Why is this even remotely controversial?

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Replies

  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    trying to imagine one of my girlfriends in fetal position in her kitchen, crying because her boyfriend dumped her cause she quit cleaning for 4 days while she had a bad case of cramps.

    lol

    they would laugh in his face.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    Stop whining and make me a sammich.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    Housework still burns more cals than sitting on the couch :drinker:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Housework still burns more cals than sitting on the couch :drinker:
    Another good point.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Well, at least one study suggests that the reason women aren't saying "help me" is because they intuit the marriage will break down if they don't keep dusting..

    who on earth are these people? this is surely not my generation.
    There are other studies showing that marriage generally benefits male health indicators (because they get emotional support, don't have to do all this work -- counted in HOURS, not individual things -- women just do *more*) while women tend to be more stressed by marriage because they're doing all this stuff. I can dig those up sometime but have to be off.

    who on earth are these people? I dont know anyone in my age group who is married or in a live-in relationship who is more stressed because she has to do more. Perhaps this is because I live somewhere non-traditional, but i have lots of traditional friends and they all seem to split everything up just fine. from bills to housework.
    Mind you, it's true that men actually die earlier, because of the nature of the stress they deal with. But, women live those extra years with poor health. all this is "tend to", ok, generalizations..

    I dont think its fair to talk about how long men and women in our generation live and what our quality of life is like in our golden years - as this is also the first generation where more women are choosing not to get married and have kids than any other generation previously. We dont start having kids at 12 anymore. We dont have twisted up Silent Hill type medical care, we dont spend our days socially isolated, we dont give up all our dreams and goals once we get married...

    There is no way to predict how people born in the 70s-90s are going to be different from previous generations when they hit retirement.

    This is heading off topic. House cleaning is not a legitimate reason for not being able to work toward being in the best physical health you can be in.

    you raise good points -- there are changes, for sure.

    (i bet though that if you asked your friends to *count the time* they spend doing these things, it'd still fall close to traditional norms.)

    housework is imo totally not off-topic, it gets to the heart of why people are pissed off about it.
  • CassandraBurgos83
    CassandraBurgos83 Posts: 544 Member
    This is heading off topic. House cleaning is not a legitimate reason for not being able to work toward being in the best physical health you can be in.


    I am a 30 yr old wife and mother of 2 (10 and 2). I work full time and take classes,I cook, grocery shop, I clean, I do laundry, I help with homework, I watch movies with my kiddos, go to the park, all of their events and my husbands, I travel, watch a little tv etc etc and the list goes on.... (I'm even a neat freak)

    BUT,
    I make time for my health and bust my *kitten* in the gym-I also eat healthier and make sure my family does as well. I also Wake up and hr earlier and go to bed an hour later and still have energy to burn.

    As I said before, we are our own excuses!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    whether or not you grew up in a society that does this to women (re: cleanliness obligations) depends on how old you are, what country you were raised in, what generation your mother was part of, if you had both parents or just one and whether you had a stay at home mom or dad or if they both worked.

    your sociology stuff is backdated and cant be handed out like that anymore.

    We have unlimited options now and nothing is traditional or standard anymore. You cant make sweeping generalizations across the female half of the species.

    You can tell us all about you and your situation and no one can say boo in disagreement. but what things were like for you were probably not the same way for women across the board anymore :flowerforyou:

    it's not backdated actually, some of these studies are from the past five years, in north america, with women who were reproductive aged in that time frame. i know everyone would like for this crap to be over but it's not

    -snip-

    its also not the same. It may not be over - but we arent where we were in the beginning. we have made progress. i cant believe im still having to explain to women that not only have we indeed made progress, but that its okay to celebrate that. we dont have to end every freaking fudging sentence with a ....BUT WE'RE STILL ON THE SHT END OF THE STICK.

    As individuals, we are not. As individuals, we are now free.

    Free to exercise our butts off in tiny workout clothes in front of our kids and stand up to the naysayers and say oh yeah? what's your excuse for not being awesome, when we finally have the right to be.

    I'm definitely glad I'm living today and not in my grandmother's time, that's for sure!

