familiar! I was often involved in those last minute moves. Not my job at all since I was a software designer and user support person. But my role was often to devise a Plan B. If computers were not working, and there were no desks or enough phones, how would the work progress? And Plan B often got enacted so I was on the hot seat to report on fallout and how Plan B was going and the progress on Plan A to solve it. I remembering often wondering how I suddenly became in charge when I was never included in the planning until the last moment? I think some of it is that you pull the rabbit out of the hat again and again so what is the problem? It got done. But your personal cost is high. Good that your boss fights for you. That sort of planning is ridiculous and they have to be called on it.

I remember being in awe of an computer operations manager. The entire brokerage arm of a bank was moving offices. All planned out, carefully. 2 days before the delivery of the new mainframe to the new site, where we could wire, test, and move the software according to plan, the powers that be, decided that they didn't want to buy a new mainframe. They wanted us to take the long weekend of the move to physically move the mainframe, wire it up, test all the programs, connect 1000 moved terminals from the newly moved desks and be ready for trading activity on Tuesday morning! It got stopped because the Operations Manager put his job on the line. It was the biggest "No" the firm had ever heard.

Not that I am recommending it. But you sound really good at producing rabbits from hats at the last minute and that is a tough job when they want too many at one time.

Take care of yourself. Sleep is good especially as we head into flu season.

dasher602014

Maybe a sign I remember from long ago.

"Your procrastination does not constitute my emergency."

grandmothercharlie

Marney: I think I have reached a time in my life where my responsibility should be to myself. There is nothing irresponsible or reprehensible to saying it is now my turn and I am going to have some fun. I'm still working, but don't feel that I NEED to contribute anymore. I do it for the $$$$, not for the fulfillment. Working now is a means to an end. I do a little volunteer work for the enjoyment, not a societal obligation and not to better the world. If there is a heaven or a hell, my place has probably already been reserved and I doubt that I'll change that at this late date. I have drastically cut my monetary giving this year and decided that I am now my own charity. It is someone elses' turn to volunteer, donate, and be the caregiver. My fulfillment comes from travel, enjoying my family, having a glass of wine or a fine meal when I want, enjoying the arts, and sharing those joys with my friends of choice.

gmabethof3

Marney, I am sorry you are dealing with grief, I know that your strength will get you through, and you know you always have you MFP family if you need to talk.

gaylebodine

dasher602014 wrote: »

Thanks Mary. It is good not to feel so alone with my feelings. Your journey must be difficult as well. I do feel that maybe I can deal with things better with a supportive doctor.

Marney, I think it is often impossible to just "get over it" or "put it behind you". Can really be life changing to get the professional help and support that's needed. I'm a true believer for sure. Contrary to common belief one does NOT have to be "crazy" to seek support. Thanks for your openness! Anniversary reactions are real. Mary, I am so sorry about the loss of your son.

This is also the time of year to acknowledge loss and honor those who have passed. Sad, scary. Halloween is a children's dress up day now but I think our ancestors marked this time of year to acknowledge the fear of the unknown and loss in life. Sorry, I tend to wax philosophical.

Last month my women's groups talked about and made art about the change of season and loss. This month we are moving into talking about what we are grateful for. Maybe we can move into that topic a bit closer to Thanksgiving.

gaylebodine

dasher602014 wrote: »

And I decided to count my one pound. It was there on the scale again this morning, so I am claiming it!

I also realize that I am not wearing out my pants between my thighs any more! Getting back to me1

Good for you Marney!

gaylebodine

"Years ago I spoke with a counselor and was talking about a lack of support. He said, I see you like a porcelain doll sitting on a shelf that when held it is so fragile and it will easily break. I told him I wasn't like that at all. I was more like the huge ancient Egyptian statues that are admired because they are still strong and standing after years and years of weather and wars. Yet no one seems to notice that the nose or ears or arms are broken or missing because all they see is the strength. They don't see that the statue has partially worn away due to the stresses on it. I think many of us are more like that".

Charlie, I love this statement. I feel worn down, for sure, lol. Yes, I have to ride herd on co-dependence. Man, in my group this weekend I heard myself say "My mother got to represent herself as a SAINT because my father was an alcoholic". When I heard myself I realized that I've been working towards such sainthood myself. Yikes. So praying a lot for the strength and insight to put my halo in a drawer and quite enabling. Jesh, how come I've got so much to learn when I'm so OLD? Gradual improvement, that's where it's at. Oh, and enjoying myself and life.

gaylebodine

Here is the other mystery I've been working on: why do I seem to start gaining my weight back when I hit 170? This will only be the second time it's started to happen but that is twice too much. This challenge I'm going to break through this pattern!

dasher602014

Thanks gang. You are all very wise and helpful, women's wisdom! Charlie, I think I too have reached a point where I want stuff for me. That is why one of my goals in this particularly challenge is to be selfish. Not a thing I find easy to do. But I intend to do it. We have been travelling and entertaining a great deal during these early years of retirement and I have enjoyed it, but I was aware that some of the activity has been used to hide from what I need to do for me. So I am going to be selfish. Not all fun but necessary. I will get back to fun soon and enjoy it more.

I have discovered a website about modern stoicism. Acceptance, courage and wisdom. Helpful stuff and interesting how life challenges don't change over centuries.

So, I am going to continue to work on what is in my control. What I put in my body and how I move my body. I can say that I have a daily walking habit starting again. 10 days in a row and I went this morning because I really wanted to, not because I should. Nature, stress relief, and exercise. Good stuff. I also realized today that I like my body shape now. Photos are not so complimentary, which is why I need my butt kicked to get back into gear but I like the mirror these days. Only halfway there but I like what I see!

gaylebodine

Sounds great Marney! I am going to find my book "Co-dependent No More" (I used to lend it to clients) and read it. Provide the stoicism website link, if you will. "Continue to work on what is in my control". Yes.

dasher602014

Hi Gayle.

Not yet sure about the benefits of stoicism but I am reading different websites. I looked up "Modern Stoicism" and found a number that were interesting.

Cclill

Im back! Just Enjoyed catching up with everyones posts.
Wow Gayle! I must have missed several chapters about the homeless guy!
You are a much much much much more generous person than i am.

I messed up at start of my writing retreat by buying groceries when i got to the coast, away from my routine.
I was looking for sugarless candy and saw chocolate covered cherries on sale.
My favorite candy in childhood.
My angrychild took over and i bought a box.
Had to eat it all in one sitting so it wouldnt torture me the entire retreat.
Good to be back on the program and confessing my sins!

gaylebodine

Welcome back Lill! Remember, no forbidden foods (unless they trigger binges). Got to give the angry child one treat each day I think, at least I do. Oh man, that technique of eating it all right now so it won't tempt you--don't you love the fat girl rationals? Here is a SoulCollage card of my fat girl parts.

gaylebodine

My homeless guy tells me he has been offered and job in the mountains and may more there. He hasn't answered my texts of "When?". Fingers crossed, lesson learned.