Give Y/OURSELF the "gift" of freedom and CHANGE starting today and forevermore!
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NewLIFEstyle4ME
Posts: 4,440 Member
Thinking about my lifechanging/eye-opening thread:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10620293/let-it-go-decluttering-simplifying-your-life-of-people-places-or-things-success-stories/p78
I've gone from obese to so-called normal weight (from 219.8lbs size 22w to 138.6lbs size 6/8 from doing these things here (and more), but just wanted to share--in case someone will find it helpful and "needful".
I'm going to post what I'm writing here over there too, but wanted to start a new thread here, just for a wider audience, so to speak. Here it is:
Give Y/OURSELF the "gift" of freedom and CHANGE starting today and forevermore!
Y/our lives will FOREVER change (for the better, not only for ourselves, but for everyone around if/as we implement the following:
#1.
DO IT Y/OURSELVES and DO IT WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE & JOY in your heart + FEAR IS AN ENEMY OF YOURS--FEAR IS AGAINST YOU...NOT FOR YOU, period.
One of my biggest and bitterness inducing issues with weight blastification and a LOT more, was my personal major mistake/issue of either wanting someone to do something that "I" thought they should be doing (to help me or themselves--but mainly to "help" me). I discovered that the old fashioned saying of "if you want something done right, DO it yourself"--is not only freeing but true...but what I didn't know about that wise saying is doing stuff yourself (instead of depending/hoping/wishing/enabling) that someone else would do it (this INCLUDES wanting someone (besides yourself) to be cheering you on, doing it with/for you (not just for you), etc.) and making SURE when you do it yourself, you do it without one ounce of bitterness, anger, regret, fear and woe-is-me, no one is helping me, I can't do this alone or this is too hard by myself attitude/spirit). Doing it for YOURSELF, with JOY and with the mind-set of I "get" to do this, instead of I "have" to do this--will change your life forever for the better. Now #2 goes along with this
#2. YOU ARE THE "BOSS" OF YOUR THOUGHTS, period.
Another major league stumbling block in making major wonderful life/lifestyle changes is the way we think. Our thinking is a major contributing factor to the YUCK in our lives, it REALLY it. Example...in number 1 above, instead of thinking "why can't they (or even "I") ever (fill in the blank)" and WHY do they do whatever it is and instead, MAKE yourself forever FORSAKE/FORGET the trying to figure out WHY and just do what needs to be done YOURSELF--to be the BEST/A BETTER you ever, make yourself think differently about having someone on your side, in your corner and them doing what YOU want them to (Control/controlling issues WILL bite you and make things harder than they have to be. If you know/believe someone is trying to control you--YOU have the power to stop it, you really do...it may take some lifestyle changes and choices, but you have everything you need to change, starting with your mind and thoughts--sounds simple, because if you get down to truth/brass tax, it is) --make yourself think differently about it, no exceptions. EVER keeping in the forethought of your mind "if I keep doing what I'm doing...I'M GOING TO KEEP GETTING WHAT I'M GETTING (again, sounds simple, because it is). Instead, look at it this way--they got those blasted socks are on the floor again, after me asking/telling/begging them to pick them up everyday--all the time, they are such a (fill in the blank) and make my life miserable because they won't (fill in the blank). Just pick the blasted socks up for the upteenth time, and REFUSE to let it bother you. Why? Because the poison you swallow as you "allow.show them" what will continue to happen TO YOU is major funky resentment to build/grow IN YOU, will color all of your thoughts, actions and deeds AND isn't going to make them do it and will make you all sick, tired and feel all mean and evil and whatnot and will wind up hurting you much more than it will hurt them (no matter how much that doesn't make sense to us).
MAKE yourself think I'll pick these socks up with joy--because I can, NO BIG DEAL or even I won't pick these socks up...I will REFUSE to allow seeing them/it to bother me another second--why should I put myself through the fuss and woe, when they don't care or be bothered by it one wit--only me? It's a HUGE concept and a definitely NOT NATURAL (to/for most people). Our thoughts are NOT us, we can CHOOSE to accept them/feed them and/or kick them to the curb (stomping on them before we do) and CHOOSE to look at whatever going on (that's making YOU lose sleep, overeat/over drink or doing something unhealthy and unproductive in and thru YOU NOT THEM, make yourself look at whatever is bugging the mess outta you from a different perspective.
