anemoneprose Member

i meet people (friends of friends; strangers) when i'm out (private parties, public places) and go from there (like, i am not dating online). it *always* starts organically through conversation, so it's hard to tell how things start -- i am usually gregarious when in a social setting (though am temperamentally introverted)…

yeah it's really not. check out today's throne speech if you haven't.

also single 3 years, happily so (but am thinking about maybe opening up to the possibility of a serious-type situation in the near future). so, 2nd-hand story if that's ok: a friend of mine, 41, realized/decided a year ago that marriage was a thing she wanted. she treated it like an aggressive job-search: weekly dates with…

agree with this, also: where do you live? big city, small town, rural area? is it typical for people to marry young and stay married where you are? would you consider a change in location if it made a difference? eg long distance dating, or moving to a place with a more compatible demographic? not suggesting just upping…

"Maria Kang is a fit mother of 3 boys born in 2009, 2010 and 2011. She has successfully competed in both beauty and fitness competitions since the age of 16. Her extensive fitness background expands a period of over 14 years as a personal trainer, group exercise director and instructor, membership sales counselor, fitness…

iiiiindeedy :)

yeah well it got into the 'excuses' many women might have for not looking like a semi-pro fitness instructor, like, absence of free time due to unequal domestic, reproductive, and economic responsibilities, and/or limited money. all women can and should look HOT until they die, so men don't have to take viagra to screw…

a LOT of women put up with less than ideal situations because the cost/benefit ratios re daycare/work do not favour them leaving.

why then did you laugh at the importance of daycare/resources, like that's a ridiculous thing to worry about?

ok please really try to imagine that these are real decisions with real impact on people's lives, that they have to make. stretch yourself. (not just you wheird, all the people who are not "downbeat")

i invite you to look at the cross national data again...

you raise good points -- there are changes, for sure. (i bet though that if you asked your friends to *count the time* they spend doing these things, it'd still fall close to traditional norms.) housework is imo totally not off-topic, it gets to the heart of why people are pissed off about it.

well i don't know exactly why it is that women persist in these gender-determined roles, other than that they have been socialized into gender and that stuff sticks. fear of marital breakdown was one possibility suggested. anyway it's not just a few dumb women, it's a lot of all kinds of women

I'm definitely glad I'm living today and not in my grandmother's time, that's for sure! Things are improving, but I don't feel like it's a good idea to just chill out about it (backlash, anyone? how cool is it to say you're a feminist these days?)

Well, at least one study suggests that the reason women aren't saying "help me" is because they intuit the marriage will break down if they don't keep dusting.. There are other studies showing that marriage generally benefits male health indicators (because they get emotional support, don't have to do all this work --…

it's not backdated actually, some of these studies are from the past five years, in north america, with women who were reproductive aged in that time frame. i know everyone would like for this crap to be over but it's not The Persistence of the Gendered Division of Domestic Labour Why has the gendered division of domestic…

well i mean, people can usually find the time to do *something*. but it's just one more expectation on a plate that's full of a crapton of other expectations along with a crapton of work (for a lot of women). i just wish there were more expectations to make things more equal all around, that's all, so women would have more…

that's wonderful -- i'm glad it's worked out in your home. i did not say it applied in every case, though, did i?

that is so inspiring and supportive, awesome

i didn't psychoanalyze you, i said "one reason you MIGHT". because you are 1) a woman who 2) grew up in a society that does this to women, *generally*. that is sociological.

LOL ok I'm also single at the moment, as it happens. This is not about me personally, at all. (and I'm no martyr btw) One reason you might be a control freak about it, is you've been socialized to clean -- to notice dust, etc; to know what to do with it; to feel uncomfortable in its presence, maybe worry how others might…

Ok so first me: - I don't have kids - Until this summer when I got tendinosis in my shoulder (to go with the ankle), along with runner's knee & arthritis in both knees, i successfully maintained a 50-lb loss for over 2 years; i've gained 10 back & am working on that now Sorry, but, though some men today are better than…

Absolutely. What I think is, both paternal and maternal leave should be mandatory, so employers can't bully men out of it. And that way, both people split the risk of lost opportunity for advancement, as well as the joy of parenthood. It'd probably be more complicated than that in practice, but that's my working proposal.…

THIS -- inequality of caregiving/domestic/economic responsibilities & societal expectations - is why feminists should be annoyed, not that woman's hotness (i don't think?), which is basically indisputable. though i think someone found fault with her elbows (?!?). @wheird - you got one, lol - it just was not funny, because…

maybe i was unfair, maybe you have some definition of 'catty' that isn't familiar to me. i thought i just sounded peeved?

it is not even comparable, dudes are not expected to invest the same amount of time in childrearing; their bodies aren't completely messed with by the invasion of another creature, there is not the same unreasonable expectation to maintain youthful beauty all through life, and the accusation of laziness if that doesn't…

Just to expand a bit more on some of the issues around working out at (the $ excuse, the age excuse).. There is *great* individual variability in orthopaedic health, especially if you're over a certain age. Some wear and tear is normal. But formerly sedentary people - ie the obese - are more injury-prone than people who…

maestro fresh wes - let your backbone slide http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eQt3KFNeh4 (these are canadian hits ok) marrs - pump up the volume http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGPhUr-T6UM yeah i'm going with marrs for the break :)

idk about *greatest*, but i thought the demics' new york city was good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwfkpW63Nj8 i also, lately, have had debbie gibson's 'only in my dreams' running riot in my inner ear (though i think she had 2-3 hits, but just the one album, maybe that can count? though yes unsure if great. would…

i never played organized sports (& there were none of these kinds of problems in my mean russian ballet teacher's class) -- is this formally affiliated with the school? because if so, (if i were the coach) this would lead me to suggest that maybe assistant coach & daughter should talk to the school counsellor & see where…