Feeling like you're ready to give up?
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SueSueDio
Posts: 4,796 Member
Are you tired of "being on a diet"?
Are you waiting anxiously for the day when you can "go back to eating normally"?
Are you feeling like you're never going to reach your goal of, say, losing 10lbs by Christmas, 40lbs by next summer, or 100lbs "someday"?
Don't give up. If you give up now then you're 100% certain to fail to reach any goals you had.
I know it can be hard, but if any of the above is similar to the way you're thinking right now then you really need to try and turn that thinking around. If you always think of this as "a diet" then you WILL get tired of it pretty quick, and you'll always be thinking about when you can get back to "eating normally".
I have bad news for you. You can't.
If the way you used to eat has made you overweight, you can't go back to that way of eating or this whole thing will be a pointless exercise and a waste of your time.
But I'm not telling you to give up! I'm telling you to find a way to think differently about getting to a healthy weight and staying there, because you CAN do it. You can still have the foods you like, too... you just can't have them all the time, or as much as you might want of them, but you don't have to give them up completely unless you really can't control yourself. (I'm in the "all things in moderation" camp myself, but I know some people find it much easier to remove certain foods from their life completely. Can you have just one scoop of ice cream, or will you want the whole pint? Can you be happy with one cookie, or will it set you off on a wild cookie-eating frenzy that ends in a pile of crumbs and a lot of guilt and sobbing on the kitchen floor?
We each need to find what works best for us as an individual.)
Weight loss shouldn't be about misery, hunger and deprivation. That's the kind of thinking that kept me fat, and MFP has shown me that it's false. It took me a little while to wrap my mind around the new way of thinking, but once I realised that I don't need to deny myself anything it freed me from the "dieting" mindset. I've learned to enjoy the food I like in appropriate portions, and to get used to eating less. The results are worth it!
People come here to this part of the forums looking for motivation to keep going - and I get it; it's hard some days. You're tired of weighing and counting and resisting, and some days you just want to eat all the things. It's okay. You're human. One day, one weekend, even one fortnight of eating too much isn't necessarily going to ruin all your work to this point, as long as you get back on that horse again. (I highly recommend taking regular breaks from restricting your calories, and just eating at maintenance levels for a couple of weeks or so, if you find yourself getting tired of the process... a deliberate and planned break is much different mentally and emotionally than an unplanned binge week!)
But it's down to you, at the end of the day... none of us here can make you do this. How much do YOU really want to lose your extra weight? Find all the reasons YOU want to do it, for yourself and no one else, and write them down. Pin them somewhere you can see them, and read them every time you feel like giving up. Motivation comes and goes, and it only lasts for so long; you need to find your determination to do this for yourself.
Or not. It's up to you.
But every pound you drop from now on is a pound closer to your goal - even if you don't actually reach it - that you won't be if you give up now.
As I've heard other people say, the time will pass whether you do this or not. You can be a few (or a lot of!) pounds down this time next year, even if you're not at the weight you hoped to reach, or you can be the same or heavier than you currently are and wishing you'd stuck with it just a bit longer.
Stick with it. Don't give up. Even if you can only crawl, you're still moving forward.
You can do this. I believe in you.
(Make sure to check out the Success Stories forum for inspiration! Yes, many people have lost a ton of weight and you might feel you could never do that, but don't feel inadequate! There are also people who took years to lose a relatively small amount of weight; who only lost a few pounds but look and feel much better; who have loose skin but don't let it get them down or dissuade them from losing more... you'll find someone like you in there somewhere. This thread is very helpful for tracking down those who had similar goals. )
Are you waiting anxiously for the day when you can "go back to eating normally"?
Are you feeling like you're never going to reach your goal of, say, losing 10lbs by Christmas, 40lbs by next summer, or 100lbs "someday"?
Don't give up. If you give up now then you're 100% certain to fail to reach any goals you had.
