Why is this even remotely controversial?
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I am sure this has been said but, she's a fitness instructor right? She maybe has more time to devote to working out than somebody who doesn't work as a fitness instructor. Why can't she be proud of her achievements without worrying about other people's excuses? To me, it reads as unintentionally smug.
No, she isn't a fitness instructor.
"Fitness Expert"
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/mom-3-called-bully-excuse-fitness-photo-article-1.1487278
"Fitness instructor mom"
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/hot-mom-defends-sexy-photo-facebook-hate-20585381
I thought that she was a former fitness instructor?
I have no idea what she actually is at this moment, but she obviously has a bit more going on with regard to the health and fitness/modeling industries than the average woman.
I am a full time working mom, I am in decent shape and I can definitely know when I've let myself get lazy and make excuses, but I think maybe she's not acknowledging that the shape she is in is ALSO part of her job. That's all.
I am not sure of the point here. Both of these women should be proud or themselves. I am sure both are intending to be inspirational -- I believe your picture is a bit more successful in that regard.
Because it doesn't have children and she garners unneeded sympathy for being disabled?
I find it more inspiring because having children and a job or 2 are challenges a lot of women face, having a physical disability is not. I don't really have sympathy for her, just admiration - which is more inspiring.0 -
She works two jobs, does not have a nanny, housekeeper, or cook. She spends 4 hours per week in the gym, like many of us here. What it boils down to is dedication, consistency, and time.
^^This^^
If it's important enough to you, you'll make the time and fit it into your schedule. I may not have time to workout for 2 hours a day, but I can find half an hour a day, and so I structured my routine around that. I have to eat every day anyway, so I just make healthier choices than I did in the past when I cook. I have permanent injuries from previous sports I participated in, so I modify my workouts with that in mind, but I still work out. It's not just how much time you have - it's how you choose to structure it. It's not about the obstacles you have - because we all have them to differing degrees - it's about how you choose to deal with those obstacles. Is it easy? No. But it is absolutely achievable and that's what her poster says to me.
It doesn't make me think that I'll end up with her body, in the same way a make-up ad doesn't make me think I'll look like the model on the page if I use a certain eye shadow, but it does show me that, if I put in the work, I can have a fit body. Not HER fit body, but MY fit body. And that's motivating to me.0 -
I have seen this everywhere today. I dont find it fat-shaming at all......0
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I think she looks great and her kids are super cute.
I question why she thinks anyone owes her an excuse about anything, though.0 -
"Maria Kang is a fit mother of 3 boys born in 2009, 2010 and 2011. She has successfully competed in both beauty and fitness competitions since the age of 16. Her extensive fitness background expands a period of over 14 years as a personal trainer, group exercise director and instructor, membership sales counselor, fitness manager, freelance writer, and now founder/director of her fitness nonprofit, Fitness without Borders. She also founded the mom-me fitness club, a group where local moms meet at the park and exercise with their children."
yup just a regular mom, what's your excuse0 -
Eh..I'm not offended by the picture or the question, but I can see how some might be. I do think that she's a gorgeous, fit woman, and she has every reason to be proud of the shape she's in.
i like the cooking analogy (sorry, forgot the name of the poster that made it).
The message, at face value, just comes across as a little sanctimonious, no more so than if I showed you a picture of something I'm fantastic at (obviously she does a great job keeping and maintaining a fit body) and asking why you're not as good as I am. Example..I love to throw parties. I do all of the cooking, baking, planning, decide on signature cocktails to serve, make centerpieces, etc. I work a 50+ hour a week job, have two teenagers who play 2 sports each, etc., etc.. My friends ask me how I manage to do it, and the answer is simple. I love to do it, so I'm going to make it a priority. Yay for me. I don't take copious amounts of pictures to post to FB, showing off the results of all of the hours of hard work I put into it. I don't need that kind of external validation, I guess.
Anyway, I do believe that you can maintain that kind of shape by healthy eating and exercising a few hours a week, but the amount of time it takes to get there will depend on a lot of factors (age, starting weight, etc.).
