I am so frustrated!!
TashaeJanee
Posts: 18
:explode: I am so frustrated, but mostly because I don't have anyone to be directly frustrated at.
I have a 5 mo. old son who I love very much. God bless him but he is the worst napper ever. He can nap for a whole hour and a half in my arms but as soon as I set him down he's awake within five minutes. He wakes up at the butt crack of dawn, so the only time I get to myself is never before 11pm. That time is what I use to exercise. My boyfriend get's home at 12:00am from work so I try to get in about an hour workout before he gets home. It seems like every night after I put my son to bed I'll get into working out, good pace, heart racing, and my son wakes up. Never fails, always in the middle of a workout. By the time he's back into bed an hour has already gone by and I no longer want to finish.
I know I can't be mad at him, it's not his fault he needs me, but I still feel frustrated and upset. I honestly feel silly that I'm feeling so discouraged but it's hard. Does anyone else have this problem? How do you parents with small children find time to get in a nice workout while still juggling your family?
I have a 5 mo. old son who I love very much. God bless him but he is the worst napper ever. He can nap for a whole hour and a half in my arms but as soon as I set him down he's awake within five minutes. He wakes up at the butt crack of dawn, so the only time I get to myself is never before 11pm. That time is what I use to exercise. My boyfriend get's home at 12:00am from work so I try to get in about an hour workout before he gets home. It seems like every night after I put my son to bed I'll get into working out, good pace, heart racing, and my son wakes up. Never fails, always in the middle of a workout. By the time he's back into bed an hour has already gone by and I no longer want to finish.
I know I can't be mad at him, it's not his fault he needs me, but I still feel frustrated and upset. I honestly feel silly that I'm feeling so discouraged but it's hard. Does anyone else have this problem? How do you parents with small children find time to get in a nice workout while still juggling your family?
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Replies
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sounds like he hasn't learned the art of self settling.
When he wakes up, is he screaming the house down? or is it because 'omg mum's gone?'.
I'm all for control crying, some don't like it so each to their own. But in my opinion he can't become dependant on you to fall asleep, he is going to have to learn to do it on his own.
btw, yes I am a mum, i have 2 kids 5 & 3, and cc worked for them.0 -
I always had that problem as well, and my husband works a similar late night shift. Some kids just don't sleep much, however my son is almost 9 months now and ever since he started eating more he sleeps more regularly and is less cranky. If he's five months, it may be time to introduce some rice cereal. That may be why he's not sleeping very well. Most say 6 months but my son started to eat at 5 months and I noticed a huge change in his behaviour after he started to eat! You might want to try it? I am sorry he's an early riser
maybe try putting him to bed later? Good luck to you!
Oh, and a vibrating bassinett or swing may help as well! He probably likes the feel of your heartbeat, as well as the warmth and safety. If you swaddle and put him in something that vibrates, it may help. It did the trick for getting my son out of co sleeping and transitioning him to a crib.0 -
I feel for you I have 5 kids my oldest is 19 now and still dosnt sleep lol but at least he is in the gym with me at 6.45 am now it will get better he is still very young is there any chance someone could take him for an hour during the day to give you a break even to get out for a walk?Dont worry too much yet about getting back in shape that will come in time alternatively put him in his buggy and walk with him its great exercise and better than nothing enjoy him he wont be small long but do try and get that break you need it.0
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My children are now old enough to have their own. However; I was a mom who rocked her children to sleep and they slept in my bedroom for longer than most. I had a sling, which I carried them in constantly, kinda like still being pregnant. My work outs then are much like the ones Im doing now, Dancing. They loved it. Maybe you can incorperate that with what ever you can get in during the half hour you have late evenings? Or maybe he would be in a carrier sleeping in the same you where you are doing your work out, if its a "wheres mom" thing.
My kids cried very little, but they were in eye shot of me most of the time during their first year. That began because my first would just stop breathing for no apparent reason. I didnt want to lose her, sooo.
I hope this offers some help? Good luck. And congrats on the new babe.0 -
Thank you ladies for the replies!
When he wakes up I think it's definitely because he doesn't see me, he'll fuss and whine a bit before he really starts crying. I actually do have a vibrating swing and a pack-n play so I will have to maybe try those tomorrow during the day as a test run. Luckily he is really good in his stroller so we do take evening walks, I just sometimes feel like I need more! Maybe I'll try to slow it down, and try again when he's a little older.0 -
:explode: I am so frustrated, but mostly because I don't have anyone to be directly frustrated at.