I know it can be hard, but if any of the above is similar to the way you're thinking right now then you really need to try and turn that thinking around. If you always think of this as "a diet" then you WILL get tired of it pretty quick, and you'll always be thinking about when you can get back to "eating normally".
I have bad news for you. You can't.
If the way you used to eat has made you overweight, you can't go back to that way of eating or this whole thing will be a pointless exercise and a waste of your time.
But I'm not telling you to give up! I'm telling you to find a way to think differently about getting to a healthy weight and staying there, because you CAN do it. You can still have the foods you like, too... you just can't have them all the time, or as much as you might want of them, but you don't have to give them up completely unless you really can't control yourself. (I'm in the "all things in moderation" camp myself, but I know some people find it much easier to remove certain foods from their life completely. Can you have just one scoop of ice cream, or will you want the whole pint? Can you be happy with one cookie, or will it set you off on a wild cookie-eating frenzy that ends in a pile of crumbs and a lot of guilt and sobbing on the kitchen floor?
We each need to find what works best for us as an individual.)Weight loss shouldn't be about misery, hunger and deprivation. That's the kind of thinking that kept me fat, and MFP has shown me that it's false. It took me a little while to wrap my mind around the new way of thinking, but once I realised that I don't need to deny myself anything it freed me from the "dieting" mindset. I've learned to enjoy the food I like in appropriate portions, and to get used to eating less. The results are worth it!
People come here to this part of the forums looking for motivation to keep going - and I get it; it's hard some days. You're tired of weighing and counting and resisting, and some days you just want to eat all the things. It's okay. You're human. One day, one weekend, even one fortnight of eating too much isn't necessarily going to ruin all your work to this point, as long as you get back on that horse again. (I highly recommend taking regular breaks from restricting your calories, and just eating at maintenance levels for a couple of weeks or so, if you find yourself getting tired of the process... a deliberate and planned break is much different mentally and emotionally than an unplanned binge week!)
But it's down to you, at the end of the day... none of us here can make you do this. How much do YOU really want to lose your extra weight? Find all the reasons YOU want to do it, for yourself and no one else, and write them down. Pin them somewhere you can see them, and read them every time you feel like giving up. Motivation comes and goes, and it only lasts for so long; you need to find your determination to do this for yourself.
Or not. It's up to you.
But every pound you drop from now on is a pound closer to your goal - even if you don't actually reach it - that you won't be if you give up now.As I've heard other people say, the time will pass whether you do this or not. You can be a few (or a lot of!) pounds down this time next year, even if you're not at the weight you hoped to reach, or you can be the same or heavier than you currently are and wishing you'd stuck with it just a bit longer.
Stick with it. Don't give up. Even if you can only crawl, you're still moving forward.
You can do this. I believe in you.
(Make sure to check out the Success Stories forum for inspiration! Yes, many people have lost a ton of weight and you might feel you could never do that, but don't feel inadequate! There are also people who took years to lose a relatively small amount of weight; who only lost a few pounds but look and feel much better; who have loose skin but don't let it get them down or dissuade them from losing more... you'll find someone like you in there somewhere. This thread is very helpful for tracking down those who had similar goals.
) 38
Replies
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Fantastic post! ☺1
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Loved reading this and all of your posts I saw on the diet break thread.0
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I would also add I think for some people they are cutting their calories too low and eating in too great of a deficit. Eventually, they will cave and fall off the wagon because they aren't eating enough for it to be sustainable. <- Big problem of mine in the past.2
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Awesome post!0
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Bump 0
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Agree, awesome post.
We need to keep this common sense approach bumped for at least a couple of months so those struggling with the holidays, or just joining us can benefit form the wisdom.
Cheers, h.3 -
I think part of the reason we see so many "how low can I go" or "what's the fastest way to do this" posts is because people think they're going to get the weight off fast & live happily ever after eating however they want. I like the point that you can't eat the "normal" way that brought you here ever again (which is a quantity issue more than a quality issue), so you may as well relax and learn to do it right.2
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Thanks folks! If my rambling thoughts keep even one person from giving up completely when they might have otherwise done so, I consider it time well spent in writing it!