I also think the message of 'you should have a body like mine, no excuses' attributes to eating disorders and body image issues in young women. It's why you see the, "I eat 1000 calories a day and work out 10 hours a week and still don't look like a fitness model' posts around here. And, yes, I get that she 'didn't mean it like that', but there are many many women in our body image obsessed culture that will take it like that.
Again, I can see both sides of this particular coin and am fairly neutral on the topic.
I didn't read the previous threads, so just my take.
Oh - and my excuse is that I like to eat the food and drink the drinks. :drinker:0 -
I agree, shell, and that was really well-said.
I'm not overweight but I'm not in the shape I'd like to be yet. I looked at the picture while eating a donut on a day I decided not to exercise, and thought, "Who is this woman asking me to excuse my lazy donut day to her?" It does come off as sanctimonious. I'd think that no matter what she looked like. No one owes anyone an explanation for the choices they make.0 -
I think she looks great and her kids are super cute.
I question why she thinks anyone owes her an excuse about anything, though.
I think this is probably the root of annoyance. In defending herself, she writes, "Just do you. Let others tell their own story." She may have answered her own question as to why people got annoyed when she said that.
She does have an online book that focuses on no excuses, and in that context, it feels more appropriate. If I were reading her book, that picture would have context for me and would probably gel and stick with me and be motivating.
The important part of her FB page is that she says she eats clean and puts her not perfect night as dark chocolate covered acai berries and wine. Who is going to invite her to a MFP clean eating thread?0 -
Here's the thing: that poster is going to be pretty much universally offensive to any woman who is not familiar with the aggressive nature of motivational fitness posters.
Here's why.
I happen to be a really good cook. I mean really good. My family prefers that I make them food rather than eating out at nice restaurants. Friends always want my recipes and coworkers can't wait for Chile Verde day. The reason I am so good at is is because I love it. I love everything about food and its preparation. I have Thursdays off, and at least 60% of the day is spent in the kitchen making food, because it is my hobby and my idea of enjoyable time spent.
Now, I could make a poster with a delicious dinner that I just prepared and write "Wanna learn how to cook? You can do it!" or I can put the caption "What's your excuse?". The latter, could reasonably be perceived as giving the middle finger to all the moms who are making hamburger helper that day. It could be seen as an attempt to make people feel guilty because they find cooking to be drudgery and don't want to invest a sizable amount of their time to it. Not everyone enjoys cooking, and that's okay.
Now, the woman in this poster obviously takes a lot of time puts in a lot of effort on her body. Good for her, she looks great. I assume that fitness is a hobby for her based on her history. That does not mean that anyone who is not willing to spend the massive amount of energy required to look like a fitness model is failing at life or "making excuses".
You can be perfectly happy and healthy by being mindful of caloric input and by working out for 20 min a day in addition to playing with your kids or doing chores or whatever. For most people, the is perfectly fine, there is no need to push for more. For them, lifting weights is not their idea of a fun time. And that's okay.
^^^^^^THIS. EXACTLY.0 -
When I pledged my sorority I learned a very valuable quote, "Excuses are the tools of the incompetent, used to build monuments of nothingness. Those who specialize in them seldom succeed at anything else, therefore there are no excuses."
I have tried to apply this in life, though sometimes I fail. I look at this picture and I think it should be a wakeup call to all of those who have a million excuses as to why they can't eat better or move more. I don't see this as fat shaming, but those who call her a bully are projecting their own insecurities on her. If you read her background, she grew up with an overweight mother who was hospitalized on her wedding day due to her weight/health issues. This is not a game, this is your life. And there is no excuse to not make your health a priority. You don't have to look like Maria Kang, but you can be your best you, not only for yourself but your family. I have family members who have died of congestive heart failure, diabetes, strokes and yet very few people in my family saw this as a sign that maybe they should do things differently. No they are continuing on with the same bad habits, hoping for a different outcome. I am not my best self yet, but I know I will be as long as I don't make excuses.0 -
The photo is from the cover of her book she is selling. The FB photo, with the 'What's Your Excuse' slogan is a marketing strategy to SELL HER BOOK.
