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What has a whole bunch of little balls...
... and screws old ladies? A bingo machine.:wink: :laugh: :bigsmile: :drinker:
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Two Garbage Bags
A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag.' 'Oh, really? Darn!' says the little…
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Sweeping Around...
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while > they got to know each other so well, they decided > to get married. > > One broom was, of course, the bride broom, > the other the groom broom. > > The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. > The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. >…
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A Joke For Shannon ;p
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay." :drinker: :laugh: :wink: :heart: :bigsmile:
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Nuther New Game: I'm So Blonde That________________
:wink: You know how it works, fill in the blank at the end of the phrase I'm So Blonde That: Today when I got to the club, and was changing into my workout clothes, I realized that I forgot to pack my gym shorts! :blushing: It was either go commando, or go home... :wink: :huh:
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WOOSH!!
Ho wowza! Sandy Claus dome come early to our house! I just unpacked, set up, and am running my new 'puter! It's a Dell XPS 420, with a 22" flat screen monitor, and a whole load of bells, whistles, and anti gravity drive! :drinker: :bigsmile: :tongue: I got a rally good deal, and saved $700.00 off, and they shipped it way…
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Guys In Kilts!
OK, here's for all you ladies that have requested it, a thread for all of guys to post our pics of us in kilts! I just wish we could embed the image, instead of having to post the pix on a different site, then link to that URL...
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Hooked On Phonics
Five-year old students are learning to read. Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said, 'Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!' The teacher then took a deep breath, and asked...'What did you call it?' 'It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!' And so it does... ' A f r i c a n Elephant…
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College Football Thread :)
Don't think that this thread made over from the othe section, so thought I'd start it here! So cheer on your fave teams, show your spirit, and show us what ya got bay bee!! So, to start, Michigan State rocked the house this afternoon! GO GREEN! GO WHITE! This is the bestest season Sparty has had in a while, so I'm tee…
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It's a beautiful day...
...in the neighborhood! Would you be, could you be my neighbor?
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Tam and Max
The love story of Tam and Max Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Tam and Max were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool and Max suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the…
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School Gurl
A little blonde girl comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?" "Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom. "Is that because I'm blonde?" she asks.…
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OT really Bad Joke Thread ;p
A middle-aged woman Seemed sheepish as she Visited her gynaecologist. 'Come now,' coaxed the doctor, 'you've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me.' 'This one's kind of strange...' 'Let me be the judge of that,' The doctor replied. 'Well,' she said, 'yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and…
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OMG Bacon Mayonnaise!
It;s TRUE! Baconnaise is for real! I might hafta clog some arteries... http://www.baconnaise.com/
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Coffee Shop
A blonde grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop. She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order. "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" the blonde asked. The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah.…
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No Wonder I Couldn't...
find all the threads :noway:
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Hi boyz n gurlz
Surprise... I'm alive *giggle* For those of you that have asked, Ezzie and I are doing fine, thanx. She keeps working out with Wii Fit, and Wii Coach, and looks terrific! I'm still going to the club and burning cals that way. We both still MFP to log calories and such, just haven't nosed around the forums much. I've been…
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Hi boyz n gurlz
Just dropping in to share some Jamerz luvs n hugz to evryone! :drinker: :laugh: Been mucho busy but still logging my cals n exercise... Ezzie sens her bestest too... :happy: :tongue: :bigsmile: oh, and hot, wet sloppy kisses for Shannon, Tam and Kellch *giggle* (sorry B4, your just not my type) :laugh: :bigsmile:
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Going on a Vay Cay to FL
:glasses: OK kidz, we is gonna drive for 5 cold, frozen hrs south today, down to DEtroit. We get to see CAthyMom tonight, and play with her, then tomorrow, we flap our wings as hard as possible, and fly down to sunny and warm(er than us) FL! We'll cya in acouple o weeks, hugz n luvyas! :flowerforyou: :drinker: :bigsmile:…
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New Workout for People Over 50
EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50 Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold…
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My Next Cellphone...
http://www.flixxy.com/sumsing-turbo-3000-cellphone.htm You'll hafta copy and paste into your web browser. Enjoy responsibly. Objects in mirror closer than they appear. :wink: :drinker: :bigsmile:
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A Cow's Tale... (WARNING SICK!)
Please enjoy responsibly.... A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, 'What happened to YOU?' 'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our…
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Happy Boxing Day!
Boxing Day is a public holiday in the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, New Zealand, Hong Kong and countries in the Commonwealth of Nations with a mainly Christian population. In South Africa, this public holiday is now known as the Day of Goodwill. It is based on the tradition of giving gifts to the less fortunate…
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B and J's Burmese Chicken
OMG< easy to make, easy to take, and awesome! Serve over rice or pasta, it's nom, nom, nom either way! Tried to get the recipie to link from MFP, but couldn't? So here's the url from Spark People http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=453864
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Sexaay Santa!
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I wuz Santa claus!!
Really! Our local village asked me to be Santa Claus (for the 2nd time) and so Ezzie was Mrs. Claus too. We got to ride the big, red, firetruck thru town, then we sat in the Town Hall for a couple of hours so the kids could tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas, and get their pictures taken. It was hosted by the Junior…
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Coffee Shop
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. 'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.' 'Then, I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her. 'You mean I'd have…
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The Kings Deer Are Still Safe ;p
Aye yup, the oldest son, and his buddies returned for the annual Man Of the Year Weekend. Much beer, booze and food was consumed. Many stories were told, and a great deal of the problems of the world were solved, usually after much food and alcohol, and in the wee hours. As for actually hunting, well... a few of us saw…
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new pants :)
:tongue: Went shopping with Ezzie this weekend, and OMG, I'm down a couple of pants sizes!! :drinker: :happy: It looks like I finally broke my plateau and got to move my ticker yea! The ticker was stuck for about 8 weeks or so, so it's wonderful to see it move (even if it's ever so slowly) in the right direction again!…
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Researchers on Brink of Creating Beer that Fights Cancer & H
From today's issue of Galaxy Today: Life could soon be as good as it gets! A team of researchers at Rice University in Houston is working to create a beer that could fight cancer and heart disease. Taylor Stevenson, a member of the six-student research team and a junior at Rice, said the team is using genetic engineering…