Example: FROM: They NEVER pick their socks up or they're ALWAYS late. TO: They don't ALWAYS not pick their socks up, sometimes they do pick them up (challenging your thoughts instead of welcoming and petting them as true/real. Not believing everything you think (without REALLY checking to see if what you're thinking is true vs. exaggerated or negative/nasty attitudes having their way with you Also, make yourself question what's troubling you then DARE to look at it another way, make yourself SEE that you believing everything you think is true is causing some unnecessary and unhealthy wars and strife and if they don't care about what's troubling you, ask yourself why I am making a big deal of this? I can pick them up for them or leave them there--I'm no longer going to make this a hill I die on, period. and/or If they are always late, I know this--so why am I allowing myself to get in a tizzy about this. I'll just carry on without them AND HAVE FUN DOING IT ALONE/WITHOUT THEM and if they finally get it one day, terrific and if not, terrific. It is what it is and my getting bent out of shape out THE WAY I'M CHOOSING TO is only me hurting me, myself and I (Far more than them)--NO MORE, challenge that woe is me thoughts with I tired of being a slave to my thoughts, I don't have to live this way anymore--I can CHANGE my thinking about everything and what will happen in/thru/to me if/WHEN I do? I'll become stronger and stronger to make better changes--bigger changes, changes that will help me make wiser, tougher choices and decisions.
#3. It is amazing that 9 times outta 10...the VERY thing I'm judging/getting mad at (fill in the blank) I am guilty of myself (or could be) in one way or another--as I'm blame shifting someone about (fill in blank)...I'm guilty myself of the same thing OR at least sorta the same thing, so STOP IT! Make myself see the mass hypocrisy that is filling my thoughts, actions and deeds--STOP seeing myself as the "victim" and instead...see myself as the criminal (just a different kind of criminal perhaps--because my getting all mad, wrathful, bitter, disappointed is only making me feel and DO worse than what I'm accusing them of. This "getting even" shady business aint working out too swift me/you--I'm so on the short end of the stick as I'm battling (losing battle BTW) with this person, place or thing. If I don't like what I'm getting...CHANGE the way I'm thinking and living and do whatever it takes to either get out of this situation or handle it in a totally completely different approach (my thoughts/actions and deeds). See that as I change the way I'm thinking about this person, place or thing...I get/feel stronger and better. Worse case scenario, I'll LEARN my lesson(s) from this person, place and thing and be grateful that as long as I'm living...I can change, period.
#4. The wonderful POWERFUL answer of NO! Saying and with a I mean business attitude and spirit of NO to people, places and things AND YOURSELF, period. You don't have to "go along to get along" if you don't want to. This saying NO is to yourself even more than to others. Being a people pleaser is the worst, because it feeds bitterness, resentment and more. Saying "yes"--even hesitantly when you know you mean NO is the stuff of mess, wars and yuck are made of. What worse? Disappointing others or living with a big ole lie and mess because you refused to "let your "yay be yay and your nay be nay". Thinking and saying NO to what's not good to/for you and YES to what is good to and for you is everything, it REALLY is!
Lastly...
#5. Make yourself deal with and handle your wants and your needs. As we make choices solely on "wants" we find that what we need goes unnoticed and unfulfilled and puts us on a yucky merri-go-round of confusion and excess and more. Wants are terrific, but giving yourself over 100% to your wants and neglecting or making low priority what your REAL needs are, is the stuff Ugh is made of.
Start today purposely CHOOSING to go after (make a priority) of what you "need" vs. what you "want" and watch fabulous changes begin to happen in your life that you will grow to really love and appreciate (not to mention saving you a LOT of time, money, heartache and woe/regret). It's so tremendous that when you focus on your needs--you either fulfill your wants or simply/minimalizae them.
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10620293/let-it-go-decluttering-simplifying-your-life-of-people-places-or-things-success-stories/p78
I've gone from obese to so-called normal weight (from 219.8lbs size 22w to 138.6lbs size 6/8 from doing these things here (and more), but just wanted to share--in case someone will find it helpful and "needful".