That woman looks like she does, because her number one priority in life is to succeed in everything she does. Since she was a young teenager, her body has been extremely important to her. She will do whatever she has to do to make sure her body is as perfect as it can be. Her body is her job.
When something has that high of a priority in your life, you make the time and effort it takes. Good for her.
She isn't the only mom who looks great after having kids. Look at Heidi Klum. She has had 3 or 4 kids and looks amazing. And she must be close to 40 by now. She looks like that because her job is based on her looks. But I have never seen Heidi brag about her body after having multiple kids, and tell other mom's they should look like her.
But where I think Maria crossed the line, is when she added the "What's Your Excuse" slogan. It was just a bit too in your face and arrogant for the general public of mom's struggling with losing baby weight.
But Type A personality people like her do not worry about what other people think, as long as it benefits them in their goals.
She also claims to have loose skin and stretch marks, but you do not see any of that in the FB photo. Leave out the photo-shopping next time.0 -
So, have you become a billionaire already? Is that aiming too high? Wait, 'aiming too high' is an excuse, sorry, you don't make those.When I pledged my sorority I learned a very valuable quote, "Excuses are the tools of the incompetent, used to build monuments of nothingness. Those who specialize in them seldom succeed at anything else, therefore there are no excuses."
I have tried to apply this in life, though sometimes I fail. I look at this picture and I think it should be a wakeup call to all of those who have a million excuses as to why they can't eat better or move more. I don't see this as fat shaming, but those who call her a bully are projecting their own insecurities on her. If you read her background, she grew up with an overweight mother who was hospitalized on her wedding day due to her weight/health issues. This is not a game, this is your life. And there is no excuse to not make your health a priority. You don't have to look like Maria Kang, but you can be your best you, not only for yourself but your family. I have family members who have died of congestive heart failure, diabetes, strokes and yet very few people in my family saw this as a sign that maybe they should do things differently. No they are continuing on with the same bad habits, hoping for a different outcome. I am not my best self yet, but I know I will be as long as I don't make excuses.
How about: 'So, you've consistently exceeded every expectation for you set by every authority figure in your life?' If not, I'm sorry you failed. . . since any other explanation would be an 'excuse.'0 -
I am sure this has been said but, she's a fitness instructor right? She maybe has more time to devote to working out than somebody who doesn't work as a fitness instructor. Why can't she be proud of her achievements without worrying about other people's excuses? To me, it reads as unintentionally smug.
No, she isn't a fitness instructor.
Like I am not going to go so far as to call her a "bully" but if she's an "sometimes model" (http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/mom-3-called-bully-excuse-fitness-photo-article-1.1487278) she is getting paid to look that way, which is a lot different than a woman who isn't.
Yeah, I definitely wouldn't say "bully", but smug seems to fit (based on nothing other than the pic and caption). Personally, I found it a lot easier to exercise regularly when I had young children at home. My girls were little bundles of energy. I never had time to sit around when they were there. Seems like there was always something active going on. I never had a weight problem until my nest emptied. Then I had to put thought into working out.0 -
But where I think Maria crossed the line, is when she added the "What's Your Excuse" slogan. It was just a bit too in your face and arrogant for the general public of mom's struggling with losing baby weight.
I don't think the general public of moms was her target, though. It was for people already following her page, who'd already agreed with her "no excuses" message.
People love their excuses, and don't seem to differentiate between excuses and reasons.
"Looking like her is not a priority." "Visible abs aren't my goal." "I'm working at it, and I'm not at my goal yet." Those are reasons.
"I don't have time." "I have kids." "I don't have money for a gym." Those are excuses.
And the same mentality happens in other areas. I already mentioned a few pages ago about the women who get all stressed out because their lives don't match up to posts on Facebook and Pinterest.
