can't get a date

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2

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  • helpfit101
    helpfit101 Posts: 347 Member
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    Who cares about dates. You said you wanted to get married.

    I think you should be looking at older men though. Like 10+ years older.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,026 Member
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    Are you actively looking? Meaning you are asking guys out.

    Or are you actively looking? Meaning you are waiting for guys to approach you?
  • ryall70
    ryall70 Posts: 519 Member
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    Dating is so strange. I have two boys and as a single mother and this "package deal" it's a whole other ballgame..but I have been married and divorced...and was in a relationship for 8 months last year. Now I'm OK being single. I like being in a relationship and all that comes with it....but I am content on my own.

    I tried the online sites too simply because I don't have time to go out all the time....but they turned me off dating. Just too many game players it seemed. Too many taking dating and relationships for granted a bit. I do go out sometimes when my ex has my boys and I do get attention. But I don't date just to date. Has to be a good match! :)

    I think the internet has changed things a lot and I kind of wish it would be old school a bit.

    [/quote
    Way to mamy game players!!!
  • Mobilemuscle
    Mobilemuscle Posts: 945 Member
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    Do you have a local bar where the local professionals go after work for Happy Hour? We have one that is a Martini bar and its a popular place for decent professional people to have a drink or two and meet new people after work.

    ahhh... thats where i know u from
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    Eh, I have been single since my divorce in 2010. On the exceedingly rare occasion that I meet someone I'm interested in, she is not interested. No reason to sweat it. Just gotta be happy doing your own thing. If your life is not complete alone, it still won't be complete with someone.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
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    And I'm going to add one more thing here: there is no such thing as your "perfect match". Stop looking for perfect. There are different levels of compatibility, but a good, solid long-term relationship is built not found.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    Eh, I have been single since my divorce in 2010. On the exceedingly rare occasion that I meet someone I'm interested in, she is not interested. No reason to sweat it. Just gotta be happy doing your own thing. If your life is not complete alone, it still won't be complete with someone.
    Exactly. Sometimes you have to just stop looking for it too and it might just happen then.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    And I'm going to add one more thing here: there is no such thing as your "perfect match". Stop looking for perfect. There are different levels of compatibility, but a good, solid long-term relationship is built not found.

    yes. it kind of goes back to "the grass is not always greener" except... for dating, lol. very rarely does mr. perfect exist but mr. pretty close is out there and you have to be open to that.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
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    You look like you are in nice shape. Let's face facts, it matters. Time to mix things up. Change your hair style and/or color, spend some time making yourself as attractive as you can in the eyes of others. Try new places and activities, make yourself do things out of the ordinary with the goal of getting noticed.

    Note that I'm not suggesting you not be yourself once you get close to someone. I'm suggesting that your usual pattern (whatever it is) isn't working strongly enough in attracting them.


    This is the best advice I think that you could get. Shake things up a little, join a club, or go places with friends where you can meet people. I also think that men like confident friendly women, smile and be the first to talk, may help.

    BTW the douch that suggested that guys your age are looking for younger women is full of crap, the women his age are probably too smart to go for his tired line, lol.
  • shutyourpieholeandsquat
    shutyourpieholeandsquat Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I've been single for 8 years so I feel ya sister.... and I absolutely HATE the "stop looking and you might find it" line. I stopped for 3 years... that didn't do any good, so I started trying to date again and THAT hasn't done any good.
  • Mobilemuscle
    Mobilemuscle Posts: 945 Member
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    OP needs to chill... I had GF's my entire life from 16 till 30 when i finally got my mind right and took the single road

    Not that relationships are all bad, and Im always open to some fantastic relationship in the future... but enjoy the single time because its really not all that bad...

    :)
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
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    I've been single for 8 years so I feel ya sister.... and I absolutely HATE the "stop looking and you might find it" line. I stopped for 3 years... that didn't do any good, so I started trying to date again and THAT hasn't done any good.

    Single for just shy of 3yrs for me. I'd be interested to hear the tales of how folk did actually meet their partners/where they met them.
  • shutyourpieholeandsquat
    shutyourpieholeandsquat Posts: 1,394 Member
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    OP needs to chill... I had GF's my entire life from 16 till 30 when i finally got my mind right and took the single road

    Not that relationships are all bad, and Im always open to some fantastic relationship in the future... but enjoy the single time because its really not all that bad...