I'm going to post what I'm writing here over there too, but wanted to start a new thread here, just for a wider audience, so to speak. Here it is:
Give Y/OURSELF the "gift" of freedom and CHANGE starting today and forevermore!
Y/our lives will FOREVER change (for the better, not only for ourselves, but for everyone around if/as we implement the following:
#1.
DO IT Y/OURSELVES and DO IT WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE & JOY in your heart + FEAR IS AN ENEMY OF YOURS--FEAR IS AGAINST YOU...NOT FOR YOU, period.
One of my biggest and bitterness inducing issues with weight blastification and a LOT more, was my personal major mistake/issue of either wanting someone to do something that "I" thought they should be doing (to help me or themselves--but mainly to "help" me). I discovered that the old fashioned saying of "if you want something done right, DO it yourself"--is not only freeing but true...but what I didn't know about that wise saying is doing stuff yourself (instead of depending/hoping/wishing/enabling) that someone else would do it (this INCLUDES wanting someone (besides yourself) to be cheering you on, doing it with/for you (not just for you), etc.) and making SURE when you do it yourself, you do it without one ounce of bitterness, anger, regret, fear and woe-is-me, no one is helping me, I can't do this alone or this is too hard by myself attitude/spirit). Doing it for YOURSELF, with JOY and with the mind-set of I "get" to do this, instead of I "have" to do this--will change your life forever for the better. Now #2 goes along with this
#2. YOU ARE THE "BOSS" OF YOUR THOUGHTS, period.
Another major league stumbling block in making major wonderful life/lifestyle changes is the way we think. Our thinking is a major contributing factor to the YUCK in our lives, it REALLY it. Example...in number 1 above, instead of thinking "why can't they (or even "I") ever (fill in the blank)" and WHY do they do whatever it is and instead, MAKE yourself forever FORSAKE/FORGET the trying to figure out WHY and just do what needs to be done YOURSELF--to be the BEST/A BETTER you ever, make yourself think differently about having someone on your side, in your corner and them doing what YOU want them to (Control/controlling issues WILL bite you and make things harder than they have to be. If you know/believe someone is trying to control you--YOU have the power to stop it, you really do...it may take some lifestyle changes and choices, but you have everything you need to change, starting with your mind and thoughts--sounds simple, because if you get down to truth/brass tax, it is) --make yourself think differently about it, no exceptions. EVER keeping in the forethought of your mind "if I keep doing what I'm doing...I'M GOING TO KEEP GETTING WHAT I'M GETTING (again, sounds simple, because it is). Instead, look at it this way--they got those blasted socks are on the floor again, after me asking/telling/begging them to pick them up everyday--all the time, they are such a (fill in the blank) and make my life miserable because they won't (fill in the blank). Just pick the blasted socks up for the upteenth time, and REFUSE to let it bother you. Why? Because the poison you swallow as you "allow.show them" what will continue to happen TO YOU is major funky resentment to build/grow IN YOU, will color all of your thoughts, actions and deeds AND isn't going to make them do it and will make you all sick, tired and feel all mean and evil and whatnot and will wind up hurting you much more than it will hurt them (no matter how much that doesn't make sense to us).
MAKE yourself think I'll pick these socks up with joy--because I can, NO BIG DEAL or even I won't pick these socks up...I will REFUSE to allow seeing them/it to bother me another second--why should I put myself through the fuss and woe, when they don't care or be bothered by it one wit--only me? It's a HUGE concept and a definitely NOT NATURAL (to/for most people). Our thoughts are NOT us, we can CHOOSE to accept them/feed them and/or kick them to the curb (stomping on them before we do) and CHOOSE to look at whatever going on (that's making YOU lose sleep, overeat/over drink or doing something unhealthy and unproductive in and thru YOU NOT THEM, make yourself look at whatever is bugging the mess outta you from a different perspective.
