Why is this even remotely controversial?

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Replies

  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    However, through her choice of wording alone, SHE is bullying innocent people that don't live up to HER standards on her FB page (not to mention others now that it's gone viral).

    OPINION. Personal Perception. Flag on the play.

    himym-gif-youve-been-lawyered.gif

    You'll have to shut down the entire internet then if personal opinions are no longer allowed :noway: :laugh:
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    Absences that were because I didnt feel like going - were not considered excused absences and if I had too many unexcused absences, I would fail.

    Excused absences were only allowed for circumstances beyond my or my parents control.
    But, that would mean that "excused absences" were ones for which you had a legitimate excuse. Your originally stated position - quoted, as I understood it, verbatim from your sorority pledge days - is that there is no such thing as a legitimate excuse, because to say otherwise would undermine the validity of the "no excuses" stance it takes. It doesn't say "no excuses, unless they're really good or somehow legitimate."

    look here, mr lard sandwich - i didnt go to college and I do not appreciate you trying to make me feel bad about it. I was raised in an isolated religious cult which forbid attending college and I had to fight just to attend public school before that. Insinuating that I had access to sororities and such, when I never said anything of the sort, is bullying me. I had a very good reason for not attending college.

    Also - i was responding to your question about excused / non-excused absences. This is referring to excused in its verb form. Excused - means the reason was deemed out of our control. Unexcused means there was not a valid explanation.

    Excuse - as in - allow exception from obligation
    not
    Excuse - as in - "i cant exercise cause im broke"
    As I have no way whatsoever of knowing your particular educational background, there's no way whatsoever I could be judging it. I indicated, quite clearly I thought, that my responses stemmed from MrsMalcolm's posted sorority mantra of "no excuses."

    Is it really your belief that the noun form of "excuse" and the verb form of "excuse" have different origins?

    An excused absence is an absence whose excuse has been validated by the powers that be as a legitimate enough reason for missing. :)

    You offer up your excuse to the school authority... They judge it and weigh it's validity. If THEY agree, then your excuse is a valid reason for missing, and the absence is marked as excused.



    ooooooh words excite me
  • jenbrown481
    jenbrown481 Posts: 3 Member
    What I find most offensive about the photo is the woman's narcissism, along with her willingness to rub her fitness in the faces of others. Do I think this ought to be making people irate? No. I don't think it's worth the effort to get worked up about it, unless you are trying to burn a few extra calories. On the other hand, do I think it would be fun to sit down for coffee with this woman and talk about fitness (or anything else, for that matter)? No. She seems really full of herself.

    Narcissism?

    You are certainly taking quite a judgmental leap to assign her horrible personality deficiency, based solely on a single picture and a phrase that some (not saying "all", or even "many") may find inspirational.

    YOU are taking a leap by saying that I'm assigning her a personality deficiency. 'Narcissism' is a word that actually has meaning in the English language independent of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The word is based on the Greek myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with his own image. From Merriam-Webster:

    narcissism (n): love of or sexual desire for one's own body

    You may not think that this quality is depicted in the photo; I do. You may be inspired by this photo; I'm not.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    What I find most offensive about the photo is the woman's narcissism, along with her willingness to rub her fitness in the faces of others. Do I think this ought to be making people irate? No. I don't think it's worth the effort to get worked up about it, unless you are trying to burn a few extra calories. On the other hand, do I think it would be fun to sit down for coffee with this woman and talk about fitness (or anything else, for that matter)? No. She seems really full of herself.

    Narcissism?

    You are certainly taking quite a judgmental leap to assign her horrible personality deficiency, based solely on a single picture and a phrase that some (not saying "all", or even "many") may find inspirational.

    YOU are taking a leap by saying that I'm assigning her a personality deficiency. 'Narcissism' is a word that actually has meaning in the English language independent of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The word is based on the Greek myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with his own image. From Merriam-Webster:

    narcissism (n): love of or sexual desire for one's own body

    You may not think that this quality is depicted in the photo; I do. You may be inspired by this photo; I'm not.

