Embarrassment

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brookeclark824
brookeclark824 Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
I work at a nursing home. Tonight one of the residents rubbed my belly and said "theres a baby in there". Ugggg....I try to turn instances like this into motivation but darn it hurts. I cant believe I let myself get this big.....
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  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    That's just wrong! Im soooo sorry that happened to you. That is totally not encouraging! But keep with it and you will look back and LAUGH at this experience!
  • Savemyshannon
    Savemyshannon Posts: 334 Member
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    I FEEL YOU!!! I work in a nursing home too. Once I walked by on the dementia unit and one of the residents stopped mid-sentence to stare at me and go, "ooooh... that's a big'un."

    But being on this site means we're making our steps into the right direction. All you can do now is move forward from here and give yourself the best body you can!
  • iLuvJohnny
    iLuvJohnny Posts: 51
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    The same thing happened to me a few years and I still cringe when I think about it... just try to forget about it, that's what I did.
  • brookeclark824
    brookeclark824 Posts: 9
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    This was also a dementia resident. They tend to be very unfiltered in what they say lol. I am determined to lose this weight but most of all just be healthy!
  • gayje
    gayje Posts: 230 Member
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    But being on this site means we're making our steps into the right direction. All you can do now is move forward from here and give yourself the best body you can!

    What she said! You are taking a step towards getting the healthier happier smaller you by being here. Don't let it get you down too much, instead, use it as MORE motivation so it doesn't happen again in the future!
  • DataBased
    DataBased Posts: 513 Member
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    Someone I love very dearly went into a diner and sat at the counter, three stools away from a female patron who was very pretty and shapely. She stopped eating, put down her fork, and looked at him like he had just done something unspeakable in her plate. Then she said "You repulse me. Just the very sight of you makes me ill." She stood up, threw down her napkin, and walked out of the diner.

    It damaged him for decades. Slowly,. I believe he's turning it into motivation. But it isn't easy.

    Neither of you should have had to deal with unthinking, uncourteous behavior. But you know you can make the pain work for you. Harness it. What doesn't' kill us makes us stronger - if we let it.

    Hang in there, and never ever ever give up. :flowerforyou:
  • brookeclark824
    brookeclark824 Posts: 9
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    Thanks so much for the encouragment everyone!!
  • Afterblue
    Afterblue Posts: 78 Member
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    I work at a nursing home. Tonight one of the residents rubbed my belly and said "theres a baby in there". Ugggg....I try to turn instances like this into motivation but darn it hurts. I cant believe I let myself get this big.....

    YOU ARE HUMAN!! I know there is a sense of chutzpah associated with never letting people get you down, but the truth is people will say things that hurt our feelings whether or not they mean to. Feeling bad about it is not a weakness. It is human nature. It is the result of having human traits like sensitivity. If you didn't care at all about what people said, you'd be...well...weird! This is also probably the same trait that allows you to feel compassion for others, when you see them being subjected to mean behavior or thoughtlessness.

    Embracing the fact that it made you feel bad is one thing. Enabling those feelings to cause you to engage in behaviors that are going to sabotage your efforts to be a healthier person is quite another thing. So life got in the way, you were busy, you had tons to do, and you were not able to watch your weight. That is the past. There is an entire future waiting for you to grab it, and enjoy it. And only you can make that future happen! Good luck!
  • nsmpal
    nsmpal Posts: 11
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    Don't feel bad. About 25 years ago I was in my bikini at the river. My little nephew looked at my belly and asked me if I was gonna have a baby. I was crushed because back then I was 45 pounds lighter and had a nice bod. Now I laugh about it.
  • SafioraLinnea
    SafioraLinnea Posts: 628 Member
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    A similar realization experience occurred during my most recent semester of nursing school and it was what launched me into my get active, fit and lose weight self. The experience got captured on camera and is in permanently on my clinical instructor's computer because it was during a 'teaching moment'. No one said anything to me (everyone I know has been really friendly and supportive of me), but when watching it back and discussing it with the group, I was completely horrified by how huge I looked. I couldn't concentrate on the assignment at all. I only had eyes for how tight my XL scrub top was, and how completely unappealing I looked to myself.

