Shedding Pounds Gained From A Dark Past?

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  • monerddd
    monerddd Posts: 27
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    I kind of gained weight from a dark past...I can't relate though. I used to be really skinny and active like any normal 7 year old. And than when my mom started having mental issues and my dad leaving to the military.. I never really went out anymore I started eating a lot to fill a hole that was supposed to be filled with love. I ate instead. I started to become depressed at 11 years old and never really wanted to go out. When I became 12 years old I shot 210 pounds and I didn't care because right after that I got sent to foster care. Those years are gone now...everyday gets better but since than I am now 182. Need to lose more I am trying to hit 120. However I am aiming for a good body..and letting go all of my horrorible life. Wish me luck. ANd I wish you luck too...nobody can stop you from being a healthier you. :)
  • pamalama2001
    pamalama2001 Posts: 10 Member
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    At 10 I endured a night of seduction, including a special date and hand holding, the whole bit, with a VERY close relative. Rape was attempted, I got away, he got scared, swore me to secrecy and now its this white elephant between us. I still have love for this person and see him often, it can be very confusing. After it happened, I began to devalue myself and comfort myself with food, building my shield like many of you have mentioned. I didn't believe I was worthy of love, got around in my 20's and began binging. I turn 40 this year and I've been counseling for 20 years...I've slowly learned how to love myself. I married at 37 and have a wonderful man who still doesn't understand why I'm trying to lose weight. I often get labeled as a tough chick and I think that is just what I've become. My husband is my soft place to fall. Something that helps me is, I found a picture of myself a four, smiling and so happy. I now have it in a frame in my bedroom. She is who I think of when I want to binge again or hate myself. I say bad things in my head to the adult Pam, but I look at the young girl and want to protect her and love her better than she was. I make myself look at that picture and think, would you say or do that to her? Of course not, so then don't say it at all! Sorry so long...just nice to talk with others who really understand. Always looking for new friends, friend me if you like :)
  • AlayshaJ
    AlayshaJ Posts: 703 Member
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    Im not losing weight from a dark past, but I am also on a journey to self help from self destructive/emotional eating past stemming from trauma. I have a fast metabolism but would binge for weeks and then not eat for weeks. My parents were both active drug addicts since before I was born. My mom has stopped in recent years, but my dad has been in and out of jail for pretty much my whole life. In- right now, I just got a letter. Don't make any assumptions - he is an amazing father and taught me a lot. I have permanent issues with my mother, that will never be resolved. Its really hard working through that alone. The main thing that affected my eating was my father. Every time I would hear from him or talk to him I naturally can't eat- or I would over eat until I couldnt anymore. It didn't even enter my mind that that is what was happening. Its better now... Its still emotionally hard to make myself eat every day after I hear from him, which I do. Or hold myself back from eating, which I also do.
  • MomOf3XYs
    MomOf3XYs Posts: 2 Member
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    I was an emotional eater. I ate for every emotion happy, sad, depressed, celebration, boredom, you name it. I have always been a big girl. 260 lbs in 10th grade, then I dropped down to 198 going into my senior year of school. Had twins at 18 and gained all the weight back. I've suffered from severe bouts of depression that made me just want to lay in my bed with the covers pulled up and stick my head out just to eat ice cream and chips. I've been in emotionally abusive relationships well. Fast forward about 10 years and I am at my highest weight but I finally am able to wrap my mind around my emotions. I'm on medication and I have gotten much closer to God.

    Now I am dealing with the weight. And I am being successful at it. Its not coming off quickly, but that is allowing me to change my lifestyle on a long term basis. This site is awesome and all I can say is just keep on tracking food. Once I saw the foolishness I was eating on a regular basis....I was humiliated. No one needs to consume 3500 calories a day on a regular basis. I was doing this easily. I try to stay around 2000 calories (under). When I lose more, I will decrease my calories, like Weight Watchers.
  • missyjg99
    missyjg99 Posts: 246 Member
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    At 15 I was 120 lbs, active and happy. I started dating this older guy and one night I was raped by him and 3 of his buddies. I was a virgin. The next year I was over 200. It was the only way i knew to make guys unattracted to me. I never dealt with this until recently, over 20 years later.
    I can say that once I realized what the issue was I have an entirely new outlook on my life. I refuse to let them to have any more control. Take control back. You have to fight for it. Good luck. Sorry you had to go through what you did.
  • Purple_Orchid_87
    Purple_Orchid_87 Posts: 517 Member
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    my reasons for weight gain:

    1) Ongoing sexual abuse as a teenager (14-15) from a 45 yr old guy
    2) Very violent relationship resulting in numerous hospital stays (19-21)
    3) Depression following break up of relationship

    Due to (1) I put weight on through depression, but also because if i wasnt attractive, I wouldnt get the attention from guys
    Within (2) I was constantly put down, called a fat whale and generally told I couldnt do better than I had, and to be grateful
    But i'm far out of the depression now, and I'm back on here again to lose more weight
    Am 6ft tall and carry my weight quite well on a taller frame
  • moonlightturk
    moonlightturk Posts: 398
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    It takes 21 days to make or break a habit. Start today. Find new hobbies, new ways to overcome time and new methods to cope with stress. Keep going with that 'new' way. It'll be a slow process but if you keep at it - food wont be your 'go to' method anymore..
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
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    Well from the ages of 8-20 I had an eating disorder (and was on anti-depressants from the ages of 12-20), and went through various periods in that time of either eating virtually nothing and losing lots of weight, to gorging and binging and gaining a lot, and then times where I'd do both around the same time in a cycle. I've done it all - eaten nothing, lived on one bowl of cereal a day, eaten so much that then I'd put the toothbrush down, put all my food in to bin bags, cried over a biscuit... kinda weird to think about all that now!

    I was almost admitted to a hospital because of it when I was 20 (2010) and then when I refused, they said they couldn't really help me unless I was admitted, and then I left all treatment and decided to go it alone.

    Well then I've spent the past 2 years trying to eat a bit better, and started to eat more regularly without periods of starving. With this, I put on weight, and now I'm trying to lose that weight the healthy way. I think my body's only just starting to get used to eating again, and when I don't eat for 5-6 hours, I get a lot of acid and stomach pain. I think maybe my body gets reminded of old times.

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