Pushy *kitten* people: Time to vent

jencute

When I came home for this break, i imaged enjoying my family's company and having a nice time just hanging out. What i got were relatives (parents) freaking out about every little bite i put in my mouth. Actually no. What bites I didn't put in my mouth. My body is constantly being talked about in a negative fashion, and it really hurts. Either I was 20 pounds heavier and doing it to myself andd getting the occasional sideways, disapproving look from them, or I'm 20 pounds lighter, happy with myself, but having that happiness constantly being pummeled by a constant stream of criticism and "worry." What it is is misunderstanding. There is something fundamentally different about how we approach food. To them, if there are two options, you're supposed to eat both of them, no second thought. To me, I either pick the one I want, or have a smaller bit of both, also known as moderation. However, if I'm not eating two or more entree sized portions of whatever is in front of me, I must be overly restrictive or have control issues or be on the brink of an eating disorder. What had become second nature to me, I'm now constantly thinking over as to how to be less conspicuous. Now i'm actually being devious and weird with my food, simply because i'm paranoid that they're gonna do something to it to make it "healthier." Tonight i found myself "proving" that I'm "fine" by splitting a piece of tiramisu. Not because I wanted it. Because I felt pressured into eating it, like I was performing. Basically, I went from one unpleasant atmosphere expecting a much more welcoming and happier place, but instead got smacked in the face with this constant nagging and badgering. It's ruining my holiday spirit, that's for sure.