Those who have lost a significant amount of weight, how did you stay motivated for the long haul?

breefoshee

Hi,
I've lost 40lbs in the past two years, but I still have about 75lbs more to lose. I'm struggling to be consistent and lose weight steadily. I managed to yo-yo down 20lbs last year and I've done the same this year. I'll get a spurt of motivation and stay good for a couple of months...then I get bored and stop for a while. I know a lot about healthy eating and IIFYM, Calorie counting, Keto, "Clean eating"-- but truthfully knowing doesn't equate to doing.

So what were the things that helped you to keep going? How did you set your short-term goals?

Ruatine

I've lost 80 lbs. I have 20 more to go. The best advice I ever read about motivation to get fit was a post from "A Workout Routine" on Facebook:

Here's a little secret about motivation.

Most people approach their goal of losing fat or building muscle with motivation as the sole (or at least, primary) factor getting them to consistently do what needs to be done.

This is great, except for one thing: motivation is temporary.

It goes up and down over the course of a day, comes and goes over the course of weeks, and completely vanishes and eventually reappears (if you’re lucky) over a span of months, years and decades. Just like an emotion, motivation is something that you can feel strongly one minute and then not feel at all the next.

So how do most people try to solve this?

By constantly seeking out new things that will provide them with additional *TINY* amounts of *TEMPORARY* motivation. Quotes, memes, videos, pictures. Whatever will give them another "hit" of the motivated feeling they crave and *THINK* they require.

Unfortunately, this doesn't actually work.

Even the best motivational quotes (or whatever) will only make you feel that nice "motivated" feeling for a few seconds. Maybe a few minutes.

But after that? It's gone. And it's time to seek out the next useless source of temporary motivation. And then the next. And then the next.

And in the end, what does any of this actually do for you? Virtually nothing.

Which is why the REAL solution here is to understand that your problem ISN'T a lack of motivation. Your problem is thinking that motivation is something you must constantly have in order to do what needs to be done.

It's not.

Rather, the key to your success (or lack thereof) is going to be your ability to do the important things even when you aren't feeling motivated to do so.

And that, above all else, comes down to self-discipline and creating the proper habits.

Not finding new motivation.

In the end, I've found that all the big or little motivations I have tried to use to keep me on track eventually fail. Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and determine that you're going to do it anyway. I've had a very difficult time losing the last 20 lbs. I went on a maintenance break while I was prepping for my wedding earlier this year and found that I really liked maintaining where I was. On the other hand though, I do want to lose the last 20. I'm keeping my ultimate goal in sight and reminding myself why I set the goal in the first place. And I don't beat myself up for not being perfect.

kommodevaran

I stopped looking for motivation. We can't really be motivated to lose weight, first of all because we don't lose weight - our bodies just use up stored fat when we consistently eat less and/or move more. That's not always easy to do. But we can make eating less and moving more, more easy or more difficult. For me, that is no more trying to be good, or random+specific healthy (or "clean") eating, or good intentions but never following through - just living a happy, enjoyable life, eating and moving and thinking like a healthy person. With no foods off limits, but also being realistic and not buy heaps of too palatable foods, there are no more fighting my urges, at least no hard battles, no more feelings of failing myself, and I'm effortlessly maintaining a healthy weight.

maybe1pe

I've been on here for 2.5 years and have lost 106 lbs. For me it was about making small changes over time that I will stick to.

I didn't cut any food completely out of my diet. I'm not willing to spend the rest of my life not eating cake or candy or not drinking an alcohol or not eating out. So I learned to work all of those things into my diet in moderation.

I only do exercise I enjoy. I love to be outside so I started walking my dogs more and hiking more, kayaking, pretty much anything and finding activities that I enjoy doing that I don't view as exercise to just be more active in general. I don't like cardio, I'll never run, I don't use an elliptical, but I do like strength training. So I found a routine that I can stick to. I like kettlebells so right now I'm doing a home workout with them that's set up using a calendar (ex: monday you do this, wednesday you do this) and I made a commitment to myself to complete it. So even on days that I lack motivation I do it because I made the commitment to myself. (And I will say even when I really don't want to I NEVER regret a workout afterwards)

I take diet breaks. When I start to find myself getting frustrated over the scale not moving or whatever else I take a break. I still log my food, I still do my exercise but I eat at maintenance and shift my mentality to accept that the scale isn't going to change. I've done it for as short as a couple of weeks, I've done it for as long as 6 months. But I always come back to it.

I don't have a ultimate goal weight. I have one set in my profile but I don't consider that the make or break determination of success. First and foremost I want to be healthy and strong. Secondly, I have an ideal body fat % I want. Basically I have fitness and health goals that are not connected to my weight. Which helps motivate me through times when the scale isn't moving. If I don't lose weight for 2 months but my lifts are steadily progressing and I can push myself harder in my workouts and walk farther or whatever else it may be that's still progress to me and I don't punish myself for the scale.