I have a 5 mo. old son who I love very much. God bless him but he is the worst napper ever. He can nap for a whole hour and a half in my arms but as soon as I set him down he's awake within five minutes. He wakes up at the butt crack of dawn, so the only time I get to myself is never before 11pm. That time is what I use to exercise. My boyfriend get's home at 12:00am from work so I try to get in about an hour workout before he gets home. It seems like every night after I put my son to bed I'll get into working out, good pace, heart racing, and my son wakes up. Never fails, always in the middle of a workout. By the time he's back into bed an hour has already gone by and I no longer want to finish.
I know I can't be mad at him, it's not his fault he needs me, but I still feel frustrated and upset. I honestly feel silly that I'm feeling so discouraged but it's hard. Does anyone else have this problem? How do you parents with small children find time to get in a nice workout while still juggling your family?
have you tried a jogging stroller? taking a brisk walk in the afternoon with him in the stroller?
I feel ya... mine are 15.5, 13.5, and 12... and when they were younger... we went with the stroller a LOT!0 -
Thank you ladies for the replies!
When he wakes up I think it's definitely because he doesn't see me, he'll fuss and whine a bit before he really starts crying. I actually do have a vibrating swing and a pack-n play so I will have to maybe try those tomorrow during the day as a test run. Luckily he is really good in his stroller so we do take evening walks, I just sometimes feel like I need more! Maybe I'll try to slow it down, and try again when he's a little older.
actually seeing this...
maybe putting him to sleep in his chair where he can watch you if he wakes up
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I am not an expert on babies, but I know that if you are having trouble with him gettin to sleep, you need to teach him the hard way. The way my dad told me he taught me, if he knew I was fed, changed, and otherwise okay, he would just let me cry. it taught me that I dont always get what I want by crying. Babies are going to be clingy every waking moment, unless you train them not to.
Babies will exert a lot of energy by crying. He will tire himself out, and quicker than you think. He will then proceed to fall asleep faster, and sleep longer. Check the books....a lot of pediatricians say to do this.
It will be hard....your baby is crying, and mother's instinct tells you to go tend to your young. But you have to detach yourself to this little extent for him, and you, to get into a routine. Be consistent with bedtime. put him in the crib at the same time every night, definitely earlier than 11pm....try 8, or 9. Check in on him to make sure he is not in any harm, but let him learn than he needs to fall asleep at his bedtime. This will give you a little more time to exercise. Maybe not at first, but give it a few weeks to be consistent.
Humans like routine, no matter how old you are. babies are no different. Talk to your husband, or otherwise your pediatrician. I think they might have the same opinion. Good luck!0 -
Can you try working out while he is in the swing?0
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I had a baby who wouldn't self settle well.
I found Tracey Hogg The Baby whisperer amazing. Sadly Tracey Hogg has died but her information was so gentle. There is a forum around still.
The vibrating chair sounds great. Alternatively get yourself a good sling and walk walk walk! I lost so much weight without even having to think about it by carrying my son in a kari me and then a baby hawk. I loved the baby hawk, used it until my youngest was 4!0 -
aaahh, my second son was a cuddler, still is, but I went with it and have a very confident 2yr old. Would second the sling, honestly go up steps or a hill and you will feel the extra load! My local park has pramwork outs were you take baby in stroller and ex army guy marches you round and has you doing squats and dips on the park benches is there anything like that in your area0
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I am not an expert on babies, but I know that if you are having trouble with him gettin to sleep, you need to teach him the hard way. The way my dad told me he taught me, if he knew I was fed, changed, and otherwise okay, he would just let me cry. it taught me that I dont always get what I want by crying. Babies are going to be clingy every waking moment, unless you train them not to.
Babies will exert a lot of energy by crying. He will tire himself out, and quicker than you think. He will then proceed to fall asleep faster, and sleep longer. Check the books....a lot of pediatricians say to do this.
It will be hard....your baby is crying, and mother's instinct tells you to go tend to your young. But you have to detach yourself to this little extent for him, and you, to get into a routine. Be consistent with bedtime. put him in the crib at the same time every night, definitely earlier than 11pm....try 8, or 9. Check in on him to make sure he is not in any harm, but let him learn than he needs to fall asleep at his bedtime. This will give you a little more time to exercise. Maybe not at first, but give it a few weeks to be consistent.
Humans like routine, no matter how old you are. babies are no different. Talk to your husband, or otherwise your pediatrician. I think they might have the same opinion. Good luck!