    You reached this conclusion based entirely on this one photo?

    A photo of a mom in workout attire and her three kids...and a three-word caption?

    0.jpg
  • tallmansix
    tallmansix Posts: 57
    Very amusing thread(s).

    Maria's caption is cleverly worded, the haters fall for it hook, line and sinker by interpreting the question in a way that suits their own needs to show hatred.

    The clever bit is not defining the exactly what she is asking you to excuse. Is Maria asking you to excuse yourself for:

    1. Not being skinny, sexy, pretty and confident?

    or

    2. Not being as healthy and fit as possible to ensure you are at your optimum physically for being a mum to 3 kids so you can do more for them? Doing your best to ensure you can live as long as possible to be around for your kids?

    I think the haters assume she is asking for excuses for number 1, but number 2 is equally valid.

    I had assumed everyone on this site had goals related to health and well-being but it seems that some people only care for their own narrow minded goals are those of others aren't valid.

    Show some love and respect MFP people for the common goal of health and well-being, Maria hasn't hurt anybody or said anything hateful.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    What I find most offensive about the photo is the woman's narcissism, along with her willingness to rub her fitness in the faces of others. Do I think this ought to be making people irate? No. I don't think it's worth the effort to get worked up about it, unless you are trying to burn a few extra calories. On the other hand, do I think it would be fun to sit down for coffee with this woman and talk about fitness (or anything else, for that matter)? No. She seems really full of herself.

    Narcissism?

    You are certainly taking quite a judgmental leap to assign her horrible personality deficiency, based solely on a single picture and a phrase that some (not saying "all", or even "many") may find inspirational.

    YOU are taking a leap by saying that I'm assigning her a personality deficiency. 'Narcissism' is a word that actually has meaning in the English language independent of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The word is based on the Greek myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with his own image. From Merriam-Webster:

    narcissism (n): love of or sexual desire for one's own body

    You may not think that this quality is depicted in the photo; I do. You may be inspired by this photo; I'm not.

    I would think it is safe to say she is happy with her body based on the self confidence she exudes. Does self confidence or happy = "love of or sexual desire for"?

    No. Even the women that I've met with bodies that seem perfect to me are not" in love with" their bodies. In fact... The trend seems to be the opposite... Often times the fitter a person gets, the more they find they want to fix.

    Does happiness and self confidence = narsicissm?
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    What I find most offensive about the photo is the woman's narcissism, along with her willingness to rub her fitness in the faces of others. Do I think this ought to be making people irate? No. I don't think it's worth the effort to get worked up about it, unless you are trying to burn a few extra calories. On the other hand, do I think it would be fun to sit down for coffee with this woman and talk about fitness (or anything else, for that matter)? No. She seems really full of herself.

    Narcissism?

    You are certainly taking quite a judgmental leap to assign her horrible personality deficiency, based solely on a single picture and a phrase that some (not saying "all", or even "many") may find inspirational.

    YOU are taking a leap by saying that I'm assigning her a personality deficiency. 'Narcissism' is a word that actually has meaning in the English language independent of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The word is based on the Greek myth of Narcissus, who fell in love with his own image. From Merriam-Webster:

    narcissism (n): love of or sexual desire for one's own body

    You may not think that this quality is depicted in the photo; I do. You may be inspired by this photo; I'm not.

    I would think it is safe to say she is happy with her body based on the self confidence she exudes. Does self confidence or happy = "love of or sexual desire for"?

    No. Even the women that I've met with bodies that seem perfect to me are not" in love with" their bodies. In fact... The trend seems to be the opposite... Often times the fitter a person gets, the more they find they want to fix.

    Does happiness and self confidence = narsicissm?