ALSO, getting out of the make or break mentality. If I mess up and eat a huge lunch and know I'm going to be over for the day, I don't punish myself. I pick myself back up and dust my butt off and hop back on that horse starting with the next meal, I don't use it as an excuse to binge the rest of the day or the rest of the week, I start over starting at that moment.

Ashtoretet

I didn't. I just kept doing it because I had self-discipline. It was either lose weight or doom myself to poor health forever, failure wasn't an option.

GottaBurnEmAll

I honestly stopped relying on motivation ages ago.

Everything I do and practice now is about habit and goal setting.

I guess you could call achieving new goals motivating, but the bulk of the nuts and bolts work of losing/maintaining the bulk of my loss is all down to habit.

JaydedMiss

buckle down and did it anyway. Motivation always fails. Waiting for motivation is an excuse people use to not do it

fitoverfortymom

I didn't ever think too far in the future about it. I figured I could do it one day, I could do it the next day, and so on. Over time, that was a lot of days of doing it, and it made a difference.

DCharlie2

To rely on motivation is a bit dangerous. It's such an ephemeral thing -- over and done in a day. For whatever it's worth, I've lost 50 lb. (my goal is to lose 100!) by keeping a routine and sticking strictly to it. I keep an honest food diary (I use a food scale, measuring spoons, and measuring cups as needed -- no guessing), I stick to my exercise routine (walking 30 mins/day, and a 20-minute HIIT routine 3 times/week), and I weigh in and measure weekly. I reward myself in my mind for each small victory along the way, and I try to take setbacks in stride -- not always easy. As the saying goes, losing a lot of weight is a marathon, not a sprint. I'm in it for the long, long multi-year haul, to get rid of it, get healthy, and keep it off for good.

bajoyba

80 pounds down and almost 5 years in (most of which is time in weight maintenance), I agree that at some point, it becomes much more about self discipline than it is about motivation. Motivation is a great starting point, but as others have mentioned, it is temporary, and it fluctuates. Fit people aren't constantly motivated - they just do it anyway. It's like any other obligation you might have in life, like going to work or brushing your teeth.
There will be times you feel totally pumped to do what you need to do, and other times, it will feel like a chore. But just like other chores, you just get it done. You make time and put the effort in for things that are important.

I find that having a training plan and a schedule helps me stick to it. If proper eating habits are where you're having issues, maybe planning out your meals in advance will help. And also realize that losing weight and keeping it off is all about sustainability. You don't need any fad diet or clean eating or anything else - you simply need to find a way of eating that you can continue forever. For me, this meant eating all of the things I've always eaten, but in better portions. I find it much easier to stick to a "diet" if I don't feel like I'm missing anything.

If workouts are hard to stick to, find a specific training plan or set a specific goal. Then, schedule your workouts. It's much easier to get through and accomplish if you make it a part of your normal day. Of course, you don't NEED to exercise to lose weight, but in my experience, it's so worth it to find a form of movement that you enjoy and that makes you feel awesome about yourself.

And lastly, don't get stuck in an "all or nothing" mentality. There is no "falling off the wagon". If you do it right, this is a lifelong lifestyle. That means you'll have good days and bad days, days where everything goes right and days where you might not move from the couch. And all of that is okay, because what really matters is the long term effect of all of your choices.

ZoneFive

I’m diabetic. My long haul could be a short one (or anyway a very uncomfortable one) if I don’t stay with it. So I find ways to make it interesting. Learn something new — swimming, biking, hiking, maybe snowshoeing this winter.

steveko89

Ditto to everyone else saying that motivation is fleeting. It's really all about habits, consistency, and structured discipline. Think of how long it took and how ingrained the habits were that brought you to be overweight; you'll have to permanently buck those trends to sustain success. Given your comments it sounds like when you're "on" you're trying to follow restrictive nutritional methodology, which may ultimately be too restrictive for you to realistically sustain or need to work up to doing so in a sustainable fashion. Don't think about it as "being good" or "staying on track"; it needs more of a gradual progression of improvement and sustainable changes to your nutrition and lifestyle. Take a hard look at what happens when you stop "staying good", as you put. Learn those habits and pitfalls and take measures against them. Don't just say "well I'm just going to try to avoid doing that again for <insert time interval>", make the best choice also be an easy choice.

This is going to look differently for everyone. For instance, I was torpedoing my nutrition with a vending machine habit, getting a honey bun or other junk when I needed a break at work. To fix this I stopped carrying cash/small bills and it's made a big difference. It's harder to eat junk if you don't buy it so my wife and I grocery shop together to keep each other accountable about the type of food we bring into our home. I also make a point to lay out my workout clothes and pre-workout powder with my work clothes before I go to bed each night so I can easily be ready for my workout upon waking, even if I hit the snooze one too many times. That said I didn't come to these conclusions overnight, it was the result of quite a bit of trial-and-error and time learning from those errors. Keep at and commit to getting better everyday and you'll get closer and closer to your goal.

rainbow198

I lost 80 pounds and 2018 will be my 5th year of keeping it all off.