I don't know if the ferber method of crying it out is necessarily the best way to go about it.. at such a young tender age, children are learning to trust the people around them and rely on mommy and daddy for care. I think its kind of sad to teach an infant that if there is something wrong and they're crying, no one will come and help them. What a cruel world
I realize this post isn't about parenting techniques but I wanted to point out that "cry it out" is not the only way. 0 -
I don't have kids so my advice probably isn't that helpful.
I think if I did have kids I'd like to be the kind of mum who ignored their crying if I knew they were fed, changed and happy and were only crying because of the 'where is mum' thing but I know deep down that I would probably crack.
Also, I once read something in a psychology book about an experiment that was done (definately must have happened in the years before ethical approval!) where babies were either ignored every time they cried, some of the time when they cried or were always went to when they cried. When the babies grew up the ones that were ignored every time or were never ignored were quite stable but the ones that were sometimes ignored were the ones more likely to develop mental health problems. I'm not sure how reliable this is, though, so yeah......basically I don't know! Lol.
What other people have said about exercising with the baby is good, though. The baby stroller idea or how about even having him in the room with you during the day while you exercise in a play pen or whatever so he can see you and knows that you haven't gone and hopefully wont cry but you can get a workout in?0 -
I've tried cry it out a few times but yes, like you said it is very difficult! He is such a little stickler that usually I initiate the "time for bed" routine at around 830 but he's kind of gotten to the stage of fighting falling asleep, so we're still working on it. I really like the idea of carrying him in a sling, especially walking. I'm sure it would make for a more satisfactory "workout" with his extra weight. I've never heard of Tracey Hogg but I will definitely check her out, sounds very interesting!0
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I am not an expert on babies, but I know that if you are having trouble with him gettin to sleep, you need to teach him the hard way. The way my dad told me he taught me, if he knew I was fed, changed, and otherwise okay, he would just let me cry. it taught me that I dont always get what I want by crying. Babies are going to be clingy every waking moment, unless you train them not to.
Babies will exert a lot of energy by crying. He will tire himself out, and quicker than you think. He will then proceed to fall asleep faster, and sleep longer. Check the books....a lot of pediatricians say to do this.
It will be hard....your baby is crying, and mother's instinct tells you to go tend to your young. But you have to detach yourself to this little extent for him, and you, to get into a routine. Be consistent with bedtime. put him in the crib at the same time every night, definitely earlier than 11pm....try 8, or 9. Check in on him to make sure he is not in any harm, but let him learn than he needs to fall asleep at his bedtime. This will give you a little more time to exercise. Maybe not at first, but give it a few weeks to be consistent.
Humans like routine, no matter how old you are. babies are no different. Talk to your husband, or otherwise your pediatrician. I think they might have the same opinion. Good luck!
^ This
I did this with my son as well, and with 6 weeks (he is 4 years now...) he was sleeping through the night. Check on him when you feel like you need too, but let him lie down in his crib/cot. He will cry, but he still knows you're around.. After a while he won't even cry anymore and will just go back to sleep. But don't let him sleep on you for that long, he will get used to it, and you will have so much trouble getting him to sleep when he's older!! Good luck!0 -
Slings are an excellent idea! You can actually log "walking, carrying infant or 15 pounds" on here as exercise! We have a snugli, very affordable and secure. You'll have defined calves in no time, and can get housework done as well! Lol0
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I am not an expert on babies, but I know that if you are having trouble with him gettin to sleep, you need to teach him the hard way. The way my dad told me he taught me, if he knew I was fed, changed, and otherwise okay, he would just let me cry. it taught me that I dont always get what I want by crying. Babies are going to be clingy every waking moment, unless you train them not to.
Babies will exert a lot of energy by crying. He will tire himself out, and quicker than you think. He will then proceed to fall asleep faster, and sleep longer. Check the books....a lot of pediatricians say to do this.
It will be hard....your baby is crying, and mother's instinct tells you to go tend to your young. But you have to detach yourself to this little extent for him, and you, to get into a routine. Be consistent with bedtime. put him in the crib at the same time every night, definitely earlier than 11pm....try 8, or 9. Check in on him to make sure he is not in any harm, but let him learn than he needs to fall asleep at his bedtime. This will give you a little more time to exercise. Maybe not at first, but give it a few weeks to be consistent.
Humans like routine, no matter how old you are. babies are no different. Talk to your husband, or otherwise your pediatrician. I think they might have the same opinion. Good luck!