Example: FROM: They NEVER pick their socks up or they're ALWAYS late. TO: They don't ALWAYS not pick their socks up, sometimes they do pick them up (challenging your thoughts instead of welcoming and petting them as true/real. Not believing everything you think (without REALLY checking to see if what you're thinking is true vs. exaggerated or negative/nasty attitudes having their way with you Also, make yourself question what's troubling you then DARE to look at it another way, make yourself SEE that you believing everything you think is true is causing some unnecessary and unhealthy wars and strife and if they don't care about what's troubling you, ask yourself why I am making a big deal of this? I can pick them up for them or leave them there--I'm no longer going to make this a hill I die on, period. and/or If they are always late, I know this--so why am I allowing myself to get in a tizzy about this. I'll just carry on without them AND HAVE FUN DOING IT ALONE/WITHOUT THEM and if they finally get it one day, terrific and if not, terrific. It is what it is and my getting bent out of shape out THE WAY I'M CHOOSING TO is only me hurting me, myself and I (Far more than them)--NO MORE, challenge that woe is me thoughts with I tired of being a slave to my thoughts, I don't have to live this way anymore--I can CHANGE my thinking about everything and what will happen in/thru/to me if/WHEN I do? I'll become stronger and stronger to make better changes--bigger changes, changes that will help me make wiser, tougher choices and decisions.
#3. It is amazing that 9 times outta 10...the VERY thing I'm judging/getting mad at (fill in the blank) I am guilty of myself (or could be) in one way or another--as I'm blame shifting someone about (fill in blank)...I'm guilty myself of the same thing OR at least sorta the same thing, so STOP IT! Make myself see the mass hypocrisy that is filling my thoughts, actions and deeds--STOP seeing myself as the "victim" and instead...see myself as the criminal (just a different kind of criminal perhaps--because my getting all mad, wrathful, bitter, disappointed is only making me feel and DO worse than what I'm accusing them of. This "getting even" shady business aint working out too swift me/you--I'm so on the short end of the stick as I'm battling (losing battle BTW) with this person, place or thing. If I don't like what I'm getting...CHANGE the way I'm thinking and living and do whatever it takes to either get out of this situation or handle it in a totally completely different approach (my thoughts/actions and deeds). See that as I change the way I'm thinking about this person, place or thing...I get/feel stronger and better. Worse case scenario, I'll LEARN my lesson(s) from this person, place and thing and be grateful that as long as I'm living...I can change, period.
#4. The wonderful POWERFUL answer of NO! Saying and with a I mean business attitude and spirit of NO to people, places and things AND YOURSELF, period. You don't have to "go along to get along" if you don't want to. This saying NO is to yourself even more than to others. Being a people pleaser is the worst, because it feeds bitterness, resentment and more. Saying "yes"--even hesitantly when you know you mean NO is the stuff of mess, wars and yuck are made of. What worse? Disappointing others or living with a big ole lie and mess because you refused to "let your "yay be yay and your nay be nay". Thinking and saying NO to what's not good to/for you and YES to what is good to and for you is everything, it REALLY is!
Lastly...
#5. Make yourself deal with and handle your wants and your needs. As we make choices solely on "wants" we find that what we need goes unnoticed and unfulfilled and puts us on a yucky merri-go-round of confusion and excess and more. Wants are terrific, but giving yourself over 100% to your wants and neglecting or making low priority what your REAL needs are, is the stuff Ugh is made of.
Start today purposely CHOOSING to go after (make a priority) of what you "need" vs. what you "want" and watch fabulous changes begin to happen in your life that you will grow to really love and appreciate (not to mention saving you a LOT of time, money, heartache and woe/regret). It's so tremendous that when you focus on your needs--you either fulfill your wants or simply/minimalizae them.
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Replies
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I really needed this even more than I thought. Thank you0
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I really needed this even more than I thought. Thank you
My pleasure and thank you for your reply. Here's to cheering you on--SLOW and STEADY wins the race and if you look at/constantly tell/remind yourself of seeing IMPOSSIBLE as IM POSSIBLE that will help you in this adventure in change too.
{{{{ Hugs }}}}
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Thank you, OP, lovely optimism and what a great journey, well done!!
Mother issues for me.... even though living in a different country, the effects still linger long! I’m struggling dealing with these and being the better person and working so hard at not emulating a single thing in my own life with my family. I’m starting to see the emotional eating a lot clearer now too and realising undercurrents of comments that I never saw before....1 -
SuperMotivated56 wrote: »Thank you, OP, lovely optimism and what a great journey, well done!!