    :)


    I was TOTALLY happy being single for years, and I don't really hate it now, but I would like to at least say I was in love once in my life LOL:laugh:
  • simplycorey
    simplycorey Posts: 721 Member
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    I would find a singles ministry or a singles group on something like meetup.com that goes out and does stuff as a group or even just a non-singles group that shares an interest of yours. I think a great relationship starts with a friendship and you never know who you'll meet - plus, you'll be staying busy and having fun. Maybe take a look at your standards too. After two craptastic marriages, I refuse to settle on a few things next time but there are some things that aren't really deal breakers, they would just be nice to have in a man if possible. It may not be "love at first sight", so take a little time to get to know a guy and give them a chance.
  • somerisagirlsname
    somerisagirlsname Posts: 467 Member
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    I've been single for 8 years so I feel ya sister.... and I absolutely HATE the "stop looking and you might find it" line. I stopped for 3 years... that didn't do any good, so I started trying to date again and THAT hasn't done any good.

    If you take the "dog" out of your screenname you could probably get plenty of hits on MFP :wink:
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    You look like you are in nice shape. Let's face facts, it matters. Time to mix things up. Change your hair style and/or color, spend some time making yourself as attractive as you can in the eyes of others. Try new places and activities, make yourself do things out of the ordinary with the goal of getting noticed.

    Note that I'm not suggesting you not be yourself once you get close to someone. I'm suggesting that your usual pattern (whatever it is) isn't working strongly enough in attracting them.

    agree with this, also: where do you live? big city, small town, rural area? is it typical for people to marry young and stay married where you are? would you consider a change in location if it made a difference? eg long distance dating, or moving to a place with a more compatible demographic? not suggesting just upping and moving someplace without friends or a job lead there, but if you're in a small, conservative town, it might not be doing you any favours.

    i may be looking at a move in a couple of years (for other reasons), and these are factors i am definitely thinking about.

    (lol. really specific thoughts on a makeover direction, IF you were at all inclined to do one, totally slanted to my particular tastes: 1) contact lenses; 2) maybe a long, layered bob with a side part, worn down and loose, would be what i might like to see on you :) ignore these impositions of preference if no likey, of course. it would be awful to do your hair by poll. but i think that hairstyle would look nice on you. anyway a trustworthy hairdresser can offer advice if you'd like that kind of advice)

    oh also, if you want love/marriage, do not wait. put energy into it, make it happen.
  • shutyourpieholeandsquat
    shutyourpieholeandsquat Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I've been single for 8 years so I feel ya sister.... and I absolutely HATE the "stop looking and you might find it" line. I stopped for 3 years... that didn't do any good, so I started trying to date again and THAT hasn't done any good.

    If you take the "dog" out of your screenname you could probably get plenty of hits on MFP :wink:

    Oh I get hits on MFP lol, but those aren't RL so those don't count lol
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    Single for just shy of 3yrs for me. I'd be interested to hear the tales of how folk did actually meet their partners/where they met them.

    also single 3 years, happily so (but am thinking about maybe opening up to the possibility of a serious-type situation in the near future). so, 2nd-hand story if that's ok: a friend of mine, 41, realized/decided a year ago that marriage was a thing she wanted. she treated it like an aggressive job-search: weekly dates with new guys each time (procured online) for about 6 months. her current fiance (wedding before christmas) was one of them. odds, i guess.

    i know she didn't waste time if she thought it didn't work - a handful of texts max, not more than 2 dates, she meant business.

    also: she is very comfortable around this guy. very much herself. she is attracted to him, yes, but not twisted up by him, infatuated, anything like that. she likes his character and the way he lives, and the way their life is becoming, together... i think she had in mind the question, 'who would be a good *partner* for me?' early days of course, we'll see how it ends ;)
  • gypsyrose64
    gypsyrose64 Posts: 271 Member
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    Divorced in 2003, one 2-yr relationship in that period - otherwise single. I feel ya pain gf! My kids are almost grown now, and about 3 yrs ago I moved a male roommate into my house. Long time friend who is asexual and doesn't chase any sort of tail. He's handy with tools, cuts the grass, pays me rent, brings the groceries in and takes out the trash. If I get tired of his nonsense, I go to my side of the house. LOL..... Try dating and trying to explain THAT arrangement!

    I created a dating profile out of boredom the other night, and first man to write me says "he's married and there's no clever way to say that". I deleted my profile and asked myself "why bother?" Over the yrs, I've tried the online thing and it never ends pretty. We should co-write that book!

    Last weekend, I had to ask a nice man around my age(48) to grab something off a top shelf for me. He seriously flirted, but at the time I didn't pick up on it. Then every isle he was grinning at me it seemed. I STILL didn't pick up on it. Then it occurred to me on the way home that I missed a grand opportunity to meet someone!!

    Point of that ramble... look up, make eye contact with people in common places, smile, make small talk, ram your cart into that cute guy at the store, haha... I think we get on autopilot sometimes and don't notice when someone might be noticing us.

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