    Things are improving, but........... I don't feel like it's a good idea to just chill out about it (backlash, anyone? how cool is it to say you're a feminist these days?)

    there it is again.

    that BUT at the end of every positive sentence, making sure we dont forget that we are still on the bottom.

    we arent.

    the only women who are domestically oppressed and lagging behind the curve are the ones who are choosing to stay in that era and be martyrs - or those who are working on a plan to get out.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member

    Wait.....so I can stop helping around the house and she won't do anything about it?

    I've been doing this all wrong.

    dude... you help?
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    whether or not you grew up in a society that does this to women (re: cleanliness obligations) depends on how old you are, what country you were raised in, what generation your mother was part of, if you had both parents or just one and whether you had a stay at home mom or dad or if they both worked.

    your sociology stuff is backdated and cant be handed out like that anymore.

    We have unlimited options now and nothing is traditional or standard anymore. You cant make sweeping generalizations across the female half of the species.

    You can tell us all about you and your situation and no one can say boo in disagreement. but what things were like for you were probably not the same way for women across the board anymore :flowerforyou:

    it's not backdated actually, some of these studies are from the past five years, in north america, with women who were reproductive aged in that time frame. i know everyone would like for this crap to be over but it's not

    -snip-

    its also not the same. It may not be over - but we arent where we were in the beginning. we have made progress. i cant believe im still having to explain to women that not only have we indeed made progress, but that its okay to celebrate that. we dont have to end every freaking fudging sentence with a ....BUT WE'RE STILL ON THE SHT END OF THE STICK.

    As individuals, we are not. As individuals, we are now free.

    Free to exercise our butts off in tiny workout clothes in front of our kids and stand up to the naysayers and say oh yeah? what's your excuse for not being awesome, when we finally have the right to be.

    I'm definitely glad I'm living today and not in my grandmother's time, that's for sure!

    Things are improving, but........... I don't feel like it's a good idea to just chill out about it (backlash, anyone? how cool is it to say you're a feminist these days?)

    there it is again.

    that BUT at the end of every positive sentence, making sure we dont forget that we are still on the bottom.

    we arent.

    the only women who are domestically oppressed and lagging behind the curve are the ones who are choosing to stay in that era and be martyrs - or those who are working on a plan to get out.

    i invite you to look at the cross national data again...
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I do not see why anyone wouldnt want to look like her.

    Because many of us like looking like ourselves.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Stop whining and make me a sammich.

    1245376380_top10-best-sandwiches_flash.jpg
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I do not see why anyone wouldnt want to look like her.

    Because many of us like looking like ourselves.
    :-)

    She is beautiful but even if I WANTED to look like her, I couldn't. I have moe natural curves and I like them. I want to be as thin as she is, but I want my hips and waist.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    This is heading off topic. House cleaning is not a legitimate reason for not being able to work toward being in the best physical health you can be in.


    I am a 30 yr old wife and mother of 2 (10 and 2). I work full time and take classes,I cook, grocery shop, I clean, I do laundry, I help with homework, I watch movies with my kiddos, go to the park, all of their events and my husbands, I travel, watch a little tv etc etc and the list goes on.... (I'm even a neat freak)

    BUT,
    I make time for my health and bust my *kitten* in the gym-I also eat healthier and make sure my family does as well. I also Wake up and hr earlier and go to bed an hour later and still have energy to burn.

    As I said before, we are our own excuses!

    jealous of your butt and hammies.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    whether or not you grew up in a society that does this to women (re: cleanliness obligations) depends on how old you are, what country you were raised in, what generation your mother was part of, if you had both parents or just one and whether you had a stay at home mom or dad or if they both worked.

    your sociology stuff is backdated and cant be handed out like that anymore.

    We have unlimited options now and nothing is traditional or standard anymore. You cant make sweeping generalizations across the female half of the species.