    Rather than dwelling on that negative experience, I now realize that I have the tools to become the person I want to be, and in a healthy way. Every single day I see changes in my body that I am proud of, and I look forward to continuing my journey!
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    yep, that feels awful. It happened to me once when I worked in a plus-size women's clothing store. The lady looked more pregnant than me so I felt justified in telling her that it's not in good taste to ask someone you don't know if they are pregnant. It's tacky if there is any question. (of course a nursing home resident can't really be blamed for being insensitive. They're like children, painfully honest and often without tact) My belly wasn't even big in comparison to my butt per se, I was overweight but proportionate when it was said to me. Anyhow, it hurts when someone does that but I did get over it. Funny, I haven't worn that sundress since. Now a few years later it doesn't even bother me except my usually stellar customer service was called into question. But hey, the lady had it coming. Most of the gals that worked there were plus-sized and wore the clothes themselves. You want a skinny salesgirl? Shop at The Gap!

    Hugs
  • onyxgirl17
    onyxgirl17 Posts: 1,721 Member
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    My mom was scarred for life by comments like that. I used to tell her that they didn't mean any harm by it, but it must suck .
  • bubmaster
    bubmaster Posts: 90
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    i think it will happen to most women in their life time..just the way it is.
  • Ayla70
    Ayla70 Posts: 284 Member
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    I'm all stomach. Even when I had a lovely figure, I still had a bigger stomach than the rest of me. I've copped the 'ohhh when are you due' thing all my young adult life. I think people have only stopped now coz I'm old ;)

    *hugs*
  • CassandraM22
    CassandraM22 Posts: 89
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    I was at a grocery store with my sister and I had fallen the day before so I was stiff and couldnt move. I'm a huge couponer and while shuffling through the grocery store we wound up on the cereal aisle. I dropped some coupons. My sister bent down to get them for me and this lady walks up and looks me up and down, throws her hair back and says "Dont you think you should be doing that for yourself?" I was shocked. My sister stood up with blood in her eyes, I just smiled and said, "no, thats why god gave me a sister." turned around and walked away. I cried for two weeks. It was horrid.
  • ethansmug
    ethansmug Posts: 159 Member
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    This is when you show up the next day dressed as the Grim Reaper.
  • zonah
    zonah Posts: 216 Member
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    I work at a nursing home. Tonight one of the residents rubbed my belly and said "theres a baby in there". Ugggg....I try to turn instances like this into motivation but darn it hurts. I cant believe I let myself get this big.....

    YOU ARE HUMAN!! I know there is a sense of chutzpah associated with never letting people get you down, but the truth is people will say things that hurt our feelings whether or not they mean to. Feeling bad about it is not a weakness. It is human nature. It is the result of having human traits like sensitivity. If you didn't care at all about what people said, you'd be...well...weird! This is also probably the same trait that allows you to feel compassion for others, when you see them being subjected to mean behavior or thoughtlessness.

    Embracing the fact that it made you feel bad is one thing. Enabling
    those feelings to cause you to engage in behaviors that are going to sabotage your efforts to be a healthier person is quite another thing. So life got in the way, you were busy, you had tons to do, and you were not able to watch your weight. That is the past. There is an entire future waiting for you to grab it, and enjoy it. And only you can make that future happen! Good luck!
    .


    That's so well said.
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 557 Member
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    It's hard when these things happen. We know dementia patients just 'say' what their minds think. I keep saying there are 8 billion people in the world. Don't let 1 throw you off track. The whole MFP community is here for you.:flowerforyou:
  • Beautiful_Ideal
    Beautiful_Ideal Posts: 69 Member
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    One time when I was in high school I went to church alone and someone said to me: "It's so good that you're here. [looks down] You're...pregnant, right?"

    Needless to say I never wore THAT top again. Lol.
  • likearadiowave
    likearadiowave Posts: 445 Member
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    Someone I love very dearly went into a diner and sat at the counter, three stools away from a female patron who was very pretty and shapely. She stopped eating, put down her fork, and looked at him like he had just done something unspeakable in her plate. Then she said "You repulse me. Just the very sight of you makes me ill." She stood up, threw down her napkin, and walked out of the diner.

    It damaged him for decades. Slowly,. I believe he's turning it into motivation. But it isn't easy.

    Neither of you should have had to deal with unthinking, uncourteous behavior. But you know you can make the pain work for you. Harness it. What doesn't' kill us makes us stronger - if we let it.

    Hang in there, and never ever ever give up. :flowerforyou:

    Wow, what a cruel lady.

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