Shedding Pounds Gained From A Dark Past?

I can relate some. A roommate told me I, "had such a pretty face" and "guys would be all over me if I lost the weight". I remember (aside from being a bit hurt) thinking that I didn't *want* all that attention from men. Becasue of my past, fat and frumpy feels safer than eye-catching and sexy. I know it doesn't make the best sense logically, but my anxiety tells me otherwise

I use to be so bad with food for comfort.
I don't know if many people can say this, but I would drive to Dairy Queen order the biggest freakin' item on the list and sit in my car and eat it till I was sick. Pretty horrible. I used it for a lot of things, boredom, sadness etc.
But I just got use to saying NO to myself, no i do not need that. I started treating myself to different stuff like back massages or new hair products, nail polish etc. I also started wanting to become more pretty, put more effort into the way i looked. I was a big sweat pants girl. Now i take time to put myself together and make me feel beautiful. (I'm sure I'm going to get some- You don't need make-up to be sure of yourself).....I don;t really care what they say since this is what works for me. But this got rid of the i'm not good enough feelings. Majority of it was just getting use to saying no to myself, stopping and asking yourself am I really hungry or am I bored, thirsty? (I drink water like it is going out of style)
And losing the bad habit friends that was just a fluke, just became enemies because she didn't want me to have a b/f.
Hope this helps add me as a friend if you want or have more questions.

In high school and early college I dealt with extreme depression and anxiety for a variety of reasons, which resulted in a few self-destructive habits. I was still dealing with those issues when I went through 2 years of absolute hell when I was 21-22. It took me over a year to get even remotely okay. That's my weight really started to balloon. I distinctly remember at one point thinking, "this has got to stop" but then the other part of me said, "you've been through enough- you deserve to enjoy yourself" and for about 7 years it went on like that. Now I realize I can enjoy things without food, I can enjoy healthy food, and I'd be so much happier if I were healthy and not overweight. It's still a struggle and I have my bad days but it's getting better, slowly but surely.

I used to eat when I was bored or upset which was basically all the time instead of having lunch I used to have chocolate crisps and sweets- and a lot of them

Everyone has their weight gain/lost story as no two are the same. Are there any MFPers who gained weight brought on from childhood trauma or other traumatic experiences in life? And if so, how have you been able to shed the pounds and move on?

I personally had a very traumatic childhood over the span of 10+ year and I gained weight by using food to protect myself. No, not an excuse, just my experience. I not only gained weight, I skated through life, completely dissociated from a lot of my reality. I am now seeking professional help to help with closing wounds that I never realize were still opened. Not every weight loss story starts from the freshmen 15, or extra baby weight, or even a chubby child. Would love to hear your stories!

Similar past, then I lost my weight, all 115 lbs of it. I was finally happy and expecting my third child. Then my son was born and he passed away hours later in my arms. It'll be one year tomorrow since his birth/death and I have gained it all back. I am now trying to start over, I try to stay positive for my remaining children, but it really has been a dark time. So I've got 12lbs gone so far and I've been a member for 2.5 weeks, things are looking up.

Take care xo

You probably hear this a lot but I'm sorry for your loss. You will break out of the depression. We all have dark times, and some of us even darker but the light will come back again. I know that sounds mega cheesy but you're not alone!

Thank you There are so many great people on this site

This should be called "The STRONG Women" Thread

I have to keep on repeating to myself... "I am not a victim, I am not a victim...." over and over till I feel better.

Thank you for starting this thread.

I started using food for comfort around the age of 10 when my parents got divorced. My mom was doing the same thing, and looking back I realize I learned a lot of my bad eating habits from her - some of my memories of us spending time together involve watching TV and eating mindlessly. I then lost the weight as I got older, then around 19 put some back on. Lost it again in my early twenties.

When I was 26 I was sexually assaulted by someone who I thought was a "friend." This brought up repressed memories of another assault when I was a child. About two months later, my mom died suddenly and I found out my dad was terminally ill. Needless to say, it was a rough time. I started coping the only way I knew how - food. Then I got laid off from my job and hit my highest weight ever. Then my dad died. Then my beloved pet died. And then, and then, and then...

I've had a lot of crap thrown my way in my life, more loss than any of my friends can fathom, and all before I was even 30 years old. I knew I was using food to cope - it was the only thing I could depend on, the only constant in my life.

So, here I am. I've been in therapy for about 2 years, and I'm finally at a place where I can even type out the things I typed above. They're not so scary anymore. I have a long way to go, but I'm just taking it one day at a time. It's all I can do. I'm sick of letting these things control me, ruin friendships, and define who I am. I just turned 32, and I want my life to be different. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen. I'm finally ready.

I was married to a Marine and a stress eater. Not only was I always stressed from worrying of my husband but he was physically and emotionally abusive when he was home. I lost all of my self worth and confidence. I finally left him in 2008; then I turned to alcohol to hid the shame of a failed marriage. I've always hated the way I look but was too lazy to actually do something about it.

I fell in love with a wonderful man who loved me for me big butt and all but I want to feel beautiful again. We are getting married in about 2 months and i want to feel and look beautiful on the day I marry my best friend

I kind of gained weight from a dark past...I can't relate though. I used to be really skinny and active like any normal 7 year old. And than when my mom started having mental issues and my dad leaving to the military.. I never really went out anymore I started eating a lot to fill a hole that was supposed to be filled with love. I ate instead. I started to become depressed at 11 years old and never really wanted to go out. When I became 12 years old I shot 210 pounds and I didn't care because right after that I got sent to foster care. Those years are gone now...everyday gets better but since than I am now 182. Need to lose more I am trying to hit 120. However I am aiming for a good body..and letting go all of my horrorible life. Wish me luck. ANd I wish you luck too...nobody can stop you from being a healthier you.

Im not losing weight from a dark past, but I am also on a journey to self help from self destructive/emotional eating past stemming from trauma. I have a fast metabolism but would binge for weeks and then not eat for weeks. My parents were both active drug addicts since before I was born. My mom has stopped in recent years, but my dad has been in and out of jail for pretty much my whole life. In- right now, I just got a letter. Don't make any assumptions - he is an amazing father and taught me a lot. I have permanent issues with my mother, that will never be resolved. Its really hard working through that alone. The main thing that affected my eating was my father. Every time I would hear from him or talk to him I naturally can't eat- or I would over eat until I couldnt anymore. It didn't even enter my mind that that is what was happening. Its better now... Its still emotionally hard to make myself eat every day after I hear from him, which I do. Or hold myself back from eating, which I also do.

At 15 I was 120 lbs, active and happy. I started dating this older guy and one night I was raped by him and 3 of his buddies. I was a virgin. The next year I was over 200. It was the only way i knew to make guys unattracted to me. I never dealt with this until recently, over 20 years later.
I can say that once I realized what the issue was I have an entirely new outlook on my life. I refuse to let them to have any more control. Take control back. You have to fight for it. Good luck. Sorry you had to go through what you did.

It takes 21 days to make or break a habit. Start today. Find new hobbies, new ways to overcome time and new methods to cope with stress. Keep going with that 'new' way. It'll be a slow process but if you keep at it - food wont be your 'go to' method anymore..