alskarani

Yes, mp, how did it go? How courageous of you to pursue your dream! I have moved recently, and am w/o wifi...and for some reason, the forums don't like to load on my phone's data...sorry I've been MIA. My goal for this week (yay for Mondays!) is to be aware of what I'm feeling when I really want to give into behaviors. I…

I can't eat wheat products, I have an adverse reaction to them...(except spelt flour). Maybe I'll do rice, but only a really small portion, like a couple spoons, and see how that feels.

I finally cooked! Over the next week, or so, I'll try to eat it all. It's just veggies, so I should make rice to go with it or find some other food groups to include (I'm supposed to shoot for 4 each meal). I'm not sure if I'm ready for rice or other grains! But I'll try. I don't know what new goal to make for…

One of the big reasons I want to recover is that "creative play" for me happens in the kitchen. I love throwing things together, playing with flavors, improvising, etc. I want to have my life revolve around this; I want to be a food writer, whether that's for a magazine or a blog. Recently, I've come up with a plan and…

Cheeeeese!!! I used to be a cheesemonger. :) I can get really excited about cheese. Minipony, it's mostly physically...achey, weak, cough, sore throat. I worked this morning, and that made me feel horrible. I ran into a little emotional rut this afternoon...frustrated with myself for being stuck with this ed, and not being…

Nony, I hope you have such a good time with your dad! My dad is 80, so in my head I'm picturing someone like him visiting you. :) I hope you can enjoy all parts of the visit. I'm feeling sick...my goals maybe just went out the window....I don't feel like doing anything but sleeping. I am trying to make myself eat, though…

I tried to be a little more free today with what I ate. (I got on the scale this morning, and I was almost 3 lbs down from a couple days ago, which makes about 4lbs in the past week. This scared me a little.) BUT, I'm feeling anxious now that maybe I ate too much. I hate feeling trapped like this. Grocery shopping is a…

Too....hard.... :) Thanks for the challenge. I don't have any words about my body, but my friends do say this about me: I'm really curious and adventurous. I love to travel, understand people and cultures, and can be interested in almost anything. My friends say I can have enthusiasm about things that is contagious and fun…

So, I went to all of my appointments this week! Even scheduled an extra one, haha. Goal accomplished. Next appointments are on Monday. My new goal, until then, is to cook food and eat it. I get stuck on only eating raw or cold things, hot food can make me feel worried. (Why? I don't know!) I have some aubergine and some…

Could you call your nutritionist and tell her everything, and then see what she recommends? She'd surely have an opinion, and would probably have better perspective than you do with the fear you feel about it (which I totally understand!) If she tells you to cut back for a day or something, she's probably tell you how to…

Ok, omg, the scariest part of your whole post to me was the possibility of being shut down and losing support through this site! Haha, maybe kind of twisted. No, I don't think I could handle the "tough love" honesty about what might be happening to my body...that just makes me panic with anxiety, which in turn leads…

Ok, I'm going to risk being redundant here. Are you SURE I should eat more? I'm trying to measure everything accurately, and yesterday I ate, let's estimate a little high, 700 calories, and walked for about 40 minutes, and was running around at work, and this morning i was 0.8 lbs (0.36kg) heavier than I was yesterday. I…

I find myself thinking this: I'm really different than most people, and for MY body, 1000 calories is too much. Is that possible? That my body is just really weird and can't handle a lot of calories?

Yeah, thanks nony! I think I'd like her to take the lead. :blush: I'm not good at helping myself at the moment. I'll let you know what she says or has me do. Well, it IS specific foods and food groups, too, but it's also calories. And it's weird things...I can eat full fat yogurt and peanut butter, but chicken terrifies…

I could try that. It's all calories in my head, though. I mean, the way I'm thinking about it...so even an apple at 100 calories feels really scary! But maybe at the end of the week, on Sunday night, I could eat something extra above the 800. I'll try! :smile: I did see the dietician for an intake. She didn't set any goals…

Nony, thanks for your reply. The thing is...I'm not losing all that fast. I've only lost .6 pounds the last 5 days, and something like 13 since the middle or end of January. So, I must be eating more than I think? I'm afraid to up my calories, because what if I'm already eating way too much? I weigh and measure what I can,…

Have you considered a cauliflower crust? :)

I love good cheeses! Like, a geotrichum rinded goat or sheep's milk cheese surrounded by fruit and nuts on a plate. I don't know if I'm brave enough to do it, but I can go to the store and take a look and see if it seems manageable.

I'm eating around 800. I'm losing and would like to lose (and I'm not anywhere near underweight, ha), and I do know deep down that 800 is not enough, but I gain when I go up to 1000. It scares me. I CAN'T gain. I am going to an IOP for treatment. It's just starting.

Thanks. :) It's intimating to be in a group setting and have to talk about such deeply personal things. I have a lot of trouble trusting others, have had a lot of relational trauma in the past few years, and it hard enough to open up to one other person, let along be vulnerable in front of 10! But that's what the majority…

I went to my appointments today...but it was so rough, I have a pretty strong instinct to flee! :(

Yeah, this is such a foreign concept to me! I have to work on believing that!

Ah, so body fat percentage where it intersects with strength to do what you want to do in life...

This is a great idea, thanks for starting this! My goal for the week is to go to all my appointments at the IOP and make baby steps to develop trust! (Have a really hard time trusting people, and not panicking that I'm going to be rejected or that they're going to get frustrated with me!) It's not exactly food related, but…

Good job!! That's a HUGE deal. Be really proud of yourself! :) Way to go, with trusting something outside of your own head. That takes a lot of courage, I know.

Thanks, minipony! Can I send a friend request?

Haha. Neither, really, but interest in both. :)

Whoops, I posted early... above quite was meant to be attached here... Ok, epistemologically, there's no way you could read OP's post "objectively." You (none of us) have that kind of power. We're all biased. Just saying. Kind of bothered me.

I guess i still don't quite understand...may I explain myself once more? I'm not eating as many calories as I'm supposed to. I'm trying to change that and eat more. Meanwhile, fats are making up a higher percentage of my diet. I'm not getting all the protein I should. Is it therefore a problem that fats are so high, or…