I saw it again last night, on the Facebook page for Game of Thrones, where someone posted a spoiler for next season. The person posting the spoiler said something like, "Read the books." And I'd be perfectly ok with someone saying, "I don't want to read the books; I'd rather watch the show," but they instead said, "I don't have TIME to waste reading books, because I have children!"
The show's been on hiatus since June. The book the spoiler is in was released in 2005. If they had time to watch the show they have time to read the books, especially since you can read a book anywhere, but you can't watch that show when the kids are around. If they don't want to read them, fine. But don't play the "I have kids" card.
Same goes for eating right and making time to exercise. If it's not a priority, then it's not a priority. Just don't blame your kids, and don't accuse people who do make the time of being bad parents.0 -
In0
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is there cake here?0
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is there cake here?
the cake is a lie!
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It's odd that most of the posts come from people that just want to "hate" on some "haters" so it's pretty much just a big glass house party, everyone grab a rock. Guess it does have to do with excuses after all. "This fat person disagrees with me so it gives me a great excuse to hate on everything about them".holy crumbolies you people pushed this into 3?!?! Guess it was pretty controversial0 -
I'm sure this thread has degraded to where it's barely tied to the OP at this point, but...
I was thinking about this on my run this morning. To me, it's about a woman who has
1) figured out how to prioritize what she wants in life
2) figured out how to manage her time with respect to her priorities (see point 1)
3) not make excuses about having too little time (see point 2)
Most of us, as adults with adult responsibilities (be it jobs, kids, homes, training, etc), don't have enough time to really excel at all of the things we have going on. We don't have the time and energy to work 70hours a week in order to work our way up through the company. We can't afford to be stay-at-home parents. We can't dust and vacuum every other day. We can't train 2x day 5x a week. We can do 1 of those things. Maybe 2 or 3 of them. But we can't do them all.
So we have to prioritize, then manage our time with respect to those priorities. If you put family and training ahead of your career, fine... but then don't ***** about saying in middle management for 20 years. If you put family and work ahead of training, fine... but don't whine when you don't see the results others do.
1) Set your priorities, then own them.
2) Manage your time based on those priorities, and accept the fact that #5 on the priority list probably won't improve much, which is fine if you've really accepted your priorities and the limits of what you can/will do.
And on a side note, don't compare yourself to others. Your priorities are yours - give 100% to them and be happy with that.0 -
This thing is still going on? I gave up after page 3 of part 1. How much more women bashing can the women do?0
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is there cake here?
the cake is a lie!
it is just one disappointment after another. What is the excuse for having no cake here???0 -
This thing is still going on? I gave up after page 3 of part 1. How much more women bashing can the women do?
like the male ego it knows no bounds0 -
She's been on talk shows and is still on my front page on Bing....I'd say she's already gotten her 15 minutes of fame from this...time to move on.0
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Okay I can no longer resist this thread.
I don't like "What's Your Excuse?". At all. It makes no difference whose picture sits on top of that phrase.
The reason I don't like it is because it invites me to compare myself to the subject, and I have spent years struggling with feeling poorly about myself because of that very behavior rather than focusing on being my best.
But that problem is MINE, not Maria's or anyone else's. So I own it, and choose to ignore a message that prompts me to feel poorly about myself or take my eyes off my goals.
If you take time to gain understanding and ownership of why an image makes you feel a certain way, there's much less to be upset about.0 -
I'm sure this thread has degraded to where it's barely tied to the OP at this point, but...
I was thinking about this on my run this morning. To me, it's about a woman who has
1) figured out how to prioritize what she wants in life
2) figured out how to manage her time with respect to her priorities (see point 1)
3) not make excuses about having too little time (see point 2)
Most of us, as adults with adult responsibilities (be it jobs, kids, homes, training, etc), don't have enough time to really excel at all of the things we have going on. We don't have the time and energy to work 70hours a week in order to work our way up through the company. We can't afford to be stay-at-home parents. We can't dust and vacuum every other day. We can't train 2x day 5x a week. We can do 1 of those things. Maybe 2 or 3 of them. But we can't do them all.
