can't get a date
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OP needs to chill... I had GF's my entire life from 16 till 30 when i finally got my mind right and took the single road
Not that relationships are all bad, and Im always open to some fantastic relationship in the future... but enjoy the single time because its really not all that bad...
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I've been single for 8 years so I feel ya sister.... and I absolutely HATE the "stop looking and you might find it" line. I stopped for 3 years... that didn't do any good, so I started trying to date again and THAT hasn't done any good.
Single for just shy of 3yrs for me. I'd be interested to hear the tales of how folk did actually meet their partners/where they met them.0 -
OP needs to chill... I had GF's my entire life from 16 till 30 when i finally got my mind right and took the single road
Not that relationships are all bad, and Im always open to some fantastic relationship in the future... but enjoy the single time because its really not all that bad...
I was TOTALLY happy being single for years, and I don't really hate it now, but I would like to at least say I was in love once in my life LOL:laugh:0 -
I would find a singles ministry or a singles group on something like meetup.com that goes out and does stuff as a group or even just a non-singles group that shares an interest of yours. I think a great relationship starts with a friendship and you never know who you'll meet - plus, you'll be staying busy and having fun. Maybe take a look at your standards too. After two craptastic marriages, I refuse to settle on a few things next time but there are some things that aren't really deal breakers, they would just be nice to have in a man if possible. It may not be "love at first sight", so take a little time to get to know a guy and give them a chance.0
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I've been single for 8 years so I feel ya sister.... and I absolutely HATE the "stop looking and you might find it" line. I stopped for 3 years... that didn't do any good, so I started trying to date again and THAT hasn't done any good.
If you take the "dog" out of your screenname you could probably get plenty of hits on MFP
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You look like you are in nice shape. Let's face facts, it matters. Time to mix things up. Change your hair style and/or color, spend some time making yourself as attractive as you can in the eyes of others. Try new places and activities, make yourself do things out of the ordinary with the goal of getting noticed.
Note that I'm not suggesting you not be yourself once you get close to someone. I'm suggesting that your usual pattern (whatever it is) isn't working strongly enough in attracting them.
agree with this, also: where do you live? big city, small town, rural area? is it typical for people to marry young and stay married where you are? would you consider a change in location if it made a difference? eg long distance dating, or moving to a place with a more compatible demographic? not suggesting just upping and moving someplace without friends or a job lead there, but if you're in a small, conservative town, it might not be doing you any favours.
i may be looking at a move in a couple of years (for other reasons), and these are factors i am definitely thinking about.
(lol. really specific thoughts on a makeover direction, IF you were at all inclined to do one, totally slanted to my particular tastes: 1) contact lenses; 2) maybe a long, layered bob with a side part, worn down and loose, would be what i might like to see on you ignore these impositions of preference if no likey, of course. it would be awful to do your hair by poll. but i think that hairstyle would look nice on you. anyway a trustworthy hairdresser can offer advice if you'd like that kind of advice)
oh also, if you want love/marriage, do not wait. put energy into it, make it happen.0 -
I've been single for 8 years so I feel ya sister.... and I absolutely HATE the "stop looking and you might find it" line. I stopped for 3 years... that didn't do any good, so I started trying to date again and THAT hasn't done any good.
If you take the "dog" out of your screenname you could probably get plenty of hits on MFP
Oh I get hits on MFP lol, but those aren't RL so those don't count lol0 -
Single for just shy of 3yrs for me. I'd be interested to hear the tales of how folk did actually meet their partners/where they met them.
also single 3 years, happily so (but am thinking about maybe opening up to the possibility of a serious-type situation in the near future). so, 2nd-hand story if that's ok: a friend of mine, 41, realized/decided a year ago that marriage was a thing she wanted. she treated it like an aggressive job-search: weekly dates with new guys each time (procured online) for about 6 months. her current fiance (wedding before christmas) was one of them. odds, i guess.
i know she didn't waste time if she thought it didn't work - a handful of texts max, not more than 2 dates, she meant business.
also: she is very comfortable around this guy. very much herself. she is attracted to him, yes, but not twisted up by him, infatuated, anything like that. she likes his character and the way he lives, and the way their life is becoming, together... i think she had in mind the question, 'who would be a good *partner* for me?' early days of course, we'll see how it ends 0 -
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Divorced in 2003, one 2-yr relationship in that period - otherwise single. I feel ya pain gf! My kids are almost grown now, and about 3 yrs ago I moved a male roommate into my house. Long time friend who is asexual and doesn't chase any sort of tail. He's handy with tools, cuts the grass, pays me rent, brings the groceries in and takes out the trash. If I get tired of his nonsense, I go to my side of the house. LOL..... Try dating and trying to explain THAT arrangement!
I created a dating profile out of boredom the other night, and first man to write me says "he's married and there's no clever way to say that". I deleted my profile and asked myself "why bother?" Over the yrs, I've tried the online thing and it never ends pretty. We should co-write that book!
Last weekend, I had to ask a nice man around my age(48) to grab something off a top shelf for me. He seriously flirted, but at the time I didn't pick up on it. Then every isle he was grinning at me it seemed. I STILL didn't pick up on it. Then it occurred to me on the way home that I missed a grand opportunity to meet someone!!
Point of that ramble... look up, make eye contact with people in common places, smile, make small talk, ram your cart into that cute guy at the store, haha... I think we get on autopilot sometimes and don't notice when someone might be noticing us.0 -
I've been single for 8 years so I feel ya sister.... and I absolutely HATE the "stop looking and you might find it" line. I stopped for 3 years... that didn't do any good, so I started trying to date again and THAT hasn't done any good.
