PT, Diet, Workout Program & Motivation Issues

thestoryofangelina

I am 5'3 1/2, 320 lbs and lost. I have wanted to do something about my weight and get healthy since last fall, but I cannot find what works for me so I have come to you, the experts in ideas, for help. I am a bus commuter (30 min one way); working 9-5 daily.

I had a couple personal trainers move on with their careers to new towns (just bad luck) and have been with my current one since December. It started well, he was motivational and checking in, but the honeymoon period of that is over. He started me on this awful and crazy post-Christmas cleanse that made me really sick, and workouts 60-90 minutes. I wasn't comfortable doing a lot of the moves and really didn't like the program, so I didn't go much.

In March he gave me another program - 6 meals per day (eggs, protein shake, chicken/veg, chicken/veg, chicken/veg, oats), high protein, 1900-2093 calories per day with supplements and a program of weights only (4 different days/areas of the body to rotate), lasting around 60 minutes a session, no cardio. I started coming in more frequently because he threatened to drop me if I didn't start coming in more.

Now mid-May we have switched it up again to add in cardio. It is 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of 5 exercises with really, really heavy lifting - 4 legs, 1 chest. And again the 6 meals a day which I was clear was not realistic for me. He was also quite upset with me that I wouldn't come in once a week but I cannot afford it. I was hoping for once every two weeks but it just isn't enough according to him to meet my goals.

Growing all the exercise we did was working on the farm (not sports or gyms), and it was enough; of course this is all new-ish to me and I am a bit lost as I feel what we've been doing isn't for me (aside from the March weights - enjoyed that but know I need cardio) so for May what I had asked for and what I had wanted was a one hour or less routine, half cardio and half weights (full body) to get me started and seeing some results and more confident in going to the gym.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Help? I know it is a bit vague; but I am so frustrated with all of this I just don't know what to do. I just want something realistic - because in order to lose weight and keep it off it needs to be realistic healthy lifestyle changes I can maintain for life - not some fad cleanse or crazy workout regime that is impossible to keep up. With saying that to my trainer, he said I need to push my limitations to succeed and I get that - I am up for hard work, but I need to get some sliver of enjoyment of out it.

Thanks in advance and sorry for the book of a post - laying it all out there for help and I know the more information the better sometimes.

KristyDonovan

You might want to see a therapist.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

kimothy38

Yikes. Your trainer doesn't seem get you at all. No wonder you're frustrated. I'm 5'3 as well and started with my trainer at 245 pounds. He was gentle for the first few months while I built up confidence, now I'm down to 209 and am like a completely different person in body and mind.
I do weights on my own once a week to check a dodgy shoulder under control, and do 2 HIIT sessions with my trainer.
I refuse to diet but do 5:2 fasting which is working well.
If you don't have 100% faith and confidence in your trainer you need somebody new. You should feel supported and inspired.

capaul42

First, are you losing with this program? Cause this sounds overly complex and unnecessary (don't even get me started on the fact your trainer had you do a cleanse). At your height and weight, you should be losing easily.

kommodevaran

Dump the PT. He is just making money from you.

What you need, is enough healthy food, but not too much. You can eat anything you want, but variety is good. You can eat as many meals you want, but you need to stick to an appropriate amount of calories. If you eat healthily, enough, and food you like, it will be easier to stick to your calories. That's all you have to do, but it's also something you must do, in order to lose weight.

So. Set up MFP with your stats. Log food in your diary, eat it, hit your goal. Keep doing it. Every day. Try some different foods. Pay attention to how that makes you feel. Energized, full, happy, easy to hit calorie goal? Stick to those. Exhausted, hungry, irritable? Eat those foods only occasionally/in smaller amounts.

Move. You don't have to exercise. Just move. Walk, dance, play, rearrange furniture, whatever.

Get enough sleep and rest. Manage emotions, practice sayng yes and no, have fun, get serious. Live.

thestoryofangelina

@capaul42 - No, I am not losing. With the March weights, I did lose inches but no weight. But I am unsure about what I can and cannot have as he said no carbs but oats and sweet potato, no alcohol, and two days of eating that are exactly the same rotated with a caloric goal to hit. There really was not much guidance in the way of diet and still isn't.

kommodevaran

thestoryofangelina wrote: »

@capaul42 - No, I am not losing. With the March weights, I did lose inches but no weight. But I am unsure about what I can and cannot have as he said no carbs but oats and sweet potato, no alcohol, and two days of eating that are exactly the same rotated with a caloric goal to hit. There really was not much guidance in the way of diet and still isn't.

But this is exactly why you shouldn't follow idiot PT diet. Just eat ordinary food you like.

animatorswearbras

As kommodevaran says ^ Also you say you're a bus commuter? Any chance you can jump off a few stops before your work and walk the rest of the way, same for home? Alternatively walk to a further bus stop?