So we have to prioritize, then manage our time with respect to those priorities. If you put family and training ahead of your career, fine... but then don't ***** about saying in middle management for 20 years. If you put family and work ahead of training, fine... but don't whine when you don't see the results others do.
1) Set your priorities, then own them.
2) Manage your time based on those priorities, and accept the fact that #5 on the priority list probably won't improve much, which is fine if you've really accepted your priorities and the limits of what you can/will do.
And on a side note, don't compare yourself to others. Your priorities are yours - give 100% to them and be happy with that.
Good points, bravo. Since I plan on putting my career over family for the time being, 5 years ago I stayed at home to be a SAHM, I can't wait til I'm making the big bucks. Then I will post a picture of me and my kid on FB, rolling around in cash, and be like "What's Your Excuse?" Boom! In yo face, friends and family! SUCKAS.0 -
But that problem is MINE, not Maria's or anyone else's. So I own it, and choose to ignore a message that prompts me to feel poorly about myself or take my eyes off my goals.
If you take time to gain understanding and ownership of why an image makes you feel a certain way, there's much less to be upset about.
*like*0 -
I am a full time working mom, I am in decent shape and I can definitely know when I've let myself get lazy and make excuses, but I think maybe she's not acknowledging that the shape she is in is ALSO part of her job. That's all.
It's a three word meme (plus her web address and the children's ages), which was posted on her Facebook page. Anyone* who's on her Facebook page can peep at her "about" page and see that she's done some modeling and pageants about 10 years ago. And they'll see her before, during and after pictures, too.
* Anyone who doesn't get angry after looking at the photo for two seconds.
I have a blog and Facebook page myself. I don't post my entire life story on every image I upload. I'm currently blogging about my Halloween costumes, and how I did them. Do I need to post a disclaimer that I've been making costumes for about 30 years so people with less sewing and crafting skills don't feel bad?
:laugh: :laugh:0 -
Here's the thing: that poster is going to be pretty much universally offensive to any woman who is not familiar with the aggressive nature of motivational fitness posters.
Here's why.
I happen to be a really good cook. I mean really good. My family prefers that I make them food rather than eating out at nice restaurants. Friends always want my recipes and coworkers can't wait for Chile Verde day. The reason I am so good at is is because I love it. I love everything about food and its preparation. I have Thursdays off, and at least 60% of the day is spent in the kitchen making food, because it is my hobby and my idea of enjoyable time spent.
Now, I could make a poster with a delicious dinner that I just prepared and write "Wanna learn how to cook? You can do it!" or I can put the caption "What's your excuse?". The latter, could reasonably be perceived as giving the middle finger to all the moms who are making hamburger helper that day. It could be seen as an attempt to make people feel guilty because they find cooking to be drudgery and don't want to invest a sizable amount of their time to it. Not everyone enjoys cooking, and that's okay.
Now, the woman in this poster obviously takes a lot of time puts in a lot of effort on her body. Good for her, she looks great. I assume that fitness is a hobby for her based on her history. That does not mean that anyone who is not willing to spend the massive amount of energy required to look like a fitness model is failing at life or "making excuses".
You can be perfectly happy and healthy by being mindful of caloric input and by working out for 20 min a day in addition to playing with your kids or doing chores or whatever. For most people, the is perfectly fine, there is no need to push for more. For them, lifting weights is not their idea of a fun time. And that's okay.
I don't think it takes talent to get fit. Cooking, on the other hand, is a talent. Some people can practice for decades and still be "just ok" at it.0 -
Interesting thing is she originally posted that picture a year ago.0
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I don't think it takes talent to get fit. Cooking, on the other hand, is a talent. Some people can practice for decades and still be "just ok" at it.
Like my mother in law. Except the "just ok" part. :sick:0
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