    You can tell us all about you and your situation and no one can say boo in disagreement. but what things were like for you were probably not the same way for women across the board anymore :flowerforyou:

    it's not backdated actually, some of these studies are from the past five years, in north america, with women who were reproductive aged in that time frame. i know everyone would like for this crap to be over but it's not

    -snip-

    its also not the same. It may not be over - but we arent where we were in the beginning. we have made progress. i cant believe im still having to explain to women that not only have we indeed made progress, but that its okay to celebrate that. we dont have to end every freaking fudging sentence with a ....BUT WE'RE STILL ON THE SHT END OF THE STICK.

    As individuals, we are not. As individuals, we are now free.

    Free to exercise our butts off in tiny workout clothes in front of our kids and stand up to the naysayers and say oh yeah? what's your excuse for not being awesome, when we finally have the right to be.

    I'm definitely glad I'm living today and not in my grandmother's time, that's for sure!

    Things are improving, but........... I don't feel like it's a good idea to just chill out about it (backlash, anyone? how cool is it to say you're a feminist these days?)

    there it is again.

    that BUT at the end of every positive sentence, making sure we dont forget that we are still on the bottom.

    we arent.

    the only women who are domestically oppressed and lagging behind the curve are the ones who are choosing to stay in that era and be martyrs - or those who are working on a plan to get out.

    i invite you to look at the cross national data again...

    I dont want to because you cant seem to admit any kind of female progress without adding a BUT.
    I also dont want to because I believe in individuals, not the most common denominators put in place to genericize us.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    So this thread went from, waaaa, fattie shaming, to... you can't admit female progress!

    Love MFP.

    LULZ Interwebz, u funny.
  • Stop whining and make me a sammich.

    1245376380_top10-best-sandwiches_flash.jpg

    I Love this ^^^^

    Sense of humor shows from a Lady - makes me want to get to know her better.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I do not see why anyone wouldnt want to look like her.

    Because many of us like looking like ourselves.
    :-)

    She is beautiful but even if I WANTED to look like her, I couldn't. I have moe natural curves and I like them. I want to be as thin as she is, but I want my hips and waist.

    I meant a similar level of fitness, or bodyfat percentage rather.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I do not see why anyone wouldnt want to look like her.

    Because many of us like looking like ourselves.
    :-)

    She is beautiful but even if I WANTED to look like her, I couldn't. I have moe natural curves and I like them. I want to be as thin as she is, but I want my hips and waist.

    I meant a similar level of fitness, or bodyfat percentage rather.
    Gotcha.

    But even that is individual. Some women DON'T want to be at that fitness level/BFP.
  • EddieHaskell97
    EddieHaskell97 Posts: 2,227 Member
    It shouldn't be controversial at all. She should be proud of her accomplishment, and if she wants to flaunt it why should it matter? She made the post for her social media followers.


    Fair? Absolutely it's fair! She made the time to bust (fine) *kitten* and look great! Her detractors (specifically, the ones making "fat shaming" claims) used that same time to scarf deep dish on the couch while watching "The Biggest Loser". Instead of even doing a nice after dinner walk, much less some weights they want to now complain that their feelings are hurt?

    As for shame? Shame isn't always bad. Feeling shame was a primary motivator for me to get back into shape. I'm GLAD that I felt mortified when I looked in the mirror. It was a major factor in getting me off my rear and ultimately made for a great summer of working out, and feeling better about myself.

    Obesity is an epidemic in America, and if "shame" helps lower weight related disease, then I'm all for it.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Also, I am a single guy that even in a relationship will do most of the cooking and cleaning. Because I enjoy and am great at cooking and I like my house to be a certain way. The only thing I would willingly give up is laundry.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I do not see why anyone wouldnt want to look like her.

    Because many of us like looking like ourselves.
    :-)

    She is beautiful but even if I WANTED to look like her, I couldn't. I have moe natural curves and I like them. I want to be as thin as she is, but I want my hips and waist.

    I meant a similar level of fitness, or bodyfat percentage rather.
    Gotcha.

    But even that is individual. Some women DON'T want to be at that fitness level/BFP.

    well, then it doesnt apply to them and they wont notice the advertising that isnt aimed at them, right? I never notice diaper commercials and I dont know jack about cars - cause neither of these are on my radar. shrug.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I do not see why anyone wouldnt want to look like her.