If you take the "dog" out of your screenname you could probably get plenty of hits on MFP
too funny!0 -
Take your time, don't rush things with anyone, being single is much better than being with the wrong someone. I was with the wrong women for a couple of years, that relationship almost got me killed.0
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I feel ya...0
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If you take the "dog" out of your screenname you could probably get plenty of hits on MFP
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LOL! I joined a few different social sports clubs. Kickball, softball, even skeeball! Met some cool people along the way0 -
Well nothing CRAZY - he needs to be between the ages of 37 and 53 (I'm 46) - at least as tall as I am (5 foot 5), have a job, not live with his parents...and I need to feel a connection - both physically and mentally. I don't think I'm asking for too much.
The problem you have, on a pragmatic level, is a very competitive market with a limited supply.
An emotionally stable, reasonably successful and in shape man in that age range would either have been snapped up already or will have a large selection of women to choose from. To be frank I think you're more likely to find Lord Lucan riding a unicorn...
So, you either need to revise your expectations, get everything you can going for you and put in a lot of effort, hope you get lucky or start praying.0 -
You say you are picky and won't settle and you wonder why? This is not meant mean as its something I had to do myself. Fix the person in the mirror. Its your attitude and personality that is keeping you single. No one is "all that". Its not about settling, its about getting over that ego. I was the same way and once I figured that out, my life improved 100%.0
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Well nothing CRAZY - he needs to be between the ages of 37 and 53 (I'm 46) -
Any dude between your age range of 37-53 is in his prime value part of life, they'll be going for chicks anywhere from 25-40. Maybe aim at a higher age
I've heard this. Look, you can't compete with 20 year olds, so don't even think about trying to. It sounds cliche, but be the best you. I have a friend going thru this, and she's seriously just out to get laid now. That's better anyway.0 -
If you take the "dog" out of your screenname you could probably get plenty of hits on MFP
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LOL! I joined a few different social sports clubs. Kickball, softball, even skeeball! Met some cool people along the way
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Skeeball club???? Must google this in my area!0 -
This is the OP. Thank you to those of you who offered viable suggestions. I must say I am disheartened by all of the hurtful, disrespectful, very insulting posts...and there were many. To those, I'm not even going to respond...but if your intention was to hurt me, you were successful.
Just so you know, I will not be reading any more posts on this thread. I don't need to be insulted anymore. It doesn't help me in my journey going forward. I already have enough negative images and voices in my head.
Again, thank you to those of you who were sincerely offering help and suggestions. I guess I will just take my big ego and my old lady self and be alone in this fight.
~D0 -
I am right there with you--online dating is, for the most part, no fun! I *strongly* recommend that you google the name "Evan Marc Katz," and then take as much of his advice to heart as you can. After reading one of his books, I rewrote my online dating profile and took some new pictures (helped that I'd dropped some weight at that point and was feeling good about myself). When I reposted my profile, I was getting significantly better messages--from men I found attractive, who could write whole sentences. I've only been at it for 3 months, have been on 9 first dates, and only 2 second dates, so it's not like I have a straight-up success story. But it's definitely been a more positive experience than in the past.
That being said, I think you need to use many tactics at once: online dating, meetups, Church groups, volunteering, social events in your town/city. Not all of us find relationships easily, so that just means we have to work a bit harder at it. But as they like to say, there's a lid for every pot. At least I hope there is...0 -
This is the OP. Thank you to those of you who offered viable suggestions. I must say I am disheartened by all of the hurtful, disrespectful, very insulting posts...and there were many. To those, I'm not even going to respond...but if your intention was to hurt me, you were successful.
Just so you know, I will not be reading any more posts on this thread. I don't need to be insulted anymore. It doesn't help me in my journey going forward. I already have enough negative images and voices in my head.
Again, thank you to those of you who were sincerely offering help and suggestions. I guess I will just take my big ego and my old lady self and be alone in this fight.
~D
What the?
Am I reading a different thread then you are?
I suspect that your bizarre and over reaction here if translated into real life perhaps would be a good place to think about working on.0 -
And PLEASE don't say "stop looking and it will happen."
Okay. How about this..."It will happen if you stop looking."
Seriously though, hard for me to really comment since I have been married for, well, like, ever and don't even remember what it is like to date. I can imagine it is frustrating to find someone to commit to and such.
But really, my first thought would be that maybe....MAYBE...you are sending out the wrong vibe. Maybe by actively looking it seems too aggressive for guys. I dunno cuz I don't know ya.
My only advice which I followed years back was, stay active in groups for things you like. So church, sports, hobbies, etc. DON'T actively date, but find guys to hang out with in the group' social circles and see what might spark up.
All the best.0 -
This is the OP. Thank you to those of you who offered viable suggestions. I must say I am disheartened by all of the hurtful, disrespectful, very insulting posts...and there were many. To those, I'm not even going to respond...but if your intention was to hurt me, you were successful.
Just so you know, I will not be reading any more posts on this thread. I don't need to be insulted anymore. It doesn't help me in my journey going forward. I already have enough negative images and voices in my head.
Again, thank you to those of you who were sincerely offering help and suggestions. I guess I will just take my big ego and my old lady self and be alone in this fight.
~D
What the?
Am I reading a different thread then you are?
I suspect that your bizarre and over reaction here if translated into real life perhaps would be a good place to think about working on.
I thought the same thing! I even re-read the whole thread to look for the insults, and didn't find any. All I can guess is that she feels insulted by those who suggested that she expand her age range upward (I disagree, personally) and that she should do her best to make sure she looks as good as possible and puts forth the most flattering photos, but that's just common sense. *shrug*
p.s. I also hate the "stop looking and it will happen" advice. I haven't been looking for 4 years and guess what that got me? No relationships for 4 years. That saying is just meaningless pap that people repeat when they have nothing thoughtful or original to offer, IMO.0 -
GTL0
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