    If so, then everyone in the MFP Fitspiration thread should be ashamed of themselves! [/sarcasm]
  • jenbrown481
    jenbrown481 Posts: 3 Member
    I stand by my position that it's unseemly to flaunt what you've got to others who don't have it. You're free to disagree with me. Cheers!
  • LuLuChick78
    LuLuChick78 Posts: 439 Member
    I stand by my position that it's unseemly to flaunt what you've got to others who don't have it. You're free to disagree with me. Cheers!

    Sarcasm? Let's hope.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    However, through her choice of wording alone, SHE is bullying innocent people that don't live up to HER standards on her FB page (not to mention others now that it's gone viral).

    OPINION. Personal Perception. Flag on the play.

    himym-gif-youve-been-lawyered.gif

    You'll have to shut down the entire internet then if personal opinions are no longer allowed :noway: :laugh:

    I didnt say they werent allowed on the internet. :) They just cant be submitted as facts. :flowerforyou:
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I still can't understand how it's bullying. I can see that it can be smug, vain, even pushy, but not bullying.

    Is it bullying every time someone has something I want and don't have? If that's the case, then I'm being bullied on a constant basis. The woman jogging down the street with the long, shiny, swinging ponytail? Bully. My hair is dull and frizzy. The guy in the brand new convertible next to me at a red light? Bully. My car is old, and I miss having a convertible. Whoever owns that big Victorian house with the turrets and gingerbread? Total bully. Even my own husband is a bully, because he can pee standing up and I can't. And they're all doing these things just to spite me. :sad:
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    I think people need to learn to differentiate between actual bullying and them being crybabies.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,021 Member
    I stand by my position that it's unseemly to flaunt what you've got to others who don't have it. You're free to disagree with me. Cheers!
    So fixing up your hair doesn't count against bald people?:wink:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    *sigh*

    I have two kids... 6 and 8.

    I am pretty cut, and have been for a while now. Possibly more than her. I work 40 hours a week, and commute for about 10. I am separated from my husband and we share custody. I don't have time to work out a lot. I get in one solid workout a week, typically.

    I love my kids, and I actively play with them. I stay busy, and am aware of what I eat and typically how much I am able to manage.

    Thing is... something always suffers. In my case, my house is not immaculate, hell, often it is a complete disaster. If an immaculate house is important to you, or if having that down time to watch tv is important, then that is what you will focus on, and that is what you will make time for.

    I exist on less than 6 hours a night of sleep. I am constantly going, and I live on coffee. I do not make my own home cooked meals on a regular basis, but that's because my ex takes the kids after school and he eats dinner with them, I pick them up after work. I often do my workout at 11pm (after the kids are in bed, the lunches are made for the next day, and the laundry is started).

    You don't have to be a fitness model or a PT to look like her. You just need to fit it into your lifestyle IF you want a body like hers.

    But no two people have the exact same life, or the exact same priorities. If having a body like hers is a priority, then you find a way to get it. If having a super clean house is a priority, then you find a way to get that.

    I have learned that you simply just can't do it all.

    AND THAT IS OK

    Just my two cents....

    This. People have different priorities and needs at different times in their lives. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are making an excuse to stop doing something else. A human can only take on so many things at one time and excel at them. Some can take on more than others.

    I have a friend who doesn't work and her kids are in school. She can't figure out how we have time for family meals every day, a clean house and yard and laundry done. She has other things she does during the day than sit in an office. Right now, she has different things prioritized than me. Is she making excuses to have a house that isn't as clean? Well, the amount of time she spends volunteering at school and preparing for that, and helping out other families that don't have the option of spending as much time at home does take a lot of time and she prioritizes that over her house right now. I'm not going to bring her into my house and say 'what is your excuse?'.

    With that said, if you read the article accompanying this picture, and you look at her fitness page, and put the picture in context, you'll see that she isn't trying to shame any group of people, at least intentionally. It fits in with her overall message. I just wish people would stop getting so butt hurt over every single thing they see and hear. Isn't that an exhausting way to live your life? Questioning everyone's motives and reasons for everything they do and making it all about you?
  • VeganLexi
    VeganLexi Posts: 960 Member
    This is still rolling?? :noway:
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    However, through her choice of wording alone, SHE is bullying innocent people that don't live up to HER standards on her FB page (not to mention others now that it's gone viral).