Mother issues for me.... even though living in a different country, the effects still linger long! I’m struggling dealing with these and being the better person and working so hard at not emulating a single thing in my own life with my family. I’m starting to see the emotional eating a lot clearer now too and realising undercurrents of comments that I never saw before....
You're super welcomed and THANK YOU for sharing as well! I know well how REAL the struggle with people, places and things are and can be. What I've discovered and now know and truly believe is I simply cannot change people, no matter how hard I try, BUT...I can change myself and the way I think about them 100% and that (for me) makes all the difference in the world--it truly does. By MAKING myself think about some person, place or thing that is troubling/bothering/irritating the heck outta me...when I think "SO WHAT"?!!? about them/it. It's amazing how powerful SO WHAT is. Example: My mother is a (fill in the blank)...she is so (fill in the blank). When I truly make it a SO WHAT!?! deal--it no longer has power to get my goat or trigger me. SO WHAT meaning...I can't change them and I'm going to do whatever it takes (in a calm, cool, loving but I MEAN BUSINESS--ain't nobody got time for this mess/foolishness/negativity/YUCK attitude/spiritthoughts) to distance myself from them 100%--NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE (even and especially if in my mind) by AGREEING WITH THEM RESPECTFULLY by saying/thinking (AND MEANING) a Okay or I understand what you're saying or how you feel or a sincere and hearty thanks for sharing and then moving on like my life depends on it...because it does in a way.
By REFUSING to allow yourself to be going back and forth (even in your mind) about a person, place or thing that you know is quite frankly, a fool or with ANY foolishness or yuck--you un-arm their "power/control" over you and live in a clean and joyous place of okay, SO WHAT? This is an old saying that I always ignored, until I began to become FREE from "mess and ugh and Yuck--here it is:
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
Also, I learned/am learning this too:
Definition of a fool:
A fool is someone who is COMMITTED to ignorance
A fool is someone who is COMMITTED to arrogance
A fool is someone who is COMMITTED to wickedness
So, long story short--if you KNOW you're dealing with a fool...DON'T. You/we don't owe ANYTHING to a person, place or thing that is hell-bent on seeing us disturbed/upset out of sorts and just plain NOT GOOD to/for us. No matter WHO it is. We don't have a lower ourselves with them by letting them CONTROL you or get you out of the wonderful and good person that you truly are--by being mean, evil, nasty, upset, disrespectful or anything other than Y/OUR powered by/with REAL love and REAL joy and REALLY thinking SO WHAT!!!!! You can deal with your mother and any and everybody else by changing the way you think about them, period. You're doing this for YOU not so much or much more than for them. Practice makes better--again, it make take some time, but as you practice thinking...I'm dealing with some "fools" or a fool--it will HELP you move in SO WHAT mode--it really will!
{{{{ Hugs to you and I'm cheering you on}}}}} It may take some time to "get-it"...but you are on your way and I'm so glad you are. Thanks again for your reply!
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Thank you SO much NewLIFEstyle4ME, I can’t tell you how much those words mean and particularly resonate with me. Not only have you gained so much physically through your journey, but clearly emotionally and psychologically, not to mention the wisdom that you have gained!
I love the one about wrestling with a pig - I will remember this one! 🐷👍🏻
It is definitely a work in progress and I’m determined not to allow myself to be derailed this time and to come out even stronger and with a lot more grace and kindness! 💞🌸0 -
SuperMotivated56 wrote: »Thank you SO much NewLIFEstyle4ME, I can’t tell you how much those words mean and particularly resonate with me. Not only have you gained so much physically through your journey, but clearly emotionally and psychologically, not to mention the wisdom that you have gained!
I love the one about wrestling with a pig - I will remember this one! 🐷👍🏻
It is definitely a work in progress and I’m determined not to allow myself to be derailed this time and to come out even stronger and with a lot more grace and kindness! 💞🌸
How thrilling--you ROCK, period. Again CHEERING YOU ON! {{{ Hugs }}}
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You’re awesome too!!
🌟👍🏻💖0
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