(I originally wrote a shortened version of this for someone who was obviously stuck in that "when is the diet going to be over so I can eat normally?!" mindset, and I figured that other people might benefit from my viewpoint as well.)I would also add I think for some people they are cutting their calories too low and eating in too great of a deficit. Eventually, they will cave and fall off the wagon because they aren't eating enough for it to be sustainable. <- Big problem of mine in the past.
Yes, I really do think that would have happened to me too. I never did log any "normal" days of eating before I started losing so I don't know what my previous intake was like, but I'm pretty sure that if I'd gone straight into a huge deficit I would have felt like I was starving and given up pretty quickly! Plus I wouldn't have been able to fit in any chocolate (or not without cutting out something more "valuable"), and not being able to have chocolate just would not have worked for me!
Starting at 1500 per day and gradually cutting down has worked well for me - my appetite has slowly decreased as I've got used to having less food, so now it's not usually a problem to keep within my limit. I've mainly concentrated on the calories so far, but I'm now in the process of learning more about macros and micros so that I can start to plan my meals more carefully around what I need (and what will keep me full) instead of just what I want.
It's definitely going to have to be about quality in the future... quantity should only apply for low-calorie foods that are filling! Except maybe on pizza days. Then all bets are off!
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this post. Well done @SueSueDio on putting some many valid points down for others. Would be cool if this was a stickie. 2
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Since we're now into February and I can see a few of the new starters are ready to give up because they're not losing fast enough (or at all, in some cases), I thought I'd take the liberty of giving this a little nudge... 2
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Going to bump my own thread again as well, in view of the number of folks lately who've "only" lost a couple of pounds and are ready to throw in the towel and eat all the things...!2
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I've lost ~120 lbs, I only have another 15-25 to go depending on what the mirror tells me, and I will say this much:
There are still days where I feel like I want to give up. Like I want to hide in a corner wrapped in a blanket with a jar of peanut butter. Sometimes I feel like it has all been a waste of effort.
But I don't give up. Because there's still more to go. I can't complain that things haven't gotten better, because I'm not there yet. Maybe, if the heavens smile upon me, after I lose that last 20lbs something positive might happen. Maybe I'll see a glimmer of hope. But I will never get there if I give up, and I'd have no right to complain if I gave up.
So, even on the hard days (today, in particular, I don't know why), I grit my teeth. Deal with the hunger. Deal with the sore muscles. Paint the fake smile on my face. And soldier on into the sunset. Because nothing gets better without making it better.7 -
Congratulations on your loss so far! It does seem as though it can take a long time for the mind to catch up with the body and really see the difference (which is where photos can be really helpful), but it's worth sticking with the process.
Being thinner doesn't necessarily make us magically happier, but it's definitely better for our health and sometimes we learn to become happier with what we've got anyway. Good luck with those last few pounds! I'm working on my final 15-20 too.1 -
Mind does not need to catch up to anything. I've always loved myself regardless, and have been fit before when I was younger. There are certain double standards in society that men face that are politically incorrect to bring up, talk about, or even acknowledge. So like I said, I'll bite my lip and keep marching into the future. Excuse my crankiness. There are just days where it's all a little much.0
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Well then, I wish you well, and I hope you have a better day tomorrow! 3
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@Geocitiesuser, I think you need a ((()) today. h. 1
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Bump! ☺0
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So it's not even the end of January yet, and already I'm seeing new (or returning) users who are ready to throw in the towel.
Whether it's because they're not seeing scale results as fast as they want to, they're getting bored of their "healthy eating", or they're already thinking about when their "diet" will be over, one way or another they're considering giving up.
In the hope of helping some of these folks turn their thinking around and stick with it, I decided to resurrect my thread from a year or so ago.
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Thanks!0
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Seeing a bunch more people losing motivation lately, now that we're a good few weeks into the New Year Resolution game...
It's not "motivation" that you need - it's determination, along with realistic expectations and a sustainable method.3
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