    OPINION. Personal Perception. Flag on the play.

    himym-gif-youve-been-lawyered.gif

    You'll have to shut down the entire internet then if personal opinions are no longer allowed :noway: :laugh:

    I didnt say they werent allowed on the internet. :) They just cant be submitted as facts. :flowerforyou:

    How is a picture with three words on it bullying? When did bullying change from getting your *kitten* beat by the mean kids for your lunch money change to anyone who says or does something that you don't want them to do? How can someone who will never meet me, or talk to me, or even know of me be bullying me? If someone doesn't like her message on FB, they are able to un-like her page, move on and not be hunted down and threatened.
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    I still can't understand how it's bullying. I can see that it can be smug, vain, even pushy, but not bullying.

    Is it bullying every time someone has something I want and don't have? If that's the case, then I'm being bullied on a constant basis. The woman jogging down the street with the long, shiny, swinging ponytail? Bully. My hair is dull and frizzy. The guy in the brand new convertible next to me at a red light? Bully. My car is old, and I miss having a convertible. Whoever owns that big Victorian house with the turrets and gingerbread? Total bully. Even my own husband is a bully, because he can pee standing up and I can't. And they're all doing these things just to spite me. :sad:

    :flowerforyou: I loved this...Especially about our husbands. Big bullies. :laugh:
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    I still can't understand how it's bullying. I can see that it can be smug, vain, even pushy, but not bullying.

    Is it bullying every time someone has something I want and don't have? If that's the case, then I'm being bullied on a constant basis. The woman jogging down the street with the long, shiny, swinging ponytail? Bully. My hair is dull and frizzy. The guy in the brand new convertible next to me at a red light? Bully. My car is old, and I miss having a convertible. Whoever owns that big Victorian house with the turrets and gingerbread? Total bully. Even my own husband is a bully, because he can pee standing up and I can't. And they're all doing these things just to spite me. :sad:

    :flowerforyou: I loved this...Especially about our husbands. Big bullies. :laugh:

    Very nicely made point on the bullying.

    I think this pic is like a Rorschach/ink blot test. Those that responded negatively projected their own issues or upbringing onto the person in the picture. Some have invented/projected back stories that reflect a little part of themselves like a past bully or parenting struggles. Those that are inspired (a whopping majority on this site) are looking to be inspired. While those that made lewd comments are horn balls (no surprise). An image of someone else isn't going to bully you.

    Personally, I think she's amazing. Three kids is a handful and I know that I struggle with diet and exercise.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    http://articles.elitefts.com/training-articles/ten-more-things-that-piss-me-off-about-commercial-gyms-part-1/
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    The internet psychology is strong in this thread.

    I just can't believe this lady's 15 minutes of fame hasn't dried up as yet. I had a peek at her website and damn, it was boring.
  • ElizabethFuller
    ElizabethFuller Posts: 352 Member
    I think she looks fabulous, just how I would like to be, sadly I'd need surgery to look like that even at my target weight! However the strap line is true, so many women (and men) blame being busy for being overweight and unfit, it's one of the most common excuses that people make for poor diet choices and lack of exercise -I know I did. I'm also very impressed that she has all three of her kids in a photo, looking at the camera and she's not having to hang on to any of them. I only have two boys but I think every photo of us when they were little involved me grabbing one or other of them. :smile:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I think this pic is like a Rorschach/ink blot test.

    /thread (ideally)
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    I stand by my position that it's unseemly to flaunt what you've got to others who don't have it. You're free to disagree with me. Cheers!

    Sarcasm? Let's hope.

    Meh, I'm pretty sure it's jealousy.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I just can't believe this lady's 15 minutes of fame hasn't dried up as yet.