Strength training is great for retaining muscle but it's not necessary, neither is 6 meals a day, just eat in a pattern that helps you stay on track even if it's a couple of meals a day, eating extra protein is also good for satiety and muscle retention but again cals before macros so whatever you're most likely to stick to. Just keep it simple for now, also with MFP the only thing you have to keep in mind is to log accurately so you may need to acquire some digital food scales and measuring cups. Good luck, you've got this. x

Edit: Also unless you have a specific medical condition and/or insulin resistance (diabetes, PCOS etc) carbs aren't the enemy. x

slaite1

thestoryofangelina wrote: »

@capaul42 - No, I am not losing. With the March weights, I did lose inches but no weight. But I am unsure about what I can and cannot have as he said no carbs but oats and sweet potato, no alcohol, and two days of eating that are exactly the same rotated with a caloric goal to hit. There really was not much guidance in the way of diet and still isn't.

Get rid of the PT 100%
He sucks from every angle
I got angry just reading your post

Use mfp to set a calorie goal
Follow the calorie goal
Get a food scale
Eat whatever you want within that calorie/macronutrient goal
Ask a million questions here
Get MODERATE exercise (walk, lift if you like it, take classes, do videos, have FUN)

Friend some people on here, a lot are very supportive and willing to answer your questions. A ton of people have lost as much weight as you want to successfully (and kept it off) and they didn't cleanse, starve or sweet potato their way to the finish line.

MichelleWithMoxie

Why are you staying with this quack of a PT?? Dump the PT immediately and stop wasting your money. Use this app to log and track your calories, and you don't even need to worry about gym time at first. It's 80%-ish food anyway. Ugh. I can't believe the asshat of a trainer you have.

jemhh

I'm not going to call the PT a total quack but I will say to drop his services. I think that you two are not a good match. It's unrealistic to think you can do any program once every two weeks and make any progress. I can see why you both are frustrated so just stop wasting time.

Eat in a deficit and start walking for now. That's all I would recommend at this point. In a month or two once you have committed to exercising, work on bodyweight squats and modified pushups and some type of row and mobility work.

InkAndApples

This is the first post on the forum that has actually inspired me to comment... Purely to say the following:

Good Lord, drop your trainer like a hot brick.

Your regimen sounds like absolute misery, and complicated misery at that. I work with a trainer twice a week and genuinely love my sessions, she doesn't give me diet advice (she isn't qualified to and we disagree on certain fundamentals like pizza and gin) but she celebrates my milestones with me. She kicks my *kitten* and pushes me but if I'm not comfortable with a move she switches it out for something else.

I echo the advice above - when it comes to weight loss it's genuinely as simple as learning how to log accurately (which takes about five minutes of reading the stickies at the top of the forum) and then following the calories MFP gives you.

trigden1991

At 320lbs you should (and could) be dropping lbs quickly.

Set up MFP, use the calorie goal provided and stick with it!

slaite1

animatorswearbras wrote: »

As kommodevaran says ^ Also you say you're a bus commuter? Any chance you can jump off a few stops before your work and walk the rest of the way, same for home? Alternatively walk to a further bus stop?

Strength training is great for retaining muscle but it's not necessary, neither is 6 meals a day, just eat in a pattern that helps you stay on track even if it's a couple of meals a day, eating extra protein is also good for satiety and muscle retention but again cals before macros so whatever you're most likely to stick to. Just keep it simple for now, also with MFP the only thing you have to keep in mind is to log accurately so you may need to acquire some digital food scales and measuring cups. Good luck, you've got this. x

Edit: Also unless you have a specific medical condition and/or insulin resistance (diabetes, PCOS etc) carbs aren't the enemy. x

This is great advice

Especially the bus thing, didn't think of that. Simple way to get some exercise in without adding to your day!

thestoryofangelina

@kommodevaran - thank you!

@animatorswearbras - the bus stop thing is totally do-able and I almost kick myself for not thinking to do that

@slaite1 - thank you - I will friend some folks to get that group feeling of support

@InkAndApples - appreciate the comment and it sounds like your trainer is one I would need. There are some moves that physically with my body as it is now I cannot do, but am pushed to the just feel like a complete failure

Rebecca0224

thestoryofangelina wrote: »

@capaul42 - No, I am not losing. With the March weights, I did lose inches but no weight. But I am unsure about what I can and cannot have as he said no carbs but oats and sweet potato, no alcohol, and two days of eating that are exactly the same rotated with a caloric goal to hit. There really was not much guidance in the way of diet and still isn't.

Thank him for his service and stop seeing him. It seems like he is very uninformed about nutrition. He also does not seem to understand your goals and personal preferences. Sometimes a trainer is just not the right fit and they will keep taking your money until you decide to stop seeing him.