I don't know if the ferber method of crying it out is necessarily the best way to go about it.. at such a young tender age, children are learning to trust the people around them and rely on mommy and daddy for care. I think its kind of sad to teach an infant that if there is something wrong and they're crying, no one will come and help them. What a cruel world I realize this post isn't about parenting techniques but I wanted to point out that "cry it out" is not the only way.
my sister had my mother co-sleep with her til she was 5....she now has no social life, and is not doing that well in 10th grade. She was pretty much spoonfed all her childhood, always hung out with mom (still does), and is even more socially inept than me. I am afraid she will not get a good start in life when she is 18. She still gets served breakfast in bed. I really dont get it. At that age, my brothers and I got in trouble if we even woke mom up in the morning, as in, we made our own food. My mom met my dad when I was 7, so I had already gone through that crying phase. I cleaned my own room, I did my own homework. I was totally different at that age than my sister was. that is how come I think it works. Yes, it is not the only way, but it is a very effective way,as it sets a very concrete foundation for the rest of childhood. That is what I believe, but I am not a pediatrician, family counselor, or parent. This is just what I have observed for 16 years in my own family.0 -
I've tried cry it out a few times but yes, like you said it is very difficult! He is such a little stickler that usually I initiate the "time for bed" routine at around 830 but he's kind of gotten to the stage of fighting falling asleep, so we're still working on it. I really like the idea of carrying him in a sling, especially walking. I'm sure it would make for a more satisfactory "workout" with his extra weight. I've never heard of Tracey Hogg but I will definitely check her out, sounds very interesting!
With my son, I started using a timer. For a few days, I would come into his room immediately. Then I would wait 2 minutes after a full cry to go into his room. I slowly let the time get longer. If he was still crying after 10 minutes I would go into his room. This gave him a chance to get used to self settling without having him feel like I was abandoning him. He's a great sleeper now, sleeps right through the night for the right amount of hours. The key is to find the method that works for you.0 -
I can't believe this will be my second post but here goes.
Parenting isn't easy, it never will be. Your child is old enough that he should be able to put himself to sleep. It's not easy(I have two kids and my wife works nights so I know first hand what I'm talking about) to hear your child cry but you're teaching him that everytime he cries mom will pick him up. What are you really accomplishing? How long will you continue to do this? If you think he will get over it on his own over time you're fooling yourself. He's not sleeping well because you don't let him. As
long as he's fed, has clean pants and is the right temperature he'll be fine. After its over with you'll be soooooo glad you did it and will have a child on a schedule and you and your BF can have some sense of normalcy and normal workout times. Just think, what if you had a second child and they weren't on the same sleeping schedule, you and your BF would die. We were in your EXACTsituation and our pediatrician told us this was the thing to do and he's got some experience:).0 -
I am not an expert on babies, but I know that if you are having trouble with him gettin to sleep, you need to teach him the hard way. The way my dad told me he taught me, if he knew I was fed, changed, and otherwise okay, he would just let me cry. it taught me that I dont always get what I want by crying. Babies are going to be clingy every waking moment, unless you train them not to.
Babies will exert a lot of energy by crying. He will tire himself out, and quicker than you think. He will then proceed to fall asleep faster, and sleep longer. Check the books....a lot of pediatricians say to do this.
It will be hard....your baby is crying, and mother's instinct tells you to go tend to your young. But you have to detach yourself to this little extent for him, and you, to get into a routine. Be consistent with bedtime. put him in the crib at the same time every night, definitely earlier than 11pm....try 8, or 9. Check in on him to make sure he is not in any harm, but let him learn than he needs to fall asleep at his bedtime. This will give you a little more time to exercise. Maybe not at first, but give it a few weeks to be consistent.
Humans like routine, no matter how old you are. babies are no different. Talk to your husband, or otherwise your pediatrician. I think they might have the same opinion. Good luck!
^^THIS
I did wait until 6 months old, but then I let my kiddos (all four of them) cry. It was the best thing I did for them. They did well with the structure and routine. It gave me sanity too and I didn't feel like I was walking on pins and needles around a sleeping baby. Congratulations on the new little one and nice job getting "back on the horse" yourself.0 -
i have a daughter but i didn't have that particular problem with exercise and her. However, i used to watch my nephew A LOT and i would need to exercise so i used the soft carrier so he was attached to my chest and used the stationary bike.... made some verm verm sounds when i wasn't too out of breath and he LOVED it... he would come over and point to the bike and wouldn't want me to stop.0
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Also get him on a sleep schedule... it will take a bit but it helps a lot: no cranky baby, more scheduled time for yourself and when he knows whats coming he will be happier too...
And its okay to be one of "those" moms... i will not go somewhere or leave early if its going to be time for my daughters nap and there isn't a place for her. it makes her a happier child to get her nap on time and on schedule.0
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