    Seriously...how did this one photo get so much attention. I think the so-called "controversy" was all manufactured on purpose.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I stand by my position that it's unseemly to flaunt what you've got to others who can't have it. You're free to disagree with me. Cheers!

    Sarcasm? Let's hope.

    fixed
  • LuLuChick78
    LuLuChick78 Posts: 439 Member
    I stand by my position that it's unseemly to flaunt what you've got to others who can't have it. You're free to disagree with me. Cheers!

    Sarcasm? Let's hope.

    fixed

    A bit better, thanks Yoovie :wink: :laugh:
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I don't have kids, don't want kids, but I find it really sad how many women blame things that they don't like about their lives on their children, whether it's the damage childbirth has done to their bodies, lack of time, lack of money, etc. If it had been my parents saying things like that, I'd have felt really unloved and unwanted. I felt guilty enough knowing I was a difficult pregnancy and my mom spent a good chunk of it in the hospital in traction, without feeling like I ruined her life on top of it. :ohwell:

    That said, both my parents are gone, and I really wish they'd made their health more of a priority. Maybe they'd still be here. If exercising regularly would have made them healthier and stronger, I would gladly trade a couple hours each week that they spent with me as a kid to have them with me now.
  • LuLuChick78
    LuLuChick78 Posts: 439 Member
    I don't have kids, don't want kids, but I find it really sad how many women blame things that they don't like about their lives on their children, whether it's the damage childbirth has done to their bodies, lack of time, lack of money, etc. If it had been my parents saying things like that, I'd have felt really unloved and unwanted. I felt guilty enough knowing I was a difficult pregnancy and my mom spent a good chunk of it in the hospital in traction, without feeling like I ruined her life on top of it. :ohwell:

    That said, both my parents are gone, and I really wish they'd made their health more of a priority. Maybe they'd still be here. If exercising regularly would have made them healthier and stronger, I would gladly trade a couple hours each week that they spent with me as a kid to have them with me now.

    Exactly :flowerforyou:
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    I don't have kids, don't want kids, but I find it really sad how many women blame things that they don't like about their lives on their children, whether it's the damage childbirth has done to their bodies, lack of time, lack of money, etc. If it had been my parents saying things like that, I'd have felt really unloved and unwanted. I felt guilty enough knowing I was a difficult pregnancy and my mom spent a good chunk of it in the hospital in traction, without feeling like I ruined her life on top of it. :ohwell:

    That said, both my parents are gone, and I really wish they'd made their health more of a priority. Maybe they'd still be here. If exercising regularly would have made them healthier and stronger, I would gladly trade a couple hours each week that they spent with me as a kid to have them with me now.

    I have two daughters, and while I could start the whole blame vs acknowledge debate (very similar to the excuse vs reason one held earlier), I will totally acknowledge that my body is different because of having kids.

    My boobs - I loved them before kids. After kids, NO. In fact, when I split from my ex, I didn't want to show anyone them ever again, thats how much I hated them. It was a direct result of pregnancy, and then nursing.

    Unless I surgically alter them, they will never be the same and I am working to love them as they are now.

    Similarly... my tummy. I have loose skin there, a direct result of two 9 pound basketballs . When I stand, it looks good. If my pants sit at a certain spot, the skin bulges over. If I twist a certain way, the skin puckers. It will never be the same, and I am working to love it as it is now.


    THAT SAID...

    IN NO WAY do I "blame" my kids, or harbor any ill will toward them. They are my EVERYTHING, my ALL, and I would do it all again, and more, to have them in my life.

    Kids are also huge time suckers. But they are worth every minute sucked.


    SO... while I ACKNOWLEDGE that having kids makes life challenging physically and strategically as it relates to my fitness and body.... I do not BLAME them whatsoever, because I adore them with every last ounce of my being.
  • CollieFit
    CollieFit Posts: 1,683 Member
    This has gone seriously viral now.

    I find it really amusing.

    I bet places like "MumsNet" must have gone absolutely mental about it. :laugh:

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