Criticism----over easy, or hard boiled?

j_wilson2012
j_wilson2012 Posts: 293
edited December 2024 in Motivation and Support
Hi. I am having fun on here....I dont have much of a life right now, so I focus on the fitness stuff. I like this website. I wanted to find out: What kind of criticism gets you to go? Do you want positive reinforcement, even when you are not doing so well? Would you like modest honesty about what you may be doing wrong? Or, is it constructive for you to receive harsh, direct, blunt, honest criticism, borderline insult, to get you going?

Myself, I need someone to grill me and yell that I can do better. Lately that has been myself, and it has worked. But that is just me. So, what outside criticism is constructive? In addition, what self-critique do you give to motivate yourself from within?

Replies

  • mirandamayhem
    mirandamayhem Posts: 772
    I don't take criticism well, after years of being told I have a pretty face if only I'd lose weight, and then when I lost weight, "don't lose any more you'll look old!".
    I prefer the gentle supportive "you can do it".
    My husband has been good, he'll let me go at my pace and just be there, but occasionally say something nice. No "move faster!" or "eat less!". It's working for me
  • mirandamayhem
    mirandamayhem Posts: 772
    But then I also read and research what I'm doing and have spent years working out what works for me. Unsolicited advice p$%es me off. But if i ask for opinions I'm going to accept I may not like what I hear.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    Both. I can truthfully say that I have learned to accept criticism either way. I would rather someone tell me the truth than candy coat anything.

    I would say the best motivators, for me are positive reenforcement.
  • rrrbecca11
    rrrbecca11 Posts: 477
    I am a self-motivator and thus don't pay much attention either way. I am also thin, so I hear a few comments about not being a "healthy" weight. I always smile and invite those people to run or work out with me anytime. :-)
  • droogievesch
    droogievesch Posts: 202
    I like a mix. If you tell me I'm doing great (positive reinforcement) I'm going to keep doing it. I'm not changing anything with positive reinforcement. If I'm looking for change it has to be hard criticism. The more I respect the person it's coming from, the harder it can be.
  • Ayla70
    Ayla70 Posts: 284 Member
    I don't need anyone criticizing or critiquing me. I can do that for myself. If anyone knows a better way of doing something, I'm all for it. I prefer the people in my life to be 100% upfront and honest. I have zero tolerance for lies and bullsh*t. But having said that, there are ways of saying things too. I'm here to learn and will never get upset with anyone who has advice and facts for me. But I have never been that girl that says 'does my bum look big in this', because I already have the answer ;)
  • Maddyjoe
    Maddyjoe Posts: 8
    I like hard criticism and like to give it. The only problem is most people who say they can take it can't.
  • Arexxx
    Arexxx Posts: 486 Member
    I can't take criticism.. But I also hate it when people say "GREAT JOB" when I lose 1/4 of a pound or something equally small. I want praise when I accomplish something big. Not when I do next to nothing ._.
  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
    Depends. On the one hand, if I'm doing something stupid or dangerous, I want to be warned. On the other hand, it is sort of annoying on here when people answer questions they haven't been asked (e.g. "How do I reincorporate meat into my diet?" "You don't ever need to eat meat.").

    However, I also think there are a lot of people on here for whom support means "Tell me I'm always right." I am not one of those. Even worse are the people here who enable that kind of thinking. "Oh, poor baby! I'm so sorry that your spouse/parent/SO isn't supportive of your attempts to force your healthy lifestyle on them. Don't listen to all the haters saying that you shouldn't treat adults like children."
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
    I definitely don't mind being corrected - like if the trainer in the gym corrects my form or suggests a different strength exercise for me, I'm all ears and appreciate the help. I don't even mind when he reads my food journal and tells me when I'm off track and what to tweak to make it better.

    I don't need to hear that I'm fat and that I really need to lose some weight. Yeah, I know that. :noway: :angry: I'm doing it in a healthy way this time (eating well, exercising, tracking everything, even the "bad" days) instead of following a "diet plan" that has faster results but in the end leads to burnout and gaining everything back plus more. I don't need to be reminded that I lost a lot doing a quick fix plan last summer - yeah, sure I did. Then I got very, very sick and couldn't get back on the plan and gained all the weight back plus more. I would much rather take it off slowly and keep it off.

    My inner voice gives me all of the harsh, negative criticism that I can handle. I don't need/want any more.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories