Why is this even remotely controversial?

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Replies

  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Mom of three, deadbeat drunken unemployed husband, working one full and 2 part times in fast food. Husband drinks a good percentage of her income, so she eats free at the fast food places and spends her money buying food and clothing for the kids. She works 70-90 hrs per week and the rest is spent on housework, laundry, nurturing the kids, cleaning up after the deadbeat and sleep. No family or friends to help.
    Um...wasn't places like the YMCA and the Salvation Army Kroc centers developed for reasons such as this? So ALL persons would have access to exercise choices?

    An earthquake destroyed the YMCA and Salvation Army.

    Or it's a rural area with no YMCA or Salvation Army within reasonable distance.

    calisthenics are free

    Yep, but time to them isn't always.
    Why can you not help this poor woman in need?
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    So, she kicks the deadbeat out. Now she must quit her jobs because there is no one to watch the children while she works. But hey, no food = weight loss and now she has time to workout. Win!

    If she's leaving her children with a man like that day in and day out, she probably lost custody to the state already, anyway.

    And if not, hey! Guess where I work! The agency that oversees subsidized child care just for people like the woman in your example.

    Yep, you're right. She's just a lazy beotch that should get her *kitten* in gear and get fit.

    Only if she wants to and complains every day on the internet about how she wishes she could be fit.

    if she doesnt want to be fit, then she can spend that time doing what she does want to do.

    But I was under the impression you were speaking about someone who really really really wanted to get fit.

    This entire thread and its previous one have nothing to do with people who arent trying to get fit.

    pretty sure we explained that already.

    but yeah. If hypothetical you can make the time and have the space on the floor to do pushups, but instead of working out and working toward your goals, hypothetical you sits there like a lump and explains why it wont work for you and wahhhhhhhhhhhh, then yeah - stay fat and quit complaining.

    youre only allowed to complain about a situation that you are doing everything in your power to change. - my dad

    She can't afford the internet or a computer. But you are correct that she is not trying to get fit. She's just trying to survive.

    THEN SHE IS NOT AN EXAMPLE. AN EXAMPLE WOULD BE SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO GET FIT.

    Why are you trying so hard to waste our time?

    please help this hypothetical woman get fit.

    she has an abusive drunken husband.

    -fixed-

    she works 3 jobs and has little time

    -fixed-

    she has to eat at a fast food restaurant

    -fixed-

    no gym no ymca and no money for equipment

    -fixed-

    no family or friends to help

    -fixed-

    oh and one more thing - she has absolutely no desire to get fit,

    WHO ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU TROLLING US?
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    Mom of three, deadbeat drunken unemployed husband, working one full and 2 part times in fast food. Husband drinks a good percentage of her income, so she eats free at the fast food places and spends her money buying food and clothing for the kids. She works 70-90 hrs per week and the rest is spent on housework, laundry, nurturing the kids, cleaning up after the deadbeat and sleep. No family or friends to help.
    Um...wasn't places like the YMCA and the Salvation Army Kroc centers developed for reasons such as this? So ALL persons would have access to exercise choices?

    An earthquake destroyed the YMCA and Salvation Army.

    Or it's a rural area with no YMCA or Salvation Army within reasonable distance.

    calisthenics are free

    Yep, but time to them isn't always.
    Why can you not help this poor woman in need?

    ... choice.
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    My "side" is that your personal example is not proof that every mother living in poverty has the opportunity to become fit. They don't necessarily have to be fat, but sometimes regular workouts simply is not possible. Some people have really hard lives.

    I'm still waiting for an example. I asked for one a couple pages ago.

    Mom of three, deadbeat drunken unemployed husband, working one full and 2 part times in fast food. Husband drinks a good percentage of her income, so she eats free at the fast food places and spends her money buying food and clothing for the kids. She works 70-90 hrs per week and the rest is spent on housework, laundry, nurturing the kids, cleaning up after the deadbeat and sleep. No family or friends to help.
    Well, clearly she could leave the husband since he's irrelevent and she's doing all the work and paying all the bills.

    Her job is pretty active (see above in my comments) and she probably walks a great deal to get to and from work. She can eat less to lose weight and get the muscle definition.

    Is it hard? Sure.

    Not impossible, though, and money isn't a barrier.

    It is all about choices and that one isn't any less about choices. She chooses to stay with a deadbeat who drinks and doesn't work instead of taking control. As I said, if she truly wanted it, there's no reason she couldn't achieve it.

    Not sure if you are really this naive??

    Not sure if you are really this downbeat that you can't realize people have a choice to allow themselves to stay in a bad situation or to better their lives/themselves.

    So, she kicks the deadbeat out. Now she must quit her jobs because there is no one to watch the children while she works. But hey, no food = weight loss and now she has time to workout. Win!


    Wait...now *I* am confused...she left the kids with an unemployed deadbeat drunkard of a husband?

    Sorry...daycare subsidies and assistance programs.

    Been the single mom of three holding down a job, going to school, AND was in shape while I did it. Because, yes, I did get rid of the dead weight (that's another story...How I lost 180 pounds of ugly fat overnight...)

    But that's ok...the situation keeps changing to set the woman in the example up for failure.

    Nice try, tho.



    ETA: After perusing what came prior to my post it is apparent that you want to see your example lady fail.

    The point of the entire thing is that IF YOU WANT IT BADLY ENOUGH YOU WILL FIND A WAY TO GET IT. If you do not want it at all, that's fine, too...

    SMH
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Absolutely off topic, but I sincerely hope that "bad situation lady" finds all the resources she needs to improve her situation. I hope things get well enough that fitness DOES become her priority.

    This makes me want to volunteer somewhere.

    Totally agree!! And not really off topic, as the example was meant to show that there are sometimes situations so bad that making your own fitness a priority borders on ridiculous.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Mom of three, deadbeat drunken unemployed husband, working one full and 2 part times in fast food. Husband drinks a good percentage of her income, so she eats free at the fast food places and spends her money buying food and clothing for the kids. She works 70-90 hrs per week and the rest is spent on housework, laundry, nurturing the kids, cleaning up after the deadbeat and sleep. No family or friends to help.
    Um...wasn't places like the YMCA and the Salvation Army Kroc centers developed for reasons such as this? So ALL persons would have access to exercise choices?

    An earthquake destroyed the YMCA and Salvation Army.

    Or it's a rural area with no YMCA or Salvation Army within reasonable distance.

    calisthenics are free

    Yep, but time to them isn't always.

    we already worked out that she still has 6.25 hours of free time per day.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Absolutely off topic, but I sincerely hope that "bad situation lady" finds all the resources she needs to improve her situation. I hope things get well enough that fitness DOES become her priority.

    This makes me want to volunteer somewhere.

    Totally agree!! And not really off topic, as the example was meant to show that there are sometimes situations so bad that making your own fitness a priority borders on ridiculous.
    Why are you not helping her?
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    My "side" is that your personal example is not proof that every mother living in poverty has the opportunity to become fit. They don't necessarily have to be fat, but sometimes regular workouts simply is not possible. Some people have really hard lives.

    I'm still waiting for an example. I asked for one a couple pages ago.

    Mom of three, deadbeat drunken unemployed husband, working one full and 2 part times in fast food. Husband drinks a good percentage of her income, so she eats free at the fast food places and spends her money buying food and clothing for the kids. She works 70-90 hrs per week and the rest is spent on housework, laundry, nurturing the kids, cleaning up after the deadbeat and sleep. No family or friends to help.
    Well, clearly she could leave the husband since he's irrelevent and she's doing all the work and paying all the bills.

    Her job is pretty active (see above in my comments) and she probably walks a great deal to get to and from work. She can eat less to lose weight and get the muscle definition.

    Is it hard? Sure.

    Not impossible, though, and money isn't a barrier.

    It is all about choices and that one isn't any less about choices. She chooses to stay with a deadbeat who drinks and doesn't work instead of taking control. As I said, if she truly wanted it, there's no reason she couldn't achieve it.

    Not sure if you are really this naive??

    Not sure if you are really this downbeat that you can't realize people have a choice to allow themselves to stay in a bad situation or to better their lives/themselves.

    So, she kicks the deadbeat out. Now she must quit her jobs because there is no one to watch the children while she works. But hey, no food = weight loss and now she has time to workout. Win!

    So she should stay in a bad situation to avoid paying for daycare? :huh::laugh:

    ok please really try to imagine that these are real decisions with real impact on people's lives, that they have to make. stretch yourself. (not just you wheird, all the people who are not "downbeat")

    Oh please. I have helped advise quite a few women who were in bad situations to help give them the courage to make a decision to stay or leave. And then on how to protect themselves financially while preparing to leave. Even to the point of researching state specific resources they could use to help them. I am -not- a person who needs a lesson in compassion for serious situations.

    why then did you laugh at the importance of daycare/resources, like that's a ridiculous thing to worry about?
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Absolutely off topic, but I sincerely hope that "bad situation lady" finds all the resources she needs to improve her situation. I hope things get well enough that fitness DOES become her priority.

    This makes me want to volunteer somewhere.

    Totally agree!! And not really off topic, as the example was meant to show that there are sometimes situations so bad that making your own fitness a priority borders on ridiculous.

    we proved her situation wasnt the problem, her nonexistent desire to get fit is what is keeping her from trying to get fit.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member

    why then did you laugh at the importance of daycare/resources, like that's a ridiculous thing to worry about?

    she laughed because it would be ridiculous to stay in an unhealthy situation (for her and her kids) so that she wont have to pay for daycare.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    My "side" is that your personal example is not proof that every mother living in poverty has the opportunity to become fit. They don't necessarily have to be fat, but sometimes regular workouts simply is not possible. Some people have really hard lives.

    I'm still waiting for an example. I asked for one a couple pages ago.

    Mom of three, deadbeat drunken unemployed husband, working one full and 2 part times in fast food. Husband drinks a good percentage of her income, so she eats free at the fast food places and spends her money buying food and clothing for the kids. She works 70-90 hrs per week and the rest is spent on housework, laundry, nurturing the kids, cleaning up after the deadbeat and sleep. No family or friends to help.
    Well, clearly she could leave the husband since he's irrelevent and she's doing all the work and paying all the bills.

    Her job is pretty active (see above in my comments) and she probably walks a great deal to get to and from work. She can eat less to lose weight and get the muscle definition.

    Is it hard? Sure.

    Not impossible, though, and money isn't a barrier.

    It is all about choices and that one isn't any less about choices. She chooses to stay with a deadbeat who drinks and doesn't work instead of taking control. As I said, if she truly wanted it, there's no reason she couldn't achieve it.

    Not sure if you are really this naive??

    Not sure if you are really this downbeat that you can't realize people have a choice to allow themselves to stay in a bad situation or to better their lives/themselves.

    So, she kicks the deadbeat out. Now she must quit her jobs because there is no one to watch the children while she works. But hey, no food = weight loss and now she has time to workout. Win!


    Wait...now *I* am confused...she left the kids with an unemployed deadbeat drunkard of a husband?

    Sorry...daycare subsidies and assistance programs.

    Been the single mom of three holding down a job, going to school, AND was in shape while I did it. Because, yes, I did get rid of the dead weight (that's another story...How I lost 180 pounds of ugly fat overnight...)

    But that's ok...the situation keeps changing to set the woman in the example up for failure.

    Nice try, tho.



    ETA: After perusing what came prior to my post it is apparent that you want to see your example lady fail.

    The point of the entire thing is that IF YOU WANT IT BADLY ENOUGH YOU WILL FIND A WAY TO GET IT. If you do not want it at all, that's fine, too...

    SMH

    Yes, I was asked for an example of someone that could not make fitness a priority. I gave one. But it's not an unrealistic one. Unfortunately.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    But that's ok...the situation keeps changing to set the woman in the example up for failure.

    I noticed that and wondered if anyone was going to mention it. It's basically this totally extreme case being used as the only data point as for why comments like, "What's your excuse" are unfair. When, it really isn't relevant.

    But hey, anecdata rocks the casbah.
  • YaGigi
    YaGigi Posts: 817 Member
    It's controversial because fat people don't want to admit that they use all the excuses to be fat instead of eating healthy and exercising. If a mother of 3 young kids can do it, most people can do it.
    But instead of admitting it, people start blaming her because they don't want to face the truth - they're fat because they chose to be fat and hide behind excuses.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Absolutely off topic, but I sincerely hope that "bad situation lady" finds all the resources she needs to improve her situation. I hope things get well enough that fitness DOES become her priority.

    This makes me want to volunteer somewhere.

    Totally agree!! And not really off topic, as the example was meant to show that there are sometimes situations so bad that making your own fitness a priority borders on ridiculous.

    we proved her situation wasnt the problem, her nonexistent desire to get fit is what is keeping her from trying to get fit.

    Yes, of course you did.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Absolutely off topic, but I sincerely hope that "bad situation lady" finds all the resources she needs to improve her situation. I hope things get well enough that fitness DOES become her priority.

    This makes me want to volunteer somewhere.

    Totally agree!! And not really off topic, as the example was meant to show that there are sometimes situations so bad that making your own fitness a priority borders on ridiculous.

    we proved her situation wasnt the problem, her nonexistent desire to get fit is what is keeping her from trying to get fit.
    This ^^^.

    We came up with scenarios where the example woman could get fit IF SHE WANTED TO, which was the point.

    She doesn't want to and that's fine. But it's not a matter of can't.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    This is like playing with the sore loser kid who keeps making up rules or weapons to get around the defeat. *smh*
  • image_zpsd7ddab4a.jpg

    For all you women who think you cant do this in 8 months, i had a C-section, i also breastfed my daughter, i lived in a one bedroom apartment and had gotten laid off from my job for highrisk pregnancy. This is with Yoga and a calorie deficit, that bad situation doesnt cause her too over eat i certainly managed to get myself healthy on the little income i could make working with my grandpa. I hope she changes her situation if its that bad.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    And I still want to know why Bcattoes would watch someone live that way and not help her.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    My "side" is that your personal example is not proof that every mother living in poverty has the opportunity to become fit. They don't necessarily have to be fat, but sometimes regular workouts simply is not possible. Some people have really hard lives.

    I'm still waiting for an example. I asked for one a couple pages ago.

    Mom of three, deadbeat drunken unemployed husband, working one full and 2 part times in fast food. Husband drinks a good percentage of her income, so she eats free at the fast food places and spends her money buying food and clothing for the kids. She works 70-90 hrs per week and the rest is spent on housework, laundry, nurturing the kids, cleaning up after the deadbeat and sleep. No family or friends to help.
    Well, clearly she could leave the husband since he's irrelevent and she's doing all the work and paying all the bills.

    Her job is pretty active (see above in my comments) and she probably walks a great deal to get to and from work. She can eat less to lose weight and get the muscle definition.

    Is it hard? Sure.

    Not impossible, though, and money isn't a barrier.

    It is all about choices and that one isn't any less about choices. She chooses to stay with a deadbeat who drinks and doesn't work instead of taking control. As I said, if she truly wanted it, there's no reason she couldn't achieve it.

    Not sure if you are really this naive??

    Not sure if you are really this downbeat that you can't realize people have a choice to allow themselves to stay in a bad situation or to better their lives/themselves.

    So, she kicks the deadbeat out. Now she must quit her jobs because there is no one to watch the children while she works. But hey, no food = weight loss and now she has time to workout. Win!

    So she should stay in a bad situation to avoid paying for daycare? :huh::laugh:

    ok please really try to imagine that these are real decisions with real impact on people's lives, that they have to make. stretch yourself. (not just you wheird, all the people who are not "downbeat")

    Oh please. I have helped advise quite a few women who were in bad situations to help give them the courage to make a decision to stay or leave. And then on how to protect themselves financially while preparing to leave. Even to the point of researching state specific resources they could use to help them. I am -not- a person who needs a lesson in compassion for serious situations.

    why then did you laugh at the importance of daycare/resources, like that's a ridiculous thing to worry about?

    Well, for one we are talking about a made up example. And then the notion that she cannot leave a deadbeat, drunken husband who drinks up 51%+ of the example's income because he is the primary caregiver is absolutely ridiculous. Getting rid of him would immediately free up the majority of her income to be used to pay for daycare. Financially it would be an instant win.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Absolutely off topic, but I sincerely hope that "bad situation lady" finds all the resources she needs to improve her situation. I hope things get well enough that fitness DOES become her priority.

    This makes me want to volunteer somewhere.

    Totally agree!! And not really off topic, as the example was meant to show that there are sometimes situations so bad that making your own fitness a priority borders on ridiculous.

    we proved her situation wasnt the problem, her nonexistent desire to get fit is what is keeping her from trying to get fit.
    This ^^^.

    We came up with scenarios where the example woman could get fit IF SHE WANTED TO, which was the point.

    She doesn't want to and that's fine. But it's not a matter of can't.

    What was the example? Kick out the husband, quit her jobs and go on government assistance?
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Absolutely off topic, but I sincerely hope that "bad situation lady" finds all the resources she needs to improve her situation. I hope things get well enough that fitness DOES become her priority.

    This makes me want to volunteer somewhere.

    Totally agree!! And not really off topic, as the example was meant to show that there are sometimes situations so bad that making your own fitness a priority borders on ridiculous.

    we proved her situation wasnt the problem, her nonexistent desire to get fit is what is keeping her from trying to get fit.
    This ^^^.

    We came up with scenarios where the example woman could get fit IF SHE WANTED TO, which was the point.

    She doesn't want to and that's fine. But it's not a matter of can't.

    What was the example? Kick out the husband, quit her jobs and go on government assistance?
    Nope.

    But once again, you read what you want instead of what was written so you can continue arguing.

    And again, WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING HER?
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    This is like playing with the sore loser kid who keeps making up rules or weapons to get around the defeat. *smh*

    God modding.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    And I still want to know why Bcattoes would watch someone live that way and not help her.

    she's just so fat. :sick:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    My "side" is that your personal example is not proof that every mother living in poverty has the opportunity to become fit. They don't necessarily have to be fat, but sometimes regular workouts simply is not possible. Some people have really hard lives.

    I'm still waiting for an example. I asked for one a couple pages ago.

    Mom of three, deadbeat drunken unemployed husband, working one full and 2 part times in fast food. Husband drinks a good percentage of her income, so she eats free at the fast food places and spends her money buying food and clothing for the kids. She works 70-90 hrs per week and the rest is spent on housework, laundry, nurturing the kids, cleaning up after the deadbeat and sleep. No family or friends to help.
    Well, clearly she could leave the husband since he's irrelevent and she's doing all the work and paying all the bills.

    Her job is pretty active (see above in my comments) and she probably walks a great deal to get to and from work. She can eat less to lose weight and get the muscle definition.

    Is it hard? Sure.

    Not impossible, though, and money isn't a barrier.

    It is all about choices and that one isn't any less about choices. She chooses to stay with a deadbeat who drinks and doesn't work instead of taking control. As I said, if she truly wanted it, there's no reason she couldn't achieve it.

    Not sure if you are really this naive??

    Not sure if you are really this downbeat that you can't realize people have a choice to allow themselves to stay in a bad situation or to better their lives/themselves.

    So, she kicks the deadbeat out. Now she must quit her jobs because there is no one to watch the children while she works. But hey, no food = weight loss and now she has time to workout. Win!


    Wait...now *I* am confused...she left the kids with an unemployed deadbeat drunkard of a husband?

    Sorry...daycare subsidies and assistance programs.

    Been the single mom of three holding down a job, going to school, AND was in shape while I did it. Because, yes, I did get rid of the dead weight (that's another story...How I lost 180 pounds of ugly fat overnight...)

    But that's ok...the situation keeps changing to set the woman in the example up for failure.

    Nice try, tho.



    ETA: After perusing what came prior to my post it is apparent that you want to see your example lady fail.

    The point of the entire thing is that IF YOU WANT IT BADLY ENOUGH YOU WILL FIND A WAY TO GET IT. If you do not want it at all, that's fine, too...

    SMH

    Yes, I was asked for an example of someone that could not make fitness a priority. I gave one. But it's not an unrealistic one. Unfortunately.

    too late

    you told us to prove that she didnt have the opportunity to get fit due to her busy schedule, responsibilities, strenuous circumstances and lack of funds and help.

    we proved that she did and then you said - oh yeah and she doesnt want to.

    'not wanting to make fitness a priority is not an obstacle' because it isnt in your way, cause you arent trying to begin with!

    it is now completely clear to me that you are a troll, just trying to cause trouble and stir the pot and im here to actually help people, so im putting you on ignore and block. I feel like the things you type out are going to discourage people from believing in themselves and I would prefer to never have contact with you ever again.

    Im sorry i cant help you.

    good luck
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    Never mind.

    It's like pissing into the wind around here sometimes...
  • organic0gf
    organic0gf Posts: 87 Member
    I can't see why people are so critical of others. If you don't think someone is working out enough or good looking enough or smart enough, so what. Keep it to yourself. Criticizing only hurts others.

    And, often times the person doing the criticizing is the one with the image problem or that feels inferior in some way. It's a diversion to take attention off of (what they feel is) their own shortcomings.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Absolutely off topic, but I sincerely hope that "bad situation lady" finds all the resources she needs to improve her situation. I hope things get well enough that fitness DOES become her priority.

    This makes me want to volunteer somewhere.

    Totally agree!! And not really off topic, as the example was meant to show that there are sometimes situations so bad that making your own fitness a priority borders on ridiculous.

    we proved her situation wasnt the problem, her nonexistent desire to get fit is what is keeping her from trying to get fit.
    This ^^^.

    We came up with scenarios where the example woman could get fit IF SHE WANTED TO, which was the point.

    She doesn't want to and that's fine. But it's not a matter of can't.

    What was the example? Kick out the husband, quit her jobs and go on government assistance?
    Nope.

    But once again, you read what you want instead of what was written so you can continue arguing.

    Okay, I admit I missed it. What was the example?
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I can't see why people are so critical of others. If you don't think someone is working out enough or good looking enough or smart enough, so what. Keep it to yourself. Criticizing only hurts others.

    And, often times the person doing the criticizing is the one with the image problem or that feels inferior in some way. It's a diversion to take attention off of (what they feel is) their own shortcomings.
    Who are you even talking to?
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    And I still want to know why Bcattoes would watch someone live that way and not help her.

    she's just so fat. :sick:

    last thing i saw before putting her on ignore
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    you told us to prove that she didnt have the opportunity to get fit due to her busy schedule, responsibilities, strenuous circumstances and lack of funds and help.

    we proved that she did and then you said - oh yeah and she doesnt want to.

    'not wanting to make fitness a priority is not an obstacle' because it isnt in your way, cause you arent trying to begin with!

    it is now completely clear to me that you are a troll, just trying to cause trouble and stir the pot and im here to actually help people, so im putting you on ignore and block. I feel like the things you type out are going to discourage people from believing in themselves and I would prefer to never have contact with you ever again.

    Im sorry i cant help you.

    good luck

    Can't help me? Help me do what?