Fears and Struggles with Gaining Weight/Upping Intake

gothicbees

I am currently underweight (102lbs/5ft6in/18/F) and struggling to gain muscle mass and get back to a healthy weight after overexercising while in a major caloric deficit (exercise 5-6x a week/1200-1600cals a day). Trying to eat more calories is so much harder than I thought it'd be because 1) I'm finding my stomach can't handle large portions all at once and 2) I have a restrictive background so I'm having difficulty moving past fears of gaining weight or eating a lot. Do you have any tips on how to ease into a caloric surplus or build more muscle mass? Thank you!

allyphoe

Counseling / therapy.

Rusty740

I hear you. Having just come out of losing a bunch of weight and trying to gain muscle while lifting weights for the first time, I have trouble believing the extra calories are turning into (at least partly) muscle.

I guess what I'd suggest is to start lifting weights (try StrongLifts) instead of cardio (you can pick up cardio later) and to increase your calories very slowly, maybe at 5% extra of your TDEE each week for several (4?) weeks.

mrgreendots

I agree, for sure only do as much cardio as you need for mental health and work on gaining muscle instead. Your stomach is probably shrunken so eat six smaller meals a day (every 3 hours) instead of 3 large ones. Keep them fairly equal in calories. Also look into nutritional replacement drinks/bars/puddings to make sure you're getting all the nutrients you need.
I feel for you, gaining weight doesn't feel good even if you know you're unhealthy.

ndj1979

Have you seen a professional op??? Sounds like you may need to address how you view eating, first....

gothicbees

I am going to see a counselor soon to address my relationship with food and exercise. Who knows- they might refer me to a medical doctor. Until then, I'm just trying to fix this on my own as best I can!