    Because many of us like looking like ourselves.
    :-)

    She is beautiful but even if I WANTED to look like her, I couldn't. I have moe natural curves and I like them. I want to be as thin as she is, but I want my hips and waist.

    I meant a similar level of fitness, or bodyfat percentage rather.
    Gotcha.

    But even that is individual. Some women DON'T want to be at that fitness level/BFP.

    Which I accept. We all have different views of beauty.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I do not see why anyone wouldnt want to look like her.

    Because many of us like looking like ourselves.
    :-)

    She is beautiful but even if I WANTED to look like her, I couldn't. I have moe natural curves and I like them. I want to be as thin as she is, but I want my hips and waist.

    I meant a similar level of fitness, or bodyfat percentage rather.
    Gotcha.

    But even that is individual. Some women DON'T want to be at that fitness level/BFP.

    well, then it doesnt apply to them and they wont notice the advertising that isnt aimed at them, right? I never notice diaper commercials and I dont know jack about cars - cause neither of these are on my radar. shrug.
    The replies were to Whierd's comment about not knowing why any woman wouldn't want to look like her.

    Some women wouldn't want to look like her.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    When my husband cleans the bathroom he doesn't sweep the floor. We have dogs, plus my hair, and my daughters hair. NASTY. When I was complaining to a girl friend about this apparently I should just be grateful that he cleans at all. **** that.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    When my husband cleans the bathroom he doesn't sweep the floor. We have dogs, plus my hair, and my daughters hair. NASTY. When I was complaining to a girl friend about this apparently I should just be grateful that he cleans at all. **** that.

    Gross.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I do not see why anyone wouldnt want to look like her.

    Because many of us like looking like ourselves.
    :-)

    She is beautiful but even if I WANTED to look like her, I couldn't. I have moe natural curves and I like them. I want to be as thin as she is, but I want my hips and waist.

    I meant a similar level of fitness, or bodyfat percentage rather.

    Personal preference, plain and simple. Being a fitness model, or looking like one, is certainly not the goal of every women. Many women (and men) like a softer more voluptuous look. A little more fat over the muscle doesn't necessarily make them less fit. And many don't care about fitness beyond what's needed to be healthy. Some prefer the skinny look of runway models. There are a lot of women in the world. It should be expected that they don't all want to look the same.
  • ILoveTheBrowns
    ILoveTheBrowns Posts: 661 Member
    god i hope my wife looks like her after she pops out little minions
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    well, then it doesnt apply to them and they wont notice the advertising that isnt aimed at them, right? I never notice diaper commercials and I dont know jack about cars - cause neither of these are on my radar. shrug.

    This. Being offended because it's not your goal would be like me being offended by John Frieda Sheer Blonde hair color commercials. Maybe I should pitch a fit because I don't want to be blonde (aside from wearing a wig for Halloween).

    My personal preference is a slightly higher BF%, both because I start to look Crypt Keeperish when I get too lean, and it's easier for me to maintain a little higher. I'm not bothered by her looking the way she looks or being proud of the way she looks. I'm proud of the way I look, too, and I'm happy with my level of fitness.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    well, then it doesnt apply to them and they wont notice the advertising that isnt aimed at them, right? I never notice diaper commercials and I dont know jack about cars - cause neither of these are on my radar. shrug.

    This. Being offended because it's not your goal would be like me being offended by John Frieda Sheer Blonde hair color commercials. Maybe I should pitch a fit because I don't want to be blonde (aside from wearing a wig for Halloween).
    Nobody is offended by what she looks like. The "offense" (and I'm not really offended at all) is the idea that ALL women have the same goal.
  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
    I haven't read all the replies, but the thing I find most wrong with the pic is the suggestion that every woman could look like that if they just stopped making excuses. That woman is gorgeous. If all she is flaunting is her fitness, then what is with the glamour makeup and hair?

    And the caption is more than a little narcissistic. "What is your excuse?" It implies that she imagines every woman wants to look like her.

    The caption was "What's your excuse" Not - "Everybody should look like me and if you don't you are bad and make excuses" Why put your own thoughts into her words? I would never look like that (not the age or the DNA), but so what?? Why see it as a personal injury? .I don't get people.