While I was losing weight seeing myself drop inches and clothes sizes kept me motivated.

Creating healthy, sustainable habits and being consistent with it, not being hard on myself or forcing myself to do things like eating a certain way or doing workouts I didn't enjoy seem to have made my weight loss experience not too bad. Plus it made me to want to keep going.

What keeps me going in maintenance is I'm always trying new things such as different activities, sports, workouts, recipes, buying new toys for my home gym etc. This keeps me from getting bored and getting complacent.

I just really wanted this (weight loss and getting fit) and was willing to put in the work to reach my goal.

davidylin

Motivation is temporary by nature.

I developed good habits that would carry me through times where I was not very motivated. Habits like good portion sizes, tastes for fruits and vegetables, doing regular exercise, being accountable and honest to myself about how much I am eating, etc.

So when I go off the farm now, I don't get too far away. My habits, routines, and changed ways keep me nearby.

And then I get back on the horse when I'm able.

callsitlikeiseeit

because i still dont want to be fat.

breefoshee

Thanks for the responses everyone. It's pretty interesting to hear that most of you haven't had an infinite dose of motivation to reach your goals-- it's definitely given me something to think about. It makes a big difference to hear from those who have been there and done it.

VintageFeline

Accepting there is no end point. It isn't a case of "I just need to do this for x weeks/months whatever" but it's a lifetime. So I just keep going. 2.5 years, not yet at goal, not always compliant enough to lose large amounts of weight but I have never regained unknowingly (things like holidays are times I know I'm likely to have a gain and that's okay). I just keep going. Keep implementing the habits I have developed. I'm better sometimes than others and that's also okay.

So I might not always be moving forward as it were but I'm never reversing. And most of the time there is no motivation as others say, it's pure habit and discipline.

apullum

I lost 100 pounds in about 2.5 years. I agree that motivation isn't a great way to look at it. Both motivation and willpower are finite and if you're relying on those things, you won't be able to sustain them over the long term. Weight loss and maintenance of your weight loss are really about changing your routines. You're learning new ways to eat and view your relationship with food, and those new routines need to be sustainable over the long term.

I didn't eliminate any foods that I liked, because I don't want to live like that forever; I just learned to eat less of them or eat them on days when they fit my calorie goals. I didn't do "cheat days" because they can easily eliminate a week's calorie deficit and they create a mentality of overeating on certain days rather than having a sustainable routine. I didn't add any new "diet foods." I just ate within my calorie goals, and I started exercising more because it's good for my body, and also because I like eating more. Weight loss is about math. Nothing more or less.

tl;dr, motivation is short term. New routines are for the long term.

perkymommy

It's been really hard. I first started on MFP in February 2016. I had already lost quite a bit through weight watchers but wanted something free. I lose a lot slower doing MFP but it works if you hang in there and stay at it. I see it as a lifestyle change. I don't want to overeat on a consistent basis and only want to eat what my body needs or until I feel satisfied so that's where weighing my food comes in. It's hard because this is my third go at this. Also, I don't cut out any foods I like but I do make sure I count every thing I eat.

I got to goal in spring 2016 and gained it all back last winter out of pure laziness and stress eating. It's up to me to do it because no one can do this for me.

amandaeve

I lost 70 lbs. in 2006. I've yo-yo'd a bit since then, but never more than 15 lbs. from my goal. I feel pretty successful overall.

When I was in deficit, I treated it like a second job. And it was a lot of work. I held myself accountable for several "rules" and "tasks" just like in the workplace. The list of strategies is so long, it's probably better for a different thread.

I also tried to be realistic. 60 lbs. in, I knew my real job was going to be super stressful for about 7 months. I just tried to maintain at that time, and knew I could get back at it later.

After a couple of years of carrying around measuring spoons and that sort of thing, most of those helpful behaviors were habit, ingrained, and I could slack off focusing so hard. At this point, the only thing really keeping me going is remembering that losing all that weight was the hardest thing I ever did and I really don't want to have to do it all over again.

CSARdiver

First of all I do not rely on motivation. I setup a strategy with short term tactics to hit established goals. I set up realistic short term goals which feed into long term goals all of which support maintaining a healthy weight and a level of physical fitness.

I compete in running events, biking events, swimming events, triathlons, obstacle course races, etc. none of which I could do if I allowed myself to get overweight.

I do the following exercise:

I write down 5 "bad" habits that I want to change and prioritize these 1-5 and cross out 2-5. I focus on the number one habit and figure out a "good" habit I'm going to replace this with. Once this new habit becomes part of my everyday behavior and fully ingrained I repeat this exercise and focus on the next habit.